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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 31 to 55 of 70. Go back in thread:
Posted by sleepygirl2 on July 14, 2012, at 19:26:25
In reply to Re: If you Can't Say Anything Nice Say Nothing, posted by marylou333 on July 14, 2012, at 4:12:44
Hey,
Wtf?
How is that anything but cruel?
Do you think of yourself that way?
Posted by zazenducke on July 14, 2012, at 19:26:25
In reply to Re: If you Can't Say Anything Nice Say Nothing, posted by marylou333 on July 14, 2012, at 4:12:44
Dinah has permission to engage in therapy at will as long as it doesn't interfere with her wifely duties. (Sorry I couldn't resist I always thought that was one of the all time funniest posts)
> I an a lurker , but to me all the mods had many flaw,s to judge posts. Take Dinah, many problems herself, carnt even function without a theropist for 20 years. Who needs theropist for 20 year,s thats not healthy, her husband must feel a little inadequate. Theropy that long is wrong what more can be said after 20 years you carn tell you husband. Totally wrong to judge other peoples post when she needs a theropist herself just to survive. Dinah what if he dies tommorow do you.
Posted by marylou333 on July 14, 2012, at 19:26:25
In reply to Re: If you Can't Say Anything Nice Talk To Me » marylou333, posted by SLS on July 14, 2012, at 7:17:05
SCOTT, do you talk mabye of Dracular with your crap random try at a put down. look man give up trying to be dr, bob juinor an a theropist at the same time, your just a middle class unemployed internet surfer,nothing more nothing less. You may have had your fan club 5 years ago , but alas no more,people have seen you crash an burn more than Martin Sheen , so they got on there bike an rode into the sunset
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on July 14, 2012, at 19:26:26
In reply to Re: If you Can't Say Anything Nice Talk To Me, posted by marylou333 on July 14, 2012, at 8:47:14
Ironically, I think this thread proves the point that we are incapable of monitoring ourselves.
It saddens me to see kindhearted people like Dinah and Scott attacked. We don't all need to agree on everything to have conversations.
Best,
EE
Posted by SLS on July 14, 2012, at 19:26:26
In reply to Re: If you Can't Say Anything Nice Talk To Me » SLS, posted by zazenducke on July 14, 2012, at 7:20:35
> > I did not see behaviors of Dinah that would lead me to judge her actions to be bullying.
> I wouldn't expect you to Scott, but not because they weren't as I described. You are very invested in the status quo here and your deference towards authority has always been remarkable.
You are very predictable, if not consistent. I would have expected nothing less of you than to assume suppositions about my attitudes, loyalties, investments, need for stasis, and my complex relationship with authority. Simplistic rhetoric coming from you is disappointing. Actually, I was wondering what took you so long.
> > Perhaps this thread should be redirected to Administration.
> Please direct your future responses to Administration. Be the change you want to see!!!I would, except I don't know how. Could you please explain to me how to go about redirecting a thread?
Thanks.
As you have an opinion, so have I.
Gotta stir those pots...
- Scott
Posted by SLS on July 14, 2012, at 19:26:26
In reply to Re: If you Can't Say Anything Nice Talk To Me, posted by marylou333 on July 14, 2012, at 8:47:14
> SCOTT, do you talk mabye of Dracular with your crap random try at a put down. look man give up trying to be dr, bob juinor an a theropist at the same time, your just a middle class unemployed internet surfer,nothing more nothing less. You may have had your fan club 5 years ago , but alas no more,people have seen you crash an burn more than Martin Sheen , so they got on there bike an rode into the sunset
Sorry. I confused you for Manic666.
I apologize.
It is doubtful that I shall confuse the two of you again.
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on July 14, 2012, at 19:26:26
In reply to Re: If you Can't Say Anything Nice Talk To Me, posted by SLS on July 14, 2012, at 9:49:21
Scott if only you had your babblemail on :( Phillipa
Posted by zazenducke on July 14, 2012, at 19:26:27
In reply to Re: If you Can't Say Anything Nice Talk To Me » zazenducke, posted by SLS on July 14, 2012, at 9:47:29
> > > I did not see behaviors of Dinah that would lead me to judge her actions to be bullying.
>
> > I wouldn't expect you to Scott, but not because they weren't as I described. You are very invested in the status quo here and your deference towards authority has always been remarkable.
