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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by obsidian on July 7, 2008, at 21:17:31
I truly expect no reply to this post, but I really must do something with my self loathing lest I carry it around in my already overtaxed psyche
I'm anxious going out
anxious at work
anxious about people
anxious at night
anxious in the morning
anxious in the afternoon
anxious at lunch
anxious with my coworkers
anxious about talking
anxious about keeping silent
anxious about speaking up
anxious about keeping things to myself
anxious about what I said
anxious about what I didn't say
anxious right now
anxious about having children (maybe)
anxious about not having children
anxious about getting married??
anxious about not getting married
anxious about keeping my job
anxious about leaving my job
anxious being around people
anxious about being boring to be around
anxious about making everything all about me
anxious about not moving
anxious about wanting to move
anxious about the lack of people in my life this week...my best friend and my therapist are both away, and this is not the week I see my pdoc
who will I report my misery to?? I ask you?! who?!
(I am half laughing at that last one)
anxious about bodily functions
anxious about lack of bodily functions
anxious about doing nothing
anxious doing something
anxious about who I am
anxious about who I'm not
anxious about being ignored
anxious about not being invisible
anxious about going nowhere
anxious about there perhaps not being anywhere to go
anxious....
Anxious: full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried;
Posted by Lucie Lu on July 7, 2008, at 21:35:00
In reply to I am an anxiety ridden freak...., posted by obsidian on July 7, 2008, at 21:17:31
Posted by Lucie Lu on July 7, 2008, at 22:20:11
In reply to I am an anxiety ridden freak...., posted by obsidian on July 7, 2008, at 21:17:31
Seems to me that the major message was located in the middle... that you feel alone (and anxious?) because you won't see your T, pdoc, or best friend this week. That's a lot of significant people in your life to be away at the same time. I often have trouble under similar circumstances. We of course are here for you. How's the rest of your support system? Are there other people you can hang with or talk to this week?-Lucie
p.s. I do like the acronym ARF!
Posted by Lucie Lu on July 7, 2008, at 22:22:24
In reply to I am an anxiety ridden freak...., posted by obsidian on July 7, 2008, at 21:17:31
Posted by muffled on July 8, 2008, at 0:20:52
In reply to Seriously... » obsidian, posted by Lucie Lu on July 7, 2008, at 22:20:11
Posted by muffled on July 8, 2008, at 0:22:37
In reply to I am an anxiety ridden freak...., posted by obsidian on July 7, 2008, at 21:17:31
word that started this thing anyways!!!
Laughter is a good stress releiver.
I hope you can chill some Sid.
Take care,
M
Posted by obsidian on July 8, 2008, at 18:57:46
In reply to or...hmmm f*rt! or...what WAS the orignal, posted by muffled on July 8, 2008, at 0:22:37
will try to chill,
thanks :-)
nice to see you muffs
Posted by obsidian on July 8, 2008, at 19:09:02
In reply to Seriously... » obsidian, posted by Lucie Lu on July 7, 2008, at 22:20:11
yeah, I suppose...
I do have some folks to talk to.
It's an old story for me, I generally feel overwhelmed.
The meds turn down the magnitude of it all a bit, but I sometimes don't feel like I can function.
I do though, most of the time.
Thanks for the support.
ARF!!
-sid
Posted by obsidian on July 8, 2008, at 20:22:56
In reply to And you seem pretty cool to me :) (nm) » obsidian, posted by Lucie Lu on July 7, 2008, at 22:22:24
thanks lucie, you are very kind :-)
I don't know why...and excuse me for sharing this random thought, but your screen name reminds me of "Xena the Warrior Princess"- you know, Lucy Lawless
You aren't dressed in leather, leaping over barbarians and screaming a battle cry....are you??-sid the freakish
ps please don't go changing your name!
Posted by Sigismund on July 8, 2008, at 22:48:14
In reply to I am an anxiety ridden freak...., posted by obsidian on July 7, 2008, at 21:17:31
That sounds somewhat promising.
You could read Kierkegaard,and watch lots of depressing and brilliant 70s movies when you're not watching PBS.
Posted by obsidian on July 8, 2008, at 23:01:35
In reply to Re: I am an anxiety ridden freak.... » obsidian, posted by Sigismund on July 8, 2008, at 22:48:14
promising?? alright then, I'll go with that
as far as 70's movies go
someone recommended this one to me yesterday...
"Network", made in 1976
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074958/ever see it?
any recommendations??while I'm not watching PBS?? lol, I'm afraid that for me PBS conjures up the feeling one experiences while watching paint dry (not to make generalizations there- maybe it was all the pledge drives with all the free tote bags)
Posted by Sigismund on July 8, 2008, at 23:29:12
In reply to Re: I am an anxiety ridden freak.... » Sigismund, posted by obsidian on July 8, 2008, at 23:01:35
Yep
"The Exterminating Angel" by Luis Bunuel. It's about these people who can't leave a room even though there is nothing to stop them, which sounds really silly, but I loved it. Very funny, in a bleak kind of way.
