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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by allisonross on December 11, 2005, at 9:56:48
I think the best words we can ever say are:
What can I do to help? How can I help?
I am sorry I hurt you. Would you like to discuss it?
Instead of criticizing (or BEFORE criticizing); say: I am not sure what you meant by that....would you explain it to me?
That prevents misunderstanding. When all we see is words on a screen, it is easy to minsconstrue a person's words/intentions.
This kind of dialogue, would go far in preventing hurt feelings.
Perhaps (if I stay), I will put a trigger on ALL of my posts, and in the beginning of the message, put what it is about.
(and I repeat myself)..
I just got out of a 31 year marriage of abuse; criticism has no place in my life.
Thankyou.
Sincerely, Ally
Posted by muffled on December 11, 2005, at 10:12:36
In reply to The Best Words We Can Ever Say....., posted by allisonross on December 11, 2005, at 9:56:48
hear ya Ally. Thanks. Nice to get to see more of you. :)
Youre an amazing woman. And lotsa fun too!
You take care, so glad you still here.
Muffly
Posted by allisonross on December 11, 2005, at 10:18:14
In reply to Re: The Best Words We Can Ever Say..... » allisonross, posted by muffled on December 11, 2005, at 10:12:36
> hear ya Ally. Thanks. Nice to get to see more of you. :)
Thankyou, sweetie:
> Youre an amazing woman.I know (LOL, LOL!!)
And lotsa fun too!
> You take care, so glad you still here.Thankyou, lil muffly person. You are a little shining light in my world.
> MufflyGrins n bad as I can be, LOL, Ally
Posted by one woman cine on December 11, 2005, at 18:44:44
In reply to The Best Words We Can Ever Say....., posted by allisonross on December 11, 2005, at 9:56:48
Hi,
I'll respond to your question to my question tomorrow when I have more time.Now, however, I am thinking these are more the words you want to hear, rather than what everyone should say. i am thinking many people hear have said how you can help, which is add the trigger in your posts, which I felt was met with initial indifference, & now you have said you will post it to "everything" (& why would you do that?) - & you have said also, you feel criticized - I wonder, with this post are telling people you want an apology? I'm just wondering because the intent of this post is not clear to me. I'd appreciate it if you could clear this up.
Posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2005, at 19:44:23
In reply to The Best Words We Can Ever Say....., posted by allisonross on December 11, 2005, at 9:56:48
I feel I'm being sweetly bludgeoned with a tactful object
Posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2005, at 21:02:28
In reply to Re: The Best Words We Can Ever Say..... » muffled, posted by allisonross on December 11, 2005, at 10:18:14
It was unnecessary for me to say how I felt in that case, I'm just finding this confusing.
I don't plan on being a thorn in your side, and I'll now refrain from responding to your posts.
Posted by allisonross on December 11, 2005, at 22:39:24
In reply to Re: The Best Words We Can Ever Say..... » allisonross, posted by one woman cine on December 11, 2005, at 18:44:44
> Hi,
> I'll respond to your question to my question tomorrow when I have more time.
>
> Now, however, I am thinking these are more the words you want to hear, rather than what everyone should say. i am thinking many people hear have said how you can help, which is add the trigger in your posts, which I felt was met with initial indifference,I am not indifferent, just confused as when to post a trigger
& now you have said you will post it to "everything" (& why would you do that?)
Because I have no way of knowing what will be a trigger
- & you have said also, you feel criticized - I wonder, with this post are telling people you want an apology?
No.
I'm just wondering because the intent of this post is not clear to me. I'd appreciate it if you could clear this up.
Okay, I am confused. I don't know what you are referring to; what did I say that you need "cleared up?"
Posted by one woman cine on December 12, 2005, at 10:23:20
In reply to Re: The Best Words We Can Ever Say..... » one woman cine, posted by allisonross on December 11, 2005, at 22:39:24
I've given my best effort at trying to explain myself & try to have a dialogue with you, to tell you how I feel, & also to support you.
What I asked you to clear up (at your behest, "ask someone first before you misconstrue") the intention of your post - you just answered with this...
"I don't know what you are referring to; what did I say that you need "cleared up?""
This is unfortunate, I think & I while I don't feel "bad" about it, I'm just disappointed that there is not going to be dialogue, in my opinion. I guess, I'm going to have to remember that for future reference.
This is the end of the thread.
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