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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rubenstein on January 12, 2005, at 9:57:10
I am having a really hard time lately. I have this big audition for a doctoral program on Friday and I feel that I have way to much personal investment in it. I can't seem to process what I would do if I don't get in, which is certainly a possibility. I have put off all of my suicidal thinking until this audition is over and here it is....Friday....and I feel so lost. I've talked to my T about this and he is worried and scheduled another appointment with me for Thursday, then he wants me to go to walk-ins with another therapist on Friday because he will be gone. I know I should be with people but I just want to be alone after all of this. I also deal with SI and have been pretty good about it lately, but how can I get through this week without it. I wish I wasn't such a perfecitonist. It is easy to see the inadequacies in your thinking but hard to feel differntly about yourself. I guess that is waht therapy is for. Sorry for the rant, just needed to vent I guess.
rubenstein
Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2005, at 20:25:04
In reply to difficult times may trigger, posted by rubenstein on January 12, 2005, at 9:57:10
I'm not sure what to say without feeling like a hypocrite. So I'll just say that I understand how you're feeling, and I hope it gets better soon. The worst does pass. Not forever, but it passes.
Posted by Speaker on January 12, 2005, at 20:59:47
In reply to Re: difficult times may trigger » rubenstein, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2005, at 20:25:04
Sorry you're under such stress. I know for me these times make things worse too. I hope you find the energy to stay in contact with your T and do go to the T he has for you on Friday. I will keep you in my prayers and I hope to hear how your week goes.
Posted by rubenstein on January 13, 2005, at 9:58:52
In reply to difficult times may trigger, posted by rubenstein on January 12, 2005, at 9:57:10
Thanks for your messages. I am still fighting the panic demons today, I just wish tomorrow was over already
rubenstein
Posted by gardenergirl on January 13, 2005, at 19:03:20
In reply to Re: difficult times may trigger, posted by rubenstein on January 13, 2005, at 9:58:52
I can relate a tiny bit because when I had to do my comps I was very very anxious. I did a number of things:
deep breathing and meditating
preparation, of course
wearing something I felt really confident looked good
wearing my grandmother's ring to remind me I was loved no matter what
drinking chammomile tea beforehand
Oh, and putting on a big ol' vat of "psychological sunscreen" because I'm sensitive and I tend to "burn" easy.Good luck to you. I'm sending you virtual psych sunscreen. Let us know how it goes. You'll do great!
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on January 14, 2005, at 16:58:01
In reply to Re: difficult times may trigger, posted by gardenergirl on January 13, 2005, at 19:03:20
Posted by rubenstein on January 15, 2005, at 13:39:29
In reply to Rubenstein, How did it go? (nm), posted by gardenergirl on January 14, 2005, at 16:58:01
Thanks for wondering....
Things went pretty well, being that I knwo all of my professors the whole situation is a tad bit odd. They said they were very proud of me and that I had made a lot of progress so that is good. I don't know anything yet and don't know when I will know so that is a little frustrating. I thought my suicidal feeling would go away after the audition but they are really bad today. I promised my therapist that I wouldn't hurt or kill myself....I didn't realize how hard that pact was going to be. We made a plan to try to get through the weekend and I am trying hard to abide by it. This is so hard....
Posted by gardenergirl on January 15, 2005, at 18:59:22
In reply to Re: Rubenstein, How did it go?, posted by rubenstein on January 15, 2005, at 13:39:29
Stick with your plan. I know it's hard, but you'll get through this. I'm glad it went well, and I hope you hear good news very soon.
Take care,
gg
This is the end of the thread.
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