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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rnny on February 13, 2010, at 3:45:03
Again, not trying to look for trouble but needing to talk about this stuff. No one else to talk to about it yet I think about it and wish I did have someone. Has your T ever laughed at something you said and you didn't think what you were talking about was funny? I have found that to be the case with the new T. I actually started crying when she started to laugh at something and she then explained she wasn't laughing "at" me, blah, blah, blah. What difference does it make if you laugh? If you laughed, you laughed! I have to get used to her new personality. My old T would have been very sweet and actually said the words "I am sorry". She was really sweet about that. Not that I am looking to be waited on hand and foot but I would have liked to have heard the words "I am sorry" from the new T. Instead she gave me an explanation ("I was not laughing at you, it was a nervous laugh, etc.) Not begging for forgiveness but I know if I made someone cry I would say "I am sorry", it would come naturally. I am not sure if new T knew how deeply she hurt me. My old T and I worked a long time on a problem I had that I wanted to change.. a very long time and I still have not mastered the problem. It is a problem I am ashamed of (telling people to f--- off when I am mad at them and at times when other people are around. It makes me look bad and offends those around me and the person I said it to.) Was working with old T to change from using vulgar language and finding other ways to express myself. New T thought it was funny somehow and it wasn't funny. I worked very hard to break this habit. When she laughed that I had this problem I was working on and I started crying I think "I am very sorry" would have been in order. She also started to laugh when I told her another personal thing. She said she thinks it was a nervous laugh because she honestly wasn't laughing at me. But what difference does it make. Later on in the session I wanted to tell her something realated to the subject was finding it extremely hard because I was sure she was going to laugh. I believe her, but still. I mean I don't think she was "mocking me", that kind of laughter, but geez.
Posted by Dinah on February 13, 2010, at 11:25:49
In reply to Has your T ever laughed at 'the wrong time'?, posted by rnny on February 13, 2010, at 3:45:03
That sounds like an annoying and offputting personal habit.
Do her positive qualities offset her negative ones?
(My therapist's nervous tics include personal grooming rituals. It's distracting and can appear rude, since most people groom in privacy. But he has many fine and useful qualities so I try to overlook that one. I have, however, started to wince when he cracks his knuckles. I *hate* that.)
Posted by emmanuel98 on February 15, 2010, at 1:36:05
In reply to Re: Has your T ever laughed at 'the wrong time'? » rnny, posted by Dinah on February 13, 2010, at 11:25:49
My T, who I regard as the best T ever, often laughed at things I said and made light of things. He was just trying to lighten things up and get me to be lighter. For example, I once told him that my parents had died within 6 months of each other and he said, there's something to be said for getting it out of the way in one year. This never made my uncomfortable. But I guess the test is whether your T makes you feel comfortable and trusting or not.
Like emilyp said, maybe you are comparing old T to new T and finding fault needlessly. Or maybe this new T just isn't a good fit for you. Only you can tell.
Posted by rnny on February 16, 2010, at 21:01:39
In reply to Re: Has your T ever laughed at 'the wrong time'? » rnny, posted by Dinah on February 13, 2010, at 11:25:49
Yes, her good qualities outweight the laughing. And I have talked to her about the laughing too....thanks.
This is the end of the thread.
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