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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Poet on October 1, 2005, at 17:35:34
My T has always been very open with me that she sees traits in me that her son has. Since she talked to Dr. Clueless, she is telling me more about how her son has struggled with many of the same *differences* in sensory integration that I may (or may NOT) have.
Example- I have poor motor coordination. He has poor motor coordination. I don't like social situations. He doesn't like social situations. You get the picture. He's grown, so it's not like she's comparing me to a little kid. Though I wish she was because this means (sob) I am (sob) old enough to be his mother since T isn't much older than me.
I'm not uncomfortable being compared to her son, it really only annoys me when my T is off base on something about me that I disagree with. I disagree a lot lately and tell her so.
I know that this could be counter transference, too. Which I assume she can handle if it is. I don't want my T stalking me. I sure wouldn't stalk her. No transference on this end.
Poet
Posted by rainbowbrite on October 1, 2005, at 19:05:26
In reply to Rigby ( everybody) T Being Very Open with Me, posted by Poet on October 1, 2005, at 17:35:34
Hi Poet!
I dont think there is anything wrong with your t using her son as a comparison, its actually kinda neat she feels comfotable to. a stalking t lol I wouldnt want that either
Posted by daisym on October 1, 2005, at 19:46:27
In reply to Rigby ( everybody) T Being Very Open with Me, posted by Poet on October 1, 2005, at 17:35:34
Poet,
I've been following these new developments with interest because as you know, I work with kids with special needs, including kids with sensory integration difficulties. (We call that SI btw so I get confused here sometimes.) I see how hard it is for these kids to just be in their environment without getting overwhelmed. If you do have some sensitivity in this area I'm sure it was magnified a thousand times by your brother.
I'm not sure how I'd feel about my therapist comparing me to anyone else. I have this funny reaction to that kind of thing, I always take it as a negative comparison. But it doesn't sound like that is what she is doing. Have you asked her why she suddenly sees so many similarities?
And no worries about being old enough to be this kid's mom -- maybe your therapist was a teen mom?? :)
Posted by Racer on October 1, 2005, at 22:31:02
In reply to Rigby ( everybody) T Being Very Open with Me, posted by Poet on October 1, 2005, at 17:35:34
First of all, if your T is driving you nuts about Asperger's, do what I have done in similar situations: get out the DSM criteria and go through each and every one of them. Take in a list to her, and say: "This much fits. The rest just doesn't. Your continuing to bring it up bothers me, so can we just let it go now?" Might not help, but I hope it will. (Didn't do a thing when I tried it with The Therapist From The Dark Side. More proof to her of my severe psychopathology %-P )
For the most important part, though, what sorts of trouble do you have with SensInt? (too tired to type) There are a lot of things that we do with animals who have symptoms similar to those of autistic kids, especially with that sort of movement thing where you don't seem to know where parts of you are. (I go through that, too, by the way -- and am not to be found on the autistic spectrum.) Social situations? Is that because you are uncomfortable around people? Or because most social situations involve mostly people who think that "great classic movie" means "Porky's?" (What? You wanted "Twins?") Is it anxiety about not having fluffy small talk? Or is it not being able to speak to more than one person at a time? (Even there, most of the people I know talk to one person at a time at parties. Makes for fun parties, since we switch partners every so often, so we all get to hear and tell lots of stories.)
As for the motor coordination, are you aware of being self-conscious when you get particularly uncoordinated? Or preoccupied? Have you ever tried anything to help with it? Do you want to try anything to work with it? If you do want to, and don't have any ideas, you can borrow some of mine: Pilates, which is basically yoga for the terminally uncoordinated-but-strong; swimming, which kinda forces you to get inside your body; work on horseback, which I tend to think is the best for everyone who needs to work on coordination or becoming comfortable in one's body. (heheh, 'course you need a good teacher to work with, but there are some out there...)
Poor Poet, I'm on a ramble here. I'm sorry that you've got a T who's so excited about this new insight into your problems. {snort} As for the kid thing, though, doncha worry none about that. You look pretty dang good from here...
Posted by fairywings on October 1, 2005, at 23:43:17
In reply to Rigby ( everybody) T Being Very Open with Me, posted by Poet on October 1, 2005, at 17:35:34
My son, daughter, and I have this, we also have ADD and take ADD meds. You have ADD too don't you Poet?
fw
Posted by Poet on October 3, 2005, at 18:52:53
In reply to Re: Rigby ( everybody) T Being Very Open with Me, posted by rainbowbrite on October 1, 2005, at 19:05:26
Hi Rainbowbrite,
My T has always been real comfortable sharing personal things. That's okay as it makes me feel that I am not too crazy for her to work with me.
Poet
Posted by Poet on October 3, 2005, at 19:08:51
In reply to Re: Rigby ( everybody) T Being Very Open with Me, posted by daisym on October 1, 2005, at 19:46:27
Hi Daisy,
She's always mentioned similar traits between her son and I, but what really got her going was when I said I failed gymnastics in school because I couldn't walk the balance beam. That was one of the tests he son did (and failed) when he was being evaluated for whatever his official DX is.
