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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by AdaGrace on November 14, 2004, at 22:40:09
and have said everything in my empty heart and mind. I Found out this morning that my husband read my journal and then lied about it being out in the open and he "didn't know what it was" (It was in my purse, not sticking out, in the car, in the *%^&^$^%#$&^% garage!!!!!!!!!) but he was looking for a flashlight. Flashlight my ^&&&^$^%.
And now I realize that nowhere, do I have privacy.I can't take a dump without being walked in on.
I can't post on Babble during the day because that is internet abuse at work.
I can't be on the internet at home when everyone is here, because I have them all sitting around me watching and reading what I write.
And now, I can't write anything down on paper about how I feel because it is read by others.
I don't feel I have anywhere to get these feelings out.
Posted by Susan47 on November 14, 2004, at 23:40:10
In reply to I am strung out all over this website, posted by AdaGrace on November 14, 2004, at 22:40:09
Adagrace I couldn't post either without my family going Mom get off there acting like it was a crime or something. I kind of feel sorry for your husband in a way because it must be hard on him to suspect you don't love him, or maybe even to know that you don't, but you're his wife. So in that way it must be hard for him?
Posted by partlycloudy on November 15, 2004, at 5:43:07
In reply to I am strung out all over this website, posted by AdaGrace on November 14, 2004, at 22:40:09
I became very secretive about my journals with my first husband, and went to great lengths to hide them successfully. I became paranoid about internet posting, making sure I had erased the history of where I'd been. Losing the ability to confide in each other was the next thing to go after being intimate, it became more poisonous until I was sleeping on the coach every night. Having a place like those hidden journals to keep my writing safe helped me get through a very difficult time, especially since I had no one in real life to confide in.
Posted by AdaGrace on November 15, 2004, at 7:22:49
In reply to Re: I am strung out all over this website, posted by Susan47 on November 14, 2004, at 23:40:10
IT's very hard for him. I know that. It's killing him that I will not let him in. He suspects, in fact probably already knows that I don't love him, and it's killing him. But I can't feel what I can't feel. I keep trying, and I keep failing, and It's killing me too. It's very hard to live with someone you don't love, and it hurts him so much he finds every way he can to feel what I am thinking, and reading my journal is just the beginning. He searches my purse, my car, questions my friends......it's not helping me or him. I feel bad for him, I do. I just can't feel love anymore. I barely feel it for my kids........I am so broken. I just don't know what to do. Therapy takes time I don't have. I can't miss work. I can't miss ballgames at night. I dont' know what to do.
Posted by Susan47 on November 16, 2004, at 0:12:17
In reply to Re: I am strung out all over this website » Susan47, posted by AdaGrace on November 15, 2004, at 7:22:49
Please tell me why you're trying, AdaGrace. I missed that in earlier threads, obviously... I'm really lazy and don't want to sift through, but I suspect it's ... what is it?
Posted by AdaGrace on November 16, 2004, at 17:24:54
In reply to Re: I am strung out all over this website » AdaGrace, posted by Susan47 on November 16, 2004, at 0:12:17
This is the end of the thread.
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