![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by 64Bowtie on November 9, 2006, at 19:37:44
ESTEEM - Pronunciation[i-steem] –verb (used with object)
1. to regard highly or favorably; regard with respect or admiration: I esteem him for his honesty.
2. to consider as of a certain value or of a certain type; regard: I esteem it worthless.
3. Obsolete. to set a value on; appraise.
–noun 4. favorable opinion or judgment; respect or regard: to hold a person in esteem.
5. Archaic. opinion or judgment; estimation; valuation.[Origin: 1400–50; late ME estemen, < MF estimer < L aestimāre to fix the value of]
—Synonyms 1. honor, revere, respect. See appreciate. 4. favor, admiration, honor, reverence, veneration. See respect.
—Antonyms 1. disdain.*************** Missing from this definition is the notion of such honor and reverence, of such favor, admiration and veneration being EARNED in the eyes of the admiring venerant... In medeival times, the king was held in high esteem by his subjects, whether said king was a just and noble and ethical person to begin with...
We are left esteem, self or otherwise, having a magical and murky meaning... We are left without much to hold onto even if we have mountainous self-esteem... I, therefore, worry about the wasted motions of seeking out the murky and the magical, especially in absence of a good solid dose of self-respect... Also, when you go out in the world armed with self-respect, your success will be bountiful, because then you will attact others who sense your deep seated notions of your own worth...
Recovery Bumper-Sticker: "Ya' can't give what ya' ain't got!"
Note: You won't be true and accurate at respecting others until you are good at respecting yourself...
Esteem is not a bad word, even though without self-respect, self-esteem has dificulty finding traction (like a tire with snow-chains) in our lives...
Make my efforts focused on seeking self-respect; self-estemm will follow w/little or no effort...
1. Self-esteem is inevitable when we discover respect for ourselves...
2. Respect for others is nearly impossible w/out us having respect for ourselves first...
Rod
Posted by zazenducky on November 10, 2006, at 9:50:59
In reply to Perhaps there is another word we might seek, posted by 64Bowtie on November 9, 2006, at 19:37:44
Yes self respect is a good .I like acceptance too or reverence for life as a definition. It doesn't really work unless it's unconditional and extended to others too does it?
Namaste-the light in me salutes the light in you kind of idea
At the same time I think it's nice to have a place to celebrate small or big victories don't you? I think the programs that try to teach self esteem would do well to start with self respect and then teach goalsetting and skill building and using what you've got rather than just feeling good about whoever you happen to be.
> ESTEEM - Pronunciation[i-steem] –verb (used with object)
> 1. to regard highly or favorably; regard with respect or admiration: I esteem him for his honesty.
> 2. to consider as of a certain value or of a certain type; regard: I esteem it worthless.
> 3. Obsolete. to set a value on; appraise.
> –noun 4. favorable opinion or judgment; respect or regard: to hold a person in esteem.
> 5. Archaic. opinion or judgment; estimation; valuation.
>
> [Origin: 1400–50; late ME estemen, < MF estimer < L aestimāre to fix the value of]
>
>
> —Synonyms 1. honor, revere, respect. See appreciate. 4. favor, admiration, honor, reverence, veneration. See respect.
> —Antonyms 1. disdain.
>
> *************** Missing from this definition is the notion of such honor and reverence, of such favor, admiration and veneration being EARNED in the eyes of the admiring venerant... In medeival times, the king was held in high esteem by his subjects, whether said king was a just and noble and ethical person to begin with...
>
> We are left esteem, self or otherwise, having a magical and murky meaning... We are left without much to hold onto even if we have mountainous self-esteem... I, therefore, worry about the wasted motions of seeking out the murky and the magical, especially in absence of a good solid dose of self-respect... Also, when you go out in the world armed with self-respect, your success will be bountiful, because then you will attact others who sense your deep seated notions of your own worth...
>
> Recovery Bumper-Sticker: "Ya' can't give what ya' ain't got!"
>
> Note: You won't be true and accurate at respecting others until you are good at respecting yourself...
>
> Esteem is not a bad word, even though without self-respect, self-esteem has dificulty finding traction (like a tire with snow-chains) in our lives...
>
> Make my efforts focused on seeking self-respect; self-estemm will follow w/little or no effort...
>
> 1. Self-esteem is inevitable when we discover respect for ourselves...
>
> 2. Respect for others is nearly impossible w/out us having respect for ourselves first...
>
> Rod
Posted by 64bowtie on November 11, 2006, at 22:22:21
In reply to Re: Perhaps there is another word we might seek, posted by zazenducky on November 10, 2006, at 9:50:59
You really see what I was saying......
Rod
Posted by 64Bowtie on November 14, 2006, at 3:47:47
In reply to Perhaps there is another word we might seek, posted by 64Bowtie on November 9, 2006, at 19:37:44
Where does peace of mind meet self-respect???
At integrity...
I now have personal integrity...
How do I know???
My daily activities (behaviors) are free and peaceful, now that I am certain of my personal integrity...
Ships have integrity when they float; continuously float...
People have integrity when they do what they say they are gonna do...
