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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Garnet71 on September 10, 2009, at 21:07:01
I found wonderful new T who has all the qualities I was looking for. It's been a little less than 2 months, and he's already created a totally safe environment for me to express myself with little inhibitions or worries, in a way that will totally support my growth. I feel free to discuss and reveal anything and everything, so far.
My only concern, and I just realized this, is that the transference now feels like friendship rather than parent-child like it did initially. Maybe it is temporary, I don't know. He is just a few years older than my mom.
I think it's because he self-discloses alot...he's analytic/psychodynamic based, a PDoc too, but tells me a lot of personal stuff, his countertransference feelings, and we have common interests and we get off track in conversations... We are actually alike in many ways in thought, belief system, philosophies, interests. He told me some things about his own experience in analysis, his childhood, marriage, etc. He said he'd answer anything I asked but has boundaries that if he is having current emotional problems, family conflict, concerns, etc., he'd never discuss it because it wouldn't be fair to me. He said he'd also not answer anything if he thought it wouldn't be helpful. He's a contextual thinker, so likes to relate stuff to his personal experiences, other patients, etc.
His disclosure style actually facilitated my trust in him, in many ways. He is the most honest, non-judgmental mental health professional I've ever dealt with. So comforting. He personally knows the last T I tried therapy with very well, the one who traumatized me, infered they were friends, and said he is so "old-school" and a blank screen, but he doesn't believe in that style of therapy. He really helped me with that situation.
I really like his personality and appreciate his self-disclosure. But at the same time, I'm wondering if this could affect my progress. So I guess my question/concern is, is it possible to develop a "friendship" transference, is this good, will this change, should it be more parent-child like? Can it work this way? Has this happened to anyone else? Just a bit confused here. I don't have a lot of experience with this type of therapy.
Posted by Dinah on September 11, 2009, at 19:55:27
In reply to T self disclosure and transference, posted by Garnet71 on September 10, 2009, at 21:07:01
There are lots of different ways a therapeutic relationship can be, and none are inherently better than any others.
Collegial rather than romantic or erotic or parental or teacher is just fine if that's how it is. As long as it's helpful to you, that's what matters.
I do think that increased self disclosure tends to decrease transference. Because the more blanks that are left for us to fill in, the more likely we are to fill them in with templates from our past. For some kinds of therapy that's helpful. For other kinds it's not as important.
I'm glad you feel you're doing better seeing him. In the end, that's what therapy is for.
Posted by Garnet71 on September 12, 2009, at 6:43:29
In reply to Re: T self disclosure and transference » Garnet71, posted by Dinah on September 11, 2009, at 19:55:27
Dinah-What you said pertaining to emotional processing is my concern. The last T I tried was totally blank screen; although it was too extreme, it seemed helpful in accessing all my emotions. Therapy with him was very fast and agressive, and my mind was flooded with emotional content from my unconsciousness. It was too fast and too soon.
Maybe what this T is doing is part of trust building, but I'm not sure. It seemed as if by the last session, he built this totally safe enviornment for me, where I can be my uninhibited self and share anything and everything. It was as if he devised some elaborate plan to create this space, though not a rational observation, and now I feel a physical presence of safety of some sort, like a shield around us and his office. It's really odd how since I've begun psychotherapy, I've experienced concrete visualizations of feelings.
I know how important the alliance is, and since that is very good so far, maybe I shouldn't be worried about the self disclosure. But it does seem that the parental transference would have some significance in therapy for my situation. I know transference can change, I suppose I'll just wait and see.
Thanks for telling me that-It wasn't initially clear to me how self disclosure directly affects transference, but now I can apply the connection to my experience. It all makes sense now.
Posted by Dinah on September 12, 2009, at 10:00:31
In reply to Re: T self disclosure and transference, posted by Garnet71 on September 12, 2009, at 6:43:29
I was truly shocked to discover that my therapist rarely made such elaborate plans. I had gone into therapy thinking that my therapist would know all sorts of Machiavellian tools of mind manipulation, and would structure our interactions to produce the effect he wanted.
