Shown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by thewrite1 on May 18, 2005, at 16:30:28
I've been seeing my T for more than 3 years. I brought up the idea of meds a long time ago and she said she didn't think I needed it. Now she's sending me to a pdoc. *sigh* On one hand, I think I probably need meds, but on the other it just kind of feels like she's given up on me. I could probably make anyone find the end of their rope.
Posted by pinkeye on May 18, 2005, at 16:38:00
In reply to T is sending me to a shrink, posted by thewrite1 on May 18, 2005, at 16:30:28
Well, if she has given up on you, she still wouldn't be treating you.
I am sure she hasn't given up on you. She just wants to do all the best things for you and give you the care you deserve to get. And if medicines are it, then that is what you need.
Posted by Daisym on May 18, 2005, at 19:07:57
In reply to T is sending me to a shrink, posted by thewrite1 on May 18, 2005, at 16:30:28
Ouch! That was my reaction too...complete melt down around being too much for him, too hard, etc. etc. I felt like he wanted me to stop talking about all the sad things. Especially suicide.
We've worked hard on this. I'm still having trouble accepting that I've "resorted" to medication (where is my internal fortitude?!) but after a month and a half I guess I would say that I'm not in such a deep, dark hole and I'm definately sleeping better. Everytime I have to go see the pdoc, I go through the feelings of being sent away again, but I tell him and he reassures me that he doesn't intend to be replaced by little white pills. :)
Mostly I think he wanted me to not be in such tremendous distress between sessions. And that makes sense on some level. I *do* need to work and take care of my kids and clean house.
My helpful hint would be to choose a pdoc carefully and be clear about therapy and medications or just medications. It was confusing to me when the pdoc asked me if I wanted to do therapy with her. My therapist sent me to her, so I thought she would automatically know that I "only" needed medication from her. My therapist also coached me some on what I "had" to tell her and what I could "choose" to tell her. He was worried that I come off so together that she would dismiss most of what I was complaining about. It was interesting that she told me that it was really hard to see depression in folks like me because our energy level is so high to begin with that when we come down we just appear "ordinary" to everyone else. It was the sleep issues that got her attention. Go figure...
Posted by Dinah on May 18, 2005, at 19:09:37
In reply to T is sending me to a shrink, posted by thewrite1 on May 18, 2005, at 16:30:28
That seems to be a highly charged subject for those of us who sought therapy before medications. It has overtones of the therapist giving up, at the very least. Sometimes it feels more like rejection or abandonment.
I think that that is probably just our perception though. If you asked them, they'd probably say they think we can do better more productive work in therapy on a stable base of medications.
I saw both my pdoc and therapist today, and told both of them that seeing my therapist was roughly equivilant to taking a Risperdal in effect. That I tried to schedule an extra session if possible but that was impossible, I could take a Risperdal and usually avert meltdown. That Risperdal had a greater chance of side effects, but was a heck of a lot cheaper than therapy.
My pdoc said it sounded as if I had found a combination that worked for me, and he was pleased to be part of a successful treatment team.
My therapist of course thought that the therapy session would have the potential to actually help things long term. :)
But my point is that it's not either/or. Therapy and medications can augment each other nicely. Perhaps your therapist even thinks that you can do deeper therapy work with a safety net of medications.
Did you discuss your fears and concerns?
Posted by pinkeye on May 18, 2005, at 19:12:41
In reply to Re: T is sending me to a shrink » thewrite1, posted by Daisym on May 18, 2005, at 19:07:57
I am really glad there is someone else like me. I am also one of these hyper and for me extreme depression is what is ordinary for many people.
I wish I can take this post and send it to my ex T. I and him struggled for a long time to understand what was wrong with me.
I wish they would revise the depression standards to take into account of what a person's normal operation level is.
> He was worried that I come off so together that she would dismiss most of what I was complaining about. It was interesting that she told me that it was really hard to see depression in folks like me because our energy level is so high to begin with that when we come down we just appear "ordinary" to everyone else. It was the sleep issues that got her attention. Go figure...
Posted by Shortelise on May 18, 2005, at 19:27:36
In reply to T is sending me to a shrink, posted by thewrite1 on May 18, 2005, at 16:30:28
I'd been in therapy for about 4 years before I went on meds. My T hadn't given up on me at all, and the meds helped a LOT!
I'm sorry this change makes you feel badly. I hope you get a nice psychiatrist.
ShortE
Posted by sleepygirl on May 18, 2005, at 22:09:04
In reply to T is sending me to a shrink, posted by thewrite1 on May 18, 2005, at 16:30:28
Hey there,
Give the meds a try, see if there is evidence they work for you. Sometimes they can just make your load just a bit lighter, and make therapy more productive. Try not to think that you've "failed" to remain med free, it's just some help, and you deserve to have the best quality of life you can.
