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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 19 to 43 of 51. Go back in thread:
Posted by Poet on October 28, 2009, at 11:53:40
In reply to good-bye, posted by Daisym on October 27, 2009, at 2:04:00
Hi Daisy,
I haven't been around much lately, either, but not for reasons of privacy. I don't twitter or facebook and if I expressed my true opinion about them I'd be blocked for life.
Goodbye Daisy. You can always babblemail me. I will miss your therapy experiences and once again you are brave to have faced those childhood demons.
Poet
Posted by TherapyGirl on October 28, 2009, at 19:53:30
In reply to good-bye, posted by Daisym on October 27, 2009, at 2:04:00
Daisy, I will miss you more than you could know. You have been so helpful to me on so many different levels.
I'm not enjoying the changes here either and it's just one more thing I'm losing along with my T. So I get it. I just hate it.
Love you!
Posted by muffled on October 28, 2009, at 19:54:59
In reply to Re: good-bye » Daisym, posted by Poet on October 28, 2009, at 11:53:40
Hey Daisy, I left too, but I still peek in, and judging by the names I see here, others do too.
So maybe not goodbye, but kinda, I'll see ya around sometime?
I cannot but wonder if there is another place we could gather?
I have another place I hang out, and the people are sweet there, but after the probs with babble I try and keep a certain distance. I don't want to get connected and have to leave.
So I hope I will see you around sometime.
Thats why I leave my babblemail on. Not cuz I want to babblemail, I don't(my trust issues). But then if ever there is a gathering elsewhere, maybe someone will let me know.
Thanks for the sharing you did, you are an amazing woman and I have the deepest respect for you. I am glad you were a part of my world for the time we had here. I am the richer for it.
Just I hope you can know, all parts of you, ALL of you are important and special.
Best wishes, see you around,
Muffled
Posted by BayLeaf on October 28, 2009, at 20:29:40
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by BayLeaf on October 28, 2009, at 6:18:15
Posted by Daisym on October 29, 2009, at 0:36:14
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 28, 2009, at 2:07:04
hank you taking the time to write. No apology necessary - I know this isn't personal. And I meant no disrespect with the fame and fortune comment - nothing wrong with wanting that. As someone who started and has grown an agency that helps people, I really do understand the motivation behind wanting to reach more people and to expand your "services" if you will.
That said - I guess one of the things that bothers me is that "those" people don't have to play by the rules I do. By being a member here, I've agreed to follow certain rules and to be civil - at least as much as possible. And I try to give to others while also seeking out their support. Those outside this circle just get to take.
It is all very complicated, I think we all agree on that. Maybe I'm just too old for this instant world - I mean, look - I use whole sentences and punctuation. That dates me right there. I thought finding a support group in cyber-space was so forward-thinking. Now it seems that it isn't enough to log in and read and post. Everything has to be forcibly shared with others.
A wise friend told me that nothing that happens in the future can take away the good we've already done. The same is true here. Nothing that happens in the future will change the value that has existed for me from Babble. I can't imagine how things would have gone for me if I hadn't stumbled onto this site. For that I will always be eternally grateful to you, Bob, for making this place available to me. I hope that running things is still fun and fulfilling.
Posted by Cecilia on October 29, 2009, at 3:39:12
In reply to Re: I'm confused » Cecilia, posted by Deneb on October 28, 2009, at 4:09:43
I still don't get it. Why would people want to post some anonymous person's posts to their own twittter or facebook pages? Are they trying to pass them off as their own or what? Cecilia
Posted by 10derHeart on October 29, 2009, at 4:27:54
In reply to Still confused, posted by Cecilia on October 29, 2009, at 3:39:12
I don't think that's a reason, as I have only seen links from anyone who uses Twitter to post Tweets leading people to other places. But - I know nothing of Facebook so can't say how it works over there. But I'm basically with you in that I really don't understand the "why" except in the case of someone such as Dr. Bob, who does this, I guess to hopefully bring new posters to Babble:
http://twitter.com/psycho_babel
and even does some on his personal Twitter page:
He is editing the posts he Retweeted to include a synopsis of what the poster wrote about, which I guess could help Google hits? and/or let his followers know whether they want to surf over to PB and start reading the thread?? I'm just making guesses here - no special insight into Dr. Bob's mind, trust me.
I can't imagine why others who are not Babblers would really be doing it either. I don't always have the greatest imagination, though. People do a lot of stuff I would never think of/imagine/enjoy and so forth.
Maybe to....
show friends/family (and followers they do not know in the case of Twitter (don't know Facebook rules) who follow them: " look what I read...." for good and helpful reasons (linking to med info, support info) or bad reasons (whoa! the people at this forum are whacked!)
Deneb Tweets **just** her own posts like this:
She has stated some reasons in her posts here, but I can't remember exactly.
