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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 26. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by llurpsienoodle on January 8, 2008, at 0:15:09
The perfect storm is gathering
T is going to be out due to surgery (he did not elaborate what or when, besides "several weeks from now"
H is going on business trip for 2.5 weeks.
Ll has pdoc appt. stable for 3 mos, she will attempt to cut back on psych meds.
boo poor me.
-Ll
Posted by ClearSkies on January 8, 2008, at 7:52:24
In reply to T surgery and h out of town and drug withdrawal, posted by llurpsienoodle on January 8, 2008, at 0:15:09
> Ll has pdoc appt. stable for 3 mos, she will attempt to cut back on psych meds.
>
> boo poor me.
>
> -LlUm, why would you plan to cut back on psych meds when those other two things were going on - I would think you'd want to be able to rely on the medication for support when you need it? Otherwise, you might be setting yourself up for that perfect storm? Timing *is* everything. Maybe plan the medication cut back when your T is back from surgery AND your H is back from his trip?
Just an idea, and maybe a bad one at that. But really, Llurpsie, there is no shame in being on the meds if they are helping you - that's the whole idea of them. And if you cut back just to crash and have to get back on, then it's a sign that they're required when you you need them.
CS
Posted by llurpsienoodle on January 8, 2008, at 8:02:13
In reply to Re: T surgery and h out of town and drug withdrawa » llurpsienoodle, posted by ClearSkies on January 8, 2008, at 7:52:24
hi CS
I guess the reason why I wanna go offa the drugs is because I've wanted to go offa them (some of them at least) for the last few mos. except I had a setback.But I did really well on my trip, I think...
what to do what to do?
-Ll
Posted by JoniS on January 8, 2008, at 8:29:20
In reply to T surgery and h out of town and drug withdrawal, posted by llurpsienoodle on January 8, 2008, at 0:15:09
Ll
I feel your pain / anxiety. Here's a recommendation: No matter how far off that "perfect storm" is, start preparing for it NOW. Talk about it, talk about it, talk about it. Even though you care for your T, you may also have some negative feelings toward him for begin unavailable for a while.
I hope it doesn't turn out to be a "perfect storm" for you.
Unfortunately, "perfect storm" is a pretty accurate statement for me right now.
Joni
Posted by JoniS on January 8, 2008, at 8:33:35
In reply to Re: T surgery and h out of town and drug withdrawa » ClearSkies, posted by llurpsienoodle on January 8, 2008, at 8:02:13
Ll
Dont go off the meds. I am on my full dose, and even before I read your post I was thinking to myself... "are my meds not working at all?..."
I am sorry to be such a downer. Everyone is different and your experience could be completely different from mine.
I am glad that you did well on your trip. That is probably a good sign that you will manage well when he is away.
Joni
Posted by Dinah on January 8, 2008, at 9:10:27
In reply to Re: T surgery and h out of town and drug withdrawa » ClearSkies, posted by llurpsienoodle on January 8, 2008, at 8:02:13
My therapist says that people often see doing well as a sign that it's time to stop doing the very things that have them doing well.
You're doing well on medications. That's great. But it's not necessarily a sign that it's time to stop the medications. It might mean that you're doing very well on medications.
And if you have a choice on the timing, why not wait until everything else is back to normalish?
However, I'm no expert. What does your therapist and pdoc say?
Posted by muffled on January 8, 2008, at 10:51:20
In reply to Re: T surgery and h out of town and drug withdrawa » llurpsienoodle, posted by Dinah on January 8, 2008, at 9:10:27
LL, I agree with what those other guys said.
If you MUST go off meds, can you make it like a riduculously insanely SLOW SLOW taper????
Sorta fool yourself that you comming off them, and in fact you ARE, but very very very slowly?
I think you need to recognize...oh ya...here they come....NICEYS!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccckkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!
But recognize that you CAN and have in the past gotten thru some very challenging stuff.
Moving, switching T's, hubby troubles, new info bout your history etc etc. You have been absolutely BOMBARDED (apparently this is my word of the day...?!) with STUFF, and SURVIVED.
You are such a good client. Eating well, drinking your teas, doing all the things you need to get well and stay safe. YOU LLurpy have done these things!!!! This is true!
So maybe instead of saying there WILL be a storm and freaking some, maybe you can say something more along the lines of....This may well be a challenge, but I am tougher than I give myself credit for, I know what I need to do, and I will take care of myself over this next period of time. I WILL cope. I CAN cope. And I know what to do, and I know how to recognize, when things are sliding, and so take appropriate actions.
