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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by MusicLuv on January 29, 2009, at 11:20:36
Hi all,
My T called me last night and said "Hey can you come in during the morning or afternoon tomorrow? I can't see you at 6. Something came up."
First of all, she knows I have an extremely busy full time job, and I struggle to even make it there by 6pm once a week. She's about 40 minutes away from my office. There is no way I can take a 2 hour break to see her during the day.
Second of all, this is the second appointment in 3 weeks that she's canceled, and we're right in the middle of getting through some major stuff.
Third... she did not say she was sorry, that she regretted it.. When I said "I'm sorry, I can't make it over there during the day." She said, 'Well we've missed a couple of sessions lately, but fine.' Like it was my fault.
My therapist is young (mid 30's) and she's always been very sweet and her and I get along great, for the most part. I think she's an amazing therapist, but at this point she just seems so apathetic. I'm not sure what to do. Can anyone relate to this?
Thanks for hearing me out.
~ MusicLuv
Posted by sharon7 on January 29, 2009, at 11:52:01
In reply to 'Can I change your appt? Something came up', posted by MusicLuv on January 29, 2009, at 11:20:36
Hi Musicluv. I would have felt/reacted the same way you did. I'm sorry to hear you're having trouble getting in to see the T you want to see at a time when you can see her. That makes it tough. T's need to be careful not to over extend themselves and/or offer their services for evening appts if they aren't going to be able to deliver. It sucks because you were starting to get into stuff and perhaps starting to get somewhere, but in the past 3 weeks, you've seen her once because she has to keep canceling. That you haven't been back in for a while is her fault, not yours. Im sure you told her from the very beginning you would need an evening appt. She apparently said she would make herself available but she's not, at least at the moment. How long have you been seeing her? I think it's unfortunate she isn't taking responsibility for the missed appointments or acknowledges how difficult it makes things for you as the client, but sounds like quite the opposite. Not even an apology? That would bother me, too.
I'm sorry you feel let down.
Posted by Dinah on January 29, 2009, at 12:10:37
In reply to 'Can I change your appt? Something came up', posted by MusicLuv on January 29, 2009, at 11:20:36
I think you should talk to her about it honestly and as nonconfrontationally as possible. Tell her how you feel when she fails to express regret or makes it sounds as if the lack of a session is due to you.
She may not be aware of the words she's using and the impression it gives, particularly if she was busy and distracted when she called.
If it's part of a greater problem with her apathy, you could mention that and ask how she is viewing therapy, the therapy relationship, and the remaining course of therapy.
I think if you otherwise find her helpful, it's worth trying to discuss these things openly.
Just my two cents, and easier said than done, I know. But it's what I find useful in my own therapy.
My therapist and I were discussing something from the past the other day. He came to the brilliant conclusion that something he used to habitually do would often result in clients leaving sooner than they might otherwise do. I reminded him that I told him at the time it was a problem, and he replied that no one else had complained. Just me. I told him that the others just hadn't said so, and he should appreciate my candor and listen to what I say since I am honest.
I'm sure he's not the only therapist who overlooks these things.
Posted by Phillipa on January 29, 2009, at 12:36:18
In reply to Re: 'Can I change your appt? Something came up', posted by Dinah on January 29, 2009, at 12:10:37
The one I used cancelled appointments frequently. It kind of hurt one of the reasons stopped going. Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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