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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by bambi on September 2, 2005, at 14:47:26
Hello everybody!
I've been surfing the Net today and came across this site, read some messages and was actually moved by the accounts of the fellow-suffers (if I can use these words). This is just to let you know that in a small country in Europe there is a 28-year-old fighting anxiety, depression, ocassional panic attacks, Xanax, Prozac and the like for almost ten years now. After a short period of stability, I'm feeling very low again and heading downwards which prompted my search.To brief you about my 'history' - the general feeling of occasonal unaccountable depression which had been with me ever since I was aware of myself gave way to extreme headaches at the age of 17, culminated in a sort of nervous breakdown at the age of 19 after which depression and anxiety became my everyday reality. I've been in psychotherapy since 1997 and despite being in a very bad shape tried to keep off meds as you pet them. Then in 1999, following a dreadfull panic attack I started using Xanax and a year later Prozac. My condition improved considerably: it felt like replacing an old flickering, black and white TV with a brand new color one I once was accustommed to. But I can't say it was all to do with Prozac: against all odds I was a successful English student and taking up Prozac coincided with my starting to work as an English teacher with adult classes and being in company with happy and stable people did an awful lot for me. Feeling stable in a realatioship with a very kind and supporting person, in January 2002 I went off both Xanax and Prozac which ended in a severe panic attack in April which forced me to stop teaching (although I somehow managed to pass several examinations at the faculty). I definitely felt much worse than ever before and seemingly had no option but to go back to my 'old friends' after dreadful suffering for a month and a half. My psychotherapist (the 2nd one)maintains that my condition is a result of intra psychic conflicts or indeed a personality disorder which could be relieved through therapy and that Prozac which was prescribed by my former one upon my request is actually of no use, not solving any underlying problems but just camouflaging them (which I totally agree with). So I've been off Prozac but taking my Xanax (varying from 0,25 to 1,5 mg a day) since January again. 'Bad season' this time started in June and I'm still fighting but it's getting worse and I don't know how much longer I can stand it. The thing is that I do see external factors promping this deterioration and my extremley poor way of handling everyday challenges but it doesn't help.
Oh, boy! Am I talkative! If anyone bothers to read my 'brief' I'll be very glad to receive any signs of a listening ear somewhere out there. Till then - hang in there all of you. I think that we are all extremely courageous people.
bambi
Posted by bambi on September 2, 2005, at 14:51:16
Hello everybody!
I've been surfing the Net today and came across this site, read some messages and was actually moved by the accounts of the fellow-suffers (if I can use these words). This is just to let you know that in a small country in Europe there is a 28-year-old fighting anxiety, depression, ocassional panic attacks, Xanax, Prozac and the like for almost ten years now. After a short period of stability, I'm feeling very low again and heading downwards which prompted my search.To brief you about my 'history' - the general feeling of occasonal unaccountable depression which had been with me ever since I was aware of myself gave way to extreme headaches at the age of 17, culminated in a sort of nervous breakdown at the age of 19 after which depression and anxiety became my everyday reality. I've been in psychotherapy since 1997 and despite being in a very bad shape tried to keep off meds as you pet them. Then in 1999, following a dreadfull panic attack I started using Xanax and a year later Prozac. My condition improved considerably: it felt like replacing an old flickering, black and white TV with a brand new color one I once was accustommed to. But I can't say it was all to do with Prozac: against all odds I was a successful English student and taking up Prozac coincided with my starting to work as an English teacher with adult classes and being in company with happy and stable people did an awful lot for me. Feeling stable in a realatioship with a very kind and supporting person, in January 2002 I went off both Xanax and Prozac which ended in a severe panic attack in April which forced me to stop teaching (although I somehow managed to pass several examinations at the faculty). I definitely felt much worse than ever before and seemingly had no option but to go back to my 'old friends' after dreadful suffering for a month and a half. My psychotherapist (the 2nd one)maintains that my condition is a result of intra psychic conflicts or indeed a personality disorder which could be relieved through therapy and that Prozac which was prescribed by my former one upon my request is actually of no use, not solving any underlying problems but just camouflaging them (which I totally agree with). So I've been off Prozac but taking my Xanax (varying from 0,25 to 1,5 mg a day) since January again. 'Bad season' this time started in June and I'm still fighting but it's getting worse and I don't know how much longer I can stand it. The thing is that I do see external factors promping this deterioration and my extremley poor way of handling everyday challenges but it doesn't help.
