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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by lynn971 on October 19, 2005, at 19:30:05
My daughter wants to have a boy/girl dance party for her 13th birthday party. Since it is her big birthday (November 13th), I want her birthday to be special.
She likes hiphop, and some of the music is just nasty. I dont want to ruin her birthday by putting too strict of demands on the type of music she can have at the party.
I dont have a problem with country music, and I order her a holy hiphop cd.
Texas Chick, is it better to be strict or let her experience some of the same things that other kids who are not being raised in a "christian" home. You know what I mean?
Posted by TexasChic on October 20, 2005, at 19:50:49
In reply to Question for Texas Chick, posted by lynn971 on October 19, 2005, at 19:30:05
Just to let you know a little bit about my background, I was raised Church of Christ in a VERY strict household. I was not allowed to question any part of it, much less decide if it was what I truly believed. I broke away as soon as I was able.
I do however have a moral code for myself that includes trying my best to cause no harm to other people, and maybe impart a little happiness if at all possible. Its kind of a karma thing, although I think of it more as a philosophy than something spiritual. I'm still studying that though - I'm a work in progress. I also have a strong belief in respecting other people's beliefs. It always amazes me the way people don't mind having an opinion forced on others, as long as it THEIR opinion.
Anyway, I didn't want to misrepresent myself to you. I wanted you to know who was giving you advice about your daughter.
Hip-hop music does have very offensive lyrics and often objectifies women. Its kind of like a formula - guys sing about sex and women, and women sing about getting guys to buy them anything they want. I think of it like its a game between the sexes, with each taking turns making fun of each other. I feel as an adult, I can listen to it and find it humorous without it affecting my selfworth. I don't know if 13 is quiet old enough to do that yet.
On the other hand, I listened to some really raunchy stuff in High School (ever heard of 2LiveCrew?) and when I listen to it now, I just can't believe it. I also can't believe how many songs I still know all the words to!!! The thing is, teenagers are all about shock value, and I think that's why we listened to it, but really didn't give the meaning of the words much thought.
I think its a hard line to draw and I don't envy parents of teenagers. One thing you might consider is, on the radio they bleep out all the bad words (for the most part). I don't know if you can get cd's like that, but it might be something to look into.
Another alternative is to discuss it with your daughter so that she knows your views about it, that its NOT REALITY and that its not okay with you for her to repeat those things. It would all depend on your daughter's maturity and how comfortable you feel about exposing her to that. (Although, it sounds like she listens to it already!)
Anyway, I hope I helped somewhat. As you can see I can go on and on about things I have absolutely no authority over. So take it for what its worth. I'm just a person who likes to contemplate psychology and why people behave as they do.
-T
Posted by lynn971 on October 20, 2005, at 21:09:46
In reply to Re: Question for Texas Chick, posted by TexasChic on October 20, 2005, at 19:50:49
Thanks, I just want to raise her in a christian home, but I dont want to impose a bunch of do's and dont's on her. I want faith to be real to her, not just "religion."
I am kinda confused about how strict I should and shouldn't be.
I know that she listens to the songs on the radio. When I walk in her room she has it on hiphop. I dont have a problem with it unless it is nasty. Sometimes in the car she asks me if she can put it on the hip hop station. I tell her yes as long as it is not nasty. Well, the song just begins and I make her change it. I dont think that we listen to a whole song.
I just want her to have a fun, well balanced childhood. I do know that I have to answer to
God about how I raised her.I have a friend (acqaintence) who was very strict on her kids. She did not even let them watch tv. Today, one of her sons has already been to jail. The other one dissapointed her by having a child out of wedlock. I dont judge anyone who has a baby before marraige, but I know that she was devasted because she was such a strict mom.
Thanks so much for your input.
Oh, when I was young I used to listen to 2 Live Crew too. I also listened to Ozzy, Judas Priest, and a few other shock rockers. I turned out ok
ok, maybe I did not turn out completely ok. lol
Posted by rainbowbrite on October 24, 2005, at 20:15:23
In reply to Question for Texas Chick, posted by lynn971 on October 19, 2005, at 19:30:05
i know you werent asking me but :-)....
I think the more restrictions the more rebellion. I really believe that.
And i think so many kids have know idea what the words actually mean. you know, like, a candy shop is literally a candy shop. they are listening to the beat. Not that Im saying that song is ok for a 13 year old, Im not sure actually, but I dont think they necessarily know what it means. I hope not.
Hope the party is fun!
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