Psycho-Babble Relationships Thread 395734

Shown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Well Great....Now I Can't Have Sex and Enjoy It

Posted by AdaGrace on September 27, 2004, at 11:13:45

Thanks to Lexapro and Ativan, I can no longer have an orgasm......isn't that special. Great way to try to rebuild closeness with my husband. Now, do I quit taking the meds and suffer more depression, or do I keep taking the meds and suffer more distance with him?????????

 

Re: Can't Have Sex and Enjoy It

Posted by just plain jane on September 27, 2004, at 13:26:22

In reply to Well Great....Now I Can't Have Sex and Enjoy It, posted by AdaGrace on September 27, 2004, at 11:13:45

Sympathy won't make it improve, nor will my empathy, but I do wish there were a fix for it.

Someone mentioned some drug that's on the market now for women to help them increase their "passion", don't remember the name of it. There are TV ads about it. But... if it allows orgasm through the block of your meds...??
Let us know if you DO find something, eh? Please

just plain jane

 

Re: Well Great....Now I Can't Have Sex and Enjoy It

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on September 27, 2004, at 14:37:16

In reply to Well Great....Now I Can't Have Sex and Enjoy It, posted by AdaGrace on September 27, 2004, at 11:13:45

Do you get turned on at all? Is it a question of just orgasm or loss of sex drive altogether? Can you have an orgasm on your own?

 

Re: Well Great....Now I Can't Have Sex and Enjoy It

Posted by vwoolf on September 27, 2004, at 14:55:27

In reply to Re: Well Great....Now I Can't Have Sex and Enjoy It, posted by Miss Honeychurch on September 27, 2004, at 14:37:16

I found that after about a month on ad's my ability to reach an orgasm came back. I am now taking MAOI's (another family of anti-depressants) and have absolutely no problems in this sense at all. How long have you been taking the meds?

 

Missing the Big O

Posted by AdaGrace on September 27, 2004, at 16:25:17

In reply to Re: Well Great....Now I Can't Have Sex and Enjoy It, posted by Miss Honeychurch on September 27, 2004, at 14:37:16

Sex drive is diminished but not dead. But it was like that before, way before I f***ed up my life and ended up messing up my marriage and getting my heart broke. Now, it's just that there is absolutely no orgasm, and it's not for lack of trying on both accounts, with husband or by myself. Been on the medicine two weeks.

 

Re: Missing the Big O » AdaGrace

Posted by Susan47 on September 27, 2004, at 18:18:53

In reply to Missing the Big O, posted by AdaGrace on September 27, 2004, at 16:25:17

Wow, you sound like me. Are you me?
:]
Sometimes on Psycho-Babble I feel like I'm creating my own world.
Aside from that, I'll bet you could reach orgasm if you were with the right person, at the right time. :))

 

Re: Missing the Big O... » Susan47

Posted by just plain jane on September 27, 2004, at 19:19:52

In reply to Re: Missing the Big O » AdaGrace, posted by Susan47 on September 27, 2004, at 18:18:53

Susan,
Does a 25,000 rpm chiropractor's massage machine (looks like an orbital sander with a pad on it)
qualify as "the right person"?

;-O

 

Gasp, laughing so hard I can't breathe!!! (nm) » just plain jane

Posted by Susan47 on September 27, 2004, at 19:26:40

In reply to Re: Missing the Big O... » Susan47, posted by just plain jane on September 27, 2004, at 19:19:52

 

titter, chuckle, chortle, guffaw ;-) (nm) » Susan47

Posted by just plain jane on September 27, 2004, at 19:49:05

In reply to Gasp, laughing so hard I can't breathe!!! (nm) » just plain jane, posted by Susan47 on September 27, 2004, at 19:26:40

 

Re: Well Great....Now I Can't Have Sex and Enjoy It » vwoolf

Posted by gardenergirl on September 28, 2004, at 0:53:27

In reply to Re: Well Great....Now I Can't Have Sex and Enjoy It, posted by vwoolf on September 27, 2004, at 14:55:27

I take Nardil. I had anorgasmia at first too, but it, er, came back in a few months. ;)

I don't know if the same applies to SSRI's.

gg

 

Neither! » AdaGrace

Posted by Racer on September 28, 2004, at 9:53:20

In reply to Well Great....Now I Can't Have Sex and Enjoy It, posted by AdaGrace on September 27, 2004, at 11:13:45

> Thanks to Lexapro and Ativan, I can no longer have an orgasm......isn't that special. Great way to try to rebuild closeness with my husband. Now, do I quit taking the meds and suffer more depression, or do I keep taking the meds and suffer more distance with him?????????