Mebbe this has been a big annoying sermon.
But it is truth.
OK.
Annoying Muff'll go now.
Take care,
M
Posted by Phillipa on January 8, 2008, at 12:20:12
In reply to Re: T surgery and h out of town and drug withdrawa » llurpsienoodle, posted by ClearSkies on January 8, 2008, at 7:52:24
Lurpsie I skipped over the whole thread will go back and read but Clear Skies is so very right. I hope you take her adivise it's really good. I agree too. Love Phillipa
Posted by MidnightBlue on January 8, 2008, at 15:56:10
In reply to Re: T surgery and h out of town and drug withdrawa » ClearSkies, posted by llurpsienoodle on January 8, 2008, at 8:02:13
LL,
Just be glad you are stable right now. I don't think it is the time to make big changes. Wait until your T is back and at his best at least.
MB
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 8, 2008, at 16:24:55
In reply to Re: T surgery and h out of town and drug withdrawal » llurpsienoodle, posted by JoniS on January 8, 2008, at 8:29:20
> Ll
>
> I feel your pain / anxiety. Here's a recommendation: No matter how far off that "perfect storm" is, start preparing for it NOW. Talk about it, talk about it, talk about it. Even though you care for your T, you may also have some negative feelings toward him for begin unavailable for a while.
>(((joni))) I'm sorry you're hurting right now. I hope that today brought a glimmer of relief?
I don't know exactly when the surgery is, or how long he'll be out. my guess is prostate, back, knee surgery?
> I hope it doesn't turn out to be a "perfect storm" for you.
>
> Unfortunately, "perfect storm" is a pretty accurate statement for me right now.
>
> JoniI may very well be catastrophizing. I'm good at coming up with the worst case scenario...
-Ll
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 8, 2008, at 16:30:53
In reply to Re: T surgery and h out of town and drug withdrawa » llurpsienoodle, posted by Dinah on January 8, 2008, at 9:10:27
> My therapist says that people often see doing well as a sign that it's time to stop doing the very things that have them doing well.
you're probably right. your T too...
>
> You're doing well on medications. That's great. But it's not necessarily a sign that it's time to stop the medications. It might mean that you're doing very well on medications.(insert whiny voice) but I don't wanna be on meds indefinitely...
>
> And if you have a choice on the timing, why not wait until everything else is back to normalish?
>I wonder whether this is one of those crises that I am manufacturing so that I'll have some excuse to go crazy? It's about time for the anniversary of the big D.
> However, I'm no expert. What does your therapist and pdoc say?
pdoc wanted to start tapering last november, but i had this psychotic/dissociative episode and we ended up upping my abilify and adding zyprexa prn. goody.
T thinks I'm ready to start tapering down the meds, even starting last fall. I think he and I are planning on using exercise as a proxy for some of the mood stabilizing drugs, perhaps the lamictal?
I haven't discussed timing of surgery and stuff. I just happened to bring it up in session and observed a shadow crossing T's face, and upon probing him found out about the surgery. i don't think he was ready to tell anybody (haha I tricked him using T-trix)
-Ll
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 8, 2008, at 16:40:10
In reply to Re: T surgery and h out of town and drug withdrawa » Dinah, posted by muffled on January 8, 2008, at 10:51:20
> LL, I agree with what those other guys said.
> If you MUST go off meds, can you make it like a riduculously insanely SLOW SLOW taper????
> Sorta fool yourself that you comming off them, and in fact you ARE, but very very very slowly?that's a very sound idea. I think that T and pdoc would agree with you. Llurp just wants to jump in headfirst (i.e. nosedive)
> I think you need to recognize...oh ya...here they come....NICEYS!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccckkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!
echo- No no no no no!
> But recognize that you CAN and have in the past gotten thru some very challenging stuff.
> Moving, switching T's, hubby troubles, new info bout your history etc etc. You have been absolutely BOMBARDED (apparently this is my word of the day...?!) with STUFF, and SURVIVED.aw shucks
> You are such a good client. Eating well, drinking your teas, doing all the things you need to get well and stay safe. YOU LLurpy have done these things!!!! This is true!
I'm drinking osmanthus oolong that I bought in China even as I type this. I try HARD to be a good client. I try so hard to get help when I need it and be tough when I need to be tough.
