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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by AdaGrace on December 6, 2004, at 22:15:45
and someone looks out with sadness in their eyes, but never opens the door........
do you knock again?
or do you just walk away with the same sadness in your own eyes......?
Posted by partlycloudy on December 7, 2004, at 6:25:25
In reply to If you knock on the door, posted by AdaGrace on December 6, 2004, at 22:15:45
I would be sad that the door wasn't opened, but wouldn't wait for it to happen. Some people aren't ever able to open their doors.
Posted by saw on December 7, 2004, at 7:27:24
In reply to If you knock on the door, posted by AdaGrace on December 6, 2004, at 22:15:45
I walk away with the same sadness. I hurt so much for other people's pain. But if the door isn't opened, it's because my help isn't wanted.
S
Posted by justyourlaugh on December 7, 2004, at 22:38:46
In reply to If you knock on the door, posted by AdaGrace on December 6, 2004, at 22:15:45
i walk away and cry..
anger will boil..
will wash away bad thoughts with more tears.
j
Posted by AdaGrace on December 8, 2004, at 17:00:58
In reply to If you knock on the door, posted by AdaGrace on December 6, 2004, at 22:15:45
again maybe later, to see if the door opens? Do you give up, or do you give it time?
Posted by leendee on December 8, 2004, at 17:58:59
In reply to If you knock on the door, posted by AdaGrace on December 6, 2004, at 22:15:45
Hi Ada. I posted to you on the Newbies thread about your painful relationship ending.
I believe that if the person doesn't open the door, you must walk away. Your life does not have to be about staying next to a closed door dreaming of the door opening; it is somewhere else.
Somewhere you are welcomed happily without even having to knock!!
But you must leave the closed door and go out to look, no one will find you on that doormat. i hope you can feel your grief and anger, and I know one day you will move on. I know it's so hard...
best wishes
leendee
Posted by Susan47 on December 8, 2004, at 21:27:13
In reply to If you knock on the door, posted by AdaGrace on December 6, 2004, at 22:15:45
It depends on why I'm knocking, doesn't it?
Am I knocking on the door because I know this person needs me? Then I'll continue to try.
Am I knocking on the door to fill my own needs? Well, this person, sadness or not, has said no. It would be selfish to continue to knock, wouldn't it?
It's all about context, AG. What's yours?
Posted by saw on December 9, 2004, at 0:07:45
In reply to Re: So you wouldn't try, posted by AdaGrace on December 8, 2004, at 17:00:58
Yes, I'd knock again. But if there is still no answer, I will feel hurt by trying to help, so I will rather back off until the other person is ready to open the door.
Posted by AdaGrace on December 9, 2004, at 6:41:00
In reply to If you knock on the door, posted by AdaGrace on December 6, 2004, at 22:15:45
What if the door will never open again......
Once I realize that, once I admit that,
then my brain kicks in and tells me the door was never open, I was just walking into a plate glass window........hurt like hell, showed my ignorance, and the scars will be there forever.
Posted by Susan47 on December 9, 2004, at 9:06:24
In reply to Re: See, here's the delima, posted by AdaGrace on December 9, 2004, at 6:41:00
They might not, AG. You might get past this.
Posted by leendee on December 9, 2004, at 9:29:16
In reply to Re: See, here's the delima, posted by AdaGrace on December 9, 2004, at 6:41:00
AdaGrace
Yes, I know that it's up to you to decide how long it might take before it's right to knock again, or if the door will or will not open.
But remember that the person "not opening the door" has reasons.
Maybe he looks sad ---not because he wants you to break the door down or wishes he could open it--- but because your relationship is over and HE knows he has to move on.
Maybe he knows that although you spent wonderful time together, it's not going to resume and he doesn't want you wasting your time. Who knows?
Rembember that right now, you are the person guessing his feelings/thoughts, and you may believe you know, but the truth may not be what you believe.
And the time you spend waiting may be crucial time you could have spent healing and/or looking for that other, open door.
I know what you mean; i have waited plenty until i had the strength to walk away.
But the balance of waiting/moving on will tip towards what is right for you at some point, and you will know when time comes----that is, if you remain open to your feelings.
and you know, that includes your feelings of anger, perhaps disguised as guilt. You still don't mention any anger.... Is it there?
It can be a powerful source of energy.
good luck and thanks for replying
best
Leendee
Posted by Susan47 on December 9, 2004, at 10:18:40
In reply to Re: See, here's the delima, posted by leendee on December 9, 2004, at 9:29:16
Posted by AdaGrace on December 9, 2004, at 16:50:23
In reply to Dilemma. (nm), posted by Susan47 on December 9, 2004, at 10:18:40
Posted by Susan47 on December 12, 2004, at 7:36:34
In reply to Re: Bite Me!!! I can't spell!!!!!!!!!! (nm) » Susan47, posted by AdaGrace on December 9, 2004, at 16:50:23
This is the end of the thread.
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