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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on September 18, 2007, at 1:35:23
Today in the car my Mom said, "Wow, you're stomach is really big, you're really fat. You face is puffy with fat. (OK, I don't know how to translate, maybe it's too literal).
I already know I'm fat. My pdoc is delusional. She says I'm not fat. I'm fat. My Mom agrees. I know I'm fat.
I'm not eating over 1200 kcal/day from now on. I can't stop until I've dropped 25 pounds or more.
Being fat is not acceptable in my family. I can't stand my body. I hate the lack of control I have over food and my body. I need to control.
Deneb*
Posted by Racer on September 18, 2007, at 12:39:45
In reply to My Mom called me fat, posted by Deneb on September 18, 2007, at 1:35:23
Talk to your pdoc. I can see a bunch of problems with your thinking on this:
1. So being fat is not acceptable in your family, huh? What is acceptable, though? You've written here before about your mother, and she certainly doesn't come across, through your words, as a happy, healthy, loving, accepting, supportive mother to you. Maybe she is, maybe I'm misinterpreting what you write, but that's what it's looked like from my perspective.
Maybe this is more evidence that learning self-acceptance is in your best interest.
2. Take a look at what your mother said to you. Would you say that to someone else? Would you say it to a friend you cared about? Would you say that to a family member you loved? How would you expect someone to feel on hearing that from you?
I won't even comment on that one further.
3. Are you an expert in nutrition? Where would you go to find such an expert? Is there any career path which might lead to such expertise? Hm...
Deneb, give up this "I'm not going to eat [X]" and get a referral from your doctor to a dietitian. A Registered Dietitian will help you learn healthier eating patterns, including what is an appropriate amount of food for you.
And while you're at it, you might consider talking to your pdoc at greater length about why you get onto this kick about your weight. It doesn't do anything at all good for you -- you've only got to read the archives here to see that.
It gets harder to fix later, and it can lead to a lot of bad things. Did you know I can barely walk these days? My joints have been too badly damaged, and I'm in pain all the time. You want that? Maybe dialysis sounds like fun? NG tube? Do something more useful with your life.
Posted by Deneb on September 23, 2007, at 23:26:44
In reply to Re: My Mom called me fat, posted by Racer on September 18, 2007, at 12:39:45
> Talk to your pdoc. I can see a bunch of problems with your thinking on this:
>
> 1. So being fat is not acceptable in your family, huh? What is acceptable, though? You've written here before about your mother, and she certainly doesn't come across, through your words, as a happy, healthy, loving, accepting, supportive mother to you. Maybe she is, maybe I'm misinterpreting what you write, but that's what it's looked like from my perspective.The thing is, I don't want to talk to my pdoc about it. She'll discourage me from losing too much weight. She thinks I shouldn't focus on weight loss until it's a real medical issue.
My Mom added in that she didn't realize calling me fat was upsetting. She added in that no matter how fat I got, she still loved me the same. I think she means well, she just doesn't understand. Like today she saw this weight loss problem on sale on the Home Shopping Channel and saw lots of people buying it and she called me over and asked me if I wanted to buy it, she would buy it for me. She just wants to help.
>
> Maybe this is more evidence that learning self-acceptance is in your best interest.
>
> 2. Take a look at what your mother said to you. Would you say that to someone else? Would you say it to a friend you cared about? Would you say that to a family member you loved? How would you expect someone to feel on hearing that from you?I think maybe my Mom would say the same to a friend she cared about. If her friend was really getting fat she would say something.
>
> I won't even comment on that one further.
>
> 3. Are you an expert in nutrition? Where would you go to find such an expert? Is there any career path which might lead to such expertise? Hm...
>
> Deneb, give up this "I'm not going to eat [X]" and get a referral from your doctor to a dietitian. A Registered Dietitian will help you learn healthier eating patterns, including what is an appropriate amount of food for you.I see my pdoc tomorrow. I'm not sure I can get a referral to see a dietitian. I'm not actively bulimic anymore and I'm not too overweight and I'm definitely not underweight.
>
> And while you're at it, you might consider talking to your pdoc at greater length about why you get onto this kick about your weight. It doesn't do anything at all good for you -- you've only got to read the archives here to see that.
>
> It gets harder to fix later, and it can lead to a lot of bad things. Did you know I can barely walk these days? My joints have been too badly damaged, and I'm in pain all the time. You want that? Maybe dialysis sounds like fun? NG tube? Do something more useful with your life.Sorry you have to live with the consequences. That won't happen to me though, I'll still be at a healthy weight at my goal weight.
I have to go to sleep now. Maybe I'll add more. I have to get up early to study.
Thanks for responding Racer.
Posted by Racer on September 24, 2007, at 10:53:46
In reply to Re: My Mom called me fat, posted by Deneb on September 23, 2007, at 23:26:44
>
> Sorry you have to live with the consequences. That won't happen to me though,Yeah? Guess what? I would have said that, too. Just like I would have said it wouldn't affect my ability to have children. Or that I would never collapse from it. Or that I could lose weight and still be healthy.
Deneb -- I think everyone says some variation of "it won't happen to me." It still does.
Here's something I say when I give talks about Eating Disorders: It's easy to say that your life would be better if you lose weight. In fact, if you lose ten pounds, you'll be the same person, you'll have the same life -- you'll just be hungry.
This is the end of the thread.
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