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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by NthnBrazil on October 5, 2006, at 12:30:45
Greetings -
Stumbled onto this site looking for some help with questions about therapy since I'm new to it. Just to give you some info about me, I decided to start seeing a therapist because of constant anxiety over everything. I have been a "worryer" for years and just kind of carried on, but in the last year its gotten intense. I worry over my job, my house, my family, just everything.
Anyway, it finally got to a point where I decided I needed to talk to someone and with my wife's encouragement I found a therapist locally and have seen him twice now. The first meeting was mostly answering a bunch of standard questions and talking a little about myself, which I expected.
But in the second session he just kind of asked an open ended question and let me ramble. I would speak for a while and then we would be silent for a long time, nodding(felt like at least 30 seconds). Eventually he would make some comment like "that sounds like its a problem for you". So , taking his lead I would pick up the conversation again for a couple of minutes, and at the next break more silence & nodding. By the end of the session the only thing I got from him of any substance was "it sounds like you have difficulty self-soothing", which of course, I agreed with.
So here is my question: Is this what its going to be like the whole time or is this just sort of a get-to-know-you period at the beginning while he figures out where I'm coming from? Don't get me wrong, I didn't expect to get "fixed" in the first session, I just want to know what I'm in for.
Originally I was interested in a CBT or REBT approach which I had researched a little online, but after interviewing with the practice (its a group practice that's part of a hospital, so they have therapists of all kinds available) they assigned me to someone who uses a "psychodynamics" method. I looked into that online as well and saw its more of the traditional psycho-therapy style I would have imagined before hearing about CBT or REBT. Now I don't know if I should push to follow my first instinct and switch to a different therapist, or acknowledge that I don't really know how it works and just go with this guy. If it stays the same throughout I feel like I'm going to start having anxiety over getting therapy for my anxiety. . .
Posted by alexandra_k on October 5, 2006, at 21:10:47
In reply to New to this site and therapy - have questions, posted by NthnBrazil on October 5, 2006, at 12:30:45
Hey there, welcome to Babble :-)
I found this online resource... So I'll try and construct a bit of an answer of what your t might be up to...
(This is about brief psychodynamic therapy)
> many psychotherapists do their best to put the patient at ease in the first session. Brief dynamic therapists' immediate aim is not to lower the initial anxiety, but to use it to help the patient to break through his defensive wall and to get to the core of the problem as fast as he can bear it. Therefore, anxiety-lowering explanations will be kept to a minimum. Only a minority of patients with excessive anxiety might get blocked and, therefore, unable to work with the therapist unless the anxiety is first reduced.
See the notion is...
Cognitive behaviour therapy teaches you some specific techniques for managing anxiety. Relaxation training (so you can physically relax your body) and stuff like that. Cognitive restructuring (so you can see what kinds of thoughts are causing your anxiety) and stuff like that.
Psychodynamic therapy views anxiety as the result of mental conflict. So the notion is that one has to get to the mental conflict in order to resolve the anxiety. But the trouble is that people have a variety of defences so they aren't aware of the mental conflict. So therapy is about... Getting through those defences to what it is that you are afraid of so that once it is held up to light... The fear kind of resolves.
Your t might be trying to figure your defences and the kinds of anxieties you have.
Are you afraid of losing things?
Are you afraid of contaminating those things?Could be stuff like that...
When you 'ramble' you reveal quite a lot about patterns of thought and stuff like that. Sounds like he is still kind of assessing you and where you are at.
> Now I don't know if I should push to follow my first instinct and switch to a different therapist, or acknowledge that I don't really know how it works and just go with this guy. If it stays the same throughout I feel like I'm going to start having anxiety over getting therapy for my anxiety.
Yeah, I understand.
Some people think of cognitive behaviour therapy as a 'cover up the symptoms' approach. That being said, it does teach you some very specific techniques for dealing with your anxiety.
Psychodynamic type therapies try to get to the root of the problem. The trouble with doing that is that one needs to be able to deal with the anxiety to a certain extent to be able to cope with the treatment.
It might be that your t is still trying to assess where you are at to see where to go from here...