There are other options which can help. The Lexapro is probably the culprit for your anorgasmia. All the SSRIs are known for that particular side effect. (Be thankful, though, that you're taking it now, not when they started coming out. The first doctor to prescribe an SSRI for me -- Paxil -- told me, when I reported anorgasmia, that "sexual side effects only happened to men..." Um... Hello? The portion of the body affected is in the BRAIN, Buddy, not the penis...)

There are a bunch of options, though, for overcoming this side effect. Let's see... Medication holidays, which is basically planning to have sex and stopping the medication for a few days in advance of that -- NOT recommended by me. Adding Wellbutrin to counteract the sexual side effects, which I've never tried.

And the one that has worked like a charm for me, and is what I'd recommend you try first: cyproheptidine, also known as Periactin. It basically blocks the effects of the Lexapro for a short time, thus resolving the anorgasmia -- and then wears off so the drug goes back to being its good old self again. Periactin is an old anti-histimine, and it does all those old AH things, like making you sleepy and making your mouth dry, but -- again -- it wears off. For me, it's like having my own version of Viagra. I take it before sex (about half an hour before), and then I can do whatever I had in mind to do, and then it puts me to sleep. By the time I wake up, it's worn off. Love the stuff. As an added bonus for me, my territorial tomcat (neutered, but hasn't really noticed) likes to re-establish his dominance in my life and my bed after my husband and I are intimate, and the Periactin helps with my cat allergy after a night with my nose in his fur.

Best luck.

 

Funny - Ha Ha

Posted by AdaGrace on September 28, 2004, at 11:09:39

In reply to Neither! » AdaGrace, posted by Racer on September 28, 2004, at 9:53:20

Well I am pleased that some are enjoying this thread. I want you to know that I am amused by your amusement, but not by my predicament. I was 30 freakin years old before I knew I could have the "Big O" everytime I had sex and even could have it without a partner. Trust me, I have tried many, many things.......(the jets on the tub usually do it, but not this time- :)). I really hate this......it's only been two weeks since I've been on the meds, and the side effect was immediate. I only wish the damn stuff's real purpose worked as fast. I'm telling you, I'm desparate here. How can you go off the meds for a few days and it take away the side effects when it is supposed to be 4 weeks before the stuff works right? Anti-histamines? I'm taking some Tylenol Sinus and Allergy medicine now......is that good enough? I'm 40 years old here and having an orgasm is about the only thing I enjoy in life at the moment......talk about depressing a seriously depressed person!

 

You misunderstood » AdaGrace

Posted by Racer on September 28, 2004, at 12:02:32

In reply to Funny - Ha Ha, posted by AdaGrace on September 28, 2004, at 11:09:39

Believe me, I'm not making fun of your predicament -- I'm in the same boat myself, except that my husband has no interest whatsoever in touching me and my libido is so far into the basement because of my own depression that I hardly care enough to try it on my own. I, too, am suffering from anorgasmia.

The three things I mentioned in that thread -- med holidays, Wellbutrin, and Periactin -- are from various medical boards, including Psycho-Babble Tips. They were not things I made up, they were real advice.

The Periactin, while it is technically an anti-histimine, is hardly ever used for that purpose anymore. It is used for a lot of other things, though, from treating Cushing's Disease (and Cushing's Syndrome), to mitigating side effects of chemotherapy, to adjuctive treatment of eating disorders, to veterinary problems that don't fit this board -- and it is the first line treatment for sexual side effects from SSRIs.

The reason that Periactin is the first line treatment for SSRI-induced sexual side effects is that it blocks the reuptake inhibition which causes the anorgasmia. That blockage is strictly temporary, which means that this drug doesn't interfere with the depression treatment, only provides a window during which this side effect is absent. Most of the other options will interfere more with the treatment. Periactin is a short acting drug, and it just blocks the side effect for a few hours, then allows everything to go back to normal. It doesn't interfere with the steady state of the AD, just blocks the effects for a few hours.

