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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ryan312 on March 16, 2004, at 2:39:50
Hello. I have never posted on the "faith" board before and am pretty new to dr-bob.
I know this sounds weird, but I sometimes get consumed with evil and darkness. I went through a few years of this. And when it happened, I could go on AOL and connect almost magically with other people into really dark, evil stuff.
At other times, I am 100percent spiritual and have 100's of spiritual books etc.
I feel very guilty and bad about the "dark" side of me. However, when that obsessive urge comes over me I can't focus at all on the "good" spiritual stuff and the excitement of the dark, evil stuff sucks me in.
I deal with a lot of depression from horrible childhood sexual abuse and also have really bad OCD. I am wondering if anyone else ever experiences such a "duality"?? take care. ryan
Posted by Jai Narayan on March 18, 2004, at 18:06:20
In reply to extreme duality between good and evil scares me, posted by ryan312 on March 16, 2004, at 2:39:50
I was a two minds about life. I got split after my mother had the most horrific breakdown in my life. At that moment I became the opposite of what I had been. I felt like I was two people. One person wanted to do safe and secure things the other wanted to be wild and forget all that was safe....
I spent years of my life in internal conflict. EMDR helped me so much from the trauma that was the source of my angst.
My heart goes out to you.
Posted by holymama on March 18, 2004, at 19:52:47
In reply to extreme duality between good and evil scares me, posted by ryan312 on March 16, 2004, at 2:39:50
Hi ryan312,
I am bipolar, hence MY dual nature. My mania/depressions are very closely associated with faith/absence or faith, being drawn to good/drawn to bad, etc. While perhaps I am not drawn to the samw dark evil things you spoke of, when I have been depressed I have been destructive, drink way too much, swear (at my children), fight, am very unhealthy...it's like I lose my faith in God or anything good, and have no will to do anything good. WHen I come out of a depression I always have looked forward to a 'spiritual experience' (in fact when I was last manic I had a BIG mystical experience), and have spent my time being close to God, tried to be good, work on the good in myself, etc. A big split for me. I have always described myself as very Jeckle and Hydeish.
Posted by whisper55 on March 19, 2004, at 12:27:15
In reply to Re: extreme duality between good and evil scares me, posted by holymama on March 18, 2004, at 19:52:47
No do not blame yourself for this, everybody has this it is human nature but like food in moderation. We have choices and free will and that makes things harder however you realized it was affecting you and did something about it.
My therapist and pdoc want me to limit the internet, they claim it can esculate anxiety and depression LOL I cut back 15 minutes. Your ok what we battle in our illness is no short of being in a war, in fact it is a war of the mind.
This is the end of the thread.
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