When I was a kid I was always called shy- not sensitive or different. I never raised my hand to answer a question in school. Prayed I could hold out on going to the bathroom until we got a break because I could never ask permission to go.
Classes were very crowded- more than 30 kids per class and I always thought that was good for me because I could hide easier. Maybe it wasn't, I can't really say for sure.
How do you work with children who have SI problems? I am discovering that my T is right about many things- I made a list and went over them with her. Maybe things for kids can be adapted to adults?
I usually see the negative side of things, but my T honestly does not seem to be doing a negative comparison between her son and I. I'm usually so uncomfortable talking about things, but I think knowing that she has someone close to her with issues like mine has probably helped me more than hurt me.
Poet
Posted by Poet on October 3, 2005, at 21:05:50
In reply to Usual long musing ramble... » Poet, posted by Racer on October 1, 2005, at 22:31:02
Hi Racer,
I did read my T the DSM IV of Asperger's. Her response was that she didn't say I have autism. I told her that she implied it. She denied that too, but she's reading Dr. Clueless' recommended book "Asperger Syndrome and Sensory Issues"
Dr. Clueless photocopied chapter one for me. Below are the sample sensory characteristics of a typical (I have always been atypical, thank you) child with Asperger's. You are being spared the sickenly cutesy illustrations that accompany the characteristics below.
Sensitive to Loud Noises. Yup, that's me.
Bumps into people in line. Cars, too- forwards and backwards.
Has difficulty paying attention. Depends on the subject. I watch the entire movie credits even if I am the only one in the theatre that isn't sweeping up popcorn from the floor. This includes subtitled films where the credits aren't in english. So I think my concentration is pretty good.
Has difficulty with hair washing and brushing. My hair, face and teeth are clean. They aren't if I am depressed. So normally (LOL) this is not like me.
Picky Eater. Despite my history of bulimia, I am a picky eater. I have a sensitive sense of smell, too. Okay, they've got me on this one.
Problems with handwriting. My handwriting is pretty bad. I can't draw a straight line with a ruler either.
Always on the go. Nope, not like me.
Only likes certain types of clothing. I so love cotton and cut labels out that scratch me. Oh, oh, they got me again.
Clumsy/poor motor coordination. And again.
<<Social situations? Is that because you are uncomfortable around people? Or because most social situations involve mostly people who think that "great classic movie" means "Porky's?"
"Porky's 2" just wasn't as good as the original. LOL. I guess "Duke's of Hazard" isn't in the theatre anymore. Darn it. I had my Daisy Duke costume all ready to wear to the theatre.
I am uncomfortable around people. Always have been. I'm okay with a few people, but get major anxiety with groups of people. I like space around me- I can't stand being packed shoulder to shoulder with a bunch of strangers. I'm not great at small talk.
I've always been afraid that I'm too uncoordinated for pilates, but you do it and well you are...anyway... Dr. Clueless thought I should try tai chi. T thinks that qigong might be easier because of my poor balance. She is going to lend me a DVD. I need to get to the library to see what I can check out. No way I am going to a class. The only reason I do aqua aerobics is that the water keeps me from falling over.
Poet
Posted by Poet on October 3, 2005, at 21:12:53
In reply to Re: Rigby ( everybody) T Being Very Open with Me » Poet, posted by fairywings on October 1, 2005, at 23:43:17
Hi fairywings,
Neither pdoc or T has ever suggested that I have ADD. I probably have elements of it- my math learning disability could be related. I'm not on meds for ADD in any case- effexor xr for depression and anxiety.
I thought of you when I was in the halloween aisle at Target- there was a costume with fairy wings. If only I were four again...
Poet
Posted by fairywings on October 3, 2005, at 23:03:27
In reply to Re: Rigby ( everybody) T Being Very Open with Me » fairywings, posted by Poet on October 3, 2005, at 21:12:53
>
> I thought of you when I was in the halloween aisle at Target- there was a costume with fairy wings. If only I were four again...
>
Oh, but you have to pretend you're 4! That's the magic! ; )
I'll meet you in the costume aisle and we'll go sprinkle some fairy dust on dr. clueless! ; )
fw
Posted by fairywings on October 3, 2005, at 23:07:35
In reply to A long ramble in return... » Racer, posted by Poet on October 3, 2005, at 21:05:50
Sounds like me, sounds like all my kids! You know there's a whole spectrum from autism through the sensory issues to ADD, and you might just fall somewhere along that spectrum, doens't mean you have ausperger's.
fw
Posted by Racer on October 3, 2005, at 23:17:57
In reply to A long ramble in return... » Racer, posted by Poet on October 3, 2005, at 21:05:50
OK, now I gotta answer some of those myself:
> Dr. Clueless photocopied chapter one for me. Below are the sample sensory characteristics of a typical (I have always been atypical, thank you) child with Asperger's. You are being spared the sickenly cutesy illustrations that accompany the characteristics below.Aw, no pictures for me? {boohoo}
>
> Sensitive to Loud Noises. Yup, that's me.Me too! Make a sharp sound behind me, and you can peel me off the ceiling.
