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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Amandafran on November 14, 2006, at 19:33:36
Ok. So. My self esteem is almost non existant..if htat makes any sense. I have been having panic attacks for months and cannot get my doctors to give me any meds...I started back to school yet my family is not very supportive...and yet I am making A's for the first time in my LIFE...I went back to college after a five year break. I walk around feeling like everyone hates me, I feel ugly, stupid, unliked and unloved and even my T is getting irritated with me. I was recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and so it is like nothing I say and do is right anymore and that if I am stressing out or overanalyzing something...he seems to think that it is my 'disorder' working in full swing. Personally, I dont think that is fair to say. It might be true but I have gotten to the point where I feel like I dont even know who I am anymore and of course it is making me more angry and depressed..
Im never happy ..nothing ever makes me happy anymore. All I want is to be happy and my therapist is really helpful but he is also the kind of therapist that is straight foward, rational, to the point, honest..BRUTALY HONEST and it can be annoying at times..so we have this kind of love hate thereputic relationship ..but then again the BPD trait is a love/hate relationship with people...either you love them or you hate them. I cannot win. I feel lower than dirt.
Someone please say something to brighten my thoughts.
AF
Posted by Declan on November 14, 2006, at 21:23:59
In reply to negative self esteem, posted by Amandafran on November 14, 2006, at 19:33:36
When I was 12 and in a boarding school I felt that I hated everyone and everyone hated me. I even made a motto out of it. Of course I was wildly lonely, dysfunctional and all the rest.
It's odd. Plenty of young people walk around feeling ugly, stupid, unliked and unloved, and then when they are older they feel they have wasted the chance they had.
I think we are way too top heavy. We come from a wilful culture that wants to be divested of shame. The problem with these kinds of holes is that it can take a lifetime (and sometimes generations) to dig yourself out of the suffering. But it doesn't help to want to be different.
If I think back to how I might have handled things better, the thing I might profitably have done is to have learned to look after myself better. You don't even have to like yourself to do that.
Posted by Phillipa on November 14, 2006, at 22:10:42
In reply to Re: negative self esteem » Amandafran, posted by Declan on November 14, 2006, at 21:23:59
Declan what do you mean about taking care of yourself and not liking yourself? Love Phillipa
Posted by Declan on November 14, 2006, at 23:51:32
In reply to Re: negative self esteem » Declan, posted by Phillipa on November 14, 2006, at 22:10:42
Taking care of yourself is easy, you know, eating well, exercise and all the rest. I didn't mean that I liked or disliked myself.
What I was referring to was the complexities of personality, in particular that it makes sense (to me) to punish yourself by looking after yourself.
I'm not suggesting that that should cut any particular mustard.
Posted by football on March 27, 2007, at 1:12:42
In reply to negative self esteem, posted by Amandafran on November 14, 2006, at 19:33:36
My thoughts: Get a doctor who will get you meds!
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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