>
> You are very predictable, if not consistent. I would have expected nothing less of you than to assume suppositions about my attitudes, loyalties, investments, need for stasis, and my complex relationship with authority. Simplistic rhetoric coming from you is disappointing. Actually, I was wondering what took you so long.I'm sorry you were disappointed. It was a simple statement of my observations and thoughts.
>
> > > Perhaps this thread should be redirected to Administration.
>
> > Please direct your future responses to Administration. Be the change you want to see!!!
>
> I would, except I don't know how. Could you please explain to me how to go about redirecting a thread?
>
> Thanks.Scott I wasn't suggesting you redirect the thread just your part of it since that is all you have control over and you are the one who wants this change. Just start a new topic on Admin for yourself and cut and paste anything you want to reply to.
>
> As you have an opinion, so have I.
>
> Gotta stir those pots...
>Good Luck with your culinary endeavors!
Posted by SLS on July 14, 2012, at 19:26:27
In reply to Re: If you Can't Say Anything Nice Talk To Me » SLS, posted by zazenducke on July 14, 2012, at 10:33:41
> > > > I did not see behaviors of Dinah that would lead me to judge her actions to be bullying.
> >
> > > I wouldn't expect you to Scott, but not because they weren't as I described. You are very invested in the status quo here and your deference towards authority has always been remarkable.
> >
> > You are very predictable, if not consistent. I would have expected nothing less of you than to assume suppositions about my attitudes, loyalties, investments, need for stasis, and my complex relationship with authority. Simplistic rhetoric coming from you is disappointing. Actually, I was wondering what took you so long.
> I'm sorry you were disappointed. It was a simple statement of my observations and thoughts.Perhaps they would have been better left unsaid in this environment. You must surely have a following on Psycho-Babble that looks forward with excitement to know your next statements that detail your observations and thoughts. I do not.
I don't think you are qualified to identify bullying in others (an irony). According to what I found when using Google, your characterization of Dinah as being a bully is inaccurate.
Here's the Wiki entry:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying
> > Gotta stir those pots...
> Good Luck with your culinary endeavors!
I don't cook. I thought you might.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on July 14, 2012, at 19:26:27
In reply to Re: If you Can't Say Anything Nice Talk To Me » zazenducke, posted by SLS on July 14, 2012, at 10:51:50
I'm sorry.
This is getting stupid.
- Scott
Posted by marylou333 on July 14, 2012, at 19:26:28
In reply to Re: If you Can't Say Anything Nice Talk To Me » zazenducke, posted by SLS on July 14, 2012, at 9:47:29
The plain truth is the mods had the power on Babble at one time, an they did whatever bob or they wanted to do, which was power related ,crushing anyone who go up there nose. Crazy ban,s longer than jail for murder in some case,s ,humiliation to mentaly sick people was the result.I say that being cival is the way you look at a person,not the way they may act under depression.More distess was caused by blocks than any illness they suffered, it was like your shrink had struck you off for just for being ill .It was all for website rateing,s ,block the people who may harm the rateings never mind it may make them even more ill.Thank common sence that now web sites except people rant in illness and are not puppets for a website rateing. People see babble an same people still ill after everyones med advice .You have been posting years with the same illness, why would the want to listen to someone telling them how to treat something they carnt treat for themself. An scott im working class so cut the dictionary talk it not smart its toe curling
Posted by zazenducke on July 14, 2012, at 19:26:28
In reply to Re: If you Can't Say Anything Nice Talk To Me, posted by marylou333 on July 14, 2012, at 12:57:37
Thanks for the link Scott.I think Mary Lou made my points. It's about power. The power to block did hurt people and it was intentional. The deputies knew people might be blocked for months at a time when they acted. It was their choice. I believe the bullying that took place by Dinah was consistent with social aggression. It's purpose was social exclusion. Shaming labeling coercion etc etc etc. As someone with power she had more responsibility than if she was just a poster. She stood by while others were bullied by Bob and did nothing but enforce the bullying policies. It was her choice. But I'm sure she has other good and useful qualities.
.....................
