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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by PM80 on May 31, 2005, at 14:52:00
For anyone who has/does cut:
Do you discuss it in therapy?
If so, what do you say and what does your T ask?My T hasn't seemed to focus on this although he is aware I do it and said he was happy for me when I told him that I hadn't cut for week. I'm not sure how to bring up discussing it- I don't really know what more other than I do it to discuss. I have never been abused or anything like that so I kinda feel like I don't have the right to do it or at least not the right to talk about it and have it validated. I had been doing it a lot less (thanks to my new med combo and summer sunshine), but now I keep thinking about it again. It's is a short step from thinking to doing for me. Sorry if my writing skills suck right now, but I just feel kinda off-kilter.
Any thoughts/experiences?
Posted by littleone on May 31, 2005, at 16:12:32
In reply to Cutting, posted by PM80 on May 31, 2005, at 14:52:00
When I started with my T, he knew I cut. But I can't remember if I told him or if he saw the cuts. I think I must have told him because it was on my list of reasons for being there.
I find it very addictive so my T made that the first thing he addressed. I was to basically just stop altogether and just cope with the bad feelings without cutting.
Of course, that didn't happen all at once. I'm not sure if he's actually specified it or if it is assumed, but I need to tell him whenever I have cut. I didn't always do that, but sometimes he could pick up on it anyway. Sometimes he can tell if I'm hiding that part of my hand.
I managed to pull back from cutting a bit, but it was still happening quite a bit. So then he started making me show him the cuts. And not just flash them at him, but keep them on show the whole session. I hated that so much. Just thinking about it makes me squirm and want to hide. But it was very effective.
I haven't cut since late March I think it was.
Having said that we were talking about dad stuff in therapy yesterday and it was stuff that made me very upset and angry (although it scares me just to admit to the angry part) and I had very bad urges to cut cut cut. I managed not to, but they haven't gone away. Little things are upsetting me and bringing on the urge. I know I need to address the dad stuff rather than cope in an unhealthy way, but still....
I guess I'll mention the urges to my T at my next session.
Oh, and the other thing I meant to mention was that he made me hand over my knife. He keeps it in his desk drawer. This part brings up a lot of stuff in me. I still find it very disturbing to think about.
Posted by Tamar on May 31, 2005, at 16:25:46
In reply to Cutting, posted by PM80 on May 31, 2005, at 14:52:00
> For anyone who has/does cut:
> Do you discuss it in therapy?
> If so, what do you say and what does your T ask?
>
> My T hasn't seemed to focus on this although he is aware I do it and said he was happy for me when I told him that I hadn't cut for week. I'm not sure how to bring up discussing it- I don't really know what more other than I do it to discuss. I have never been abused or anything like that so I kinda feel like I don't have the right to do it or at least not the right to talk about it and have it validated. I had been doing it a lot less (thanks to my new med combo and summer sunshine), but now I keep thinking about it again. It's is a short step from thinking to doing for me. Sorry if my writing skills suck right now, but I just feel kinda off-kilter.
>
> Any thoughts/experiences?I’m sorry you’re feeling off-kilter. It must be quite frightening to have these urges to cut if you felt you were handling it previously.
I have cut occasionally but not often. I did tell my therapist about it and he asked me why I did it and what my feelings about it were.
Being abused isn’t the only reason people cut. There are all sorts of reasons. In my case it’s usually about feeling completely unable to control myself. You definitely have a right to talk about it.
I do think you should talk about it with your T. If you have trouble saying the words, maybe you could write it down or take in your post to show him. If your T already knows you’ve done it in the past, I’m sure he’ll be understanding about your present feelings.
I hope you begin to feel better soon. ((((PM80))))
Tamar
Posted by Jazzed on May 31, 2005, at 16:40:07
In reply to Re: Cutting - *trigger* » PM80, posted by littleone on May 31, 2005, at 16:12:32
> I managed to pull back from cutting a bit, but it was still happening quite a bit. So then he started making me show him the cuts. And not just flash them at him, but keep them on show the whole session. I hated that so much. Just thinking about it makes me squirm and want to hide. But it was very effective.
>> Having said that we were talking about dad stuff in therapy yesterday and it was stuff that made me very upset and angry (although it scares me just to admit to the angry part) and I had very bad urges to cut cut cut. I managed not to, but they haven't gone away. Little things are upsetting me and bringing on the urge. I know I need to address the dad stuff rather than cope in an unhealthy way, but still....
>
> I guess I'll mention the urges to my T at my next session.
>I'm glad you quit. I know that my scars are a constant source of embarrasment for me as an adult, and hard as I try to hide them, they are never completely covered up. I love winter! Actually I hate it, but you know what I mean.
I think it was a very good tactic that your T used. Wow, that was thinking. BUT, I do feel very strongly that you absolutely NEED to tell him about your urges! He needs to know what those triggers are, so that he can help you cope.
Jazzed
Posted by Jazzed on May 31, 2005, at 16:43:36
In reply to Cutting, posted by PM80 on May 31, 2005, at 14:52:00
I agree with Tamar, there are a lot of reasons ppl cut. It's sure not easy to explain is it? I am having the very same issue as you, so what I decided to do is refuse to talk about it unless it's completely in context. What I mean by that is WHY I used to cut. I was a teen, in a situation where I became very angry and felt I had NO control over my life. In anger I cut. I wish, of course now, that I had never done it, but that doesn't help take it away. So, now I just have to deal with it, hard as that may be, and explain when appropriate to do so, but again only in context.
