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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by All Done on March 15, 2007, at 2:00:09
I know I always post when something's wrong or I need help, so instead...
Tonight, I was talking with my T about how I feel so very unimportant to him and so many other people. He's told me before that I am important to him and he repeated it again today. He was telling me how I bring a lot of insight and I'm always very genuine. But it's different than that. I want to be important in a different way, not so clinical. When I said that, he said, "you've said you want to know that I love you". Bingo. But I was quiet and then instead asked if there's anything about me that's different from all his other clients. He said "yes"...pause...then with a grin..."I have to stop. We're out of time." I told him that was evil, we laughed, and then he told me in the voice he uses when he wants me to know he's serious, "I adore you, Laurie."
I should have shut up, but instead I said something about there having to be other clients he feels that way about. He shrugged - kind of like "I don't know about that." I rambled some more about not feeling adored by anyone except my son, n, who has the same name as my T. I said maybe it's my lot in life to be adored by the "n"s of the world. And then finally...finally, I shut up and said, "thank you."
It was nice, though. His words stuck with me all the way home and I'm guessing I might even be able to hang onto them until my next session. One can only hope, right? ;-)
Posted by annierose on March 15, 2007, at 5:53:37
In reply to Something good for a change, posted by All Done on March 15, 2007, at 2:00:09
Very sweet - yes, you must hold onto that feeling. Filing it in your heart under "moments and feelings to always remember".
I feel adored by my son whose name starts with a "n" too --- it's a special feeling that type of love and attention. Do you want another child?
Posted by JoniS on March 15, 2007, at 7:19:20
In reply to Something good for a change, posted by All Done on March 15, 2007, at 2:00:09
That is so awesome! "I adore you..." That must have made you feel so good. You must hold on to that. I'm happy for you, but also a little envious. My T would never tell me that. I know he cares, but I guess it's against his philosopy to let his clients believe one is more special to him than another. I'm not sure why he doesn't express more. Sounds like you have a very sensitive T :-)
Posted by Fallsfall on March 15, 2007, at 7:38:56
In reply to Something good for a change, posted by All Done on March 15, 2007, at 2:00:09
"I adore you" How perfect. How sweet.
Hang on to that.
Posted by Dinah on March 15, 2007, at 8:52:41
In reply to Something good for a change, posted by All Done on March 15, 2007, at 2:00:09
That *is* wonderful. I tell my therapist that I adore him, but he'd never reciprocate.
We spent part of last session idly talking about what he's learned over the years from various sources were ways to express himself that were ok as a therapist and ways that weren't.
I think I was thinking about retaliation when I said something like I knew that, and told of Sunnydays experience and how tender it sounded, and how I'd said that tender wasn't in his repertoire. And his startle told me I'd hit home. (evil grin)
You must indeed be a very special client.
But I must say that you are very adore-able. Your thoughtfulness and concern for others shines through even if I hadn't met you in person.
Hold on to that lovely memory. (And don't forget to bookmark this page, or write down the experience in a diary or something that you can look back on when needed).
Posted by Honore on March 15, 2007, at 10:02:10
In reply to Re: Something good for a change » All Done, posted by Dinah on March 15, 2007, at 8:52:41
That's a great appointment. I guess it *is* your fate to be adored by the n's of the world. Not such a bad fate.
I feel as if we should have a celebration!
Honore
Posted by Iwillsurvive on March 15, 2007, at 21:28:43
In reply to Re: Something good for a change, posted by Honore on March 15, 2007, at 10:02:10
My son is an N too!!!
That was such a sweet post, thank you for that.
I hope it sinks in and warms your heart.
I kiss my son on the top of his head, then I clamp my hand on it B4 he can brush off the kiss,(he's a boy, hates kisses, or pretends to anyways)
if I can manage to cover the kiss for a full 10 seconds B4 he brushes it(the kiss) off, ITS PERMANENT!!! and that kiss will stay with him forever.