Bullying is an act of repeated aggressive behavior in order to intentionally hurt another person, physically or mentally. Bullying is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person.[16]Norwegian researcher Dan Olweus defines bullying as when a person is
"exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons." He defines negative action as "when a person intentionally inflicts injury or discomfort upon another person, through physical contact, through words or in other ways".[17]
General
Bullying behavior may include name calling, verbal or written abuse, exclusion from activities, exclusion from social situations, physical abuse, or coercion.[13][18] Bullies may behave this way to be perceived as popular or tough or to get attention. They may bully out of jealousy or be acting out because they themselves are bullied.[19]
U.S. National Center for Education Statistics suggests that bullying can be classified into two categories:
Direct bullying, and
indirect bullying (which is also known as social aggression).[1]Ross states that direct bullying involves a great deal of physical aggression, such as shoving and poking, throwing things, slapping, choking, punching and kicking, beating, stabbing, pulling hair, scratching, biting, scraping, and pinching.[20]
He also suggests that social aggression or indirect bullying is characterized by attempting to socially isolate the victim. This isolation is achieved through a wide variety of techniques, including spreading gossip, refusing to socialize with the victim, bullying other people who wish to socialize with the victim, and criticizing the victim's manner of dress and other socially-significant markers (including the victim's race, religion, disability, sex, or sexual preference, etc.). Ross[20] outlines other forms of indirect bullying which are more subtle and more likely to be verbal, such as name calling, the silent treatment, arguing others into submission, manipulation, gossip/false gossip, lies, rumors/false rumors, staring, giggling, laughing at the victim, saying certain words that trigger a reaction from a past event, and mocking. The UK based children's charity, Act Against Bullying, was set up in 2003 to help children who were victims of this type of bullying by researching and publishing coping skills.
It has been noted that there tend to be differences in how bullying manifests itself between the sexes. Males tend to be more likely to be physically aggressive whereas females tend to favour exclusion and mockery, though it has been noticed that females are becoming more physical in their bullying,[16] whereas conversely, males tend to opt for exclusion and mockery rather than physical aggression when the victim is perceived as too strong, or being physical would otherwise cause problems for the bullies (i.e., cowardice), and/or the bullies see physical aggression as immature (i.e., the bullying is occurring among adults).
Posted by Dinah on July 14, 2012, at 19:26:28
In reply to Re: If you Can't Say Anything Nice Talk To Me, posted by zazenducke on July 14, 2012, at 13:17:42
Well, clearly you'll think what you want about me. And clearly in today's Babble, you can say what you like about me.
I still think we're more alike than different. I think of you as sort of a deputy in your own way. You just deliver your administrative actions with words, and based on your own interpretations and civility rules. I often admire your defense of others, if not necessarily the way you go about it. I definitely don't agree with the people you think of as worthy of punishment. It seems to me to be based more on your perception of authority than anything else. But I could be wrong. Obviously we don't view civility in the same way.
I agonized over every decision I ever made. Anyone who knows me can verify that. I hope you also give a great deal of thought to your actions. Give thought to your own power. You have just as much as anyone on Babble.
Posted by Dinah on July 14, 2012, at 19:26:29
In reply to Re: If you Can't Say Anything Nice Talk To Me, posted by Emily Elizabeth on July 14, 2012, at 9:09:38
Thanks, Emily Elizabeth.
I'll agree with you about Scott. I not only appreciate his generosity in reaching out to others, but admire his ability to smooth troubled waters.