Posted by thewrite1 on May 18, 2005, at 22:20:50
In reply to Re: T is sending me to a shrink, posted by sleepygirl on May 18, 2005, at 22:09:04
Thanks to everyone for your replies. I made the appointment myself, so I'll go and if the doc wants to put me on meds, I'll take them. I trust my T enough that if she thinks I need them, then I will. I told her I would sign something so she can talk to my pdoc, too. I asked her if she could, and she said she could, but I'd have to sign something saying it was okay.
I guess it just *feels* like she must be at the end of her rope with me because we've been working together so long and this is the first time this has come up. As one of you mentioned (I'm sorry I forget who), she said that she thinks the meds will help us do deeper therapy together. I believe her, but I still feel like a burden on her. I know that's on me, but I guess I was hoping maybe some of you had been through the same thing. Thanks for letting me know that. I feel a little less crazy and bothersome now.
Posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 8:46:52
In reply to Re: T is sending me to a shrink » thewrite1, posted by Dinah on May 18, 2005, at 19:09:37
> That seems to be a highly charged subject for those of us who sought therapy before medications. It has overtones of the therapist giving up, at the very least. Sometimes it feels more like rejection or abandonment.
>
I think this is right and can go both ways, you wonder if they've given up on you, but wonder if they know that meds will help you feel better. I'm sure you're right, it's easier to do the work when you're feeling good, and if meds help you feel better then it might be the difference between being able to do the work or not. I went to the p-doc 1st and am now considering therapy, and it's odd, I wonder why in the heck I want to put myself through that again! LOL, funny how we think!
Posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 9:07:47
In reply to Re: T is sending me to a shrink » thewrite1, posted by Daisym on May 18, 2005, at 19:07:57
> Ouch! That was my reaction too...complete melt down around being too much for him, too hard, etc. etc. I felt like he wanted me to stop talking about all the sad things. Especially suicide.
>
> Mostly I think he wanted me to not be in such tremendous distress between sessions. And that makes sense on some level. I *do* need to work and take care of my kids and clean house.
>
My therapist also coached me some on what I "had" to tell her and what I could "choose" to tell her. He was worried that I come off so together that she would dismiss most of what I was complaining about. ...Hi Daisy,
Oh, I'm sure the T was just doing it for the benefit the meds would bring to the equation.
But I'm sure the "sad things" might be key to needing meds. Great that you have such high energy, can I borrow some? You know, having ADD myself, and going on meds, the way I look at it is that I'm "tweaking" my brain. Some chemical is obviously low or missing, so we're working on finding out what that is and replacing it. I always wondered why doctors didn't automatically replace the hormones we lose as we get older. I mean, if losing your natural thyroid hormone causes physical and emotional decline, they why not replace it? (or estrogen, or testosterone, or whatever) Seems to make sense to me. I think there's just more stigma with the brain chemicals.I was curious, what kinds of things wouldn't you want to tell your p-doc? I wonder because I don't know how much to reveal and how much to keep to myself. He isn't there to do therapy, so do I tell him stuff? But, if I don't tell him stuff, how's he supposed to know me enough to treat me? I've said before about my p-doc, he doesn't miss a beat anyway, but I still don't know how much to reveal.
Sorry if I rambled.
Jazzed
Posted by Daisym on May 19, 2005, at 12:40:46
In reply to Re: T is sending me to a shrink » Daisym, posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 9:07:47
I have pretty limited experience talking about the abuse in my childhood. I never really talked about it with anyone before my therapist. So thinking I needed to go in and tell some stranger, "oh, by the way, I was sexually abused" felt like something I couldn't do. And there are some struggles with sex currently -- again, really personal to reveal to a stranger. Yet, both these things were contributing to flashbacks and sleeplessness. So, I concentrated on WHAT was happening, not WHY it was happening. The other thing that was really (really, really, really)hard was discussing my therapy with the pdoc. How often did I go, how did I feel after, why did I struggle with the attachment...I felt pretty criticized and it made me defensive. I finally realized that I don't have to talk about that with her, except to tell her my therapist's name and that I was still seeing him. She didn't ask last time about any of that. Ultimately I know that it is hard for me not to be perfectly cooperative and diplomatic with anyone, I'm so compelled to do everything "right" -- even medical appointments!
I think if you are comfortable talking about yourself, that is great. I wouldn't change it.
Posted by Shortelise on May 19, 2005, at 14:17:22
In reply to Re: T is sending me to a shrink, posted by thewrite1 on May 18, 2005, at 22:20:50
Well, writeone, you know what they say: we project our feelings about ourselves onto our T's. So maybe you are feeling that way about yourself?
Sorry if that's trite. I hope you're ok, and that you find a med that helps. They can do the most wonderful things.
ShortE
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