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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by DisposableDoll on May 11, 2006, at 4:08:18
I was bisexual. It had never really came up before since when I was in a serious romantic relationship and was monogamous. It didn't bother me to not have a woman, too. Actually, I am normally more attracted to men and am attracted to more men, but I do find some women sexually attractive. I was a little concerned that he might think less of me or find me disgusting and the thought of making people feel sexually disgusted (like I'm some sort of pervert.....like a child molestor or a rapist) by me and of them thinking of me as being so sick, makes me feel sick and ashamed and scared. I had felt so nervous telling certain previous counselors- scared, exposed, nervous, disgusted, hating myself, vulnerable, exposed, ashamed, hated, etc. I didn't think my T would care, but I was concerned that he MIGHT. So, sitting in session I asked my T if he had a problem with homosexuality. He said that he didn't. I asked him if he would tell me he had a problem with it if he did. He said yes and that it took a lot for him to judge. I then told him I was bisexual and he said something to the effect of, he knew that or he suspected that. I asked him how he knew. I think he basically said that he could just read people. I am confused and surprised. Gaydar?
Posted by eyes2ursoul on May 11, 2006, at 6:20:47
In reply to My T has Gaydar, posted by DisposableDoll on May 11, 2006, at 4:08:18
Hi DD
You're 'GAYDAR' is very funny!
I think it's 'GAYDAR' built in to men because all men secretly think every woman is bi sexual. It's because they all want to have sex with 2 women at the same time, or at least in their own fantasy land they do.
And isn't it just like a therapist when you tell them something really important and deeply meaningful to you, and they say "I kinda already knew it anyway". How annoying can that be!
Just my opinion, and i know i may not please everyone here with my opinions, but please remember thats all they are - and i'm NOT trying to upset anyone by generalising, if you get my drift.
once again, very funny coming up with your ingenius term 'GAYDAR', i will remember that saying now for for a very long time and probably always smile when i do! Thanks DD for sharing!! P.s. hope you dont mind me calling you DD? No offense meant like.
Posted by madeline on May 11, 2006, at 6:50:29
In reply to Re: My T has Gaydar » DisposableDoll, posted by eyes2ursoul on May 11, 2006, at 6:20:47
"And isn't it just like a therapist when you tell them something really important and deeply meaningful to you, and they say "I kinda already knew it anyway". How annoying can that be!"
It's also really nice sometimes for there to be a tacit understanding like that. I tend to view it as a relief.Just a different take on it.
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 11, 2006, at 12:07:56
In reply to My T has Gaydar, posted by DisposableDoll on May 11, 2006, at 4:08:18
I think it's great you got that whole thing out of the way. Sexual orientation is really only a problem if the person themself is having a problem with it, if you catch my drift. What consenting adults do behind closed doors is irrelevant. Unless, of course, it is relevant.
BTW, gaydar is not infallible. I've been seen as gay my whole life, and I think it really is that I do not express homophobia. Never did. I think that's all there is to gaydar, but that's just my best guess.
Just my 2 cents.
Lar
Posted by B2chica on May 11, 2006, at 12:35:44
In reply to Re: My T has Gaydar » DisposableDoll, posted by Larry Hoover on May 11, 2006, at 12:07:56
funny you should say that...my husband used to get hit on at bar's (by the same sex) all the time. and i think he used to be a little homophobic at times...though he's not now.
but he can be such a gentle helping person...willing to go out of his way for anyone.
Posted by Racer on May 11, 2006, at 21:48:28
In reply to Re: My T has Gaydar » eyes2ursoul, posted by madeline on May 11, 2006, at 6:50:29
> "And isn't it just like a therapist when you tell them something really important and deeply meaningful to you, and they say "I kinda already knew it anyway". How annoying can that be!"
>
>
> It's also really nice sometimes for there to be a tacit understanding like that.That phenomenon has brought a lot of belly laughs into my sessions. Mostly because I'll say something that I just figured out, and my T will say something along the lines of "Well, DUH! You're just now figuring that out?" Sometimes, now, I can get to the "Oh, I'll bet that's kinda obvious to everyone else, isn't it?" But, mostly, there's that "Well DUH!" moment.
Of course, in my case, my T is funny when she says taht, and doesn't say anything like that when it's something that's really upsetting me. It's only on the things where I sit there for an extended period, trying to figure out if something fits, and then finally say, "you know, I think I do [x]" or something. She nearly fell out of her chair when I finally figured out that I'm still alexithymic. Took me a LOOOONNNNNGGGG time to realize that one.
Posted by Racer on May 11, 2006, at 21:49:38
In reply to Re: My T has Gaydar, posted by B2chica on May 11, 2006, at 12:35:44
> funny you should say that...my husband used to get hit on at bar's (by the same sex) all the time. and i think he used to be a little homophobic at times...though he's not now.
> but he can be such a gentle helping person...willing to go out of his way for anyone.
>That's very much a description of my husband. Maybe we're both the same person? After all, we've never been photographed together...
Posted by B2chica on May 12, 2006, at 9:42:25
In reply to Are you me? » B2chica, posted by Racer on May 11, 2006, at 21:49:38
> That's very much a description of my husband. Maybe we're both the same person? After all, we've never been photographed together...
well, i must say i do enjoy talking to myself!
;^)
This is the end of the thread.
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