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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by i'm_ok on February 18, 2005, at 23:28:23
Until I organized my closet..only to find size 6 to size 14...all worn regularly by me. I thought I was depressed and needed anti depressants. i was on lexapro and wellbutrin for a while until i finally told my doc that the only thing that makes me happy is to be thin. i convinced him to prescribe me phentermine. i have been soo happy since then. i've lost 20 lbs in one month. i dont feel well but that is ok. i dont eat and when i do i throw it up. that scares me but its a natural reaction now and i'm kind of scared but i still like it. i think once i am happy with how i look i will stop the nonsense...but who (female) has size 6's to 14's????
Posted by Racer on February 19, 2005, at 14:37:02
In reply to I thought i was ok until...., posted by i'm_ok on February 18, 2005, at 23:28:23
> Until I organized my closet..only to find size 6 to size 14...all worn regularly by me. I thought I was depressed and needed anti depressants. i was on lexapro and wellbutrin for a while until i finally told my doc that the only thing that makes me happy is to be thin. i convinced him to prescribe me phentermine. i have been soo happy since then. i've lost 20 lbs in one month. i dont feel well but that is ok. i dont eat and when i do i throw it up. that scares me but its a natural reaction now and i'm kind of scared but i still like it. i think once i am happy with how i look i will stop the nonsense...but who (female) has size 6's to 14's????
I have from size 4 to size 14, so I guess you're not totally alone. And I always have a sense that if only I could get thin, empty myself out enough and like my body, that I would feel OK all the time.Guess what?
It don't work like that. The size portion is only a symptom, not the disease. Purging like that can kill you, so unless your only goal in life is to leave an emaciated corpse, I strongly urge you to get some treatment right away.
Mind you, I'm in the midst of freaking out entirely over having gained weight -- even though I am the one who finally said that I WANTED treatment, and thought that I was sufficiently motivated to follow through with it. Hell, when my nutritional counselor set my goal for daily grain based carbohydrate consumption, I thought to myself, "Ah, hell! I can do that and more! Easy!" Since then -- that was in mid November -- I have met that goal no more than three times. I'm also in the midst of refeeding syndrome, which is particularly hellish. There's no question that it's hard. And there's no question that it's increasing my depression.
There's also no question that it needs to be done unless I choose to jeopardize my life in pursuit of some emphemeral concept of appropriate body size. Most days, I don't know why I'd ever thought recovery was something I wanted. But even so -- I am trying, and it is better than the alternative.
What sort of treatment are you getting now? And what in the hell is wrong with your doctor to prescribe a medication to reduce the weight of someone with an eating disorder?
Posted by i'm_ok on February 19, 2005, at 21:39:52
In reply to Re: I thought i was ok until...., posted by Racer on February 19, 2005, at 14:37:02
> > Until I organized my closet..only to find size 6 to size 14...all worn regularly by me. I thought I was depressed and needed anti depressants. i was on lexapro and wellbutrin for a while until i finally told my doc that the only thing that makes me happy is to be thin. i convinced him to prescribe me phentermine. i have been soo happy since then. i've lost 20 lbs in one month. i dont feel well but that is ok. i dont eat and when i do i throw it up. that scares me but its a natural reaction now and i'm kind of scared but i still like it. i think once i am happy with how i look i will stop the nonsense...but who (female) has size 6's to 14's????
>
>
> I have from size 4 to size 14, so I guess you're not totally alone. And I always have a sense that if only I could get thin, empty myself out enough and like my body, that I would feel OK all the time.
>
> Guess what?
>
> It don't work like that. The size portion is only a symptom, not the disease. Purging like that can kill you, so unless your only goal in life is to leave an emaciated corpse, I strongly urge you to get some treatment right away.
>
> Mind you, I'm in the midst of freaking out entirely over having gained weight -- even though I am the one who finally said that I WANTED treatment, and thought that I was sufficiently motivated to follow through with it. Hell, when my nutritional counselor set my goal for daily grain based carbohydrate consumption, I thought to myself, "Ah, hell! I can do that and more! Easy!" Since then -- that was in mid November -- I have met that goal no more than three times. I'm also in the midst of refeeding syndrome, which is particularly hellish. There's no question that it's hard. And there's no question that it's increasing my depression.