The overall trouble is, people feel violated that Dr. Bob would make it easier to create a link, and some (see Admin) are quite upset he Twittered the link to a poster who recently had an actual suicide plan/near attempt, for various reasons I won't try to restate (see Admin)
That's all I know, and it ain't much.
Posted by Cecilia on October 29, 2009, at 5:20:42
In reply to Re: Still confused » Cecilia, posted by 10derHeart on October 29, 2009, at 4:27:54
This is crazy! The Twitter link you posted as an example is NOT just to Deneb's own posts; she has posted dozens of other people' posts, including people who have requested NOT to have their posts tweeted! I don't know why she is doing this, but it makes me furious, furious that anyone would do this and furious that Dr. Bob would allow it. It is extremely violating. Cecilia
Posted by Cecilia on October 29, 2009, at 5:49:15
In reply to Re: Still confused » 10derHeart, posted by Cecilia on October 29, 2009, at 5:20:42
And half the posts Dr. Bob has tweeted have "do not share/ tweet" at the bottom!! Why did he even bother having a "do not share" list if he was planning to totally ignore it!!
I had no idea Twitter was mostly links. I had read that it was people answering the question "What are you doing?" and not paid any attention to it because frankly I'm not that interested in what most people are doing. But apparently it's mostly people sending links gossiping about what other people are doing. Is Facebook the same, only with pictures?
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 29, 2009, at 10:14:03
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does » Dr. Bob, posted by Daisym on October 29, 2009, at 0:36:14
> I guess one of the things that bothers me is that "those" people don't have to play by the rules I do. By being a member here, I've agreed to follow certain rules and to be civil - at least as much as possible. And I try to give to others while also seeking out their support. Those outside this circle just get to take.
On Facebook and Twitter, people have to play by the Facebook and Twitter rules. But if people from there come here, then they have to play by the Babble rules.
People have always been able to lurk and just take. And benefit from the generosity of Babblers sharing their experiences and insights with them. But it's good to give as well as to receive, and they miss out on the giving.
> It is all very complicated, I think we all agree on that. Maybe I'm just too old for this instant world - I mean, look - I use whole sentences and punctuation. That dates me right there. I thought finding a support group in cyber-space was so forward-thinking. Now it seems that it isn't enough to log in and read and post. Everything has to be forcibly shared with others.
I agree, it's complicated. I think it's nice to share, but I'm not forcing anyone to click those buttons.
> A wise friend told me that nothing that happens in the future can take away the good we've already done. The same is true here. Nothing that happens in the future will change the value that has existed for me from Babble. I can't imagine how things would have gone for me if I hadn't stumbled onto this site. For that I will always be eternally grateful to you, Bob, for making this place available to me. I hope that running things is still fun and fulfilling.
Thank you, and I'll be eternally grateful to you for sharing so much with this community.
Maybe there are people on Facebook and Twitter who would also benefit in some way if they stumbled onto this site?
Bob
Posted by 10derHeart on October 29, 2009, at 13:48:36
In reply to Re: Still confused (And FURIOUS), posted by Cecilia on October 29, 2009, at 5:49:15
Dr. Bob and Deneb have not done that. It seems like you are probably confusing a request to not be Twittered or Facebooked with the link that now appears at the bottom, right-hand side of each of our posts. Have you clicked on the link?
That link itself automatically appears. It is new, and Dr. Bob added it as a response to posters' concerns, right after he added the two buttons on the left. It is *not* a request itself. It is just a link to the thread where posters at Babble have/can post their wishes to not be Twittered/Facebooked to Dr. Bob. It was started back in the summer, when Dr. Bob first started wanting to Tweet posts, but more people have re-asked and reaffirmed their requests lately, after he added the links to FB and Twitter. He has agreed to honor those and he definitely has as far as I know.
As for others, that would be their choice. There has never been anything we could could do to prevent anyone, anywhere, any time, from linking our Babble posts to their web pages, including social networking pages. Babble is a public forum. The two buttons just make it easier for those with Facebook or Twitter accounts.
You are right re: Twitter. It is to answer,"What are you doing?" But since you can only type 140 characters, people seem to link a lot to direct their readers/followers where they'd like them to go. For example, to click over and take a look at a Babble post.
Sorry if I caused any confusion.
Posted by BayLeaf on October 29, 2009, at 17:31:22
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 29, 2009, at 10:14:03
"Maybe there are people on Facebook and Twitter who would also benefit in some way if they stumbled onto this site?" - Bob
Good lord! Give it a rest! This is WHY SHE IS LEAVING. And they won't be stumbling, since you are sending them the posts....even the suicidal ones.
