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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2007, at 11:45:18
I know one way would be to be to lose weight, and I and my dog are trying to do that with diet and exercise.
I wear my hair long, my mother wears it short. We don't really dress alike.
It would do wonders for my self esteem if I didn't look like my mom.
Posted by ClearSkies on January 12, 2007, at 12:23:36
In reply to How to stop looking like my mother, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2007, at 11:45:18
> I know one way would be to be to lose weight, and I and my dog are trying to do that with diet and exercise.
>
> I wear my hair long, my mother wears it short. We don't really dress alike.
>
> It would do wonders for my self esteem if I didn't look like my mom.
Me, too, Dinah. I already have her figure, gestures, and the same lumps and bumps on my feet. Though I did get those fixed with bunion surgery.I can differentiate myself from her by:
exercising
wearing makeup when I feel like it
taking care of my health
Posted by MidnightBlue on January 12, 2007, at 20:15:12
In reply to How to stop looking like my mother, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2007, at 11:45:18
Change your hair color? Wear a completely different style clothes? Wear glasses (or don't)? Hum....have plastic surgery? I know that last one is drastic, but it would work the best!
MidnightBlue who is told WAY too much she looks just like Mom!
Posted by Dinah on January 13, 2007, at 7:44:55
In reply to Re: How to stop looking like my mother » Dinah, posted by ClearSkies on January 12, 2007, at 12:23:36
Taking care of my health would be a big differenece. And I definitely look less like her when I weigh less, so exercise would help.
I also have to try to remember expression. My mother's face seems to be set in a certain expression, and there's no need for me to have the same one. If I try to remember to smile and maybe keep my brows up and not furrowed, that might help too.
Posted by Dinah on January 13, 2007, at 7:47:30
In reply to Re: How to stop looking like my mother » Dinah, posted by MidnightBlue on January 12, 2007, at 20:15:12
It doesn't sound too drastic to me. I wish I could afford it.
I wonder why people consider that an accepted conversational topic once a girl is over the age of twelve or so? I would imagine that unless you have a particularly close relationship with your mom, that wouldn't be a nice thing to hear even if your mom was drop dead gorgeous.
The first few times, in my thirties, I actually would cry in front of the well meaning commenter.
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 13, 2007, at 11:57:16
In reply to Re: How to stop looking like my mother » MidnightBlue, posted by Dinah on January 13, 2007, at 7:47:30
You can't change your genes, I guess! Perhaps you don't really look like your mother, its just that theres a bit of a resemblence and people just comment on that as something to say?? Perhaps you just think you look more like your mother than you really do? And why is it so terrible that you look like your mother (if you actually do)-- it is to be expected that you look like your biological parents (or else I'd be asking questions!) so by definition everyone looks like their biological parents to some degree. I think its nice that traits run in families and that families look like one another.
Wearing different styles of clothing from your mother would probably work the best. And be a completely different weight would help too.
Posted by Dinah on January 13, 2007, at 18:45:22
In reply to Re: How to stop looking like my mother, posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 13, 2007, at 11:57:16
I once brought in a picture of my mother when she was a bit younger than I am now, I guess, and showed it to my therapist, who thought it was me.
So now whenever he says I don't look exactly like her, I remind him of that. :)
Weight loss is definitely the key. But it's so hard to lose weight when you're unhappy but not depressed.
When I was growing up, people commented on how much I looked like my dad. And I really did, I think. I had the same under the eye bags, and sallow complexion, and huge ears. And I never minded one bit that people saw that. :)
I know there's more here than asparagus (which is my way of saying that there's more to my dislike of looking like my mother than merely looking like my mother).
Posted by Phillipa on January 13, 2007, at 21:01:08
In reply to Re: How to stop looking like my mother » Meri-Tuuli, posted by Dinah on January 13, 2007, at 18:45:22
I don't look like my Mother did but with health failure I'm acting like she did and don't like it one bit. She was very successful til ill. I look like my Father. Love Phillipa
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 14, 2007, at 4:03:15
In reply to Re: How to stop looking like my mother » Meri-Tuuli, posted by Dinah on January 13, 2007, at 18:45:22
Its interesting, isn't it? I mean, perhaps the therapist was wrong, and s/he was just sort of second guessing you, to make you trust him more. just like something to say. You know, the most likely person in an old photo you bring in, is going to be that its you. And if that person has the same hair colour and bears a little resemblence to you, then of course, he's going to immediately assume that its you in the photo. But thats not to say that you really look like your mother, if you know what I mean.
But I've never had the same comparison to my mother - I'm head and shoulders taller than her, have blondeish hair and I'm slim, whereas my mother is 40 years older than me, has dark hair and is quite plump. So we don't look alike at all.
I too, would hate it if people said that I looked like my mother, so I can understand how you feel.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Self-Esteem | Extras | FAQ
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