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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Colleen D. on October 8, 2004, at 9:02:57
to acknowledge anniversaries of special days in your time together? By acknowledge, I mean recognizing that the anniversary exists. I don't mean recognizing them by exchanging gifts, etc.
Yesterday was our 9th wedding anniversary and it came and went without notice. My husband mentioned that it was coming up a couple weeks ago, but dropped the thought and left it at that.
I am continually disappointed when he doesn't remember events like these. I'm not dissappointed enough to do a downward spiral into depression, but my disappointment make me think there is something wrong with our relationship and that I need to move on. I would like to find someone who regards me as their friend and do the tings friends do for each other like remembering special days in our lives.
How can one "move on" with children who are 5, 2 and 1? Or how can I get over this and accept that this is par for the course?
Thanks for listening!
Colleen
PPD, GAD and OCD
Posted by sunny10 on October 8, 2004, at 9:38:34
In reply to Does anyone else feel a need for his partner..., posted by Colleen D. on October 8, 2004, at 9:02:57
> to acknowledge anniversaries of special days in your time together? By acknowledge, I mean recognizing that the anniversary exists. I don't mean recognizing them by exchanging gifts, etc.
>
> Yesterday was our 9th wedding anniversary and it came and went without notice. My husband mentioned that it was coming up a couple weeks ago, but dropped the thought and left it at that.
>
> I am continually disappointed when he doesn't remember events like these. I'm not dissappointed enough to do a downward spiral into depression, but my disappointment make me think there is something wrong with our relationship and that I need to move on. I would like to find someone who regards me as their friend and do the tings friends do for each other like remembering special days in our lives.
>
> How can one "move on" with children who are 5, 2 and 1? Or how can I get over this and accept that this is par for the course?
>
> Thanks for listening!
>
> Colleen
> PPD, GAD and OCD
-----
Unfortunately, most men are like this- you're lucky he even thought to mention it all all!!!No point throwing him back over this, as you won't get another one that's any better at it!
This is one you'll have to "get over"-- although you could put up a calendar on the fridge and write them all in yourself with huge red hearts on the correct dates... Men don't go long without opening the fridge, either.
This approach worked for me !
-sunny10
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on October 8, 2004, at 10:17:48
In reply to Re: Does anyone else feel a need for his partner..., posted by sunny10 on October 8, 2004, at 9:38:34
Colleen,
I totally agree with Sunny on this. Most men aren't as fanatical about special dates as women. My husband remembers nothing. However, I make sure he remembers. I used to be offended when he wouldn't remember anniversaries or birthdays, but now have just come to accept that that is just him and that most men are like that.
Doesn't mean they love you any less at all. Their brains are just not wired like ours. No big deal. If the dates are important to you, make sure he remembers them. Men don't think about stuff like this.
Posted by partlycloudy on October 8, 2004, at 11:24:25
In reply to Re: Does anyone else feel a need for his partner..., posted by Miss Honeychurch on October 8, 2004, at 10:17:48
I now buy myself flowers, for all my husband's wonderfulness he can't see why I would ever want them. I have a hard time keeping track of dates so missing ones of note kind of slips right past me. I guess that's taking "living in the present" a bit too literally.
Posted by Colleen D. on October 8, 2004, at 13:50:45
In reply to Re: Does anyone else feel a need for his partner... » Miss Honeychurch, posted by partlycloudy on October 8, 2004, at 11:24:25
who always remembered special family events without any help from my mom. I guess that goes to show how much influence our family life has on us.
:-) Colleen
Posted by just plain jane on October 13, 2004, at 20:34:55
In reply to Thanks, ladies. I must have been SPOILED by a dad, posted by Colleen D. on October 8, 2004, at 13:50:45
I rather disagree with the notion that having a father who is considerate of his family could be defined as being spoiled.
Too bad you (and a great many other women) were not so blessed as your mother with your choices in husbands.
As for myself, struck out in all five games. Burned my bat, gave the baseballs and glove to the dogs for toys, tipped back my cap and walked away from the ballfield.
Sometimes I amuse myself imagining if my bat had made contact just once with one of their melons.
just barely behavin' plain jane ;-\
Posted by sunny10 on October 14, 2004, at 14:14:07
In reply to must have been SPOILED by a dad » Colleen D., posted by just plain jane on October 13, 2004, at 20:34:55
hey, hey, no violence here... (giggle, giggle, guffaw)
But we're all correct. Men just don't see things the same way.
Colleen, you might want to keep your good luck a secret, JustPlainJane might be jealous enough to beat you up ! Just kidding.
Makes me wonder, though, was Dad an only child- or perhaps he had many sisters? Usually it takes a man that was literally SURROUNDED by women while they were growing up to ever remember things like this are important to us!
Luck, lucky you ! NOT spoiled, just very lucky!
Posted by Colleen D. on October 14, 2004, at 20:27:27
In reply to Re: must have been SPOILED by a dad, posted by sunny10 on October 14, 2004, at 14:14:07
Nope, he wasn't an only child! (But I am. :-)) But his dad spent his "career" tending lighthouses on the Great Lakes so he spent his young life in the company of one older sister and his mom who was a person who had many friends and kept a big box of cards for all occasions. I guess that explains it! LOL!
Colleen
Posted by sunny10 on October 19, 2004, at 13:35:52
In reply to Re: must have been SPOILED by a dad » sunny10, posted by Colleen D. on October 14, 2004, at 20:27:27
so I wasn't Too far off--- good to know...
Keep smilin'
-sunny10
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