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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by fallsfall on July 30, 2006, at 21:10:14
Tomorrow I will have a phone session with my therapist (who is on vacation). I've been looking forward to this and really hope that it will help me through his second week of vacation.
Next weekend a dear Babble friend is coming to visit (I'll let her tell you who, if she wants to). She'll be here during my first session after his vacation a week from tomorrow. I really want her to meet my therapist and see his office and sit in my chair for a couple of minutes (no, she can't have my session!). I really want my therapist to meet her, because he hears about her frequently.
Dinah brings up a good point that he probably wouldn't like to be surprised, and that I should probably warn him that she is coming. But what if he says no? What would your therapist say? Would you ask in advance? If I ask him tomorrow on the phone and he says no, will it make the next week harder? Will he get mad just because I asked?
I think my current plan is to tell him that she is coming to visit, and that I'm going to show her a bunch of things in my life. I'll take her to the airport right after my session, so I'll ask if I can offer to let her wait through my session in his waiting room. Then when we are there I'll ask if she can come in for just a minute.
Comments?
Posted by LadyBug on July 30, 2006, at 22:18:23
In reply to To ask or not to ask, posted by fallsfall on July 30, 2006, at 21:10:14
I definitely think you should ask him on the phone tomorrow when you talk to him. I think it would be fine to introduce them for a min. during your session. I know my T would be ok with it but she would want to know what it meant to me.
Go for it! I'm sure it won't be a problem, it's not like the friend wants to start seeing your T. That wouldn't work anyway. Too many comparisons.
Good luck with your phone session! I hope it helps the week go faster for you.
LadyBug
Posted by sleepygirl on July 30, 2006, at 22:23:40
In reply to To ask or not to ask, posted by fallsfall on July 30, 2006, at 21:10:14
ask! why not, just a hello for a couple of minutes right?
I'd probably just show up with her, but just in case it's probably wise to let him know.I'd probably say "Next session my friend will be with me and will stay in the waiting room during my session. I'd like you to meet her briefly before we start. Any objection?"
Why would he get mad at a question? You do talk a lot about the whole therapy experience here, so a babble friend seems appropriate to share a little bit of that "real life" with you.
Good luck :-)
Posted by ElaineM on July 30, 2006, at 22:38:47
In reply to To ask or not to ask, posted by fallsfall on July 30, 2006, at 21:10:14
Hi Falls: I think it's great that you're going to get together with a babble friend. I agree that you should warn your T first - though I can see why you're hesitant.
I don't think my ladyT would have let me bring someone. I think she may have thought that if it wasn't a family member that I was trying to include her in something social. Though my circumstance was a little difference too. It was through an ED program so the place was supposed to be one of anonymity --kind of off-limits for outsiders. I can't see why your friend wouldn't be allowd to at least sit in the waiting room though.
Good luck with your phone session.
EL
Posted by Daisym on July 31, 2006, at 0:24:34
In reply to Re: To ask or not to ask » fallsfall, posted by ElaineM on July 30, 2006, at 22:38:47
I think you should mention it, especially since it he might wonder, "who is that strange woman sitting in my waiting room."
Think this through though. I think an introduction would be great, (I'm dying to hear that accent irl) but I'm not sure that I want to venture into the inner sanctom. There is something about that space that is "just" yours and as much as we've shared it here...it might feel different when I'm there.
I feel lucky just to be coming. I don't want it to be a big deal. :) But for sure, mention it.
Hugs,
Daisy
(only 4 days now...)
Posted by llrrrpp on July 31, 2006, at 8:54:35
In reply to Re: To ask or not to ask, posted by Daisym on July 31, 2006, at 0:24:34
hi Falls,
I think you should mention it just as you suggested before. Tell your T that your friend will be with you, (b/c of airport trip) and then ask whether it would be possible if she can step in a just say 'hi' before the session.It's only a one-time deal, not like you would be starting some precedent of allowing the entire world to see your special therapy-place.
Mention it to your T, and see what happens. mention it during the phone call so that it won't bug you for the rest of the week.
Hope you're doing okay and all that :)
-ll
Posted by pegasus on July 31, 2006, at 9:54:30
In reply to To ask or not to ask, posted by fallsfall on July 30, 2006, at 21:10:14
I've had other people pop in quickly at the beginning of a session before. My husband did it with my current T. My mom did it once. My T was delighted to meet them, and I was glad to have them meet each other. And it led to some interesting discussions in the session. The biggest problem was my mom's nervousness. She was sure she was getting blamed for all of my problems, and that my therapist would hate her.
I'd say go for it. It's extra nice for you to warn him. You know him better than we do, and I'm sure you have a better sense for whether he'd need that. But I bet it won't be the first time a client brings someone for him to meet.
peg
Posted by fallsfall on July 31, 2006, at 10:23:04
In reply to Re: To ask or not to ask, posted by pegasus on July 31, 2006, at 9:54:30
I said that she was coming and that I'd be bringing her to the airport after my session, and could she wait in his waiting room during my session. He *didn't* say "Oh, good, I'm dying to meet her". He was very non-commital - but he couldn't very well say no, could he? So at least he knows that he will see her. He can take this week to get comfortable with that. We'll play it by ear at the session - and decide then if she gets to see his cool chairs, and the view out his window, and his pretty flowers.
It was a nice session. He said he was "happy to do" the session.I feel like I matter.
Posted by Annierose on July 31, 2006, at 12:27:36
In reply to I sort of asked, posted by fallsfall on July 31, 2006, at 10:23:04
I'm so glad your phone session went well. He knows how to communicate warmth and connectiveness via the telephone --- that's so wonderfully comforting.
I think you did the right thing. He now knows to expect another person in your waiting room so it won't be a surprise.
I'm thinking of you, one more week, you can hold on.
This is the end of the thread.
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