Posted by marylou333 on July 15, 2012, at 3:31:50
In reply to Re: If you Can't Say Anything Nice Talk To Me » SLS, posted by Phillipa on July 14, 2012, at 19:26:26
Scott does not smooth troubled waters, he turn,s it into a rageing sea of upperclass waffle an one upmanship with any one who challenges his life ruining med combo,s half of which are banned in England as deemed unsafe.The reason we dont get meds combos of many med,s in ENGLAND is cost, you will find that out for yourself when you adopt our system . Plus most shrink.s dont have faith in any MEDS. plus we tend to take less as we prefere sex an weight nutral to fat zombie.your tight little commuity is broken by phillipa who updates, me 2 times a week wether i want to or not.A lady giveing advice an is the main block causer over years with email harassment, jesus her 3 kids have disowned her.Bob never blocked her , instead blocked the people she harrased as she used email to inform bob of any inside rebelion she weasled out of PM posters she got me blocked numourous time an still emails me, an yes i talk to her no grude held, its her illness so i except it.I am mad at the way i was treated as i am just the same on rethink mental health and have many friends for saying it like it is, we have a forum called the kitchen were you say what you like within reason an not get banned, but only inthis kitchen forum, also we have an edit button so people like me can go over an look for dyslexic spelling.you can edit but not deleat.You really carnt survive without interacting with the real world not 20 years ago todays world. an answer all embarrasing questions,like sex something most of you have forgot mabye years ago with combo impotent probs. You carnt survive on just a medication forum but i fear you carnt change, nobody can interact with todays young drug induced mentally ill. An scott im not in a bad place , i take minimum meds 100mg sertraline an 4mg ativan 2mg 6am 2mg9pm its near on part of my DNA .I do have scar,s from earlier on 12mg a day ativan washed down with 1Lt of vodka.I have been hospitalized with pancritis 3 times, gall bladder removed , bile track ruptured. kidney low function strangly not liver.my colesterol is high tyroid all over the place stomach meds dayly for lineing protection.I get by on the least shrink meds i can i live on the edge of med help maybe us brits are made of stronger stuff.Why not just have a babble old days forum AN ALL WOLLOW IN THE GOD THAT IS BOB
Posted by zazenducke on July 15, 2012, at 6:17:30
In reply to Re: If you Can't Say Anything Nice Talk To Me » Emily Elizabeth, posted by Dinah on July 14, 2012, at 19:26:29
I would disagree with this characterization of Scotts contribution to this thread. Of course with Scott it's always a little difficult to ferret out the meaning of his verbal productions:)so who knows for sure?
Posted by Emme_V2 on July 15, 2012, at 8:08:19
In reply to Smoothing troubled waters? » Dinah, posted by zazenducke on July 15, 2012, at 6:17:30
Don't people have anything better to do than write vitriol about other people on a board that's supposed to be for mutual support? I just don't get it. There are so many better ways to spend one's energy. There are nice people here. Scott and Dinah are two of them. What's up with the harshness against them? (That was a rhetorical question.) Can the board get back to the mutual support thing?
Posted by zazenducke on July 15, 2012, at 8:30:52
In reply to Go wash the dishes or something, posted by Emme_V2 on July 15, 2012, at 8:08:19
Posted by Dinah on July 15, 2012, at 8:52:12
In reply to Smoothing troubled waters? » Dinah, posted by zazenducke on July 15, 2012, at 6:17:30
I was speaking of Scott in general. Many is the time that I've seen him defuse a situation.
I daresay even the most peaceloving of people reach their limit eventually when provoked. Your style of address to Scott is pretty consistent. As it is to me, and to most deputies/ex-deputies, and a few other people you seem to connect with the administration.
Did I see mocking mentioned in that quote you gave? The one that started
"Norwegian researcher Dan Olweus defines bullying as when a person is
"exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons.""
You keep mentioning snark and snorts long after their have been any snark or snorts. Why bring up things from years and years ago over and over again long after the events have ended and not been repeated? Out of context and with no provocation? Do you not see that as exposing another person repeatedly and over time to negative actions on the part of another?
Even if you believe that a person enforcing site guidelines because they believe in site guidelines is bullying, do you not see that clever remarks by a clever poster made consistently over time fits the criteria as well? Even under your understanding of it?
I give you the credit of believing that you are railing against perceived power and believe yourself justified. I give you this credit because I see you posting quite kindly to people whom you perceive as having no power. And because I see you intervening in the same sort of situations I wish to intervene in. But do you not see your own use of power? Do you never question whether it's really ok to treat others the way you do because of how you perceive them?
Look in the mirror, zzd. Even your own mirror with your own world view.
If I didn't credit you with decent motives, I wouldn't be trying to say this to you. And it could be that I'm wrong to do that. But I wonder if you try to change your attitude towards those you perceive as misusing power, you might learn to feel differently. I'm reasonably certain that Scott would also be willing to try a reset. I've always expressed my willingness to do so. And for that matter, my experience with you has not been consistently negative. I've quite enjoyed some of our interchanges and many of your positive and helpful interchanges with others.
Posted by zazenducke on July 15, 2012, at 9:18:39
In reply to Re: Smoothing troubled waters? » zazenducke, posted by Dinah on July 15, 2012, at 8:52:12
Dinah if I bring up things from years ago it's because I was blocked for years at a time. That's what I remember.
I believe the effects of the bullying on Babble by the deputies will last for a long long time for fragile people.