Posted by BayLeaf on October 29, 2009, at 17:34:24
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 29, 2009, at 10:14:03
"Thank you, and I'll be eternally grateful to you for sharing so much with this community."
for sharing that. bay
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 29, 2009, at 23:42:11
In reply to Re: Still confused (And FURIOUS) » Cecilia, posted by 10derHeart on October 29, 2009, at 13:48:36
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 30, 2009, at 0:07:16
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does » Dr. Bob, posted by BayLeaf on October 29, 2009, at 17:31:22
> > Maybe there are people on Facebook and Twitter who would also benefit in some way if they stumbled onto this site?
>
> Good lord! Give it a rest! This is WHY SHE IS LEAVING.She's leaving because others might benefit from this site?
> And they won't be stumbling, since you are sending them the posts....even the suicidal ones.
OK, it might not exactly be stumbling if I send it to them. But they still might benefit.
Is this:
> > I'm still alive. knowing you beautiful people give a sh*t and understand makes me feel warm inside
what you're referring to as suicidal? Do you think I shouldn't have sent that? I thought it was a nice example of how people do benefit from this site.
Bob
Posted by Justherself54 on October 30, 2009, at 1:41:02
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 30, 2009, at 0:07:16
> > I'm still alive. knowing you beautiful people give a sh*t and understand makes me feel warm inside
what you're referring to as suicidal? Do you think I shouldn't have sent that? I thought it was a nice example of how people do benefit from this site.
No, I didn't think you should have sent that..because it shows all the posting names of babblers who responded and I DON'T WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH TWITTER IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM....but through your loopholes, my posting name and response is out there. What don't you get about this?
But you own this site and can do what you please, and you have hurt and angered me beyond belief. I thought my posting name and posts would not be twittered because I opted out..jokes on me. Fool me once, shame on me..fool me twice..SHAME ON YOU!
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 30, 2009, at 5:13:13
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Justherself54 on October 30, 2009, at 1:41:02
> > > [ psycho_babel Impermanence: I'm still alive. knowing you beautiful people give a sh*t and understand makes me feel warm inside http://tiny.dr-bob.org/vnpf ]
>
> Do you think I shouldn't have sent that? I thought it was a nice example of how people do benefit from this site.
>
> No, I didn't think you should have sent that..because it shows all the posting names of babblers who responded and I DON'T WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH TWITTER IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM....I replaced the excerpt with the whole tweet. You can see that his posting name is the only one that's there. If you click on the link, yes, then you can see Babblers who responded, too, but that's because you're not on Twitter anymore, you're back on Babble.
Bob
Posted by BayLeaf on October 30, 2009, at 18:12:17
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 30, 2009, at 0:07:16
> > Maybe there are people on Facebook and Twitter who would also benefit in some way if they stumbled onto this site?
>
> Good lord! Give it a rest! This is WHY SHE IS LEAVING.She's leaving because others might benefit from this site? - Bob
----------------------------------------------why do you do this? ** you know why she is leaving**. She expressed it beautifully.
do you think you are being clever, funny, insightful? you're not.
Posted by muffled on October 31, 2009, at 12:00:32
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 30, 2009, at 0:07:16
> > > Maybe there are people on Facebook and Twitter who would also benefit in some way if they stumbled onto this site?
> >
> > Good lord! Give it a rest! This is WHY SHE IS LEAVING.
>
> She's leaving because others might benefit from this site?*"Others" might in fact beneifit from this site....(if it felt safe....)
But what about the people ALREADY here??? Have you considered THEM?????? At all???
You keep talking about others benefitting from babblers knowlege etc, but this is BABBLERS knowledge(not yours). You thow it out there willy nilly w/o regard to babblers sense of safety and privacy. Like you own us. You own our words, our feelings that we trustingly put down. You don't ask, you TAKE, in the name of helping others, but not helping US at all.
>
> > And they won't be stumbling, since you are sending them the posts....even the suicidal ones.
>
> OK, it might not exactly be stumbling if I send it to them. But they still might benefit.*AGAIN, this may benefit "others", but what of the poster?? What about THEM???
> Is this:
>
> > > I'm still alive. knowing you beautiful people give a sh*t and understand makes me feel warm inside
>
> what you're referring to as suicidal? Do you think I shouldn't have sent that? I thought it was a nice example of how people do benefit from this site.
>
> Bob*Yes, that example, at this point, seems to have worked out.
But it was private, intimate, personal....on both sides. The posters trying to help, and the suicidal person.
I don't think stuff like that should be thrown all over. Its PERSONAL.
Ugh, you don't get it do you?
I just gotta break free :(
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 31, 2009, at 15:27:57
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by muffled on October 31, 2009, at 12:00:32
> You keep talking about others benefitting from babblers knowlege etc, but this is BABBLERS knowledge(not yours). You thow it out there willy nilly w/o regard to babblers sense of safety and privacy. Like you own us. You own our words, our feelings that we trustingly put down. You don't ask, you TAKE, in the name of helping others, but not helping US at all.
