Psycho-Babble Administration Thread 1046456

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Re: present and former deputies » Dr. Bob

Posted by alexandra_k on October 6, 2013, at 23:46:02

In reply to Re: present and former deputies, posted by Dr. Bob on October 6, 2013, at 1:16:19

> > the willingness of your present and former deputies to carry out your nastiness was and is despicable

> I hope my present and former deputies don't feel hurt by that. I value their present and former contributions and sacrifices. Anybody else?

I feel ambivalent.

On the one hand, I liked and respected all of them a great deal *as posters*.

I was less keen on the whole 'deputy' thing... Though I do think they tended to provide lesser sanctions than you did.


 

present and former deputies - their willingness » Dr. Bob

Posted by SLS on October 7, 2013, at 7:42:54

In reply to Re: present and former deputies, posted by Dr. Bob on October 6, 2013, at 1:16:19

> > the willingness of your present and former deputies to carry out your nastiness was and is despicable

> I hope my present and former deputies don't feel hurt by that. I value their present and former contributions and sacrifices. Anybody else?

I interpreted the phrase, "the willingness" as being a noun referring to a character trait of the deputies. I would feel hurt and put down if someone were to state that a character trait of mine was despicable. Perhaps the deputies referred to experienced no such hurt. I wouldn't know.


- Scott

 

Dr Bob I retract my diagnosis FORGIVE ME!!!!!!!!!

Posted by HomelyCygnet on October 7, 2013, at 10:19:24

In reply to Re: Do you have any hobbies besides Babble?, posted by HomelyCygnet on October 5, 2013, at 7:09:42

I believed I have defamed you in the eyes of the law. Please remove my post at once.

Your friend
Homely

> And I say again I am tired of your obvious discrimination against Lou and your game playing and your general jackassery. And even though I thought the willingness of your present and former deputies to carry out your nastiness was and is despicable, I think your disloyalty to your present and former deputy girls is despicable too but predictable in light of your "(retracted". Did something happen in your childhood that caused you to develop this (retracted)?
>
> Please compute my ban correctly this time including bonus for multiple posts.
>
> Bye :)
>
>

 

Re: present and former deputies

Posted by Dr. Bob on October 8, 2013, at 15:22:53

In reply to present and former deputies - their willingness » Dr. Bob, posted by SLS on October 7, 2013, at 7:42:54

> I would feel hurt and put down if someone were to state that a character trait of mine was despicable.

Would you be willing to share your own view of the willingness of my present and former deputies to be my deputies?

Bob

 

Am I forgiven or had I better call Saul? (nm) » Dr. Bob

Posted by HomelyCygnet on October 9, 2013, at 8:45:36

In reply to Re: present and former deputies, posted by Dr. Bob on October 8, 2013, at 15:22:53

 

Re: present and former deputies » Dr. Bob

Posted by Dinah on October 9, 2013, at 11:38:27

In reply to Re: present and former deputies, posted by Dr. Bob on October 6, 2013, at 1:16:19

Of course we feel hurt, Dr. Bob. You know that the consistency of this poster has been a large part of the decision of more than one deputy to avoid Babble entirely.

It's the incessant nature of it. Any one thing may not be so bad. I should exercise my free will not to open posts I know will have a fairly decent chance of hurting me. I should know that after many years of crying over posts I've opened. Yet oddly I value this poster's contributions, as a whole, enough to not wish to do this. So I too begin to avoid Babble. If it's kept to Admin, I can just avoid Admin.

Which is why I didn't overmuch complain. If I open a Cygnet's posts on Admin, I deserve whatever pain I feel.

 

Re: present and former deputies

Posted by Dr. Bob on October 10, 2013, at 1:04:49

In reply to Re: present and former deputies, posted by Dr. Bob on October 6, 2013, at 1:16:19

> I value their present and former contributions and sacrifices. Anybody else?

I wouldn't say there's been an outpouring of appreciation from posters. I hope that doesn't hurt them further. I feel disappointed.

Bob

 

Re: blocked for 11 weeks » HomelyCygnet

Posted by Dr. Bob on October 10, 2013, at 1:10:38

In reply to Do you have any hobbies besides Babble? » Dr. Bob, posted by HomelyCygnet on October 5, 2013, at 7:00:30

> the willingness of your present and former deputies to carry out your nastiness was and is despicable

Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.

More information about posting policies and tips on alternative ways to express yourself, including a link to a nice post by Dinah on I-statements, are in the FAQ:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforce

Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.

Thanks,

Bob

PS: This block is the result of one action, but its length is the result of a pattern of actions. The block length formula:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforce

takes into account how long the previous block was, how long it's been since the previous block, and how uncivil the current post is:

duration of previous block = 4 weeks
period of time since previous block = 2 weeks
severity = 2 (default) + 1 (uncivil toward particular individual or group) = 3
block length = 11.42 rounded = 11 weeks

 

Re: present and former deputies

Posted by jane d on October 10, 2013, at 22:45:55

In reply to Re: present and former deputies, posted by Dr. Bob on October 10, 2013, at 1:04:49

> > I value their present and former contributions and sacrifices. Anybody else?
>
> I wouldn't say there's been an outpouring of appreciation from posters. I hope that doesn't hurt them further. I feel disappointed.
>
> Bob


I didn't see this thread before or I would have responded. I am very grateful to the deputies for what they did. If I were able to put in that much hard work, reply so consistently, articulately and usually kindly I would have considered trying to be a deputy myself. As it is, I am glad that they were here. And very much in awe of them.

