Shown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by lemonaide on September 26, 2008, at 11:24:59
I believe that me T has helped me, but when he was at the top of his game, he isn't right now, for the last 3 months. I can't afford to slip up right now, I have been doing so much better. I feel getting to know other T's will be useful to me. I need somebody that puts in the same energy into the relationship. I still have fond feeling for my T, and I plan on telling him.
I think working with a female will also help me to trust women better, which if I do become a T, I will be working with more women than men. Soo I am going to go for it.
I have picked out my classes for next semester and I am so excited. One class is in criminal justice called deviant and criminal behavior, and another one is body language, and drugs and behavior. Plus that one internship I started with this summer but quit, has emailed me again wanting me to come back. That feels good, they said they believed me to be a good fit.So when I thought I was throwing everything away because of my depression, I have another chance.
This is all helping me feel more confident. I even want to to clean the house today because I feel good. I am going to make some chicken salad for lunches this weekend, and makes some banana bread with the old bananas we have, and make a crock pot meal for tonight when I won't feel like cooking after cleaning all day.
I guess for me it will be a fresh start toward me reaching my goals.
I know some feel I should fight for my relationship with my T, and I think I have a few times, and although he has helped me, I think he has helped me all he can. I am feeling good about my decision. I actually feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Posted by Partlycloudy on September 26, 2008, at 12:19:24
In reply to I think I am going to move on, posted by lemonaide on September 26, 2008, at 11:24:59
I think you're making the right decision for all the right reasons, Lemonaide. Going from strength to strength. Good for you. I get those energy bursts at home, too. I have been doing more creative cooking lately, hubby is happy about that. I enjoy working with my female T and feel that it's helped me learn to relate better with women, where I certainly wasn't raised in a nurturing, maternal household. We can assume these qualities as adults and without having to go through a difficult learning curve. I wish you luck.
Have a good weekend,
pc
Posted by Phillipa on September 26, 2008, at 13:34:55
In reply to Re: I think I am going to move on » lemonaide, posted by Partlycloudy on September 26, 2008, at 12:19:24
Lemonaide yes sounds like the right choice to me. I feel sorry for old T but as we all do at one point or another have to accept growing older. Hard but true. Now cooking no thank-you. Love Phillipa
Posted by Wittgensteinz on September 26, 2008, at 14:20:12
In reply to I think I am going to move on, posted by lemonaide on September 26, 2008, at 11:24:59
Good for you Lemonaide!
I'm sorry this has happened with your old T and that he has been so defensive and closed about his memory problems. It must be hard for him realising he is unable to work in the way he had been - it could mean the end of his career.
But this isn't your fault, and although you are fond of him, you are right to put your own care first. I think you have been courageous and brave to look the problem in the face and now move on. I'm glad you got what you did from seeing him. It's interesting you are now likely going to see a female T. How do you feel about this? It could be a very powerful and healing relationship - I really hope she turns out to be what you expect and hope for. I was adamant about having a male T because of my trust issues with woman. Even with a male I have great problems with trusting - perhaps one day I'll benefit from seeing a female.
Good luck with this all and with your next meeting with your current T - I hope that goes well.
Witti
Posted by muffled on September 26, 2008, at 15:42:08
In reply to I think I am going to move on, posted by lemonaide on September 26, 2008, at 11:24:59
I think you done right thing Ok.
Mebbe you can still say hi to T now and then hey?
Hope you OK.
Posted by Dinah on September 26, 2008, at 16:43:36
In reply to I think I am going to move on, posted by lemonaide on September 26, 2008, at 11:24:59
You'll always be able to bring the knowledge you've gained from him along with you. Not only the knowledge about yourself, but also the knowledge of what good therapy looks like.
I totally agree with those who said he was a really good match for you, before. But I also understand how different an experience therapy can be with the same therapist at different levels of functioning. It's like it isn't your therapist at all.
If things ever change with him, you can revisit the idea of approaching him to return.
Don't settle for less than a great therapist (or at least a good-enough one).
