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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Karolina on January 8, 2007, at 23:51:14
I see my T Friday but it’s like I just want to be prepared for it or something. I know I’ve already mentioned all the intense staring stuff and comments he give that sometimes confuse me…but I think I want to discuss some of my feelings regarding those things – with him. In example, do you think telling him that I’ve caught him staring down at my chest before would make him mad and get defensive?
Because I don’t want him to be angry with me. I guess it’s just aggravating when he tries to say he feels neutral about everything, like he did last time. it’s like I almost want to ‘call him on it’, by pointing out ‘yea well then why do you stare at me (as well as my shoes, my chest, etc)??’ or is this a case of paranoia and we should instead talk about how I am over-paranoid around people? AHH IM SO FRUSTRATED!
I wish I wasn’t attracted to him.
I wish he wasn’t so attractive.
Sorry for bringing all of this up so much = (
-Karolina-
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 9, 2007, at 0:38:51
In reply to would this make him mad?, posted by Karolina on January 8, 2007, at 23:51:14
Hi...Could you maybe tell him using I statements something like "Sometimes I feel like I see you looking down my top AND it makes me feel _______ " Could you maybe say it when he does it like..."I just thought I saw you....." It's like Dr Bob talk IRL and may help in more than one way ..One he would not feel accused I would hope and two ....he would then know you have seen him do it and to stop or explain
Good luck
> I see my T Friday but it’s like I just want to be prepared for it or something. I know I’ve already mentioned all the intense staring stuff and comments he give that sometimes confuse me…but I think I want to discuss some of my feelings regarding those things – with him. In example, do you think telling him that I’ve caught him staring down at my chest before would make him mad and get defensive?
>
> Because I don’t want him to be angry with me. I guess it’s just aggravating when he tries to say he feels neutral about everything, like he did last time. it’s like I almost want to ‘call him on it’, by pointing out ‘yea well then why do you stare at me (as well as my shoes, my chest, etc)??’ or is this a case of paranoia and we should instead talk about how I am over-paranoid around people? AHH IM SO FRUSTRATED!
>
> I wish I wasn’t attracted to him.
>
> I wish he wasn’t so attractive.
>
> Sorry for bringing all of this up so much = (
>
> -Karolina-
Posted by wishingstar on January 9, 2007, at 9:51:33
In reply to would this make him mad?, posted by Karolina on January 8, 2007, at 23:51:14
I agree with Fallen's comment. I'd definitely make a clear statement that you HAVE noticed it, but couple it with a statement about how it feels. I think if you come out and just say "you're doing it" yes, he's just going to get defensive and dive right for his therapist box of tricks. But if you do both at once, it eases the burden on him a little, giving him a little wiggle room as far as where to go with it, but not so much that he can get out of talking about it completely, you know?
This is a hard situation. Good luck.
Posted by muffled on January 9, 2007, at 21:53:23
In reply to would this make him mad?, posted by Karolina on January 8, 2007, at 23:51:14
Well, noboddy ever looks at MY chest...sigh....oh well...!
But anyways, mebbe you could do the old bring in the babble posts thing?
I just think that there seems to be alot of ?? in the air, and if you want to do good therapy with this man, it proly needs to be dealt with...
I have a female T and I dunno what its like for you, but it sure sounds difficult.
Hope you can somehow work this out.
Take care, good luck,
Muffled
Posted by Karolina on January 10, 2007, at 21:58:54
In reply to would this make him mad?, posted by Karolina on January 8, 2007, at 23:51:14
Thanks Fallen4myT, wishingstar and muffled...
That's a good idea to say it like that instead of directly stating that I've seen him do it. If I said it like that, it would probably feel pretty acusatory from his perspective the more I think about it.
Wishingstar - when you mentioned the 'therapist's bag of tricks' I totally understand that because my T is like a freaking magician with his 'tricks'. It seems like he can turn questions around on me so easily, be able to change the subject without me realizing it, and think very quick on his feet. I guess they learn some of that stuff in training...oh well.
Thanks yall for the comments
-Karolina-
This is the end of the thread.
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