Oh, boy! Am I talkative! If anyone bothers to read my 'brief' I'll be very glad to receive any signs of a listening ear somewhere out there. Till then - hang in there all of you. I think that we are all extremely courageous people.
bambiPS Forgot to click notify of follow-ups ):
Posted by ClearSkies on September 2, 2005, at 15:34:14
In reply to new friends in depression 2, posted by bambi on September 2, 2005, at 14:51:16
Hello and welcome, Bambi! I'm no stranger to depression either, having been on and off and on and off of various SSRI's over the years until I was diagnosed several years ago as being mildly bipolar2. (Mostly major depression with some episodes of agitating mania thrown in, just enough to get fired from several jobs.) Now I'm on an SNRI (Cymbalta) and take Xanax as well to deal with anxiety and panic attacks. You have plenty of company here.
I hope you'll find this a supportive community with people who can share experiences with you.
Are you in therapy at all? I find this very helpful in learning coping skills during the "better" periods that I can rely on when I cycle into depression. As my friends here have noted, since I started posting here my recovery times have shortened during those depressive periods. I choose to see this as a combination of proper medication, and better insight into my personal triggers and how to deal with them.Nice to meet you, Bambi, and I look forward to seeing you around the boards. Do you have any questions about the site?
ClearSkies
Posted by bambi on September 3, 2005, at 15:34:47
In reply to Re: new friends in depression 2 » bambi, posted by ClearSkies on September 2, 2005, at 15:34:14
Hello ClearSkies and thank you very much for your warm welcome.(:
As far as questions about the site are concerned, I would appreciate any information you find useful because my ignorance goes as far as not even knowing what to ask. Actually I quite loved the experience of sending my message into a big anonymous void and getting a nice reply when starting my PC in the morning. (It's 11 p.m. here)
One of the things that interests me is how you came across my message. I found out about this site when some posts opened after I had entered 'Prozac withdrawl' into google. I saw some other subcategories but I, of course, chose Newbies. I suppose I could click on a link to other categories and then find messages of other people and get back to them as you did to me but I'll postpone it for a while because I'm working on a translation (which is good - because it means I'm not that bad after all).
Not to be (too) self-absorbed: how did you find about the site, how long have you been present here and how much time do you spend in this kind of communication? One of the many things that I find terrible about our condition is that we are not supposed to talk about it in the way you can talk about some other less prejudiced health conditions of physical nature. This forces me to cover up my actual feelings and I use a lot of energy on hiding how bad I feel. Even from friends and family because I bore even myself (most of all) with constant moanings.
Back to you: you say that manic phases cost you employment. I'm actually not bipolar (I feel low all the time and I don't have cycles) but I somehow thought lack of energy and concentration associated with depression would be worse for having a job than being elated.
That reminds me: are you allowed to ask personal questions about people: their profession, age, where they come from ... nothing too intrusive. I suppose you can but it's up to other person to decide how much they are willing to reveal.(?)
And yes, I'm in therapy but more about that next time if you're interested. Well, it's psycho-analytically oriented. Yours sounds more like cognitive-biheviourist (I read something about it once upon a time). As a matter of fact we don't have much choice of a therapy around here. (I got the impression that (the majority) of people from the community are from the States.
Thanks once again. Hope to hear from you soon. (Honestly - I wanted to write a short message (:)
Bambi (scared and fragile animal but capable of growing into someone stronger)
Posted by ClearSkies on September 3, 2005, at 17:44:53
In reply to Re: new friends in depression 2, posted by bambi on September 3, 2005, at 15:34:47
> As far as questions about the site are concerned, I would appreciate any information you find useful because my ignorance goes as far as not even knowing what to ask.
Well, this site is set up with several boards covering separate topics. You can see them listed at the top and bottom of your screens. By clicking on whichever board you'd like to read, you'll be looking at that board and all the threads and posts on it. I do a lot of reading (and a lot of posting!!) as I am not employed; I isolate myself quite a bit, and I do rely on this site for a great deal of my support, and also for information.
> One of the things that interests me is how you came across my message.
I happen to be an official "greeter" of newcomers to the site - a volunteer, if you like, and a guide if you need it for navigating around the site. I check here every day for Newbies and try not to let anyone sit here for too long unacknowledged.
> Not to be (too) self-absorbed: how did you find about the site, how long have you been present here and how much time do you spend in this kind of communication?
About 2 years ago I did a google search on Effexor side effects and stumbled across this site. In addition to my mental illness I also struggle with subtance abuse, and this site has a board for discussing these issues as well. It's been a great fit for me!! I have made many friends here, and have been fortunate enough to even meet some face to face.