Posted by seldomseen on September 26, 2008, at 17:42:17
In reply to I think I am going to move on, posted by lemonaide on September 26, 2008, at 11:24:59
I'm so glad you feel better. In the end, it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, it's what *know* deep down that matters.
No one walks in your shoes but you baby.
I'm glad you are on an upswing and a making things happen to keep it that way.
I'm excited for you and this new beginning.
Seldom
Posted by lemonaide on September 27, 2008, at 19:37:20
In reply to Re: I think I am going to move on » lemonaide, posted by Partlycloudy on September 26, 2008, at 12:19:24
Thank you PC for all your on going support, it sure is nice to have you on the boards again. I didn't have the maternal influenc (well a good one) either growing up, so maybe this will help some in ways I don't even know yet. I still feel good about my decision today, so that usually is a good sign that I made a good one.
Posted by lemonaide on September 27, 2008, at 19:43:00
In reply to Re: I think I am going to move on, posted by Phillipa on September 26, 2008, at 13:34:55
Hi Phillipa,
Well I got only one room thoroughly clean to Martha's standards. lol And I boiled the chicken but my daughter made the chicken salad and banana muffins. But the crock pot meal was really good. Gotta love the crock pot especially with liners where you don't have to clean the pot! So.... I still get more tired than before so even I am getting older. lol (or more lazier)
Posted by lemonaide on September 27, 2008, at 20:00:34
In reply to Re: I think I am going to move on » lemonaide, posted by Wittgensteinz on September 26, 2008, at 14:20:12
Thank you so much for your validation , it feels like I am doing something right amidst all of the struggling I have been going through. He told my at our last appointment where I confronted him very emotionally about this that he would never forgot this session for the rest of his life. So I am not sure what exactly what he won't forgot, because he was so stubborn, and it covered the entire session. There was such silence after I cried out that I have been just waiting for him to come back.
I am not sure why I am going to see a women T. I know she does EMDR, and the other T's in town I either know or they are my professors. She is around my age or younger, just a MSW, under supervision of the T who I wanted to go to at first. That T was very confident of her, and after I talked to her, she seems to really get my issues. Her energy is something I like.
On her website I see that she does speeches and stuff for different group against violence for women and children.
I guess Witty you will see what happens if you stick around Babble. My first appointment is on Thurs, I had to change it from MOnday.
Posted by lemonaide on September 27, 2008, at 20:05:01
In reply to yup, you a smart one OK!!! » lemonaide, posted by muffled on September 26, 2008, at 15:42:08
I will probably miss my T, I mean it is the first time I have ever received unconditional positive regard from anyone in my life, like what a parent should give a child, but mine didn't. In a way that part in me healed even when I didn't know it was missing in my life.
I am okay , Muffy, thank so much for your support. I know you wondered if I was running away, but actually I feel more committed than ever to working out my issues.
Posted by lemonaide on September 27, 2008, at 20:10:09
In reply to Re: I think I am going to move on » lemonaide, posted by Dinah on September 26, 2008, at 16:43:36
Thanks DInah,
I know you know what if feels like when your T changes, I think I would have a harder time leaving if it was the amount of time you had with your T before Katrina. He was the perfect thing I needed after my first T,and I will never forgot all the stuff he has done for me. I plan on writing him a letter sometimes this week letting him know what I am doing and to say thank you for everything. Maybe I should do this in person, I don't know if I could without it hurting so much to face him.
Posted by lemonaide on September 27, 2008, at 20:10:56
In reply to Re: I think I am going to move on, posted by lemonaide on September 27, 2008, at 20:10:09
Posted by lemonaide on September 27, 2008, at 20:12:56
In reply to Re: I think I am going to move on » lemonaide, posted by seldomseen on September 26, 2008, at 17:42:17
Thanks Seldom,
You post made me smile, baby! ;-) Yeah, it feels good to take charge of a difficult situation and to do what is best for me. It is kinda empowering and I feel excited.
Posted by lemonaide on September 27, 2008, at 20:14:50
In reply to Re: I think I am going to move on, posted by lemonaide on September 27, 2008, at 20:12:56
This is the end of the thread.
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