I will never forget when you blocked Brio after he had survived Katrina. THAT is bullying. And YOU are responsible. It was your choice.
I pointed out this comment because it is typical of the passive aggressive attacks that were made within the limits of civility by deputies ;) for so many years but if you were referring to Scott in general of course you are strictly in the clear! I thought you were complimenting him on his "pot stirring" and sarcasm on this thread.
My mistake.
Posted by Dinah on July 15, 2012, at 10:00:43
In reply to Re: Smoothing troubled waters?, posted by zazenducke on July 15, 2012, at 9:18:39
I don't like commenting on particular instances. But had I understood the situation with Brio after Katrina, I wouldn't have followed what I saw as my duty under site guidelines and blocked him. I do think there are instances when breaking site guidelines is understandable and should be overlooked, and Katrina is definitely one of them. I believe I expressed my regret at the time, and I regret it this long time after. Had I been able to undo it once I understood, I would have. I couldn't. Perhaps Katrina contributed to my own slow comprehension of the realities of the situation. I was distraught myself, and in fact stepped down as deputy for a while, if I remember correctly.
But also perhaps when certain things are expected from people, it's too easy to see those things in their behavior. I won't deny that I am human in that regard. And I'm glad that you see it is also possible for you. I have long thought you interpreted some of my posts in a manner I never meant them. I am not really all that clever in my posts. The most earnest and dull interpretation is likely the correct one. I suffer from scrupulousness in the OCD sense. My posts reflect that.
I will concede that the effect of the subconscious can't be discounted. However, yesterday my subconscious was innocent.
Thank you for your apology. I appreciate that.
Posted by Dinah on July 15, 2012, at 10:12:13
In reply to Re: Smoothing troubled waters? » zazenducke, posted by Dinah on July 15, 2012, at 10:00:43
Regret is such an inadequate word. Or perhaps it's used in too many circumstances. One regrets declining a kind invitation.
Yet I can also regret causing pain, a pain I could empathize with only too well. Regret can lay like a leaden ball in the belly.
Posted by Phillipa on July 15, 2012, at 10:34:14
In reply to Re: Smoothing troubled waters?, posted by Dinah on July 15, 2012, at 10:12:13
I thought the entire thread had disappeared. I'm sorry to see what was meant as a thread to restore harmony and caring to people's responses turn into a in my opinion a horrible thread. Seems doesn't matter the topic it turns and becomes rather nasty at time. Also surprised to see blocked poster poster again. And Dinah you in my opinion are and always have been sweet and kind and fair. I hope you are better today. And here I thought the thread had disappeared. No notifications that threads are being redirected anymore. Also is there a reason that after you click on a post that it no longer changes color so you know where you have read too? Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on July 15, 2012, at 10:55:01
In reply to Re: Smoothing troubled waters?, posted by Phillipa on July 15, 2012, at 10:34:14
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120630/msgs/1021427.html
There was a redirect. When the posts are transferred over, apparently the browser sees them as new posts so don't show as read. I've never been entirely sure of how you access Babble. You've mentioned google, etc. in ways I don't understand. Do you mean that Babble is your homepage?
Thank you for your kind words. I'm ok, Phillipa.
I was worried myself whether you meant me by your initial post. I think posts pointing out bad behavior by unmentioned posters might leave many posters feeling a bit defensive. Posters you never had in mind. But it probably wouldn't be all that helpful to clarify.
Perhaps a supportive statement on the original thread might be the best option? Much like the one you made about me. That way if there is incivility, at least the poster on the receiving end of it won't feel alone and abandoned, or as if everyone on the site agreed. I remember from middle school that that was the worst part of it.
And I'm entirely in favor of complaining about Bob's abandonment.
Posted by Phillipa on July 15, 2012, at 19:42:53
In reply to Re: Smoothing troubled waters? » Phillipa, posted by Dinah on July 15, 2012, at 10:55:01
Dinah just clicked the redirect post as sometimes don't have time to finish messages. To answer your question I guess technically I don't have a homepage. When I open my computer it goes to mail first. And I scan what is there. I do not have a google bar on there hence I access babble and use the one on bottom of page. Habit and also the way this computer was configurated when bought it. I recall reading some posts that just sounded more accusatory than supportive hence the thread.I do believe the poster in question changed their posting style soon after this thread was posted. Phillipa
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