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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by antigua on January 11, 2007, at 17:27:03
Has anyone consciously reintegrated one of his or her little people? I did yesterday and it hurt physically--I couldn't make the shakes go away. Anyone else?
antigua
Posted by muffled on January 11, 2007, at 17:52:02
In reply to Reintegration, posted by antigua on January 11, 2007, at 17:27:03
I have not. sorry Antigua.
How on earth do you do that?
Not sure how you mean?
It sounds harsh.
Was it a cooperative thing? Was it forced? All were agreed to this happening?
I have a little one that I want to make go away forever. I have tried. I know thats mean but I dunno what else to do with her. NOone like her.
Sometimes my people just are 'gone'. I dunno where they go, its very strange. My head is totally quiet. I don't really like it. I'm always glad when they come back, cuz then I feel, I dunno. I just glad they back.
So sorry it was hard for you.
Would you be able to say more about it when you feel a little better?
I'm very curious bout it.
My T uses the I word. Noboddy likes it. Bad word.
Noone ready for that.
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by Scentedgarden on January 11, 2007, at 19:41:51
In reply to Reintegration, posted by antigua on January 11, 2007, at 17:27:03
> Has anyone consciously reintegrated one of his or her little people?
>>>do u mean ur inner child?
I did yesterday and it hurt physically--
>>>>how did u do it?
I couldn't make the shakes go away.
>>>>what did it feel like ..? did u sleep...?to stop shaking..?
Anyone else?
>>>>i wd like to be able to stop talking like baby when im alone.. but i dnt know how...to put her into my adult...unlike muffled i dnt like my adult...but i cant let people see my baby child or they will hurt her..
>>>>>does that make sense?
>>sorry i cant help u much at all, but im interested in listening to you...
> antigua
>>>regards
scentedgarden
>
>
Posted by antigua on January 12, 2007, at 10:57:17
In reply to Re: Reintegration... plz tell how did u do it.. ?? » antigua, posted by Scentedgarden on January 11, 2007, at 19:41:51
Well, my T and I discussed the word Termination on our first visit back from the holiday since I have been handling things so well. I saw my pdoc and his comment, "Well, don't let the little girl be in charge, You are!" sent the little girl scrambling into hiding, with all of our power. I was annoyed that my pdoc had say this--he's a pharmo guy and I guess CBT; he doesn't have much compassion for inner children and all that. He said my mind would use every defense possible, have crises, etc. than break that tie with my T. It was a defense mechanism he said. he made some sense.
Well, after talking to my T about what the pdoc had say, she disagreed (of course) and said the little girl certainly was to play a role; she couldn't just be pushed out of the picture or I'd be back to where I started, not listening to her.
So later that day I was laying down, trying to take a nap and I started to shiver and shake. It was cold in my room, but nothing like this. It went on for about 30 mins or an hour. I never fell asleep, but before I got up I realized the little girl was inside of me now, with all of her angst, fear and power. I've kept telling her that I can take care of her, but right now she really has the upper hand and I'm scared.
I don't know how it happened, but I know it did. I think I liked it better when I thought of her as a separate person because now I can feel her constant pain.
antigua
Posted by muffled on January 12, 2007, at 11:27:38
In reply to Re: Reintegration... plz tell how did u do it.. ??, posted by antigua on January 12, 2007, at 10:57:17
> Well, my T and I discussed the word Termination on our first visit back from the holiday since I have been handling things so well.
**ouch :(
>I was annoyed that my pdoc had say this--he's a pharmo guy and I guess CBT; he doesn't have much compassion for inner children and all that. He said my mind would use every defense possible, have crises, etc. than break that tie with my T. It was a defense mechanism he said. he made some sense.
**Seems a littl einsensitive of him, but as you say he proly just don't get it. My T don't either really, but she is very wiiling to learn to understand.
The thing bout spazzing etc to save T relationship totally make sense to me.
Thats why HOW you terminate is so important I think. For me I think it will likely be VERY important that I am able to have SOME sort of connection w/my T. Fortunately, this will be possible. I am not as split as you. But I think my T has this thing where she expects my people to go away or SOMEthing, I dunno, I kinda blank out when she starts talking bout that kinda stuff. But my thot is, that it would be much easier on the one kid if I maintained some sort of connection w/T, so the kid could know she is there and its OK.
>
> Well, after talking to my T about what the pdoc had say, she disagreed (of course) and said the little girl certainly was to play a role; she couldn't just be pushed out of the picture or I'd be back to where I started, not listening to her.**Good for your T ! Thats what I say. These people should not be shoved away. I wouldn't want to be shoved away. Who says I here am more important than any other? My experience that I am working on is that we all need each other, we got diff strengths, diff 'stuff'. We used to each other.
>
> So later that day I was laying down, trying to take a nap and I started to shiver and shake. It was cold in my room, but nothing like this. It went on for about 30 mins or an hour. I never fell asleep, but before I got up I realized the little girl was inside of me now, with all of her angst, fear and power. I've kept telling her that I can take care of her, but right now she really has the upper hand and I'm scared.**See, my people have been inside all the time. So maybe its a sign of progress that she inside now?
I LIKE (mostly) that my people are there inside. Sometimes they go away and its too weird.
I dunno your experience, but mine is that, yes, my little one can cause ALOT of upset and trouble as a result of her strong emots, but mostly everybody hates her :( , so we kinda mostly ignore her. Which isn't helpful....
I dunno, I guess the thing is, that I would think that mebbe partly it must be shocking and scarey to directly feel her emots...and the initial impact may be challenging...but I think you will be OK.
Sorry this is rambling. I just know it must be hard.
Keep posting, working with that kid, I think its gonna be a good thing in the end.
But I not sure if this is the time for termination really?
And I don't think you doing this necc just for show.
I think mebbe you taking a big step forward.
And thats good.
>
> I don't know how it happened, but I know it did. I think I liked it better when I thought of her as a separate person because now I can feel her constant pain.
> antigua**Like I said, I suspect this is a good thing.
You will get used to her feelings and they won't be as scarey. You can learn to contain them until you and your T have a chance to work on them.
I say this with such confidence.....
I'm sorry, but I struggle terribly at times with one of my kids...
But it does seem to mostly pass at times and I have peace for awhile.
Take care
Muffled
Posted by antigua on January 12, 2007, at 12:03:52
In reply to Re: Reintegration... plz tell how did u do it.. ?? » antigua, posted by muffled on January 12, 2007, at 11:27:38
"But I not sure if this is the time for termination really?"
**oh no, we've just started talkin about it--next year maybe"And I don't think you doing this necc just for show."
sorry, but what does this mean? I don't understand.
antigua
Posted by muffled on January 12, 2007, at 14:29:16
In reply to Re: Reintegration... plz tell how did u do it.. ??, posted by antigua on January 12, 2007, at 12:03:52
> "But I not sure if this is the time for termination really?"
> **oh no, we've just started talkin about it--next year maybe
>
> "And I don't think you doing this necc just for show."
> sorry, but what does this mean? I don't understand.
> antiguaOh I'm glad of that. Termination is freaky to me.
Sorry I was just referring back to what p-doc was saying.
I tend to freak out lots of times when I feel like my T is going to be away from me. Its not 'show', thats a poor word, proly better to say would be 'in reaction to' mebbe?
I get a bad response cuz part of me just freaks to lose her I guess.....
I get awfully confused sometimes.
Take care,
Hope you feeling a bit better some,
Muffled
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