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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Denise Cox on October 26, 2000, at 0:37:28
My 4 yr old son was just dx'd w/ ODD & ADHD today. We have had behavior problems with him since he was in his terrible two's, but it just got worse w/ age. He doesn't listen or obey us, or even look at us when we ask him to do something. He wants to do it on his time not ours. There has been a big strain on our marriage due to blaming each other for not paying enough attention to him, or on matters of discipline. He has been a real hand full & is our only child. I whole heartedly love Clay, but I despise his behavior. His pddoc gave him iminiperine, and I hear there is no cure, or worse yet whose to know whether he will grow out of it. This is a mothers worst nightmare. I just want my son to grow up to be happy & healthy, not angry & frustrated & defiant. Is there any others out there that have an ODD child? & how do you cope? Thanx Denise
Posted by noa on October 27, 2000, at 16:47:17
In reply to oppositional defiance disorder (ODD ADHD), posted by Denise Cox on October 26, 2000, at 0:37:28
Along with medication, behavior therapy and training for you (the parents), and his teachers, can go a long way to help him cope better. If his behavior is managed well, he can learn better and develop better skills and like himself better, which can prevent the downward spiral that I think you are dreading.
There is a book called The Tough Kid Book by Bill Jenson, but I don't know the publisher.
Posted by Sassy on November 15, 2000, at 19:41:01
In reply to oppositional defiance disorder (ODD ADHD), posted by Denise Cox on October 26, 2000, at 0:37:28
> My 4 yr old son was just dx'd w/ ODD & ADHD today. We have had behavior problems with him since he was in his terrible two's, but it just got worse w/ age. He doesn't listen or obey us, or even look at us when we ask him to do something. He wants to do it on his time not ours. There has been a big strain on our marriage due to blaming each other for not paying enough attention to him, or on matters of discipline. He has been a real hand full & is our only child. I whole heartedly love Clay, but I despise his behavior. His pddoc gave him iminiperine, and I hear there is no cure, or worse yet whose to know whether he will grow out of it. This is a mothers worst nightmare. I just want my son to grow up to be happy & healthy, not angry & frustrated & defiant. Is there any others out there that have an ODD child? & how do you cope? Thanx Denise
Hi Denise,
I hope you are still looking at this site to read
my response.I understand because I have gone through a lot and
my son is now 12 years old.Thinking back, some environmental factors may have
caused my son to be this way (i.e., marriage breakup).While my son was a charming and smart baby that
everyone loved, he too changed right around 2 years and got worst.First of all, make sure you and your husband get
the support of your family and get out frequently.
I didn't have any support. If not, it will surely
have an effect unless both of you are strong.I have also seen throughout the years that a lot
of this has to do with the child's will. They
know what they can get away with, and being the
first child, we love them and try to make them
happy. I tried tough love. With two in the family, it should be easier. I would make a point
to hug and kiss in front of him. (Again, he may
be picking up some of the frustration and acting
out more).Don't put him in public school because they don't
care. He will do worst. Maybe you may have a
different experience.My son was taken away on a false child abuse charge (long story) by a call from my X as a retaliation. (It was God who got him back to me
the next week because people don't get their kids
back right away once in the system). My son wrote
me a long letter that night. The things I thought
him about faith and God which I thought he had forgotten about were in there. He spent 3 days in
a foster home, in the ghetto where he didn't sleep
and had very little to eat. It really made him
humble. He was so hungry when he was released to
my brother, he swallowed the chicken without chewing it.I am telling you this because part of a defiant
attitude and lies on his part caused this to happen.While we had frequent visits by the child care
workers, he could regroup himself knowing someone
was coming out. Picking his clothes off the floor
including trash and being more willing to listen.