>
> Bumps into people in line. Cars, too- forwards and backwards.No, because I get claustrophobic if people get too close to me. In fact, we have a lot of immigrants in my area who come from places where "personal space" is apparently measured NEGATIVELY, as in 'they nearly stand on top of me,' and it really freaks me out. There have been days in the supermarket when I've been afraid that I would literally start screaming and be carted away by nice men with butterfly nets because of the crowding. (I try stepping a bit away from them -- and they step even closer!)
>
> Has difficulty paying attention. Depends on the subject.Yeah, and? That's normal, we like to call it "Selective Inattention." It's the only way we can get through those interminable conversations with people we really want to be polite to... Like, you know, IRS agents...
>
> Has difficulty with hair washing and brushing. My hair, face and teeth are clean. They aren't if I am depressed. So normally (LOL) this is not like me.OK, that's me, too, although I tend to floss daily -- even if I can't manage to brush my teeth, I will still floss. Explain that one to me? (Oh, right -- I'm nuts...)
>
> Picky Eater. Despite my history of bulimia, I am a picky eater. I have a sensitive sense of smell, too. Okay, they've got me on this one.Me too. Do you have certain aversions that drive you nuts? I can't be in the same room with someone eating a banana, and the smell lingers long enough for me to be nauseous. And textures, too. Some textures I can't have in my mouth. (Which reminds me, I forgot to pick up oatmeal today! Dang it.)
>
> Problems with handwriting. My handwriting is pretty bad. I can't draw a straight line with a ruler either.My mother is an artist, and you could nearly frame her grocery lists. Some days I can read my own writing. That's why I type...
>
> Always on the go. Nope, not like me.Depends -- depressed? Sluggish. Anorexic? Hyperactive. Normal? Don't know...
>
> Only likes certain types of clothing. I so love cotton and cut labels out that scratch me. Oh, oh, they got me again.Me, too. I only like the type of clothes that I look good in. Or the type of clothes I think I look good in. Or the type of clothes that I can grab easily and put on, like leggings, shorts, jeans, you know?
>
> Clumsy/poor motor coordination. And again.Oh, yeah... Maybe one day we should meet and see who trips first?
>
> I've always been afraid that I'm too uncoordinated for pilates, but you do it and well you are...anyway... Dr. Clueless thought I should try tai chi. T thinks that qigong might be easier because of my poor balance. She is going to lend me a DVD. I need to get to the library to see what I can check out. No way I am going to a class. The only reason I do aqua aerobics is that the water keeps me from falling over.
>
> Poet
>
>
>Cross my heart swear I can do Pilates. Most of it takes place while lying on my back on the floor -- I can manage to do that without too much trouble... (Seriously? There are a couple of things in the class I go to that I have trouble with. Lying on my side? Only if you have a sling for me to keep me from falling over and hurting myself.)
Way back when I could still work, I noticed that a bunch of my clients would start to get a lot more coordinated -- and they were all taking Pilates. I asked, and they all said Pilates. It made a huge difference to all of them. And when I read up on it a bit, it turns out that it was developed for physical rehab, so it's all about easy strengthening. I think it started in some German sanatarium? (I forget. Stupid drugs.)
OK. Done now. Dan Ackroyd may have Asperger's, but you and I don't. We have IPS.
Posted by Rigby on October 4, 2005, at 12:26:33
In reply to Rigby ( everybody) T Being Very Open with Me, posted by Poet on October 1, 2005, at 17:35:34
Hi Poet,
Sorry for the delay in responding--my life has become super nuts these days. Anyway, this is quite interesting. I just hope that your therapists's son doesn't get in the way of your therapy. You sound good and okay about it but I would wonder a bit. I think we all need to be really careful of projecting our own experiences onto someone else's but hopefully your therapist knows when this can be helpful and when it's not.
Rigby
> My T has always been very open with me that she sees traits in me that her son has. Since she talked to Dr. Clueless, she is telling me more about how her son has struggled with many of the same *differences* in sensory integration that I may (or may NOT) have.
>
> Example- I have poor motor coordination. He has poor motor coordination. I don't like social situations. He doesn't like social situations. You get the picture. He's grown, so it's not like she's comparing me to a little kid. Though I wish she was because this means (sob) I am (sob) old enough to be his mother since T isn't much older than me.
>
> I'm not uncomfortable being compared to her son, it really only annoys me when my T is off base on something about me that I disagree with. I disagree a lot lately and tell her so.
>
> I know that this could be counter transference, too. Which I assume she can handle if it is. I don't want my T stalking me. I sure wouldn't stalk her. No transference on this end.
>
> Poet
>
This is the end of the thread.
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