I'm very sorry you took my post in a way I hadn't intended. As I said, this is what worked for me. Cyproheptidine is not the same as over the counter anti-histimines, which will not work for the sexual side effects. As far as I know, this is the only AH that does affect serotonin receptors, and so it is the only AH that will work. It is also dirt cheap, because it has been around for a long time, which can also be a benefit.

I hope that this post is more helpful to you, and that you can see that I truly did and do mean to be helpful about this. Anorgasmia is a real problem, and it does interfere with treatment of depression. Again, I understand this inside my own skin, because I, too, experience it. This post is based on what has helped me, in hopes that it will help you, as well.

Peace.

 

Re: You misunderstood

Posted by AdaGrace on September 28, 2004, at 13:07:25

In reply to You misunderstood » AdaGrace, posted by Racer on September 28, 2004, at 12:02:32

I know that you weren't making fun, as well as I know others wern't, I acutally did laugh about them, not yours.....your's was informative. That last post was just my way of spouting off some laughter myself.......no pun intended nor taken.

 

Re: You misunderstood » Racer

Posted by vwoolf on September 28, 2004, at 14:02:04

In reply to You misunderstood » AdaGrace, posted by Racer on September 28, 2004, at 12:02:32

Anorgasmia is really serious, I agree. I self soothe a lot(to paraphrase my T, who uses this term as a gentler name for masturbation), and to me it was devastating to have no climax. I sympathise.

 

Re: Well Great....Now I Can't Have Sex and Enjoy It » AdaGrace

Posted by ron1953 on September 28, 2004, at 22:28:13

In reply to Well Great....Now I Can't Have Sex and Enjoy It, posted by AdaGrace on September 27, 2004, at 11:13:45

Ada:

I've been through it so many times I've lost count. It may sound simple and trite but please try to be patient. Like the other side-effects, it'll probably lessen with time. I think you might agree that getting upset about it will only make it worse (tension and sex don't go well together, meds or not). When I was going through what you're going through, I learned to stop concentrating on orgasm as a goal and learned a lot about the joy of lovemaking, orgasm or not. Sure, I would have preferred to climax but I found a great deal of satisfaction anyway. This way, I didn't allow my sex life with my ex to just go down the tubes. Would that have been fair to her? Without all of the self-imposed tension, we were OK. In time, the ability to climax returned - it took me a little longer but my ex didn't mind that one bit.

Ron

 

Wasn't kidding about the machine

Posted by just plain jane on September 28, 2004, at 23:51:41

In reply to Re: Well Great....Now I Can't Have Sex and Enjoy It » AdaGrace, posted by ron1953 on September 28, 2004, at 22:28:13

sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but either way it relieves tension.

;-)

 

Re: Well Great....Now I Can't Have Sex and Enjoy It » AdaGrace

Posted by NikkiT2 on October 2, 2004, at 9:58:38

In reply to Well Great....Now I Can't Have Sex and Enjoy It, posted by AdaGrace on September 27, 2004, at 11:13:45

Soomehow, I totally missed this boards arrival.. so this is my first post here..

the BIG O thing was a huge problem for me on Effexor.. when i was also trying to rebuild my relationship with my husband.

Anyway, not sure whether I'm allowed to mention this kind of stuiff here, but I will and see what happens!

For me, on the O issue, practice practice practice was the key to getting it back. I went out and bought a good vibrator (the Rabbit omces HIGHLY reccomended.. though the Rabbit 2 is not as good!), and when I had the chance had a play with it. It took a couple of months of daily, um, treatment, but it did start to get quicker and quicker. It might take 20 minutes or more at first, but after a couple months it was only taking 5 minutes or so.

And by the way, I did fall back in love with my husband.. and things have really really improved in our relionship. The sex thing wasn't too much of an issue, as at this time he also had to have some raher delicate surgery that left him unable to have sex for quite some months.. during this time we discovered that, for us, cuddles were the most important thing in getting closer. Holding, talking, and just relaxing with each other again.

Good luck

Nikki


This is the end of the thread.


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Relationships | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.