Posted by llurpsienoodle on July 11, 2008, at 15:34:29
In reply to Re: I am an anxiety ridden freak...., posted by Sigismund on July 8, 2008, at 23:29:12
Sid, how are you doing, my favorite non-freaky igneous rock?
better? worse? less freaky?
sincerely,
-Ll
(who is a big fan of pledge drives)
Posted by Sigismund on July 11, 2008, at 16:00:29
In reply to Re: I am an anxiety ridden freak...., posted by llurpsienoodle on July 11, 2008, at 15:34:29
Hi Lurps
I went for a lovely walk yesterday with someone from university 30 years ago.We sat up on a rock a thousand feet above the valley with the rim of the caldera clearly visible in an arc on the horizon.
As I get older I lose the energy neccessary to maintain the volume of mental anxiety and chatter, and I can more easily just look at the colours knowing that this magical life is fleeting.
Apparently what follows was written as some kind of expression of contempt for Hegel's dialectic. What Sid posted brought it to mind.
>Marry, and you will regret it. Do not marry, and you will also regret it. Marry or do not marry, you will regret it either way. Whether you marry or you do not marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the stupidities of the world, and you will regret it; weep over them, and you will also regret it. Laugh at the stupidities of the world or weep over them, you will regret it either way. Whether you laugh at the stupidities of the world or you weep over them, you will regret it either way. Trust a girl, and you will regret it. Do not trust her, and you will also regret it. Hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret it either way. Whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret it either way. This, gentlemen, is the quintessence of all the wisdom of life.
Quite copacetic.
Posted by obsidian on July 11, 2008, at 23:15:05
In reply to Re: I am an anxiety ridden freak...., posted by llurpsienoodle on July 11, 2008, at 15:34:29
I am torturing myself with self loathing and thoughts of all the ways I screw up at the moment.
Other than that...I am ok ;-).How are you lurps?
May the sun always shine upon you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May your life be filled with pledge drive tote bags (a freakish blessing)
-sid
Posted by obsidian on July 11, 2008, at 23:25:47
In reply to Re: I am an anxiety ridden freak...., posted by Sigismund on July 11, 2008, at 16:00:29
I try to keep in mind, and sometimes I really believe it
that to a large extent, people are doing the best they can, at any given time, according to what they know and their experienceit is this thought that allows me to forgive myself for some things
some things you just can't know, and you can only learn after the fact
I sometimes try to tell myself that I can't wait until things are certain, and I know absolutely everything, because then I would never do anythingbut mostly I just feel like an idiot, unprepared, stumbling around, f*ck*ng things up, missing the obvious, feeling incompetent
I wish I didn't care
Posted by Sigismund on July 12, 2008, at 0:06:05
In reply to Re: I am an anxiety ridden freak...., posted by obsidian on July 11, 2008, at 23:25:47
>but mostly I just feel like an idiot, unprepared, stumbling around, f*ck*ng things up, missing the obvious, feeling incompetent
You didn't design this world.
You just landed in it.I often get really sick of myself, but it occurred to me that if I was someone else I would get sick of that too.
I need to forget about myself, free myself from it.>I wish I didn't care
I'm suggesting you shouldn't.
We suffer from a radical overvaluation of consciousness and an underestimation of other aspects of life.
Posted by Sigismund on July 12, 2008, at 0:08:39
In reply to Re: I am an anxiety ridden freak.... » Sigismund, posted by obsidian on July 8, 2008, at 23:01:35
What is PBS?
Is that like the Jim Lehrer show?
I only mentioned it because you had before somewhere else (as a possible cause of depression perhaps).
Posted by obsidian on July 12, 2008, at 0:19:12
In reply to BTW » obsidian, posted by Sigismund on July 12, 2008, at 0:08:39
public broadcasting service
Posted by llurpsienoodle on July 13, 2008, at 16:52:01
In reply to Re: I am an anxiety ridden freak.... » llurpsienoodle, posted by obsidian on July 11, 2008, at 23:15:05
Aww, sid you are a sweetie
I am a freakish blessing indeed :)-Ll
> How are you lurps?
> May the sun always shine upon you,
> May the wind be always at your back,
> May your life be filled with pledge drive tote bags (a freakish blessing)
> -sid
Posted by chiron on July 16, 2008, at 17:41:35
In reply to Re: I am an anxiety ridden freak...., posted by obsidian on July 11, 2008, at 23:25:47
sorry about all of your anxiety. how long has it been that way? anxiety sucks.
my anxiety has calmed down with drugs (have you tried any), but I still have a MAJOR issue that sounds like the ones you said about: anxiety of doing nothing, anxiety about doing something. It is so CONFLICTING. (which sounds like most of yours). I don't feel like doing anything, but I freak out if I'm not- lonely, empty.
This is the end of the thread.
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