> So maybe instead of saying there WILL be a storm and freaking some, maybe you can say something more along the lines of....This may well be a challenge, but I am tougher than I give myself credit for, I know what I need to do, and I will take care of myself over this next period of time.
repetition: I have been stable on meds for several months now. There may be some meds that I will continue to take everyday for a while. There may be some meds that I can take prn. I may have to replace medication with lifestyle changes like exercising and vitamins. I am prepared to do that. I am prepared to continue to see T twice a week if it makes it easier to function. Life is a challenge (1st noble truth- life is suffering) there is no easy way outta most of life. I am no different from any other struggler out there. I am no more precious or less precious. I am no stronger or weaker. I just AM.
>I WILL cope. I CAN cope. And I know what to do, and I know how to recognize, when things are sliding, and so take appropriate actions.
LlurpsieList
put pdoc's number in telephone. Ask if it's okay to make an extra appt if I'm feeling poorly. Alert h to signs that I'm going bonkers and tell him what he can do to get me to help myself> Mebbe this has been a big annoying sermon.
> But it is truth.
> OK.
> Annoying Muff'll go now.
> Take care,
> M
>(((((((((muff)))))))))
this isn't the first nicey post you wrote me today. gosh. I'm gonna start tearing up. :')
I will try SO hard to accept it, if only because I respect you so much
-ll
Posted by JoniS on January 8, 2008, at 16:49:21
In reply to Re: T surgery and h out of town and drug withdrawa » Dinah, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 8, 2008, at 16:30:53
"T trix" thats good. Also (insert whiny voice here) I should have used that on my post above.
just wanted to say FYI - Lamictal is ONE of my meds.
-- Babble sherriff - this is not a meds post, because it is part of therapy discussions with therapy "T" Babblers :-)
Joni
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 8, 2008, at 17:11:07
In reply to Re: T surgery and ... » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by JoniS on January 8, 2008, at 16:49:21
> "T trix" thats good. Also (insert whiny voice here) I should have used that on my post above.
>
> just wanted to say FYI - Lamictal is ONE of my meds.oh me too... I got some serious polypharmacy going on. zoloft, abilify, lamictal, klonopin, xanax, zyprexa, sonata. the last 3 are prn, though.
>
> -- Babble sherriff - this is not a meds post, because it is part of therapy discussions with therapy "T" Babblers :-)
>
> Joniwell, the general theme is that T may not be there at the time when I may be under pharmaceutical stress...
-Ll
((((((((((((t)))))))))))p.s. you're not whiny!
Posted by MissK on January 8, 2008, at 18:30:48
In reply to Re: T surgery and ... » JoniS, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 8, 2008, at 17:11:07
> I got some serious polypharmacy going on. zoloft, abilify, lamictal, klonopin, xanax, zyprexa, sonata. the last 3 are prn, though.
Well, I am going to go against the other advice. If you can get off some medication, I say go for it. The ideal is the least amount of medication possible. You can always have the meds on hand and go back on full force if you need.
Hope it works out and that your T will have a speedy recovery. Enjoy the alone time while hubby is away to do some extra nice things for yourself/what you enjoy, and of course there is always Babble.
(Miss K ...formerly lovelorn if you've not seen the Admin page lately)
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 8, 2008, at 18:49:20
In reply to Re: T surgery and ..., posted by MissK on January 8, 2008, at 18:30:48
> > I got some serious polypharmacy going on. zoloft, abilify, lamictal, klonopin, xanax, zyprexa, sonata. the last 3 are prn, though.
>
> Well, I am going to go against the other advice. If you can get off some medication, I say go for it. The ideal is the least amount of medication possible. You can always have the meds on hand and go back on full force if you need.
>
> Hope it works out and that your T will have a speedy recovery. Enjoy the alone time while hubby is away to do some extra nice things for yourself/what you enjoy, and of course there is always Babble.
>
> (Miss K ...formerly lovelorn if you've not seen the Admin page lately)thanks for your thoughtful reply. unfortunately by changing your name I can no longer impersonate you by signing off as "ll"
lol.
trust me-- you don't wanna be impersonating ME!
-Ll
:)
Posted by muffled on January 9, 2008, at 23:51:57
In reply to Re: T surgery and ... » MissK, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 8, 2008, at 18:49:20
Hope all is well for you.
Or as well as can be.