> it was private, intimate, personal....on both sides. The posters trying to help, and the suicidal person.
> I don't think stuff like that should be thrown all over. Its PERSONAL.
> Ugh, you don't get it do you?Several posters have mentioned that posts here have always been public and available for sharing, including on Facebook and Twitter when they came along. A dialectic of this community is that it is public, yet can feel private.
Sharing and tweeting might lead Facebook and Twitter users to the many thoughtful and intelligent posts here, and then they might join Babble and contribute new perspectives and energy.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090813/msgs/922824.html
I have mixed feelings about us-them thinking. If new Babblers contribute their perspectives and energy, that would of course benefit old Babblers. It's nice to stick together, but it's nice to be open, too.
Bob
Posted by muffled on October 31, 2009, at 15:45:11
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 31, 2009, at 15:27:57
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090930/msgs/923678.html
At the end I mention the difference btwn a cosy fireside chat as opposed to a gymnasium full of people....
And most people consider me generally very open.
Just I think there are limits to being open...
Boundaries...I hope you are in fact impervious to feeling too much hurt Bob. I hate to think I might be hurting you, becuase that is NOT my intention. I am trying to protect others from being hurt the way I been hurt.
I am trying to find solutions to the problem of keeping in touch w/babblers.
Unfortunately, your past history here just keeps repeating itself.
I like the idea of reconnecting w/babblers, cuz it was a special place. I am under no illusions its easy to run a site.
Its just that this one doesn't work for me, for all of the reasons stated on various threads.
You Bob, I accept as a person, but I do not accept how you run your site here.
That is why I have been posting.
Take care,
M
Posted by muffled on October 31, 2009, at 15:54:14
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 31, 2009, at 15:27:57
> > You keep talking about others benefitting from babblers knowlege etc, but this is BABBLERS knowledge(not yours). You thow it out there willy nilly w/o regard to babblers sense of safety and privacy. Like you own us. You own our words, our feelings that we trustingly put down. You don't ask, you TAKE, in the name of helping others, but not helping US at all.
>
> > it was private, intimate, personal....on both sides. The posters trying to help, and the suicidal person.
> > I don't think stuff like that should be thrown all over. Its PERSONAL.
> > Ugh, you don't get it do you?
>
> Several posters have mentioned that posts here have always been public and available for sharing, including on Facebook and Twitter when they came along. A dialectic of this community is that it is public, yet can feel private.*yes always been public, but not w/ads all over in every newspaper in the country....(analogy)
> Sharing and tweeting might lead Facebook and Twitter users to the many thoughtful and intelligent posts here, and then they might join Babble and contribute new perspectives and energy.*gymnasium vs fireside chat.....
What you may be forgetting, is that the DEPTH, the nature(content) of the posts will likely change due to it being so 'open' here...
BTW, if I ever, or somebody ever sets up a site, I would welcome you to join, for all that you piss me off in how you treat babble(BIG TIME), I DO find you rather entertaining ;-) Like a puzzle to try and solve or something?!
M
Posted by psych chat on October 31, 2009, at 17:02:43
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 31, 2009, at 15:27:57
There is a big difference - cutting and pasting someone's words does not prove a person wrote what they did. Linking does in fact indicate the person did write the words; it also allows someone to come back here and read all of the person's posts..
The key factor here is the ability to edit/delete your posts - if you find someone who has a link to your comment on their website, perhaps someone who is acting maliciously, and you were able to delete the post - then no problem.
You hold people hostage to what they said, perhaps while experiencing mental distress, for the rest of their lives.
"Several posters have mentioned that posts here have always been public and available for sharing, including on Facebook and Twitter when they came along. A dialectic of this community is that it is public, yet can feel private."
- Dr. Bob
Posted by muffled on October 31, 2009, at 17:25:42
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by muffled on October 31, 2009, at 12:00:32
on this post I am responding to(mine)...the face book counter thing says 1.
So does that mean someone has linked my post?
Even though I am the do not tweet list?
Or does the do not tweet not apply to facebook links?
I am confused....
M
Posted by Deneb on October 31, 2009, at 17:36:55
In reply to what does this mean?, posted by muffled on October 31, 2009, at 17:25:42
The Do Not Tweet list also applies to Facebook, but it is not guaranteed that the person who wants to Tweet or FB a post will consult the Do Not Tweet/FB list. It could be because they are not aware of the list, they simply are going against the person's wishes, or they someone missed that person's name on the list.
When you see a number next to the Facebook or Twitter buttons, it can mean two things. One, it can mean someone has indeed tweeted or Facebooked your post and two, it can mean they clicked the button but did not confirm the posted. Several people have tried clicking the buttons out of curiousity but did not confirm the posting. It seems just a single click is enough to make the counter jump.
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