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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 2 of 2. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by littleone on March 18, 2005, at 17:53:43
I've been talking to my T about secure attachments. And by that I mean the unconditional love relationship mentally healthy kids would have with their parents.
I didn't get a secure attachment as a kid (or since then) and my T says that he can provide that for me. Although I'm guessing it would be based around the old therapeutic unconditional positive regard rather than unconditional love per se.
Now the thing he says that I think is all just a crock is that you only need a secure attachment once so you get all fixed up inside. Then (providing everything goes well) all the good stuff built up inside you (I'm guessing it would be like ego strength) is enough to carry you through the rest of your life.
ie you only need the one secure attachment. You don't need to keep topping up throughout life or find a replacement secure attachment when you eventually leave your T.
And rememeber, by secure attachment, I mean the unconditional love thing. I'm not referring to close friends/spouse/etc who would probably provide a conditional type of love/caring. Obviously you need to have these types of relationships ongoing throughout your life.
But I just find this so hard to believe. What do you guys all think?
Posted by pinkeye on March 18, 2005, at 18:43:17
In reply to Secure Attachment - a one off thing?, posted by littleone on March 18, 2005, at 17:53:43
I think we all need a little bit of unconditional attachment and liking all the time in our lives. But maybe we don't need it all from one particular person. Once we have something pretty strong and fulfilling from one person with whom you connect deeply, then you can go by yourseves, and live with gathering that unconditional attachment little bit from everyone around you.
It doesn't have to be all from one particular person forever - just once. Like, you need a bachelors degree for being a professional, but once you become a professional, you don't need to a college again to learn stuff - but you can learn stuff from different avenues - work, casual reading, listening, experience etc. I guess that is what he means.
And replacing God in that place of always providing you secure attachment has been helpful for me. Don't know if that works for you.
This is the end of the thread.
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