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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rubenstein on August 3, 2004, at 9:10:09
Hi, I am pretty new to the board and to the whole therapy process, thus I was looking for some insight that y'all might have into the therapist/client relationship. Every week, we have to talk about my feelings toward the seession and him (my therapist). I really like him and trust his knowledge about things, I also recognize the confines of the relationship and the boundaries that are present. I never know what to say. I would like to thank him but am so afraid that that gesture would be taken some other way. Does anyone else talk about their relationship with their therapist. Is it normal to feel uncomfortable talking about such things. Does the comfort come later as I progress through therapy? Is tis part of the process? Many thanks in advance for any insight you can share.
Rubenstein
Posted by Dinah on August 3, 2004, at 9:36:16
In reply to talking about the client patient relationship, posted by rubenstein on August 3, 2004, at 9:10:09
I think the amount of emphasis on the relationship varies widely between types of therapies. There are some therapies that concentrate a great deal on the relationship, and others (like CBT) that touch on it only lightly.
Have you read the book "In Session"? It's a very helpful book.
I'm trying to remember if I felt uncomfortable talking about my relationship with my therapist. I think at first, I mainly talked about negative stuff and I wasn't a bit uncomfortable. When I started sharing positive feelings for him, I was horrendously uncomfortable. But he knew how to handle both with grace and professionalism, and I no longer feel uncomfortable with either.
It never has to be an all or none proposition. I always disclosed in steps (about anything, not just our relationship), checked his reaction, then disclosed more. I think thanking him would be a reasonable step. It's hard to think of thanking someone as being terribly inappropriate. Is there something about thanking him that you think he might take wrong?
Posted by AuntieMel on August 3, 2004, at 10:22:09
In reply to talking about the client patient relationship, posted by rubenstein on August 3, 2004, at 9:10:09
I think if you ask ten people here, you'll get fourteen different takes!
I have no clue what 'method' my therapist uses. It seems to be a combination of a lot of things. This same topic came up (I rose it) a couple of weeks ago because I see that a lot of people here have very close relationships and I was wondering if I wasn't participating enough to get full benefit.
It turned out that he wasn't expecting things to get emotionally close, and I wasn't wanting it to be too close so we are a good fit in that matter.
And I feel more comfortable with him now that the expectations are out in the open.
FYI it took me over a year to get to where I'd talk about anything personal and another one to get to discussing this issue. Not his fault - I have huge trust issues.
Posted by DaisyM on August 3, 2004, at 17:30:34
In reply to talking about the client patient relationship, posted by rubenstein on August 3, 2004, at 9:10:09
It is hard to know what to say and not to say, isn't it? But I think a thank you is OK, I guess it depends on why you want to say it.
My therapist is all about the relationship. It was really hard for me when he first started asking direct questions because it feels like admitting stuff I usually keep to myself. Plus, my feelings get intensely complicated about therapy, him and how I feel about myself in different states.
I don't think it is unusual but not all therapists work this way. They might only talk about the relationship if something is wrong, or if the client brings it up...or they might not talk about it at all. Some feel it is really important that you become attached to them and your therapy and some don't seem to think this is necessary at all.
If it makes you uncomfortable, you should say so. It will probably lead to a productive discussion about disclosing your feelings and might help you look at what it is you are hoping to get from therapy.
You will probably get lots of opinions on this questions. That is what is so great about Babble. Welcome!
Posted by mair on August 3, 2004, at 21:41:28
In reply to Re: talking about the client patient relationship » rubenstein, posted by DaisyM on August 3, 2004, at 17:30:34
Lately it seems as if my therapist wants to talk about nothing other than our relationship. It is very anxiety producing and uncomfortable for me. I've been seeing my therapist for several years, and while sometimes it seems as if these discussions never get easier, my therapist thinks I'm more willing to stick with a relationship discussion no matter how uncomfortable, and I guess she's probably right.
Her approach is very psychodynamic. She used to do alot of CBT with me and then decided it wasn't really going to be very effective. The others are right - you're going to get all kinds of different answers, because there are so many therapeutic approaches, and I think the level of discomfort with this kind of issue varies from person to person.
I'm also with Dinah - I can't think of many circumstances where a thank you would be inappropriate.
Mair
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