Shown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Shortelise on May 17, 2005, at 13:21:15
I can't quite tell at the moment if I am in a sort of low grade depression.
Does that happen to anyone else, and if so, what are your signs that you might be depressed.
My house is a wreck, and I am having a very hard time keeping myself clean. My energy is always low, so that isn't a good gauge. Not crying. I am managing to cook meals (yes, I always wash my hands thoroughly beforehand :-). In the past few days, I have done laundry, ironed, grocery shopped, but haven't been able to get myself to do the monthly financial stuff, which is now late and VERY important.
I am going to force myself as soon as I finish this note. I am also going to meet a friend for coffee this afternoon at a cafe about a mile from here and I'll walk. Bath, bank, walk. Not too much for one day, I hope. If it is, I'll just prepare the financial stuff and actually do it tomorrow.
I just wonder if/how others experience this.
Thanks. I so appreciate that I have people to ask about these things.
ShortE
Posted by sunny10 on May 17, 2005, at 13:50:22
In reply to Depression - how do you tell?, posted by Shortelise on May 17, 2005, at 13:21:15
I do the same thing all the time...
People keep telling me to exercise, and I DO if there is someone there to do it WITH, but I can never manage to stir up enthusiasm to do it when I'm by myself (which, of course, is all the time now that my SO and I live separately again and my son chose to live with his father full time).
Depression is so cyclical that I can't figure out if my laziness leads to depression or if the depression makes me lazy...
I'm sure I'm not HELPING, per se, but maybe you at least don't feel alone in this???
Posted by Shortelise on May 17, 2005, at 13:57:07
In reply to Re: Depression - how do you tell? » Shortelise, posted by sunny10 on May 17, 2005, at 13:50:22
It **is** a help, Sunny. Thanks.ShortE
Posted by sunny10 on May 17, 2005, at 14:42:48
In reply to Re: Depression - how do you tell?, posted by Shortelise on May 17, 2005, at 13:57:07
if only I could help... then I could help myself, too!!!!
how 'bout a hug?
((((((((((((((((((ShortE)))))))))))))
Posted by Poet on May 17, 2005, at 19:16:49
In reply to Depression - how do you tell?, posted by Shortelise on May 17, 2005, at 13:21:15
Hi ShortE,
I start losing my ability to make decisions, even simple ones like what to wear or eat. It's not like I start crying over simple things, I just can't do simple things. Does that make sense?
Poet
Posted by Dinah on May 17, 2005, at 20:14:34
In reply to Depression - how do you tell?, posted by Shortelise on May 17, 2005, at 13:21:15
I can usually tell. For me suicidal ideation is a real tipoff. Plus there's just this bottomless feeling in my gut. Then I just count the time, well I really don't. But after it's over I read Babble or talk to my therapist and find out how long it's been. Sometimes my therapist tells me. If it's a long enough period of time, I'll count it as depressed.
My therapist really thinks the not bathing or washing my hair is a huge sign of depression. I guess it is. I've never really paid attention. I just take it day to day.
Oh yeah. If I start thinking I might go back on Luvox, I know I must be depressed.
I've only had three really really long ones. Most of mine are over in a couple of weeks to a month. Especially now I'm in therapy.
It sounds to me as if you're depressed. Do your depressions usually last long? Therapy helps me so much with mine.
Posted by daisym on May 17, 2005, at 23:10:53
In reply to Re: Depression - how do you tell? » Shortelise, posted by Dinah on May 17, 2005, at 20:14:34
I work hard and furiously and then crash and burn. I can't moderate myself. I panic, catch up and then slide into the corner again.
I also find that I skip meetings and avoid people. I don't eat, or I eat COW or cinnamon sugar toast.
The biggest sign for me is that I'm constantly in my own head about everything. I write and think and write but I have nothing to say out loud.
Funny, I always shower, iron my clothes, do makeup, hair, etc. It is so ingrained I can't imagine not doing it.
I hope you feel better soon.
Posted by caraher on May 18, 2005, at 12:51:56
In reply to Depression - how do you tell?, posted by Shortelise on May 17, 2005, at 13:21:15
Elise, I have that happen quite a lot... along with the indecision Poet mentioned (especially about food... whether to eat, whether to go to the store, whether to buy something at the store. Sometimes I come home empty-handed). My T generally helps me realize that I should treat myself under the assumption that this is indeed depression-related behavior. That means things like your walk should not be discounted... sounds like a pretty good day to me given how you're doing overall. Keep meeting friends and doing things and count what you *do*, not all the things someone not depressed would be able to do.
On exercise... as Sunny mentioned, motivation is hard. My T basically prescribed that I join a health club, and the one in town has a deal where for the first 12 weeks you periodically meet with a trainer. I've found this has given me enough structure and monitoring to keep me going even when I don't feel like it (it would be embarassing to pay to go there *and* let the trainer down). Other than that most of my exercise over the years has come through playing hockey. No matter how depressed I've gotten I've never missed a hockey game to depression because there's such a strong expectation that you'll be there. So see what you can do to generate some social pressure to be active - I know it works for me. The hard part is figuring out how to do that...
