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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by crushedout on November 20, 2005, at 12:29:11
For the loss of my therapist over a year ago.I cut way back on therapy and I've been missing both of my Ts so much. This is the first two-week period in which I haven't seen either one of them in I don't know how long. Years.
I'm not really sure what I've been feeling, partly because I'm mixing it all up with drugs. But there has been a lot of sadness.
Posted by 10derHeart on November 20, 2005, at 16:17:33
In reply to I think I might be grieving, posted by crushedout on November 20, 2005, at 12:29:11
Hi crushed, good to hear from you...
Grief is definitely a flavor of sadness that hangs around for a long, long time. I think, as long as it darn well pleases. But certainly when we realize it's a "first" of any kind (like this period for you)- that's enough to intensify the memories and feelings of loss, I think. Happens to me, too.
I hope you allow it to come out. Tears or whatever. Do be ever so careful with the drugs, dear one, we want you safe, healthy and with us. Do you at least have someone to talk to IRL? Telling about the sad feelings can be a relief.
I'm sorry, I forget why you cut back on therapy. Seems like you posted about that before..? Will you be going back again?
Sorry for all the questions...I just care. ((crushed))
Posted by crushedout on November 20, 2005, at 16:40:57
In reply to Re: I think I might be grieving » crushedout, posted by 10derHeart on November 20, 2005, at 16:17:33
It's ok 10der. I don't expect everyone to read and remember all my posts, and I post so rarely.
I cut back because of money/insurance. I had some amazing insurance for about 4 years and it just ended. :(
i'll see my T tomorrow. we have a double session. i can't wait. i miss her so much. the last time i saw her, though, i was filled with dread about seeing her, and i'm a little afraid tomorrow will feel like that, too. i think it feels extremely scary to me right now. maybe especially because of the drugs.
i really don't want to get high before therapy and i can't seem to stop myself from doing it. i'm going to try tomorrow but i don't know if i can
>
> I'm sorry, I forget why you cut back on therapy. Seems like you posted about that before..? Will you be going back again?
>
> Sorry for all the questions...I just care. ((crushed))
Posted by Tamar on November 20, 2005, at 20:35:30
In reply to Re: I think I might be grieving, posted by crushedout on November 20, 2005, at 16:40:57
Posted by muffled on November 20, 2005, at 23:31:17
In reply to Re: I think I might be grieving, posted by crushedout on November 20, 2005, at 16:40:57
Hi crushed, don't think I've posted to you before, I'm muffled, sometimes, sometimes I noisy!
> I cut back because of money/insurance. I had some amazing insurance for about 4 years and it just ended. :(
Serious bummer. Sh*t.
>
> i'll see my T tomorrow. we have a double session. i can't wait. i miss her so much. the last time i saw her, though, i was filled with dread about seeing her, and i'm a little afraid tomorrow will feel like that, too. i think it feels extremely scary to me right now. maybe especially because of the drugs.I get that way too. Screws up the session cuz by the time I relax, sessions over!
>
> i really don't want to get high before therapy and i can't seem to stop myself from doing it. i'm going to try tomorrow but i don't know if i can
>
What are you high on? Does it just chill you? or does it make the session wrecked? You got addictions issues? I was only high (pot) once when I went in. Kinda miscalculated the time and it was wicked smoke. She knew before long. I felt real bad. Like I wasn't really being respectful of her time or something by being high. I dunno. Sucked anyways.
Have you talked to her about strategies to avoid the drugs b4 therapy problem?
Therapy sure is freaky eh? I'll be thinking on you.
Mebbe try to keep straight for appts? or even in general? Ha, like I can talk eh!!
Oh well. I care too.
Sorry if this post is weird, I feel weird. Been a weird week.
Been a weird freaking life.
In a weird world.
Sorry you're hurting, dunno what to say, but hope it gets better soon. :(
I only do 1x/wk therapy and from what I hear here I think it best to stay that way.
Muffled
Posted by daisym on November 21, 2005, at 13:36:33
In reply to I think I might be grieving, posted by crushedout on November 20, 2005, at 12:29:11
Sounds to me like you are a little lonely and feeling a little lost. There is something about a caring, consistent presence that makes us all feel like we matter. I'm sorry you are sad.
My therapist often reminds me that it is OK to miss people that we care about. It is that bitter-sweet feeling of being glad to know someone and yet hating the sadness missing them causes.
I hope your session goes well.
Posted by Dinah on November 21, 2005, at 22:27:45
In reply to I think I might be grieving, posted by crushedout on November 20, 2005, at 12:29:11
I think grieving may be healthy. I consider it my work in therapy right now. My therapist said the other day that it didn't seem like I knew what to work on right now in therapy, and I replied that I was working harder than I ever had, grieving what used to be.
It's when you can't grieve, or don't allow yourself to grieve, that you get in real trouble, I think.
If you life, we can feel sad together? I always think that feels better than feeling sad alone.
I'm glad to see you posting. I've missed you.
This is the end of the thread.
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