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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on November 9, 2005, at 22:11:48
You doing OK? have you slowed down the negativw thot train? Hope your OK.
Muffled.
Posted by Poet on November 11, 2005, at 16:54:58
In reply to Sup Poet?, posted by muffled on November 9, 2005, at 22:11:48
Hi Muffled,
I can't seem to distract myself from negative thoughts. I'm dragging myself to water aerobics, trying to do chi gong videos, read books, watch movies.
What do I enjoy doing? Ripping myself apart. Ripping other people apart behind their backs. T says I send out negative karma and that's what I get back. I am a very civil poster, so maybe I should just quit therapy, go off meds and just post all the time?
T says I stay in therapy and I don't go completely off meds because I don't want to be stuck in my self hatred rut forever. That she sees me differently than I see myself. That I would say what I am in a sentance, and she would say it in a paragraph. She'd agree with what I say, but I'd agree with what she says.
Problem is for every *you are intelligent, you are (insert positive thing here.)* I can come up with 10 negative things to counteract it. I am in that negative rut at full speed and going nowhere.
Maybe Dr. Clueless was right about trying a little bit of an antipsychotic to slow down the thoughts. What would make a *different* thing like me feel different about herself?
It doesn't look like it will be a job that uses my brain. Then again courage turned to stupidity and I have an interview next week. Not quit the ideal job, but closer. Maybe. T says that I need to base my self esteem on something else. That bashing myself and getting depressed by blaming myself when I don't really know why I don't get jobs is not the answer. She asked what I would do if (at least she avoided *when*) I don't get this job. Can I tell myself it wasn't my fault? I tried my best? I said, I don't think I can do that. That's when we got into the stuck in the rut.
I am feeling better. That's positive right? Even though it's probably the job interview. I need to stop this. But how?
Poet
Posted by muffled on November 11, 2005, at 17:57:08
In reply to Re: Sup Poet? » muffled, posted by Poet on November 11, 2005, at 16:54:58
(((((Poet)))) Sounds like your in a rough place right now. Just know it isn't forever. It may not seem like it, but things do get better. i'm not in the best place right now myself, but I do ok.
I used to hate myself with an extreeme passion. I don't anymore. Everything is better than where I was then. You'll just have to keep plugging away I guess. My God helped me ALOT. My T. did too. And Babble. And alot I just sort of figgered myself somehow.
F*cking bloody sucks at times. No doubt about it. Sorry you're in a bad patch. Hope you can get out soon.
Muffled.
This is the end of the thread.
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