Jane

 

Re: present and former deputies » jane d

Posted by 10derheart on October 11, 2013, at 2:15:00

In reply to Re: present and former deputies, posted by jane d on October 10, 2013, at 22:45:55

Thank you, jane. It was difficult sometimes. But hardly all bad. I was/am honored to have worked with the other deputies because they are good people.

But please don't be in awe. Not of me, anyway :-)

 

Re: present and former deputies » jane d

Posted by SLS on October 11, 2013, at 6:14:42

In reply to Re: present and former deputies, posted by jane d on October 10, 2013, at 22:45:55

Hi Jane

> I am very grateful to the deputies for what they did. If I were able to put in that much hard work, reply so consistently, articulately and usually kindly I would have considered trying to be a deputy myself. As it is, I am glad that they were here. And very much in awe of them.

Me, too. I just wish that I had thought to acknowledge them as you have here.

- Scott

 

Re: blocked for 11 weeks Dr.Bob

Posted by Twinleaf on October 11, 2013, at 17:55:48

In reply to Re: blocked for 11 weeks » HomelyCygnet, posted by Dr. Bob on October 10, 2013, at 1:10:38

I am very disappointed and discouraged to see the same old block formula. I think one of the reasons we can't offer more support for the former deputies is that they were basically forced to implement this extremely unpopular and unconstructive policy.

 

Re: blocked for 11 weeks Dr.Bob » Twinleaf

Posted by 10derheart on October 11, 2013, at 20:43:36

In reply to Re: blocked for 11 weeks Dr.Bob, posted by Twinleaf on October 11, 2013, at 17:55:48

>>I think one of the reasons we can't offer more support for the former deputies is that they were basically forced to implement this extremely unpopular and unconstructive policy.

First, that's not so. We were never forced to do anything, unless you count accepting Dr. Bob was in charge and was/is who he was/is...and even then we could abstain from certain boards, dealing with some posters, etc., or resign. I didn't mind the formula, for the most part, because I knew the spirit behind it was to try to respond to posters' complaints. Posters had been saying - repeatedly - that all of admin was arbitrary and not objective and so the formula was Dr. Bob's logical effort to eliminate the possibility (or the appearance) of that.

But at times when I saw it would result in a block that didn't sit well with me,given all the circumstances, I gave shorter lengths. No forcing.
If Dr. Bob didn't like it, he could lengthen it. He could always do anything he wanted with any block or anything else we did. His boards.

Not sure I follow your thought here...what does offering support have to do with various blocking policies? I thought the support was a counterpoint to the idea we were carrying out nastiness and despicable for doing that. Perhaps you agree with that characterization, as is your right.

I guess janed sees other aspects to support. This must be since I doubt she offers her kind words due to what we did or did not do about blocks. Although, I could be wrong, as posters have expressed gratitude more than once for blocks they felt helped the community and were appropriate. There was **so** much more to being a deputy than blocking people. I doubt it would comprise even 20% of the time spent being a deputy here.

Anyway...you can't win with *any* particular blocking policy, IMO. People will dislike them all for different reasons.

 

Re: blocked for 11 weeks Dr.Bob » 10derheart

Posted by Twinleaf on October 11, 2013, at 22:57:13

In reply to Re: blocked for 11 weeks Dr.Bob » Twinleaf, posted by 10derheart on October 11, 2013, at 20:43:36

As to the administrative policies, I never agreed with many of the pbc's, and thought that a blocking policy which lengthened so rapidly for (often) very minor or questionable incivilities was harmful. I think blocks are occasionally needed, but it may be just as effective if they are kept short. Those are just my own views

It would never occur to me to think of any of the deputies as nasty or despicable, but it was hard seeing you carry out, and hard to be supportive of policies which I felt were not helpful to the community - just my own view, not meant as any kind of personal attack at all.

 

Re: support

Posted by Dr. Bob on October 12, 2013, at 0:56:56

In reply to Re: blocked for 11 weeks Dr.Bob, posted by Twinleaf on October 11, 2013, at 17:55:48

> I am very disappointed and discouraged to see the same old block formula. I think one of the reasons we can't offer more support for the former deputies is that they were basically forced to implement this extremely unpopular and unconstructive policy.

I was disappointed to see the same old lack of support for deputies. If people receive more support, maybe incivility won't hurt as much. And blocking won't be as necessary. I didn't want to leave them sitting, um, ducks.

Bob

 

Re: present and former deputies » jane d

Posted by Dinah on October 12, 2013, at 8:23:39

In reply to Re: present and former deputies, posted by jane d on October 10, 2013, at 22:45:55

Thank you, Jane.

Your support has always meant so much to me.