>
> There's also no question that it needs to be done unless I choose to jeopardize my life in pursuit of some emphemeral concept of appropriate body size. Most days, I don't know why I'd ever thought recovery was something I wanted. But even so -- I am trying, and it is better than the alternative.
>
> What sort of treatment are you getting now? And what in the hell is wrong with your doctor to prescribe a medication to reduce the weight of someone with an eating disorder?
********************wow, I guess I am not alone. I have a couple of questions about your input. What do you mean the size portion is only a symtom? What is refeeding syndrome? And to answer your question..my doctor has no idea that I have a little problem with eating. I'm fairly new to him, less than two years. The reason I went to see him initially was for antidepressants that my psychologist suggested for me. She is not able to prescribe so she referred me to him. The depression was getting really bad so I went and he put me on lexapro first and when I gained 30 lbs I told him I couldnt stand the weight gain so he changed me over to wellbutrin. The weight gained slowed but I was still obsessed with it and it was killing me that I weighed so much. so I quit taking the WB on my own, went back to see him a month later and told him I didnt need antidepressants. What I needed was to lose weight and then I will be happy. So, he started to pull out paper work on nutrition, weight watchers, stuff like that. I was so let down that he didnt immediately write a prescrip for me..until I asked him to. I dont think he really wanted to but I said that I needed something to help me get a jump start. so he gave it to me. Obviously he doesnt discuss his mutual patients with the p-doc, cuz if he did he would know about the purging and might not have given me the script. Good thing for me. I dont plan on taking them much longer, just another month is all I want. I'm scared that he wont give me another prescription when this one is gone, but it seems that its pretty easy to buy them on the internet so i might have to do that. i have a goal to get to and once i do i will stop taking them. I would like the purging to stop but its hard when there are days i cannot control the eating and that is my only remedy. I eat like a crazed person sometimes, my hands shake as I am stuffing my face... not always just once in a while...if I can just stop having those episodes, then I wouldnt have to purge and I would be happy. Oh, one more thing. I am not getting treatment, I am not seeing my psychologist any more..it didnt really seem to help anyway.
Posted by Maxime on March 5, 2005, at 2:16:37
In reply to Re: I thought i was ok until...., posted by i'm_ok on February 19, 2005, at 21:39:52
Yes ... I have size 0 to 10 in my closet.
For the sake of your heart I hope you will be able to stop purging. Have you ever been treated for your eating disorder? Was it the meds that started it all?
Concerned,
Maxime
Posted by i'm_ok on March 5, 2005, at 18:48:35
In reply to Re: I thought i was ok until...., posted by Maxime on March 5, 2005, at 2:16:37
> Yes ... I have size 0 to 10 in my closet.
>
> For the sake of your heart I hope you will be able to stop purging. Have you ever been treated for your eating disorder? Was it the meds that started it all?
>
> Concerned,
> Maxime*****************************************
Hi Maxime
I'm not sure what you are asking as far as what med started it all? Its such a circle I dont really know. I have had this eating problem off and on for a few years after living with my finace who used to make me weigh myself every day. (we are no longer together) but it was that break up that threw me into depression and it was at that time that i was put on lexapro. as i said i gained weight with it and the whole thing got out of control. I'd rather be depressed a little and not have the extra weight than be happy on medication and fat. I have never been treated for an eating disorder. I dont think I could go to my doctor and say "hey, I cant keep my food down if I eat too much". when i was in counseling, she knew but we really didnt focus on it cuz most of the time i told her it was getting better. I really dont know what to do because on one hand i think it will go away but on the other hand it shouldnt be happening in the first place and lately my body has been reacting different to it, I get really shaky afterwards. But I've been really stressed out lately with the threat of being laid off at work, taking three classes this term to finish my degree, being a single mom of a teenager, needless to say the b/p has been rough this week but today i managed not to do it so far..as long as i dont eat tonight i know i wont purge.
thanks for your concern
yvonne
Posted by Maxime on March 6, 2005, at 20:02:24
In reply to Re: I thought i was ok until...., posted by i'm_ok on March 5, 2005, at 18:48:35
I didn't word my question very well ... sorry. I was wondering what came first ... the eating disoder or the depression. But you did answer my question in your response.