One of the many things that I find terrible about our condition is that we are not supposed to talk about it in the way you can talk about some other less prejudiced health conditions of physical nature. This forces me to cover up my actual feelings and I use a lot of energy on hiding how bad I feel. Even from friends and family because I bore even myself (most of all) with constant moanings.
>
Exactly!! There is freedom here in our anonymity; in being able to discuss our various experiences honestly, and in having a safe place to vent our frustrations and pain. Dr Bob, who administers the site, is cautious to make this a safe place for ALL, so when you get a chance, please review the FAQ pages and let me know if you have any questions about civility or any other subjects.> Back to you: you say that manic phases cost you employment. I'm actually not bipolar (I feel low all the time and I don't have cycles) but I somehow thought lack of energy and concentration associated with depression would be worse for having a job than being elated.
>
Well, in my manic phases I unfortunately feel taller, slimmer, and *smarter* than other people, so I have been fired for insubordination when I told my boss, or the owner, or the owner's daughter, just how stupid I thought they really were and how much better a job I could do of running the company than they could. At my last position I quit before they had a chance to tell me to leave...> That reminds me: are you allowed to ask personal questions about people: their profession, age, where they come from ... nothing too intrusive. I suppose you can but it's up to other person to decide how much they are willing to reveal.(?)
>
Exactly. Many people here are attracted to the site for the exact reason of the anonymity that if offers. So if you ask someone a personal question and don't get a response, please don't be offended. (By the way, I am 42-almost-43, female, and a former administrative assistant. I'm a Canadian citizen who lives in the USA.)> And yes, I'm in therapy but more about that next time if you're interested. Well, it's psycho-analytically oriented. Yours sounds more like cognitive-biheviourist (I read something about it once upon a time). As a matter of fact we don't have much choice of a therapy around here. (I got the impression that (the majority) of people from the community are from the States.
>
That's true, I think Dr Bob has a page of statistics about where everyone posts from somewhere here.
> Thanks once again. Hope to hear from you soon. (Honestly - I wanted to write a short message (:)
>
> Bambi (scared and fragile animal but capable of growing into someone stronger)
>
>
That is such a positive statement!! I look forward to seeing your posts on the boards here. Take good care,
ClearSkies>
Posted by Dominique on September 9, 2005, at 21:23:00
In reply to new friends in depression, posted by bambi on September 2, 2005, at 14:47:26
Bambi, welcome aboard. Just know that you are not alone in all your dark days and brighter ones. Many of us here go through what you do also and are on the same meds as you.
(((Dom)))
Posted by bambi on September 18, 2005, at 15:17:53
In reply to Re: new friends in depression, posted by Dominique on September 9, 2005, at 21:23:00
> Bambi, welcome aboard. Just know that you are not alone in all your dark days and brighter ones. Many of us here go through what you do also and are on the same meds as you.
> (((Dom)))Hi, Dominique!
Thanks for responding and sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I haven't had much time (nor energy) for 'hanging around' the site. I'm trying to stay 'afloat' at work despite the current deterioration in my condition and it's been really hard.
I'd like to know a little bit of your personal history in struggling with our 'affliction' or other details about you if you don't mind.
I think I'll also start a new thread to ask about Prozac withdrawal symptoms. I've been off Prozac for 9 months now and I wouldn't say that my current depression aren't actually withdrawal symptoms but just continuation of what had been on before I started taking it. My psychiatrist claims I can get well through therapy (I've been on therapy for 8 years now). In her opinion, meds are just concealing the real problems (at least in my case). She believes I can cope with t5his immense suffering but unfortunately I don't shaer her view on that. I've ben trying to lead a 'normal' life despite my condition: I completed my studies, I have a job, a boyfriend, friends ... but I'm not sure I'll be able to maintain all that or have a child one day.
How's your life in that respect?
I look forward to hearing from you.
PS I have to apologize for my English- if you bothered to read my note you know I'm not a native speaker and I don't think or check much while writing. Oh, one more thing: how did you come across my 'post'? Are you also a part of the 'welcoming committee'?
bambi
Posted by bambi on September 18, 2005, at 15:33:42
In reply to Re: new friends in depression 2 » bambi, posted by ClearSkies on September 3, 2005, at 17:44:53
> > As far as questions about the site are concerned, I would appreciate any information you find useful because my ignorance goes as far as not even knowing what to ask.
>
> Well, this site is set up with several boards covering separate topics. You can see them listed at the top and bottom of your screens. By clicking on whichever board you'd like to read, you'll be looking at that board and all the threads and posts on it. I do a lot of reading (and a lot of posting!!) as I am not employed; I isolate myself quite a bit, and I do rely on this site for a great deal of my support, and also for information.
>
> > One of the things that interests me is how you came across my message.
