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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on September 18, 2007, at 10:21:51
Last night when I showed up to jazz band rehearsal, the new director asked me if I had a flugelhorn, I said no, but I could probably get one. Well he said he wants to feature me on this solo either this semester or next.
Normally I would so flattered, it was something that my old band director wouldn't do in high school. He was a trumpet player, and instead of encouragement, he competed against me because he played in the jazz band on the top part. So this like a dream for me, and I am kinda surprised, I am not a music major, so I don't feel I am that good really. I am not sure why he picked me. But anyways, I am freaking out because of my last solo, he knows about that solo and he tried to convince me it wasn't that bad, and he feels I can do this. But is on the flugelhorn, which I don't own, plus there is a part improv. solo. Well I am more of a classical musican, not a jazz one, so I am feeling intimidated by this. There are other old players with more experience than me that could do a nicer job. The director said not to get all worried. Well I am not confinced. ekkk! I feel like a duck out of water.
Posted by Honore on September 18, 2007, at 13:07:47
In reply to I am anxious, and I need my T's help, posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on September 18, 2007, at 10:21:51
You can do it, HF. Just get back into the water-- all you have to do is jump in.
Your music director wouldn't have chosen you if he didn't believe in you and know you could do it.
It's a great opportunity to work on these issues. I know it's incredibly scary, but you know-- if you never got the chance to do a solo, you wouldn't learn how to do it. Everyone (or amost) has stagefright-- it's just learning how to deal with it, and be okay. And you will be.
I suspect you didn't do badly at all-- even if it wasn't up to your expectations. Everyone makes mistakes during performances-- I can promise you-- and you just go on, as if it never happened. Most of the time, the audience doesn't think it's a mistake at all-- they just assume it's part of the program-- or the music-- as long as you seem okay.
It's great that you've been chosen. And your T will be there, and help you to make progress. When's your next appointment?
Honore
Posted by LadyBug on September 18, 2007, at 14:11:09
In reply to Re: I am anxious, and I need my T's help, posted by Honore on September 18, 2007, at 13:07:47
It sounds to me like an opportunity for you to streach and grow past some fear and gain some confidence in doing so. I'd be afraid too. But the choice is yours. I think you'd be great. Talk to your T about it next time you see him.
LadyBug
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on September 18, 2007, at 18:26:55
In reply to I am anxious, and I need my T's help, posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on September 18, 2007, at 10:21:51
I don't believe I have low selfesteem, but I don't have high self esteem, so it there a mid?
Today I went in to see my writing teacher, as she suggested for all her students. Well I finished my 1st draft, and I wanted to see what I could do to make it better. As she read it, started to make some small sugestions. Then she said, you know I am going to harder on your paper than normal, because you write very well. She said if you were to have turned this in as a final draft, you would have received a very good grade. I thinking, really?. So she said it is her job to push me to do my best work, even if my starting work in the class is excellent already. She said she likes how I use words, and put my sentences together, and the gift of writing to really convey emotions and feelings into a reader. I was shocked, really.
I know I am not a bad writer, but I didn't think I was that good either. I have been told I was good, but I always wondered if there were alternative motives in saying that. Trust issues, eh?
I love writing creative writing, but essays and research papers intimidate me, so many rules to follow. I told her this, and she said I have nothing to worry about.
So in the past 2 days, I have someone who wants to feature me on a solo, and then someone tell me I am a gifted writer. I really am surprised by all of this.
I guess it would make a good topic in therapy. While growing up, I didn't have someone to push me to do my best, if I didn't do it myself or a teacher encouraged it, I just did what I could to get by with a C.I always knew I could do better, but because of my mother's jelously, I didn't want he to think I was trying to be a smart *ss, that always got me in trouble because she had to "bring me down" to a lower level than her. It was always better if I just stayed at that lower level, then have her do it.
I guessI am not used to excelling, and having others see it, it is just weird to me.
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on September 18, 2007, at 18:32:02
In reply to Re: I am anxious, and I need my T's help, posted by Honore on September 18, 2007, at 13:07:47
Hi Honore,
As ususal, you are so on target! I know what you are saying is probably true. It is so hard to get back into the water, or back on the horse again.
I see my T on Monday, so I hope he can help. I am seeing him weekly, which I like. I know he wants to get into trauma work, and I guess a part of how I feel goes back to childhood stuff. I just wish it was easier, you know?
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on September 18, 2007, at 18:34:36
In reply to Re: I am anxious, and I need my T's help, posted by LadyBug on September 18, 2007, at 14:11:09
Hi Ladybug,
Yikes! stretching and growing! EKKKK! lol
I will try to talk to my T on Monday. I really wish I had more confidence in playing. I wish I knew how to do that. Thanks Ladybug.
How's it going for you?
Posted by muffled on September 18, 2007, at 23:09:39
In reply to Re: I am anxious, and I need my T's help » LadyBug, posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on September 18, 2007, at 18:34:36
Ah, HF you'll do great,
or mediorcre!!! LOL!
But really I think you'll do fine and it'll be a good experience.
A little anxiety will get the adrenalin flowing and heighten your senses for the ultimate performance!
Go kiddo and enjoy.
M
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on September 19, 2007, at 16:22:21
In reply to Re: I am anxious, and I need my T's help » Happyflower 1 :-), posted by muffled on September 18, 2007, at 23:09:39
>
> A little anxiety will get the adrenalin flowing and heighten your senses for the ultimate performance!
Good poem muffy! ;-)
> Go kiddo and enjoy.
> M
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