I'm sorry you are going through so much right now.
I am concerned about how you are feeling after purging because you are at risk for passing out and aspirating your vomit. It sounds like your electrolytes are out of whack. And if the only way you can stop yourself from purging is by not eating, then you are really caught in the web.Why can't you tell your doctor? Do you want help? Because you don't have things under control and you are working and taking 3 courses AND you are a single mother. Most people would collapse from those stresses alone.
I know it's hard to admit these things to your doctor. Sometimes I have had to write a letter and give it to my doctor because I cannot articulate what I need to say or I lose the nerve. Maybe if you wrote out how you are feeling it would help. Even if you don't give the letter to her, just writing everything out can help.
Please continue to post ... I am worried about you. You can send me a Babble Mail any time.
Maxime
Posted by i'm_ok on March 8, 2005, at 14:27:41
In reply to Re: I thought i was ok until.... » i'm_ok, posted by Maxime on March 6, 2005, at 20:02:24
> I didn't word my question very well ... sorry. I was wondering what came first ... the eating disoder or the depression. But you did answer my question in your response.
>
> I'm sorry you are going through so much right now.
> I am concerned about how you are feeling after purging because you are at risk for passing out and aspirating your vomit. It sounds like your electrolytes are out of whack. And if the only way you can stop yourself from purging is by not eating, then you are really caught in the web.
>
> Why can't you tell your doctor? Do you want help? Because you don't have things under control and you are working and taking 3 courses AND you are a single mother. Most people would collapse from those stresses alone.
>
> I know it's hard to admit these things to your doctor. Sometimes I have had to write a letter and give it to my doctor because I cannot articulate what I need to say or I lose the nerve. Maybe if you wrote out how you are feeling it would help. Even if you don't give the letter to her, just writing everything out can help.
>
> Please continue to post ... I am worried about you. You can send me a Babble Mail any time.
>
> Maxime****************************
HI Maxime,
Thanks again for your concern. Its kind of hard sometimes when you can talk to people you are close with about certain things but not about everything and this is one subject i dont talk to anyone about. I was glad to find this message board. I would have to re-word my comment though. I wouldnt exactly say that the only way i can keep from purging is not to eat. That is only the case when I can tell that I am going to over eat, I dont know why but there are times that I know I will over eat and even though i am aware and am thinking about it i cant change it... I still eat like a fiend. it is those times when i purge..i can bring a salad to work for lunch and not feel that i have to purge but i have gone out to lunch with co-workers, felt like i ate too much so had to come back here and find a bathroom no one uses in order to get rid of it. talk about hard..having to do this in public. but if i can not eat at those times i am better off. I guess at this time i would rather save myself the embarassment of not saying anything until it gets out of control. the letter writing idea is good but I think I would rather change doctors to one that I dont know and tell them rather than the one that knows me. weird isnt it? anyway its been three days since i have had to purge so i feel better about that.
: )
~Y
Posted by Maxime on March 10, 2005, at 21:47:18
In reply to Re: I thought i was ok until...., posted by i'm_ok on March 8, 2005, at 14:27:41
I am proud of you for not purging! Way to go! I hope you are proud of yourself as well.
Hugs,
Maxime> ****************************
>
> HI Maxime,
> Thanks again for your concern. Its kind of hard sometimes when you can talk to people you are close with about certain things but not about everything and this is one subject i dont talk to anyone about. I was glad to find this message board. I would have to re-word my comment though. I wouldnt exactly say that the only way i can keep from purging is not to eat. That is only the case when I can tell that I am going to over eat, I dont know why but there are times that I know I will over eat and even though i am aware and am thinking about it i cant change it... I still eat like a fiend. it is those times when i purge..i can bring a salad to work for lunch and not feel that i have to purge but i have gone out to lunch with co-workers, felt like i ate too much so had to come back here and find a bathroom no one uses in order to get rid of it. talk about hard..having to do this in public. but if i can not eat at those times i am better off. I guess at this time i would rather save myself the embarassment of not saying anything until it gets out of control. the letter writing idea is good but I think I would rather change doctors to one that I dont know and tell them rather than the one that knows me. weird isnt it? anyway its been three days since i have had to purge so i feel better about that.
> : )
> ~Y
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