>
> I happen to be an official "greeter" of newcomers to the site - a volunteer, if you like, and a guide if you need it for navigating around the site. I check here every day for Newbies and try not to let anyone sit here for too long unacknowledged.
>
> > Not to be (too) self-absorbed: how did you find about the site, how long have you been present here and how much time do you spend in this kind of communication?
>
> About 2 years ago I did a google search on Effexor side effects and stumbled across this site. In addition to my mental illness I also struggle with subtance abuse, and this site has a board for discussing these issues as well. It's been a great fit for me!! I have made many friends here, and have been fortunate enough to even meet some face to face.
>
> One of the many things that I find terrible about our condition is that we are not supposed to talk about it in the way you can talk about some other less prejudiced health conditions of physical nature. This forces me to cover up my actual feelings and I use a lot of energy on hiding how bad I feel. Even from friends and family because I bore even myself (most of all) with constant moanings.
> >
> Exactly!! There is freedom here in our anonymity; in being able to discuss our various experiences honestly, and in having a safe place to vent our frustrations and pain. Dr Bob, who administers the site, is cautious to make this a safe place for ALL, so when you get a chance, please review the FAQ pages and let me know if you have any questions about civility or any other subjects.
>
> > Back to you: you say that manic phases cost you employment. I'm actually not bipolar (I feel low all the time and I don't have cycles) but I somehow thought lack of energy and concentration associated with depression would be worse for having a job than being elated.
> >
> Well, in my manic phases I unfortunately feel taller, slimmer, and *smarter* than other people, so I have been fired for insubordination when I told my boss, or the owner, or the owner's daughter, just how stupid I thought they really were and how much better a job I could do of running the company than they could. At my last position I quit before they had a chance to tell me to leave...
>
> > That reminds me: are you allowed to ask personal questions about people: their profession, age, where they come from ... nothing too intrusive. I suppose you can but it's up to other person to decide how much they are willing to reveal.(?)
> >
> Exactly. Many people here are attracted to the site for the exact reason of the anonymity that if offers. So if you ask someone a personal question and don't get a response, please don't be offended. (By the way, I am 42-almost-43, female, and a former administrative assistant. I'm a Canadian citizen who lives in the USA.)
>
> > And yes, I'm in therapy but more about that next time if you're interested. Well, it's psycho-analytically oriented. Yours sounds more like cognitive-biheviourist (I read something about it once upon a time). As a matter of fact we don't have much choice of a therapy around here. (I got the impression that (the majority) of people from the community are from the States.
> >
> That's true, I think Dr Bob has a page of statistics about where everyone posts from somewhere here.
>
> > Thanks once again. Hope to hear from you soon. (Honestly - I wanted to write a short message (:)
> >
> > Bambi (scared and fragile animal but capable of growing into someone stronger)
> >
> >
> That is such a positive statement!! I look forward to seeing your posts on the boards here. Take good care,
> ClearSkies
>
> > Hi, ClearSkies!Thanks a lot for your time in responding and giving me such detailed explanations. Sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I haven't had much time (nor energy) for 'hanging around' the site. I'm trying to stay 'afloat' at work despite the current deterioration in my condition and it's been really hard.
I think I'll also start a new thread to ask about Prozac withdrawal symptoms. I've been off Prozac for 9 months now and I wouldn't say that my current depression aren't actually withdrawal symptoms but just continuation of what had been on before I started taking it. My psychiatrist claims I can get well through therapy (I've been on therapy for 8 years now). In her opinion, meds are just concealing the real problems (at least in my case). She believes I can cope with this immense suffering but unfortunately I don't share her view on that. I've been trying to lead a 'normal' life despite my condition: I completed my studies, I have a job, a boyfriend, friends ... but I'm not sure I'll be able to maintain all that or have a child one day.
How's your life in that respect? When it first started at the age of 19 I thought it would go away of itself or be 'cured' in a matter of months but now at 28 I think it's just something I'll have to learn to live with. Reading bits about you I was thinking a lot how you maybe spend too much tim eon the site and as you yourself admit it'isolate yourself a bit'. I just wante to quote that song (what was it: Lemon tree?): 'isolation is not good for me'. That's part of 'the show' as we all know: withdrawing, not being able to live in the 'real world' but in my experience, it helps if we force ourselves, no matter how hard it sometimes is, to go out, meet people, work. It is just expressing my concering for you picturing you alone behind your screen.
I look forward to hearing from you.
PS I have to apologize for my English- if you bothered to read my note you know I'm not a native speaker and I don't think or check much while writing.
bambi
>
>
This is the end of the thread.
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