Posted by pinkeye on May 18, 2005, at 18:53:23
In reply to Depression - how do you tell?, posted by Shortelise on May 17, 2005, at 13:21:15
For me it has been,
1. Crying spells
2. Sleeplessness
3. Jealousy of others
4. Blaming God and my parents and my husband for having things in my life the way they are
5. Anger at my husband
6. Irritation
7. Loss of weight and appetite
8. Intense rumination
9. Extreme anger at everything
10.Desperation and not fearIt doesn't affect my cognitive abilities. Not so far.
Posted by Shortelise on May 18, 2005, at 19:32:14
In reply to Re: Depression - how do you tell? » Shortelise, posted by pinkeye on May 18, 2005, at 18:53:23
I love the term "intense rumination".
ShortE
Posted by Shortelise on May 18, 2005, at 19:32:43
In reply to Re: Depression - how do you tell?, posted by sunny10 on May 17, 2005, at 14:42:48
Posted by Shortelise on May 18, 2005, at 19:33:39
In reply to Re: Depression - how do you tell?, posted by Poet on May 17, 2005, at 19:16:49
It makes lots of sense, Poet. The decision thing gets me, too.
Thanks
ShortE
Posted by Shortelise on May 18, 2005, at 19:42:19
In reply to Re: Depression - how do you tell? » Shortelise, posted by Dinah on May 17, 2005, at 20:14:34
That "bottomless" feeling in the gut - that sounds like anxiety as I experience it.
If therapy has allowed me to recognize and on somelevel deal with these small depression as they come, that's a blessing.
ShortE
Posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 8:22:44
In reply to Depression - how do you tell?, posted by Shortelise on May 17, 2005, at 13:21:15
> I can't quite tell at the moment if I am in a sort of low grade depression.
>
> Does that happen to anyone else, and if so, what are your signs that you might be depressed.
>
> My house is a wreck, and I am having a very hard time keeping myself clean. My energy is always low, so that isn't a good gauge. Not crying. I am managing to cook meals (yes, I always wash my hands thoroughly beforehand :-). In the past few days, I have done laundry, ironed, grocery shopped, but haven't been able to get myself to do the monthly financial stuff, which is now late and VERY important.
>
> I am going to force myself as soon as I finish this note. I am also going to meet a friend for coffee this afternoon at a cafe about a mile from here and I'll walk. Bath, bank, walk. Not too much for one day, I hope. If it is, I'll just prepare the financial stuff and actually do it tomorrow.
>
> I just wonder if/how others experience this.
>
> Thanks. I so appreciate that I have people to ask about these things.
>
> ShortEI hope you are feeling better soon, sounds like you're doing as much as you can, and are prioritizing. I find that exercise keeps me sane. I get to feeling like a trapped animal if I don't. Hope the coffee with a friend is fun.
Jazzed
Posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 8:24:20
In reply to Re: Depression - how do you tell?, posted by Poet on May 17, 2005, at 19:16:49
> Hi ShortE,
>
> I start losing my ability to make decisions, even simple ones like what to wear or eat. It's not like I start crying over simple things, I just can't do simple things. Does that make sense?
>
> PoetYep, makes a lot of sense. It's like all your energy is going into the low mood, and your ability to think about the small things is gone.
(((((((HUGS))))))))
Jazzed
Posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 8:27:16
In reply to Re: Depression - how do you tell?, posted by daisym on May 17, 2005, at 23:10:53
I eat COW or cinnamon sugar toast.
>
> The biggest sign for me is that I'm constantly in my own head about everything. I write and think and write but I have nothing to say out loud.
>
> Funny, I always shower, iron my clothes, do makeup, hair, etc. It is so ingrained I can't imagine not doing it.
>
> I hope you feel better soon.
>
>
This is me too daisy. And, I hate it when I'm in my head about everything, makes the anxiety go way up too!
Jazzed
Posted by sunny10 on May 19, 2005, at 9:09:51
In reply to Re: Depression - how do you tell?, posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 8:27:16
Posted by Shortelise on May 19, 2005, at 14:20:46
In reply to Re: Depression - how do you tell?, posted by daisym on May 17, 2005, at 23:10:53
Thanks Daisy.
We are all so different. I mean, I DO NOT lose my appetite. And I can easily go to the store without washing my face that day. And I can't seem to write in my journal, except short things like "bad dreams" or "bad day".
I'm ok right now. Not a shining example of glorious mental health, but I'm ok. Thanks.
ShortE
Posted by Shortelise on May 19, 2005, at 14:25:03
In reply to Re: Depression - how do you tell? » Shortelise, posted by Jazzed on May 19, 2005, at 8:22:44
Others tell me that exercise is the only way they manage to be sane, functional people. I know my shrink exercises to keep his sanity, and he'd have a lot of stress to work off!
Thanks Jazzed.
ShortE
Posted by Shortelise on May 19, 2005, at 19:25:08
In reply to Re: Depression - how do you tell?, posted by Shortelise on May 19, 2005, at 14:25:03
Posted by Jazzed on May 20, 2005, at 5:58:34
In reply to Re: Depression - how do you tell?, posted by Shortelise on May 19, 2005, at 14:25:03
> Others tell me that exercise is the only way they manage to be sane, functional people. I know my shrink exercises to keep his sanity, and he'd have a lot of stress to work off!
>
> Thanks Jazzed.
>
> ShortEHey ShortE,
I don't lose my appetite either! Unfortunately. And, I'm overweight as it is. I DO have to pretty much force myself to exercise, but always feel better afterwards. If I put the CD player on it energizes me and gets me going.
(((Hugs)))
Jazzed
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