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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Raindancer on January 7, 2008, at 19:53:11
Why is it that sometimes I feel really close to my T and at other times, for no obvious reason I feel a thousand miles away from him and think that he just sees me as 'work.' I have been seeing him for eight years and love him dearly (he knows this). I see him every 3-4 weeks and miss him so much that it upsets me for quite a time afterwards, until it's a week or so away from the next session, when I start looking forward again.
Wishing all Babblers a very good 2008, thanks for being there.Hugs. Rain
Posted by muffled on January 8, 2008, at 10:53:08
In reply to Nothing to be done....., posted by Raindancer on January 7, 2008, at 19:53:11
> Why is it that sometimes I feel really close to my T and at other times, for no obvious reason I feel a thousand miles away from him and think that he just sees me as 'work.' I have been seeing him for eight years and love him dearly (he knows this). I see him every 3-4 weeks and miss him so much that it upsets me for quite a time afterwards, until it's a week or so away from the next session, when I start looking forward again.
>
> Wishing all Babblers a very good 2008, thanks for being there.Hugs. Rain*Thx rain.
Have you asked T bout this?
I srtuggle w/T relationship too.
Its so weird.
Hope it gets easier for you.
M
Posted by Raindancer on January 8, 2008, at 18:06:30
In reply to Maybe talk bout it?Thats what my T always says... » Raindancer, posted by muffled on January 8, 2008, at 10:53:08
Thanks Muffly. I talk to him about it quite a lot and on the whole he's pretty good, but he just doesn't understand the emptiness I feel when he's not around, although he accepts it. I've been pretty down lately and I always feel worse then and don't believe that he really cares. This doesn't happen so much when I feel better, but I can't see a time when I don't miss him badly. Thank you so much just for being you Muffly, you're great and so understanding.
Posted by JoniS on January 8, 2008, at 21:26:36
In reply to Nothing to be done....., posted by Raindancer on January 7, 2008, at 19:53:11
Rain
I really struggle with this too. How do we manage it?
Happy 2008 to you too!
Joni
Posted by muffled on January 9, 2008, at 23:55:39
In reply to Re: Maybe talk bout it?Thats what my T always says » muffled, posted by Raindancer on January 8, 2008, at 18:06:30
This seems to be a common thing.
This missing of T's.
What do you think it is we miss?
Is it a feeling of safety?
Or just that there is a person in the world that understands us?
I dunno.
I always feel so silly, when after appt I miss T so much.
I don't understand it really.
Sigh...
M
Posted by sunnydays on January 10, 2008, at 12:35:33
In reply to Missing our T's badly, posted by muffled on January 9, 2008, at 23:55:39
I wish I knew muffled... My T and I have talked about this. To some degree it is missing that feeling of having a place that is totally and completely safe. Where else do you have a person whose job it is to listen to you and pay their full attention to you and who is accepting of everything you bring into the room? On another level for me is the missing of something I never had. But that probably doesn't apply to everyone. But it does feel like there is something else, too.
sunnydays
Posted by Raindancer on January 10, 2008, at 18:08:18
In reply to Re: Nothing to be done..... » Raindancer, posted by JoniS on January 8, 2008, at 21:26:36
Thanks Joni. I tend to live day to day or at least three weekses to three weekses - the first day is the worst. Later I get into some routine, easier when there is less time to go. The pain of missing him is there whether the session was good or not. If a good session the emptiness is worse, if a bad one, I am devastated as there are three weeks or so before I can hope to put things right. It's really good to know I'm not alone in feeling like this.
I always love your posts; it feels like you are a really good friend to have. Take care. Rain
Posted by Raindancer on January 10, 2008, at 18:22:44
In reply to Missing our T's badly, posted by muffled on January 9, 2008, at 23:55:39
I think you've hit it there Muffly. I think it's being with someone who understands us, in a place where for a while the world outside ceases to exist and we feel safe and cared about and accepted for the person we are and some of our hurts are healed. I used to hide in books when I was young (I still do now) and in a way I think being with T is a bit like some of those fairy stories, where I long for a happy ending.
Thanks for being there Muffly - you are a wise person and give so much. Rain
Posted by antigua3 on January 13, 2008, at 7:12:17
In reply to Nothing to be done....., posted by Raindancer on January 7, 2008, at 19:53:11
Can you see him more frequently? I find holding some things for that length of time just way too painful, and I told my pdoc, so we're going to try an every other week schedule for a while.
Is that a possibility at all? Or can you call him once during this time to check in and let him know you're feeling so badly?
antigua
Posted by Raindancer on January 15, 2008, at 18:18:03
In reply to Re: Nothing to be done....., posted by antigua3 on January 13, 2008, at 7:12:17
Thanks for replying Antigua. I would love to see him more often, but I simply can't afford it at the moment. Also I do settle for a while betweentimes but get very jittery before and after sessions, so in a way it's a good thing otherwise I feel I might be in a constant state of nervousness, or perhaps it might be easier....? There is an unwritten rule that we don't check in unless it's for a change of time or something or in a dire emergency, so in a way my pride won't let me. Even with him, I hate to show weakness. Some time ago I was able to hold him between sessions, but now I don't seem able to and feel hurt and abandoned and as if he couldn't care a hoot. Thanks again, and hope you are doing well.
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