((( LL )))
M
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 10, 2008, at 7:48:32
In reply to How you doin ? » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by muffled on January 9, 2008, at 23:51:57
I see T today and will try to get the timeline sorted out.
work is really stressful.
h hasn't talked to me in 24 hours
i don't even know where to begin. if he won't talk to me, how can I get it figured out in therapy?
thank you for your caring. you are such a caring soul ((((muffled))))
-Ll
p.s. trying to stay upbeat. went and exercised this am. lots of caffeine.
Posted by muffled on January 10, 2008, at 11:16:39
In reply to Re: How you doin ? » muffled, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 10, 2008, at 7:48:32
> I see T today and will try to get the timeline sorted out.
*Good.
> work is really stressful.*Not so good :-(
Do you have support thru work for your work?
> h hasn't talked to me in 24 hours*??? He seems to get a little fussy from time to time. This is starting to seem like a trend. Maybe just leave him alone and he will talk when ready???? Maybe comming back home was a challenge for him too? Dunno.
> i don't even know where to begin. if he won't talk to me, how can I get it figured out in therapy?*Like I said, mebbe just give him space? Hard for me to say cuz I truly got no clue wassup w/you guys. I just throwing this out there. I just know that sometimes I need my space.
> thank you for your caring. you are such a caring soul ((((muffled))))*((( LL )))
> p.s. trying to stay upbeat. went and exercised this am. lots of caffeine.*well that sounds really good.
Your a good egg Lurps.
Remember to breathe.
M
Posted by MidnightBlue on January 10, 2008, at 11:17:23
In reply to Re: How you doin ? » muffled, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 10, 2008, at 7:48:32
LL,
Tell hubby sorry, but not talking is not allowed! A 24 hour pout is way too long!
An old married lady,
MB
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 11, 2008, at 8:09:43
In reply to Re: How you doin ? » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by MidnightBlue on January 10, 2008, at 11:17:23
> LL,
>
> Tell hubby sorry, but not talking is not allowed! A 24 hour pout is way too long!
>
> An old married lady,
>
> MBthis one is bad MB. we got things sorted out but then it started again when i suggested counselling. i feel so hopeless.
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 11, 2008, at 13:36:03
In reply to Re: T surgery and ... » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by JoniS on January 8, 2008, at 16:49:21
I was shocked and appalled that he told me what his procedure was and the way he said it.
I asked him when he was going to be out of commission. he looked confused. I reminded him "your surgery...?"
"oh, I won't be out of commission. I'll just have a sore *ssh*l*"
"WHOA!!! WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION"
[backpedalling]
"it's just a minor outpatient surgery for hemorrhoids."
"[silently] WTF is he TELLING me this for?"
*********
then he assured me that he'd be there for me. indeed the time when he'll be out is during the time when H is away. not that I give a flying f*ck that h is going away. but still... he told me several times that he can still talk to me if things are going badly (((((t))))) I'm starting to feel like he's really there for me.In the end, I'm only missing one session. not too bad, huh?
(((((t))))) even if he DId gross the hell outta me.
-Ll
Posted by MidnightBlue on January 11, 2008, at 14:45:28
In reply to ugh T told me his surgery **triggers**, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 11, 2008, at 13:36:03
LL,
At least you will know that his squirming in his chair or making faces is not related to what you are saying! :-)
MB
Posted by MidnightBlue on January 11, 2008, at 14:52:28
In reply to Re: How you doin ? » MidnightBlue, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 11, 2008, at 8:09:43
LL a couple of "generic" questions. Don't answer if you don't want to.
Do you live near his folks, your folks, or near no folks? Do you feel safe in this location? Do you feel you are building a support system there? I know you haven't lived there long.
How long have you been married? And have the "rules" changed since you first got married? By that I mean one wants kids now the other doesn't, one thought cultural differences was no big thing now it is?
Why no counseling? Is he afraid that is "your turf" because of your degree? Really just trying to be helpful and help you sort this out.
The old married lady,
MidnightBlue
P.S. all marriages hit rough patches
Posted by Bodhisattva on January 11, 2008, at 15:16:42
In reply to ugh T told me his surgery **triggers**, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 11, 2008, at 13:36:03
Couldn't help but laugh on that...
come on, that's funny - YOUR DOC'S BUTT IS BROKEN!
I don't know if I could keep a straight face if he was sitting there on one of those little inflatable donuts...He may have grossed you out. But at least he's open about it. That's a pretty personal procedure and I think he's telling you to maintain an open line of communication. He doesn't want anything hidden between you. And if you are expected to share everything, then he probably should too.
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