 

Re: present and former deputies » SLS

Posted by Dinah on October 12, 2013, at 8:24:10

In reply to Re: present and former deputies » jane d, posted by SLS on October 11, 2013, at 6:14:42

Thank you, Scott.

 

Re: support » Dr. Bob

Posted by Dinah on October 12, 2013, at 8:45:07

In reply to Re: support, posted by Dr. Bob on October 12, 2013, at 0:56:56

I appreciate your desire to help us feel supported, Dr. Bob. But I fear your efforts might lead to more pain for us as people explain why they can't give it.

How long has it been since we have had active deputies? My wish would only be for people to give up already on mentioning us in any complaints against current management. How long must we be punished? If we are willing, as I certainly am, to try to move past past hurts from posters, why can't others at least leave us alone?

The unkindnesses to us are far less than they once were. But it's like water on stone. The constant drip drip drip of negative comments. Why bother? There are no present deputies, and none are expected.

If people think we were misguided, or unkind, or cruel... If people don't realize how often we tried to avert blocks entirely... If people don't realize how we agonized over fairness and supportiveness... Well, can't they at least be glad we're no longer here as deputies? And in most cases not even here anymore as posters or administrative supporters. Is that not punishment enough?

Must people bring it up again and again and again? It isn't necessary to say whatever is in one's mind. If it is no longer relevant, why continue to mention it? The only result is to cause pain among present and former deputies. If that's not the goal, then why bother? If that is the goal, then it is being achieved and I wish those people who can be happy in it happy in it.

 

Re: support

Posted by Dinah on October 12, 2013, at 8:47:05

In reply to Re: support » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on October 12, 2013, at 8:45:07

I'm sorry. Of course there is a deputy. But I've seen no signs of current activity in quite a while.

 

Re: support » Dr. Bob

Posted by Twinleaf on October 12, 2013, at 11:35:40

In reply to Re: support, posted by Dr. Bob on October 12, 2013, at 0:56:56

Just to make sure I am clear: I feel great admiration and support for all of the former deputies as people and as valuable members of our community. I have had wonderful and meaningful Interactions actions with them. I had a lot of empathy for them, watching them struggle to administer the policies as fairly as they could. I know it was very, very hard at times. I just can't support either Dr.Bob or the deputies carrying out policies which I felt were destructive to the well- being of the community. I think you all know this about me by now, and it doesn't need to keep coming up. It's really getting old!

 

Re: support » Dinah

Posted by Phillipa on October 12, 2013, at 18:29:53

In reply to Re: support, posted by Dinah on October 12, 2013, at 8:47:05

A few years at least is there really one or just a name? Phillipa

 

Re: present and former deputies » SLS

Posted by 10derheart on October 12, 2013, at 20:08:47

In reply to Re: present and former deputies » jane d, posted by SLS on October 11, 2013, at 6:14:42

Don't sweat it, Scott. I am not keeping track.

We already know how you feel :-)

 

Re: blocked for 11 weeks Dr.Bob » Twinleaf

Posted by 10derheart on October 12, 2013, at 20:10:04

In reply to Re: blocked for 11 weeks Dr.Bob » 10derheart, posted by Twinleaf on October 11, 2013, at 22:57:13

>>It would never occur to me to think of any of the deputies as nasty or despicable

I'm glad of that and thanks for taking the time to say so.

 

Re: support » Twinleaf

Posted by Dinah on October 13, 2013, at 8:37:26

In reply to Re: support » Dr. Bob, posted by Twinleaf on October 12, 2013, at 11:35:40

> Just to make sure I am clear: I feel great admiration and support for all of the former deputies as people and as valuable members of our community. I have had wonderful and meaningful Interactions actions with them. I had a lot of empathy for them, watching them struggle to administer the policies as fairly as they could. I know it was very, very hard at times.

I appreciate this, Twinleaf. And I also appreciate and thank you for saying it.

> I think you all know this about me by now, and it doesn't need to keep coming up. It's really getting old!

I appreciate and thank you for saying this as well.

 

Re: support

Posted by Dr. Bob on October 13, 2013, at 22:40:52

In reply to Re: support » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on October 12, 2013, at 8:45:07

> I just can't support either Dr.Bob or the deputies carrying out policies which I felt were destructive to the well- being of the community.
>
> Twinleaf

> I appreciate your desire to help us feel supported, Dr. Bob. But I fear your efforts might lead to more pain for us as people explain why they can't give it.

You may be right.

> My wish would only be for people to give up already on mentioning us in any complaints against current management.
>
> The unkindnesses to us are far less than they once were. But it's like water on stone. The constant drip drip drip of negative comments.
>
> Must people bring it up again and again and again? It isn't necessary to say whatever is in one's mind. If it is no longer relevant, why continue to mention it? The only result is to cause pain among present and former deputies. If that's not the goal, then why bother?
>
> Dinah

The goal could be to improve Babble. Making it better for everyone might outweigh causing some people some pain. I feel that way myself at times. A civil community is better for everyone, so it's OK to cause some people some pain by blocking them, for example.

Bob


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