![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Looney Tunes on January 29, 2009, at 22:15:11
......and move on. Forget your past, only look forward?
Psychology says you replay behaviors and issues (like lack of trust) if you never developed correctly or if you were thrown off by trauma. Do you agree?
DO you think that you can actually grow, overcome issues through therapy, or would it be best to at some point, give up and try and get over it and accept your life as fate?
Posted by Dinah on January 29, 2009, at 22:22:14
In reply to Do you ever think you should 'Get Over It?'......, posted by Looney Tunes on January 29, 2009, at 22:15:11
> DO you think that you can actually grow, overcome issues through therapy, or would it be best to at some point, give up and try and get over it and accept your life as fate?
I'm not sure I understand. I don't think we should ever give up. I think there are things I'll likely never put behind me entirely. But I can understand their effects on my life today. And therapy helps me make the best life I can, given who I am and what I've experienced.
I'll probably always be sensitive and reactive to situations that remind me of childhood traumas. But I can learn to understand that and deal with it.
I have biological vulnerabilities I'll never get over either. Maybe if I'd started young to learn resilience... But at this point, I manage it. Like diabetes.
So my vote is neither?
Posted by antigua3 on January 30, 2009, at 6:52:06
In reply to Do you ever think you should 'Get Over It?'......, posted by Looney Tunes on January 29, 2009, at 22:15:11
All the time. Sometimes it's a defense mechansim on my part to escape therapy when somethig big is happenning, as if I can't stand one more minute of it.
I struggle with this issue a lot. I tend to ask myself, "Is this the best I can be, so should I just get over it and move on?"
for me, I think that point is coming.
We're wired to replay the behaviors until we discover new ways of coping, ways in which we come to count on our own internal resources to deal with the issues in a healthy manner. IMO, anyway, and it has worked for me. I also believe that the brain can be rewired to deal with traumatic issues, when healthy behavior is constantly rewarded internally.
So, yes, I've actually grown and overcome issues in therapy in ways I never thought possible, but I still believe that eventually I'll be on my own to deal w/things and won't need my T.
antigua
Posted by LadyBug on January 30, 2009, at 9:28:28
In reply to Do you ever think you should 'Get Over It?'......, posted by Looney Tunes on January 29, 2009, at 22:15:11
For me, I learned about myself, what my issues were and as time passed in therapy I learned how to recognize my thought process when something would come up that had to do with my childhood injuries. My T told me one time that the things I struggled with would pop up at any given time all throughout my life. When I started therapy I didn't know how to react to my issues so I fell apart. I mean totally fell apart to where I shut down and all I knew how to do was cry and worry. After time, things started to become more clear to me and when something came up that I struggled with I had the capacity to react differently.
Does this mean after 12 years of therapy I "got over it"? NO, I will always struggle with the same issues, but now I am much better at pulling myself to the other side of it. I get through it much better. Actually the past few years my T would tell me how much I had grown since I started working with her, there was no comparison in the person I was and the person I became! I'm still working on it everyday and I always will.
I don't think you can just "get over it". Unless you are in denial. It will remain inside until you choose to deal with it. My issue will rear it's ugly head from time to time. You can learn how to deal with things in a better way. At least I'm speaking for myself. I found when I wanted to give up, I knew I could go back to my old ways but I was determined to keep at it until I felt like I was doing better.
I had a lot of issues to deal with. I'm not perfect now nor am I all better, but I'm ok and that is good enough. Being ok is good enough.
Don't ever give up. Have hope in all things.
LadyBug
Posted by Phillipa on January 30, 2009, at 10:31:51
In reply to Re: Do you ever think you should 'Get Over It?'......, posted by LadyBug on January 30, 2009, at 9:28:28
Hence why not in theraphy anymore as the therapists said that is the past this is now look forward not backwards. But I wanted to deal with past issues. Guess they thought I was too old. Phillipa
Posted by rskontos on January 30, 2009, at 15:33:36
In reply to Do you ever think you should 'Get Over It?'......, posted by Looney Tunes on January 29, 2009, at 22:15:11
----all the damn time. I yearn to be "normal" but I know I am not. I am though glad to read all the other's post and to understand that however unnormal I think I am my 'stuff' is going to always be here so I should just try and deal with it.
I think i am just tired of it all you know.
but i do understand LT. I do. sigh
rsk
Posted by olivepit on January 30, 2009, at 22:55:54
In reply to Do you ever think you should 'Get Over It?'......, posted by Looney Tunes on January 29, 2009, at 22:15:11
> ......and move on. Forget your past, only look forward?
>Yes!! I am a strong believer in this. Its not easy, but when I ended up with a T that encouraged the present and future, I flourished. My previous T had me so depressed and stuck. My new philosophy is, the past is the past, and its gone I can ony control whats to come. Im not trying to downplay the past, but my life changed drastically when my T and the therapy focus changed.
Posted by seldomseen on January 31, 2009, at 10:55:48
In reply to Do you ever think you should 'Get Over It?'......, posted by Looney Tunes on January 29, 2009, at 22:15:11
Well, whatever happened in the past is done, obviously. I would also contend that there is no point dwelling on it. I would further add that I think it is very very easy to get "trapped" in the past and let it continue to be a lively, disruptive aspect of one's life.
However, I spent years not thinking about my past but that approach was not fruitful for me at all.
I think it's how we *use* our past that may either promote, or hinder forward thinking.
What I have learned is that my past is the most valuable tool I have in understanding my current behaviour, some of the choices I make, and my reactions to various things in my life.
However, if you should run across a way to forget about the past, please post it. That is something I would most definately be interested in.
Seldom
Posted by Dinah on January 31, 2009, at 11:36:35
In reply to Re: Do you ever think you should 'Get Over It?'...... » Looney Tunes, posted by seldomseen on January 31, 2009, at 10:55:48
> I think it's how we *use* our past that may either promote, or hinder forward thinking.
>
> What I have learned is that my past is the most valuable tool I have in understanding my current behaviour, some of the choices I make, and my reactions to various things in my life.Yes, this is what I meant to say!
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.