You might be able to ask him to teach you some of the specific CBT / REBT techniques like relaxation and cognitive restructuring. Or... You can find fairly good resources online and teach yourself.
The kind of thing he is doing is... Much harder to teach yourself. I would say... Hang in there. Maybe talk to him a bit about your concerns. Or... They reckon that session 5 is a fairly good indicator of whether things are working out or not. Maybe... See how you go around session 5. If you want to find someone else after session 5 then that might be a good time to do that.
P.S. There is a psychology board here where you are more likely to get a variety of responses by different people. Of course, you can keep chatting to me over here... But it might be nice to introduce yourself over there too.
Posted by NthnBrazil on October 6, 2006, at 5:12:42
In reply to Re: New to this site and therapy - have questions » NthnBrazil, posted by alexandra_k on October 5, 2006, at 21:10:47
Thanks for the feedback. That is pretty much what I thought, but I felt like I needed confirmation that the T wasn't going to just sit & nod at me once a week for the rest of my life. Thanks for the advice about posting on the psychology board as well. I will do that.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 6, 2006, at 9:54:23
In reply to Re: New to this site and therapy - have questions » alexandra_k, posted by NthnBrazil on October 6, 2006, at 5:12:42
> Thanks for the feedback.
Welcome :-)
> That is pretty much what I thought, but I felt like I needed confirmation that the T wasn't going to just sit & nod at me once a week for the rest of my life.
If he is still doing this around session 5 then it might indeed be time to move on...
> Thanks for the advice about posting on the psychology board as well. I will do that.
Glad you found it :-)
Posted by nutsandmore on October 24, 2006, at 10:18:45
In reply to New to this site and therapy - have questions, posted by NthnBrazil on October 5, 2006, at 12:30:45
My name is sharon, nice to meet you, I have been in therapy for 6 months, and it has been the same since the first day, I have sever anxiety, like almost a self given heart attack over worring, like driving down the road, or the house catching fire, stuff like that, that i have no controll over, after a thirty minute ride i am in tears and in the floor board. But the therapy i really wanted to help, but its not, they never give any helpfull answers they just want you to talk they nod and make short snide comments, but never do this bla bla and it will help you, after 6 months of crying and explaining my darkest secrets and bigest fears, i was laughed out of the office by the dr, because he does not beleive me, he treated my like a joke, im not saying all therapists are like that, im sure there are some that are good and caring, but i have not found one yet. Even though i am still looking, because of this site. Several people said that there are doc that will help and some that will not, just keep looking till you find one that suits you and your needs.I hope that i could help, my husband is about ready to have me commited because i am getting so bad, so seeking help is a good thing, even if it takes a while to find. I would give my right leg for a caring respectful doctor right now. If you have any questions feel free to ask. This has become my only way to vent, the people on this site have become my only friends and the closes thing to a good therapist that i can find. Good luck!!
Posted by NthnBrazil on October 24, 2006, at 10:38:44
In reply to Re: New to this site and therapy - have questions, posted by nutsandmore on October 24, 2006, at 10:18:45
Hi Sharon. I've been through 4 sessions with this guy and I think I'm ready to quit and seek out a CBT therapist. Have you thought about or tried CBT yet? Its supposed to be very good for anxiety problems and a bit more "goal oriented" than traditional therapy. I'll let you know what I discover. . .
Posted by nutsandmore on October 30, 2006, at 15:23:59
In reply to Re: New to this site and therapy - have questions, posted by NthnBrazil on October 24, 2006, at 10:38:44
I dont know cbt is, but sounds different, i dont know if we have anything like that here, we live in the back country. Here when your crazy, you drink, draw a check and stay out of the way of the public, except I havent got no legal papers for fuitcake yet, and i dont want no check, im in college, and i dont want to be out in the public, i just want to know how to make it go away.
Posted by NthnBrazil on October 30, 2006, at 17:58:06
In reply to Re: New to this site and therapy - have questions, posted by nutsandmore on October 30, 2006, at 15:23:59
CBT stands for C_ognitive B_ehavioral T_herapy. When looking for a therapist you can ask if this is their method. Its not uncommon, so it shouldn't be too hard to find someone who does it. . . .
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