Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 692203

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Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigger**

Posted by gardenergirl on October 5, 2006, at 20:11:49

End of the month is the end of therapy for me. At least for now...continuing on along the journey, etc. only without my partner in the process.

[hubby just came in and said, "Are you crying?" and gave me a very sweet hug. I'm so lucky.]

Ya know, when we decided this earlier this summer, it felt right. It was pretty exciting, though scary. but I felt ready. Eager, almost.

Now, I feel as regressed as I've ever been. Feels so wrong. Scary as hell. And so damn hard. I fear that all I'll do during my last session is just sit there and sob.

I think it's hard for him at least some, too, though. When I said something like, "It's not exactly like you'll go 'poof!' and cease to exist when I'm done. You'll still be here." (I was relating feeling bittersweet about my dad's recent visit, worrying that it could be the last time I ever see him for some reason to ending therapy). My T had a sort of startled reaction to me saying that about "poof!". Unusual for him. The next words out of his mouth were about how there was now a consulting pdoc at the health center, and he'd refer me if I was interested.

I couldn't help but wonder if that would be a way for me to still come in periodically, even after termination. And I don't know if that would be so that I could still "see" my T--as in make sure he really didn't "poof!", or if maybe it is so he could see me occasionally and reassure himself that I'm still okay. Probably the former. It was very odd, though. He's had quite a few non sequitur type response lately. Very strange.

He's said on more than one occasion, though, that termination is hard on the T, too, and that's why so many don't give it the time and work it deserves. And he's the one that said, "Termination is sucky."

sigh

So bittersweet.

So damned terrifying.

So that's what's been going on with me all summer.

How 'bout them Tigers?

&-l

gg

 

Re: Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigg » gardenergirl

Posted by Dinah on October 5, 2006, at 21:05:57

In reply to Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigger**, posted by gardenergirl on October 5, 2006, at 20:11:49

Here's one of those occasions where I don't think my input can be all that helpful. Because my input is something like "Eeeeeeeeek!!!!!!"

But...

I think the timing of your therapist comments really do indicate that this isn't easy for him either. And maybe that makes it a bit better?

 

Re: Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigg

Posted by Phillipa on October 5, 2006, at 21:52:33

In reply to Re: Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigg » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on October 5, 2006, at 21:05:57

Now if I can find a good therapist. Do you think it will help? So far the ones I've had want to do it their way. I need desperatedly to explore my past and put to rest so many things. Love Phillipa

 

Re: Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigger** » gardenergirl

Posted by annierose on October 5, 2006, at 22:21:47

In reply to Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigger**, posted by gardenergirl on October 5, 2006, at 20:11:49

Sucks would sum it up for both parties. My T often uses the expression that it's "bittersweet for both of us". Not sure that is much comfort though.

According to Grey's Anatomy tonight (new favorite, must see TV), "There's a reason we feel pain." --- is it so we know we're alive?

Tonight in yoga the teacher said, "Do you ever feel that you keep getting in the way of yourself?" I laughed out loud (no one else did). But I knew exactly what she was talking about.

He will be there if you decide you need him. This is a giant stepping stone but it does sound that you are getting splashed in the face now and then. I'm sorry it's been a hard summer.

But yes, HECK YES --- now we got ourselves a series!! GO GO GO GO TIGGGGGGGGGGGGEERRRRRRRRRRS!

 

Re: Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigger** » annierose

Posted by Daisym on October 5, 2006, at 22:34:25

In reply to Re: Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigger** » gardenergirl, posted by annierose on October 5, 2006, at 22:21:47

I'm simultaneously jealous and terrified.

Jealous because I so want to be ready to not need therapy like I do.

Terrified because I'm not sure I'll ever not need it.

Your therapist has always been one of my favorites - and he continues to impress me with his candor. I'm sure it is especially hard on him because 1) you are such a likeable person, 2) he doesn't usually get to spend so much time with one client in a University setting. So I think he surely has his own grief.

And you have yours. Try to remember that you have the immense gift of using what you've learned from him with your own clients. So there will be lots of reasons to call him up in your mind and hear his words in your ear as you work. What a special connection to have.

I wish things were easier all the way around for you.

love and hugs,
Daisy

 

Re: Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigg » Daisym

Posted by Dinah on October 6, 2006, at 8:14:42

In reply to Re: Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigger** » annierose, posted by Daisym on October 5, 2006, at 22:34:25

> So there will be lots of reasons to call him up in your mind and hear his words in your ear as you work. What a special connection to have.

Synchronicity, Daisy. :)

My therapist said just about exactly those words to me Tuesday in relationship to the discussion of what would happen if anything happened to him.