I have integrity; my word is my bond...
I know the difference; 20 years ago I was severely distracted by my messy choices endlessly returning to bite me in the behind like a rabid dog on steroids...
My messy life left me no time for peace of mind; I would grind my teeth when I slept...
Today I am the same person I was 20 years ago, and I have peace of mind; NOMOREDOGBITES!!!
No more messy life...
And fewer trips to the dentist...
Rod
Posted by Declan on November 26, 2006, at 2:14:38
In reply to Perhaps there is another word we might seek, posted by 64Bowtie on November 9, 2006, at 19:37:44
Seligman ("What You Can Change and What You Can't")has this idea about self-esteem being a by product of our commerce with the world. When our self esteem is low, what is needed is to improve our commerce with the world, and our self esteem will look after itself. This makes sense to me because I am so reactive to the kinds of contact I have. Sometimes I feel blessed, and sometimes not at all. I should choose my friends carefully then?
Posted by 64bowtie on November 27, 2006, at 14:20:34
In reply to Re: Perhaps there is another word we might seek, posted by Declan on November 26, 2006, at 2:14:38
Posted by Dinah on November 27, 2006, at 17:14:38
In reply to Re: Perhaps there is another word we might seek, posted by Declan on November 26, 2006, at 2:14:38
I'm not altogether comfortable with basing self esteem on commerce with the world. :/
I can never think about self esteem without searching for some self esteem equivilant of prevenient and sanctifying grace. That on one hand there is a certain portion of self esteem that isn't based on deeds so much as in inherent worth. And that there is another part of self esteem that is based on competency and mastery.
And somehow, although I can't begin to describe it, it always seems to me that the first has to come before the second. Because the type of self esteem based on competency and mastery is too subject to the whims of fate, and is often perceived as being based on "fooling other people." You know - something along the lines of "If they really knew me, they wouldn't think highly of me." While if one has a good sense of the first type, the second almost flows from it. That if one has a notion of one's inherent worth, then one expects mastery and competence and seeks those things.
But I'm not sure I have a grasp on it at all.
Posted by Declan on November 27, 2006, at 17:33:38
In reply to Re: Perhaps there is another word we might seek, posted by Dinah on November 27, 2006, at 17:14:38
I'll have to look it up.
Posted by Dinah on November 28, 2006, at 7:46:22
In reply to Prevenient? » Dinah, posted by Declan on November 27, 2006, at 17:33:38
Prevenient grace is a religious concept, but in comparing it to what I'm thinking of, I'm using it more in the sense of something that's there without our having to do anything to get it. Rather than the religious meaning of an inborn connection to God.
Sort of like those SAT questions. Prevenient grace is to sanctifying grace as self respect is to self efficacy, competence, and mastery.
Ok, I looked it up this morning and found the self esteem equivilants. :)
Posted by Declan on November 28, 2006, at 22:47:17
In reply to Re: Prevenient? » Declan, posted by Dinah on November 28, 2006, at 7:46:22
Gee Dinah, I've always wanted to do a theology degree, but of course I won't. I didn't even get round to looking up 'prevenient'. Your religious assumptions/background is interesting, if only because it is so unfamiliar to me
Posted by Dinah on November 29, 2006, at 8:56:29
In reply to Re: Prevenient? » Dinah, posted by Declan on November 28, 2006, at 22:47:17
John Wesley
MethodistHis concept of grace is what helped me choose Methodism.
But don't blame that poor church for me. ;)
Posted by Dinah on November 29, 2006, at 8:59:02
In reply to Re: Prevenient?, posted by Dinah on November 29, 2006, at 8:56:29
Of course, it's neither here nor there. I just didn't have the words that day to explain it any other way.
But now I'd call it two components of self esteem. Self respect and self confidence (or self efficacy).
Posted by Declan on November 29, 2006, at 13:05:34
In reply to Re: Prevenient?, posted by Dinah on November 29, 2006, at 8:56:29
Lots of good John Wesley hymns.
The best part of my education was being in the school choir.
Posted by 64bowtie on December 11, 2006, at 1:46:12
In reply to Re: Prevenient?, posted by Dinah on November 29, 2006, at 8:59:02
(((Dinah))),
Can you give an example please:
>>> self confidence (or self efficacy)
Every time I look up efficacy, I find references and examples of:
1. Perhaps the shortest distance between 2 points
2. Simplest...... (whatever...)
3. Something that produces the best (intended) results with the least effort expendedAre these anything close to your experience with the word "efficacy"???
I'm having trouble getting my brain around the relationship of self-confidence and any form of efficacy... Perhaps you could talk about an example of self-efficacy...
By now you know I trust you without reserve, so I really am intrigued and sincerely need your input...
Thanks, Rod
Posted by Dinah on December 19, 2006, at 23:37:15
In reply to » Dinah » ...can you give an example please, posted by 64bowtie on December 11, 2006, at 1:46:12
Posted by Dinah on December 19, 2006, at 23:39:07
In reply to » Dinah » ...can you give an example please, posted by 64bowtie on December 11, 2006, at 1:46:12
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Self-Esteem | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.