Now that we are basically out of it, he is back
to his old self. He can only experience the moment it seems. He doesn't remember the repercussions.He has however, kept his out of control anger
at bay. I only see the Dr. Jekell and Mr Hyde
personality sometimes. He can only experience the moment. He can control himself when he WANTS TO.Now, what I'm trying to figure out is since I know
he can do this, do we medicate to make this possible all the time?I've taken him to a pdoc since 5 years old. They
tested for ADD - NO ADD found -They tried clonodine only made in sleepy. We tried stimulates ritalin and dex when he was 4 and 5 years no good results. Recently tried adderall,
good initially, then it made him agitated. Also,
he has an adversity to drugs. Risderone didn't do
anything.He will listen to my brother, but not to me. Teachers have problems with him, he gets into a
lot of fights because of his mouth, he wants attention, always, and the only time ever that
he has been able to play by himself is when
he is online playing games.I am very weary, and very frustrated. I wish he
would snap out of it, or the magic pill that
he needs.Before he was extremely active, an literally
would bounce off the walls. Now, he is going
through some hormonal change, and I really can't
figure it out. I want so bad to help him. The
pdoc isn't really sure what to do.PAXIL did make him happy, but nothing would quiet
him down. Unlike an adult, and complicated with school, it is hard to try medications that have
a sedative side effect.Scores on test i.e., Stanford 9 he is high, yet
he had failing grades last year because he doesn't like school.I'm not sure what the answer is, but in closing
I do believe it can be done without drugs if you
are lucky enough to get someone that has a special
anointing for kids. Not everyone has it.Unfortunately with me, I don't have it, and I
have to look for something to help him until he
decides to help himself.Sassy
Posted by Denise Cox on November 15, 2000, at 22:32:09
In reply to Re: oppositional defiance disorder (ODD ADHD), posted by Sassy on November 15, 2000, at 19:41:01
> > My 4 yr old son was just dx'd w/ ODD & ADHD today. We have had behavior problems with him since he was in his terrible two's, but it just got worse w/ age. He doesn't listen or obey us, or even look at us when we ask him to do something. He wants to do it on his time not ours. There has been a big strain on our marriage due to blaming each other for not paying enough attention to him, or on matters of discipline. He has been a real hand full & is our only child. I whole heartedly love Clay, but I despise his behavior. His pddoc gave him iminiperine, and I hear there is no cure, or worse yet whose to know whether he will grow out of it. This is a mothers worst nightmare. I just want my son to grow up to be happy & healthy, not angry & frustrated & defiant. Is there any others out there that have an ODD child? & how do you cope? Thanx Denise
>
> Hi Denise,
>
> I hope you are still looking at this site to read
> my response.
>
> I understand because I have gone through a lot and
> my son is now 12 years old.
>
> Thinking back, some environmental factors may have
> caused my son to be this way (i.e., marriage breakup).
>
> While my son was a charming and smart baby that
> everyone loved, he too changed right around 2 years and got worst.
>
> First of all, make sure you and your husband get
> the support of your family and get out frequently.
> I didn't have any support. If not, it will surely
> have an effect unless both of you are strong.
>
> I have also seen throughout the years that a lot
> of this has to do with the child's will. They
> know what they can get away with, and being the
> first child, we love them and try to make them
> happy. I tried tough love. With two in the family, it should be easier. I would make a point
> to hug and kiss in front of him. (Again, he may
> be picking up some of the frustration and acting
> out more).
>
> Don't put him in public school because they don't
> care. He will do worst. Maybe you may have a
> different experience.
>
> My son was taken away on a false child abuse charge (long story) by a call from my X as a retaliation. (It was God who got him back to me
> the next week because people don't get their kids
> back right away once in the system). My son wrote
> me a long letter that night. The things I thought
> him about faith and God which I thought he had forgotten about were in there. He spent 3 days in
> a foster home, in the ghetto where he didn't sleep
> and had very little to eat. It really made him
> humble. He was so hungry when he was released to
> my brother, he swallowed the chicken without chewing it.
>
> I am telling you this because part of a defiant
> attitude and lies on his part caused this to happen.
>
> While we had frequent visits by the child care
> workers, he could regroup himself knowing someone
> was coming out. Picking his clothes off the floor
> including trash and being more willing to listen.