But happily, and sadly, this was not so. I had to give up on the notion of an omnipotent, omniscient therapist in control of the situation, and settle for someone with professional training blundering ahead with me on a path that was uniquely mine, so that he can't possibly know where he's going any more than I can.
I'm guessing that your therapist is considering your extreme reaction to your last therapist, and that you consider the reason for that reaction to be his blank slate approach. So he might be self disclosing to a greater extent than normal.
But it is a good idea to keep an eye on it. As long as the self disclosure is for your benefit, and appropriate and to the point, I think a bit of self disclosure can be a good thing. If only to burst bubbles of transference to keep the pressure at the ideal, instead of allowing it to become overwhelming. Or at least that's my opinion. I'm sure others differ.
However, I've heard enough stories on Babble to think that some therapists are self disclosers by nature, and not all of them self disclose entirely for the patient's benefit.
I think a common theme of client responsibility is to be aware, and to trust the therapist but with some knowledge of what may or may not be appropriate.
Posted by Garnet71 on September 12, 2009, at 11:42:54
In reply to Re: T self disclosure and transference » Garnet71, posted by Dinah on September 12, 2009, at 10:00:31
"I was truly shocked to discover that my therapist rarely made such elaborate plans. I had gone into therapy thinking that my therapist would know all sorts of Machiavellian tools of mind manipulation, and would structure our interactions to produce the effect he wanted. But happily, and sadly, this was not so. I had to give up on the notion of an omnipotent, omniscient therapist in control of the situation, and settle for someone with professional training blundering ahead with me on a path that was uniquely mine, so that he can't possibly know where he's going any more than I can."
Hahaha Dinah. That's how the last T was; and it was mind manipulation--he was very authoritive and controlled the whole process, keeping me in a high-state of anxiety while agressively probing, pressure, confronting, tearing down all my defenses before he even knew me. I never got a word in unless he asked, or more like directed. I don't think its safe though, at least not for those with childhood trauma and/or abuse issues. Maybe later in the process it would have been ok, but not 2nd session...If you think you might want that, just ask an analyst if they practice short-term, intensive psychodynamic therapy using methods like Davanloo - and you'll get manipulated. lol
My new T seems more like yours, in this aspect, he lets me lead the process. I think the creation of the safe bubble just progressed naturally. The presence was so incredibly strong and concrete though, that's why it seemed he had some kind of technique/plan to create it. Well I'm going to tell him about this next session, and see if he did it on purpose or if it just came naturally.
When T and I discovered my core issues recently, mainly with authority figures, he told me his very first thought in reaction to my insight was what happened with last T/PDoc. He knows him well, and when I presented this insight to new PDoc, he immediately connected this, and told me how my core issues totally explained my reaction to last T. Last T was very authoritive and despite, the manipulation, I perceived him as very protective in words and nature. There are other contextual issues with last T, my present T and I identified, such as my thoughts about some things i knew about him that led me to think he he had a strong ability to help me as my life was falling apart and last 3 psychiatrists did not help me, but that was the main thing.
I never thought he was modifying because of last experience, but that could be part of it. He did tell me he doesn't agree with old-school type of therapy though, and is self-disclosing in nature. But maybe he is lighter with me due to last experience. It's a really good alliance, though. I feel lucky to have him. I just hope it can work this way. I am so motivated to change, to overcome all my issues. I'm sick of not living to my potential. Last T certainly did speed up the process by being so agressive and blank screen. Just an intuitive feeling-I feel like it save a whole year. lol thanks
Posted by Phillipa on September 18, 2009, at 19:20:41
In reply to Re: T self disclosure and transference, posted by Garnet71 on September 12, 2009, at 11:42:54
I had two pdoc's that also did theraphy at sessions one at his house would see his wife and dog in his yard and he also revealed, Second one pdoc also his wife and Daughter used to come in for supper in between clients he also disclosed what ever I wanted to know. Loved them both. Wish this type of pdoc was still around. Phillipa
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