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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by NikkiT2 on October 9, 2003, at 12:13:20
Augist 2002 I started weekly CBT session with a clinical psychologist, Maggie. Maggie was wonderful, we bonded brilliantly and I enjoyed my session with her, as well as the CBT work we did together working fantastically. When I felt bad I could tell her why, and she always helped me sort things out when they felt bad.
Anyway, Maggie left in May to have a baby, and I was re-assigned to Lorna. Lorna decided we only needed to see each other monthly, so I have seen her 3 times in total so far. I just don't feel anything toward her what so ever.. I find her dull, and she sticks really rigidly to the CBT guide book, and we never stray from just working on self esteem using CBT. I don't feel I actually get any support from her, and I'm not getting anything from my sessions anymore. Infact I dread them.I'm in the UK so simply changing therapists isn't an option for me. I'm just really lost at the moment.
Any great words of advice??!
Thanks
Nikki x
Posted by Adia on October 9, 2003, at 12:35:38
In reply to Not bonding with new CBT therapist, posted by NikkiT2 on October 9, 2003, at 12:13:20
Hi Nikki,
I am sorry you are feeling that you are not getting anywhere with your new therapist..
Was she supposed to work with you temporarily and Maggie would return after having the baby? From your post I understand that she's not coming back, so I think that you should really talk to your new therapist and get an understanding of the work she wants to do with you and explain to her your needs too...
Have you talked to your new therapist and explained to her how you're feeling or what you expect from your sessions?
I think that I would try to tell her how I am feeling and how I feel that so far there's something lacking or I am not feeling well..?
Do you feel that seeing her once a month is enough for you?
I would try to talk to her honestly about how I am feeling and what my needs are at the moment and what I feel I am needing...and see how she reacts to that...when are you seeing her next?
Maybe she thinks that this is helping you and she doesn't know how you are truly feeling...I think it is important that you tell her how you are feeling...and what you feel your needs are.
Maybe you need to see her more often to be able to build some trust with her?hope this helps a tiny bit, I just wanted to reach out to you :o)
sending you lots of support,
take gentle care of yourself,
Adia.
> Augist 2002 I started weekly CBT session with a clinical psychologist, Maggie. Maggie was wonderful, we bonded brilliantly and I enjoyed my session with her, as well as the CBT work we did together working fantastically. When I felt bad I could tell her why, and she always helped me sort things out when they felt bad.
> Anyway, Maggie left in May to have a baby, and I was re-assigned to Lorna. Lorna decided we only needed to see each other monthly, so I have seen her 3 times in total so far. I just don't feel anything toward her what so ever.. I find her dull, and she sticks really rigidly to the CBT guide book, and we never stray from just working on self esteem using CBT. I don't feel I actually get any support from her, and I'm not getting anything from my sessions anymore. Infact I dread them.
>
> I'm in the UK so simply changing therapists isn't an option for me. I'm just really lost at the moment.
>
> Any great words of advice??!
>
> Thanks
>
> Nikki x
Posted by HannahW on October 9, 2003, at 13:35:27
In reply to Re: Not bonding with new CBT therapist » NikkiT2, posted by Adia on October 9, 2003, at 12:35:38
It's hard to bond with someone you see so infrequently. I think Adia's advice is right on. Talk to her about what you feel like you need, and how you're not getting anything out of therapy. Do you think a bond is necessary in order to get anything out of therapy? Or is she just not a skilled therapist? What is it about the sessions that you dread?
Posted by Dinah on October 9, 2003, at 20:04:57
In reply to Not bonding with new CBT therapist, posted by NikkiT2 on October 9, 2003, at 12:13:20
I'm sorry, Nikki. I'm forever grateful for therapist choice and availability in this country.
Since you're stuck with her, is there any way to improve the relationship? Let's do some brainstorming.
Posted by fallsfall on October 11, 2003, at 0:51:38
In reply to Re: Not bonding with new CBT therapist, posted by Dinah on October 9, 2003, at 20:04:57
Your therapist sounds like she views her role as more of a teacher than as a relationship. From what I've read, every form of therapy (with the possible exception of short term behavioral therapy) values the relationship.
I would particularly talk about the lack of support. Maybe you could describe a time when your former therapist was able to give you support so your new therapist can be sure to understand what you are looking for.
If your style and your therapist's style really don't match, then can you therapist refer you to someone else? I'm guessing that you can't initiate a change, but maybe she could.
Definately tell her how you feel.
Posted by NikkiT2 on October 13, 2003, at 11:03:38
In reply to Re: Not bonding with new CBT therapist, posted by fallsfall on October 11, 2003, at 0:51:38
Therapist called me this morning.. She asked how I had been doing recently (its been over 2 months since I've seen her due to mess ups!) and I just said "not too bad" (total lie, but its easiest!).. obviously my tone of voice said something as she went quite for a few seconds and said she could see me next monday, and we could discuss it then.
I don't know what to say to her though.. I don't want to come across as a whiny little kid, but I do need more support than she is giving me right now. I realise that we need to stick to the CBT stuff, but I do need something more than that right now.
I just want Maggie back *sighs* Maggie was perfect for me.. never put down what i said, and seemed to understand exactly what I was saying when I was having problems saying it. I miss her so much.
Oh heavens.. now I'm all worried I;m going to hurt my therpaists feelings!! *l*
Niki xx
Posted by karen_kay on October 13, 2003, at 18:02:34
In reply to She called me!! » fallsfall, posted by NikkiT2 on October 13, 2003, at 11:03:38
How odd, I worry and fret that I too will hurt my therapist's feelings. I seem to have become more assertive and have begun speaking up more and caring less about possibly hurting his feelings. Take for instance if he becomes long-winded, now I just yawn and he tends to finish his sentence and pick up a new train of thought. I think as you begin to work more with her, you will begin to care even less about hurting her feelings and may even like this approach more! Good luck!
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