Shown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by 10derHeart on April 11, 2005, at 15:14:42
A few weeks ago, I had the following dream about my T.
I was in a grocery store, near the meat counter. For some reason, it was huge (minds OUT of the gutter, now...), i.e., it stretched from left to right, and in front of me, into infinity almost. I saw my T. walking toward me, on my left side. He started looking down into the meat case, like I was, and then I spoke to him. Don't know what I said, but he wouldn't answer. Totally ignored me. Oh, and he was wearing a long, black trench coat (gosh this now sounds a bit perverse ;-)) - not something I've seen him wear IRL. I had the distinct impression he had ALL the rest of his clothes on under this coat - thank goodness!
Anyway, it was as if I was invisible and he was deaf. No response. I think I even tugged on his coat sleeve to try to get him to look at me. In the dream, I remember thinking indignantly, "how rude!" Next, he walked away, to the left side of the store, and joined some other people, all wearing long coats, too. They started talking, and though they were extremely far from me, I could hear what he said (not the others). They were glancing my way, and looking sort of sad, or puzzled. He said to them, " Why do people always assume I'm still doing that?"
That was it. I told my T. the dream about 3 weeks ago. He was fairly interested. He's the type who will NOT interpret, but very much wants you to. (Well, if I push him hard, he might offer up a little bit, but he's really cautious about planting ideas in my head.) He seemed the most fascinated by the statement he made in the dream, and in fact had me repeat it twice so he could write it down word-for-word.
I told him this all was a no brainer. I even criticized myself for not bringing in a vague, weird dream we couldn't figure out (an uninteresting client=bad client, old issue) To me, it's obvious I was/am a little worried he isn't always listening to me the way I want, and also that he might suddenly cut down my sessions, or even decide to retire. And, as far as his statement goes, I think it was him indicating he's not doing therapy any more, or at least not for me, and wondering why I talked to him as if he was going to "answer" (that is, like a therapist would/should).
It made sense, as we'd already talked about me feeling a little disconnected from him, and why that might be. The thing I didn't like was that when I asked him if retiring was a possibilty (he's not that old, but had a bad accident a couple years ago - he doesn't know I know about - that I heard caused him to cut back his practice...so I think I'm wondering about all that..)instead of talking about it with me, he ignored the question. I think he thought it was rhetorical, the way I phrased it. I'll have to bring it up again, probably. Abandonment fears in full swing there - which is a central issue in my therapy anyway. Duh.
Wonder why, after not dreaming at all for almost a year, my brain would come up with such a silly, obvious scenario? Seems a bit useless, not to mention boring. Just thought I'd throw it out here. Any comments or observations by Babblers are more than welcome.
I have a T-related daydream (no, not THAT kind) I had just a few days ago that's even more obvious and ridiculous...maye I'll post that next....
Posted by Tamar on April 11, 2005, at 17:22:16
In reply to Obvious T. Dream, posted by 10derHeart on April 11, 2005, at 15:14:42
I'm curious that on the one hand you say the dream was obvious, but on the other hand you seem to find it a little disturbing. Is there anything going on in therapy (apart from your fears of abandonment) that you think he's not hearing or understanding?
I dream of my former T often, and he never ever speaks to me in my dreams, but he doesn't exactly ignore me; it's just that we don't really connect. So I'm interested that in your dream, not only did your T actually refuse to acknowledge you, he then went and spoke to other people about you. Are you concerned about confidentiality at all? Or could it be related to *your* knowledge about his accident? That's maybe something you're not supposed to know (even though it's probably not a big deal that you do know). But is it a burden to keep your knowledge of it under your hat, so to speak?
Maybe it would help if you told him you know about his accident and you're worried he might be thinking of retiring - especially since he did actually deny you an answer to your direct question.
As for the long black coat - I don't know about you, but I always associate long black coats with having a mission, perhaps a mission to save the world (e.g. Angel and Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Trinity in The Matrix). People in long black coats are often mysterious figures; they hide their innermost thoughts, but they seem to be troubled. They have hidden depths. Very appropriate attire for a therapist - should be standard issue!
And please do share your daydreams... especially THAT kind! I will if you will!
Tamar
Posted by happyflower on April 11, 2005, at 17:28:49
In reply to Re: Obvious T. Dream » 10derHeart, posted by Tamar on April 11, 2005, at 17:22:16
Long black coat remind me of death or he is hiding something or himself. Believe me I am not a expert! lol
No, No, I am not going to tell about my dream about T! lol No, not ever! lol
Posted by pinkeye on April 12, 2005, at 15:08:21
In reply to Obvious T. Dream, posted by 10derHeart on April 11, 2005, at 15:14:42
But didn't you stop seeing him about 8 months back? Are you seeing a new T now?
That coat reminds me of Harry Potter.
Posted by Susan47 on April 12, 2005, at 21:30:27
In reply to Obvious T. Dream, posted by 10derHeart on April 11, 2005, at 15:14:42
The counter could represent a phallus because of its' shape and the fact that the centre section stretched almost to infinity ... it's a "meat" counter ... well now why on earth would you dream a T-shaped Meat counter? Why not vegetables? No, the meat means something all right. And the black trench coat? Isn't a trench coat typically what a flasher wears? Okay so what's he hiding? This thing that he doesn't do anymore ... maybe you suspect he's hiding something sexual about himself ... see I told you it was weird. I hope you think it's funny too, 'cause I sure do. :-)
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