 

Re: Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigg » Dinah

Posted by Daisym on October 6, 2006, at 17:18:39

In reply to Re: Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigg » Daisym, posted by Dinah on October 6, 2006, at 8:14:42

Weird how the world works, isn't it?

I had a meeting with my son's therapist yesterday and he said, "I don't really have to talk anymore. He jumps in with my words before I can even get them out." :)

Therapist permanance at work...

 

Re: Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigger** » gardenergirl

Posted by Fallsfall on October 6, 2006, at 17:41:49

In reply to Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigger**, posted by gardenergirl on October 5, 2006, at 20:11:49

Wow. I'm proud of you. And it does sound like he'll miss you, too.

(((GG)))

 

Re: Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigger** » gardenergirl

Posted by tofuemmy on October 7, 2006, at 20:29:38

In reply to Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigger**, posted by gardenergirl on October 5, 2006, at 20:11:49

I totally feel for you....owie. Big hugs for you. Em

 

Thanks everyone. It's hard to post about this

Posted by gardenergirl on October 11, 2006, at 21:29:01

In reply to Re: Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigger** » gardenergirl, posted by tofuemmy on October 7, 2006, at 20:29:38

I've read all your posts. A few times, actually. It's hard to talk about, though.

Monday he said he will miss me too. A precious precious moment I'll always treasure.

I'm sure there will be more to say. It's just hard to talk about without sobbing. Gotta set some limits on that if I want to function.

Trying to think of something to give him, too. That's tough.

gg

 

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((GG)))))))))))))) (nm) » gardenergirl

Posted by muffled on October 11, 2006, at 22:33:56

In reply to Thanks everyone. It's hard to post about this, posted by gardenergirl on October 11, 2006, at 21:29:01

 

Re: Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigger** » gardenergirl

Posted by canadagirl on October 13, 2006, at 8:02:43

In reply to Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigger**, posted by gardenergirl on October 5, 2006, at 20:11:49

"Enjoy" every minute that you have left with him, sounds like you had a great relationship -- and maybe write down beforehand what your heart really wants to say in these last sessions...and keep your notes with you to refer to so you really do say what you want/need to. I found that to be quite helpful in my own experience. good luck.

 

Thanks muffled » muffled

Posted by gardenergirl on October 14, 2006, at 23:51:17

In reply to ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((GG)))))))))))))) (nm) » gardenergirl, posted by muffled on October 11, 2006, at 22:33:56

You are a dear.

 

3 left ** termination trigger**** » canadagirl

Posted by gardenergirl on October 14, 2006, at 23:54:35

In reply to Re: Oh and btw only 4 sessions left with T **trigger** » gardenergirl, posted by canadagirl on October 13, 2006, at 8:02:43

> "Enjoy" every minute that you have left with him, sounds like you had a great relationship -- and maybe write down beforehand what your heart really wants to say in these last sessions...and keep your notes with you to refer to so you really do say what you want/need to. I found that to be quite helpful in my own experience. good luck.

That's really good advice, thanks. You know, it sort of does feel a bit like enjoyment, at least amid the tears and "suckiness" of it. But the last couple of sessions have included moments sort of like a warm and touching acknowledgement between us--acknowledgement and honoring the experience.

It's so darned bittersweet.

Thanks again, and I'd love to hear more about your experience if you feel comfortable talking about it.

gg

 

Re: 3 left ** termination trigger**** » gardenergirl

Posted by canadagirl on October 15, 2006, at 14:36:24

In reply to 3 left ** termination trigger**** » canadagirl, posted by gardenergirl on October 14, 2006, at 23:54:35

>>Thanks again, and I'd love to hear more about your experience if you feel comfortable talking about it.<<

Sure.
I think for termination to be "successful" we have to allow ourselves the opportunity to process it as much as we can with our therapist and more importantly, give ourselves permission to really feel the feelings, to use them up as much as we can.

I like what you say about "honoring" the experience - that is a good choice of words. You have truly shared something special, something you each have not shared with anyone else in quite the same way, if you think about it. And that relationship should be honored.

From my experience - after temination I did still feel for a while some sadness for the loss of someone helpful and important in my life (which is perfectly normal), combined with peace and gratitude for all I'd learned and how I'd grown. The feeling of loss did subside though.

I had very brief counselling once previously and when I finished therapy this time I was determined to terminate "right" as I had such a hard time with it last time. I made sure to say what I needed to say and how I felt about the whole experience (and wrote notes to myself often in between sessions as I thought of things). And trusted my heart a little -- so unlike me.

I guess I'm living proof that one can actually survive termination and come out the other end relatively intact. LOL. And I wish the same for you!



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