Kinda fun.
I hope your T's words are there forever too :)
Take care
Posted by sunnydays on March 15, 2007, at 21:34:12
In reply to Re: Something good for a change » All Done, posted by Dinah on March 15, 2007, at 8:52:41
Now I'm curious.... what did you say? :)
sunnydays
P.S. Sometimes a little retaliation is in order...
Posted by sunnydays on March 15, 2007, at 21:36:11
In reply to Something good for a change, posted by All Done on March 15, 2007, at 2:00:09
Awwww. That's so sweet. I'm so glad your T said that. Try to let yourself believe he means it. He does, you know. He used that voice that means he's serious. My therapist has that voice. Last session he told me something three or four times in that voice - I could tell it was super important that I remember it. Keep that thought close to your heart. He adores you. And it's all about you.
sunnydays
Posted by 10derHeart on March 15, 2007, at 22:45:50
In reply to Something good for a change, posted by All Done on March 15, 2007, at 2:00:09
Laurie, that's beautiful. I love it when people post things like this.
And it's not so much of a change - you don't post only 'bad' things! :-)
I would faint or something if my T. said that. I don't think it's an impossibility, but pretty unlikely. You two clearly have a warm and awesome relationship - it's so great, isn't it?
Now you can make yourself smile any time by replaying that moment in your mind.
Posted by All Done on March 16, 2007, at 1:11:45
In reply to Re: Something good for a change » All Done, posted by annierose on March 15, 2007, at 5:53:37
> Very sweet - yes, you must hold onto that feeling. Filing it in your heart under "moments and feelings to always remember".
So far so good with hanging onto the warm fuzzies I got.
> I feel adored by my son whose name starts with a "n" too --- it's a special feeling that type of love and attention. Do you want another child?Hmm...good question. If you know the answer, could you let me know? ;)
Sometimes we think we want another child and sometimes we think we're really happy just the way we are. So, for now, we're going with the theory that if we're not sure, we should leave things as is until we are sure.
Posted by All Done on March 16, 2007, at 1:15:53
In reply to Re: Something good for a change, posted by JoniS on March 15, 2007, at 7:19:20
> That is so awesome! "I adore you..." That must have made you feel so good. You must hold on to that. I'm happy for you, but also a little envious. My T would never tell me that. I know he cares, but I guess it's against his philosopy to let his clients believe one is more special to him than another. I'm not sure why he doesn't express more. Sounds like you have a very sensitive T :-)
Thanks, Joni. It really did make me feel good.
There are a lot of other ways he lets me know how much he cares. I just have to remember to accept his words and actions as genuine care. Sometimes, it's hard to let myself feel worthy of the good stuff.
Does your T have other ways he makes you feel cared for?
Laurie
Posted by All Done on March 16, 2007, at 1:17:22
In reply to Re: Something good for a change » All Done, posted by Fallsfall on March 15, 2007, at 7:38:56
> "I adore you" How perfect. How sweet.
>
> Hang on to that.Thanks, falls. I'm hanging on so far. :)
Posted by All Done on March 16, 2007, at 1:27:58
In reply to Re: Something good for a change » All Done, posted by Dinah on March 15, 2007, at 8:52:41
> That *is* wonderful. I tell my therapist that I adore him, but he'd never reciprocate.
>
> We spent part of last session idly talking about what he's learned over the years from various sources were ways to express himself that were ok as a therapist and ways that weren't.
>
> I think I was thinking about retaliation when I said something like I knew that, and told of Sunnydays experience and how tender it sounded, and how I'd said that tender wasn't in his repertoire. And his startle told me I'd hit home. (evil grin)Did he tell you what ways he *is* comfortable expressing himself? I imagine you know him well enough to already know at least some of them. :)
> You must indeed be a very special client.
>
> But I must say that you are very adore-able. Your thoughtfulness and concern for others shines through even if I hadn't met you in person.