> Now that we are basically out of it, he is back
> to his old self. He can only experience the moment it seems. He doesn't remember the repercussions.
>
> He has however, kept his out of control anger
> at bay. I only see the Dr. Jekell and Mr Hyde
> personality sometimes. He can only experience the moment. He can control himself when he WANTS TO.
>
> Now, what I'm trying to figure out is since I know
> he can do this, do we medicate to make this possible all the time?
>
> I've taken him to a pdoc since 5 years old. They
> tested for ADD - NO ADD found -They tried clonodine only made in sleepy. We tried stimulates ritalin and dex when he was 4 and 5 years no good results. Recently tried adderall,
> good initially, then it made him agitated. Also,
> he has an adversity to drugs. Risderone didn't do
> anything.
>
> He will listen to my brother, but not to me. Teachers have problems with him, he gets into a
> lot of fights because of his mouth, he wants attention, always, and the only time ever that
> he has been able to play by himself is when
> he is online playing games.
>
> I am very weary, and very frustrated. I wish he
> would snap out of it, or the magic pill that
> he needs.
>
> Before he was extremely active, an literally
> would bounce off the walls. Now, he is going
> through some hormonal change, and I really can't
> figure it out. I want so bad to help him. The
> pdoc isn't really sure what to do.
>
> PAXIL did make him happy, but nothing would quiet
> him down. Unlike an adult, and complicated with school, it is hard to try medications that have
> a sedative side effect.
>
> Scores on test i.e., Stanford 9 he is high, yet
> he had failing grades last year because he doesn't like school.
>
> I'm not sure what the answer is, but in closing
> I do believe it can be done without drugs if you
> are lucky enough to get someone that has a special
> anointing for kids. Not everyone has it.
>
> Unfortunately with me, I don't have it, and I
> have to look for something to help him until he
> decides to help himself.
>
> SassyHi Sassy
I am so glad you wrote-what a struggle you have been through! for all those years! My son is on Imipramine (antidepressent) for what ever reason. His pdoc is a child psychiatrist & I pray that she is the help he needs. My husband & I know we have to show him more love between us in our house, and also have to agree on how we will discipline him since he can manipulate us into arguing with each other. (can you imagine a 4 year old doing this?) We know there is no cure, but we were blessed with him, and we will try our best to make him think of himself as a worthwhile human being. He does go to a Parochial school. At least he is learning religion which I think is very important for his spiritual well being. I dont know what the future holds, but I pray he outgrows this, if it is at all possible. I just want hime to be happy & healthy minded. Thank you again for giving me your experiences. May God bless you and keep you in His hands. Denise
Posted by greenhornet on February 21, 2005, at 7:21:57
In reply to oppositional defiance disorder (ODD ADHD), posted by Denise Cox on October 26, 2000, at 0:37:28
> My 4 yr old son was just dx'd w/ ODD & ADHD today. We have had behavior problems with him since he was in his terrible two's, but it just got worse w/ age. He doesn't listen or obey us, or even look at us when we ask him to do something. He wants to do it on his time not ours. There has been a big strain on our marriage due to blaming each other for not paying enough attention to him, or on matters of discipline. He has been a real hand full & is our only child. I whole heartedly love Clay, but I despise his behavior. His pddoc gave him iminiperine, and I hear there is no cure, or worse yet whose to know whether he will grow out of it. This is a mothers worst nightmare. I just want my son to grow up to be happy & healthy, not angry & frustrated & defiant. Is there any others out there that have an ODD child? & how do you cope? Thanx Denise
Please be aware that it is never too late to get things under control (and trust me your son's can control his behavior) I highly recomend two books:
Dare To Dicipline and The Strong Willed Child both By Dr. James Dobson.
http://www.enotalone.com/books/0842305068.html
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?endeca=1&isbn=084236661X
We brought up six sons six -- and these books were a God-send. Greenhornet
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