Good luck with this, I know it's so hard.
Jazzed
Posted by PM80 on June 1, 2005, at 8:42:25
In reply to Re: Cutting » PM80, posted by Jazzed on May 31, 2005, at 16:43:36
I don't have a session this week, but I have one next week. I guess I should tell him how I've been feeling. It's so frustrating in a way. I cut back on drinking and now I want to cut. It's like I need a release somehow, anyhow. He talks about how I've made progress, and I guess in some ways I have. But I still feel this feeling of too-much something inside that doesn't often let me relax and enjoy relaxing.
Thanks for your personal stories. It is comforting to feel less alone.
Posted by Jazzed on June 1, 2005, at 9:28:50
In reply to Re: Cutting, posted by PM80 on June 1, 2005, at 8:42:25
> I don't have a session this week, but I have one next week. I guess I should tell him how I've been feeling. It's so frustrating in a way. I cut back on drinking and now I want to cut. It's like I need a release somehow, anyhow. He talks about how I've made progress, and I guess in some ways I have. But I still feel this feeling of too-much something inside that doesn't often let me relax and enjoy relaxing.
>
> Thanks for your personal stories. It is comforting to feel less alone.Since drinking seems to calm you down, why don't you try a relaxing herb, like Valerian? I find that it really takes the edge off for me, but doesn't knock me out, unless I take enough for sleep. There are others, like GABA, but I haven't tried them.
Maybe you might call to schedule an appt for this week, it's important to talk about this.
Jazzed
Posted by PM80 on June 1, 2005, at 10:13:28
In reply to Re: Cutting, posted by Jazzed on June 1, 2005, at 9:28:50
I've never heard of Valerian; do you take it? I'm on Depakote and Seroquel. The seroquel (200-300mg/day) does help me relax, but if I take much beyond this (and even at 300mg sometimes) I feel depressed the next morning. The depakote tends to be an AD for me, and I think I recall that depakote works via GABA in the brain (I could have that wrong, though). Interestingly, though, the depakote does not relax me as it seems to for many. If I have extra caffeine, I get hypomanic, especially if I take only 200mg seroquel the day before. Anyway, this isn't the med board - I guess I'm just rambling.
I can't schedule a session this week because my T and I don't have any time mutually open. That is why I don't have a session until next week. Things can wait until next week; they've waited this long. I will bring it up, though it will feel awkward, to say the least. Right now, I'm not overly depressed, and certainly not with consistency. It kinda comes and goes. At the moment, I'm starting to feel good/not depressed.
Thanks for the advice. I am curious about the herbs you mentioned. DO they take a while to have an effect? Are they okay to take with meds?
Posted by B2chica on June 2, 2005, at 11:15:31
In reply to Re: Cutting, posted by PM80 on June 1, 2005, at 8:42:25
First i'm glad to hear you realize it is an IMPORTANT issue to discuss in treatment. i think you need to discuss it with him. and NEver think you don't have the 'right'. you shouldn't have to feel the feelings you have that drive you to cut.
i'm a cutter (but haven't in about 3 weeks).
i switch my si around sometimes i cut, then restrict, then binge/purge, went back to cutting, and now i'm abusing pills and alcohol.
this is a serious issue.and now my T wants me in substance abuse counseling as well-mostly cuz i abuse the stuff to get to the edge of suicide. i know i'm using it as a means of self harm.First your T needs to know how to handle this.if they don't or get offended or upset (dump them) only show your cuts if YOU are comfortable,sometimes showing them brings a realization to yourself that you didn't know before, or maybe each different cut stands for a different feeling or different action?? the best answer a T could have is asking you how you felt while you were cutting. you need to also know how you felt afterwards. and most importantly what thoughts or actions triggered you wanting to cut.
it's actually a misconception of abuse re: SI. typically what's going on is you have this Enormous amount of confusing, complex and incredible amount of different emotions inside you that you don't know what to do with or how to deal with them. you may not even know what starts them at first...so YOU need to monitor yourself. what were you doing, who were you talking to, what were you talking about?? those questions and discuss that in therapy.
best wishes.
and if you ever need to talk about SI just post or babble me.
b2c.
Posted by cubic_me on June 2, 2005, at 15:40:47
In reply to Re: Cutting-it will get better **trigger**, posted by B2chica on June 2, 2005, at 11:15:31
I cut too, and discussed it occasionally in therapy. Once my T had established that I was doing it 'safely' she only focused on it for a couple of sessions and never asked me to stop or show my scars. Her theory was that when I had developed better coping mechanisms and was happier in myself the SI would stop, which is what has happened to an extent.
When I wanted to bring up SI in sessions I found it really difficult, but worthwhile - sometimes you just want someone to know what you are doing to yourself, especially when it is so sectretive like it was with me.
In group I brought up cutting once, everyone ignored it and I didn't talk about it, or anything else much again. But group is a whole different experience.
It sounds like your T is quite relaxed about you talking about cutting, I'd take advantage of that if you can. It might make you feel more like doing it to start with, but talking as an important step to stopping SI.
This is the end of the thread.
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