>
> Hold on to that lovely memory. (And don't forget to bookmark this page, or write down the experience in a diary or something that you can look back on when needed).Thanks, Dinah. You are really sweet and kind.
I'm going to hold onto your words as much as his. Good therapists are a treasure and so are good friends. (((Dinah)))
Posted by All Done on March 16, 2007, at 1:29:45
In reply to Re: Something good for a change, posted by Honore on March 15, 2007, at 10:02:10
> That's a great appointment. I guess it *is* your fate to be adored by the n's of the world. Not such a bad fate.
I completely agree with that. :)
> I feel as if we should have a celebration!
>
> HonoreWell, I know we just had a birthday party yesterday, but I'm of the opinion that there can never be too much cake!
Posted by All Done on March 16, 2007, at 1:36:53
In reply to Re: Something good for a change-:-), posted by Iwillsurvive on March 15, 2007, at 21:28:43
> My son is an N too!!!
Wow! N is such a popular name these days! ;)
> That was such a sweet post, thank you for that.
> I hope it sinks in and warms your heart.It really does give me a warm feeling when I think about it. I wish you guys could have heard it, too.
> I kiss my son on the top of his head, then I clamp my hand on it B4 he can brush off the kiss,(he's a boy, hates kisses, or pretends to anyways)
> if I can manage to cover the kiss for a full 10 seconds B4 he brushes it(the kiss) off, ITS PERMANENT!!! and that kiss will stay with him forever.
> Kinda fun.That sounds so nice! It's so important to have that kind of stuff with our kids. For both them and us, I think.
Right now, my n has decided I can't kiss him at school. He's four and a half. Well, sometimes he lets me sneak one in on his cheek. At home is another story. He can't seem to get enough of me. Everyone has been telling me for years to cherish that because he's going to stop being so cuddly "soon". I'm taking their advice, but I keep making him promise that he'll always hug me. ;)
> I hope your T's words are there forever too :)
> Take careThanks, IWS. You take care, too. Very gentle care.
Laurie
Posted by All Done on March 16, 2007, at 1:41:47
In reply to Re: Something good for a change » All Done, posted by sunnydays on March 15, 2007, at 21:36:11
> Awwww. That's so sweet. I'm so glad your T said that. Try to let yourself believe he means it. He does, you know. He used that voice that means he's serious. My therapist has that voice. Last session he told me something three or four times in that voice - I could tell it was super important that I remember it. Keep that thought close to your heart. He adores you. And it's all about you.
>
> sunnydaysThanks, sunnydays. I so loved your post about your T. Thank you for sharing that.
I am keeping this close to my heart. The thing is, the more I think about it, the more my heart feels like it's going to burst...in a strangely good way, if that makes any sense.
Posted by All Done on March 16, 2007, at 1:47:12
In reply to Re: Something good for a change » All Done, posted by 10derHeart on March 15, 2007, at 22:45:50
> Laurie, that's beautiful. I love it when people post things like this.
>
> And it's not so much of a change - you don't post only 'bad' things! :-)I'm glad you liked the post. I wonder sometimes if it might hurt some people to read this kind of thing. But...I feel bad for "only" posting bad things, too. I just can't win with myself, huh?
> I would faint or something if my T. said that. I don't think it's an impossibility, but pretty unlikely. You two clearly have a warm and awesome relationship - it's so great, isn't it?
It is. We've worked almost four years to get to this point, but it really is nice.
> Now you can make yourself smile any time by replaying that moment in your mind.I feel like a dork when I'm smiling for what appears to be no reason, but that's okay. :)
Posted by All Done on March 16, 2007, at 1:48:29
In reply to Something good for a change, posted by All Done on March 15, 2007, at 2:00:09
Thanks for letting me share! :)
Posted by 10derHeart on March 16, 2007, at 8:23:51
In reply to Re: Something good for a change » 10derHeart, posted by All Done on March 16, 2007, at 1:47:12
This is the end of the thread.
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