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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 68 to 92 of 110. Go back in thread:
Posted by confuzyq on August 15, 2007, at 18:47:44
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 10:14:39
> No I did not disclose any info.
> Again I'm sorry for any fear you may have and don't know what else I can do. Any suggestions? Phillipa
It could be as simple as a straightforward answer to this:Original quote: "[xx] I forgot to tell you my therapist does remember going to school with you although you were a year apart should make you feel good."
How is it that you were able to get the above therapist/healthcare provider to recognize who you meant without saying her name (or some identifying version of it, nickname, etc.)?
I think that could clear it all up.
Posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 19:20:23
In reply to Re: Suggestion » Phillipa, posted by confuzyq on August 15, 2007, at 18:47:44
Simple first session Oh I met someone named xxxxxxx on the internet that said she went to school with you the therapist's answer that's nice . Do you know who . I said no only by the name of xxxxxx. Old posting name to be inserted here first name only a quite common one like suzie. Is that clearer I hope so. Phillipa For me to say the old posting name would be discloser of info from this site.
Posted by confuzyq on August 15, 2007, at 19:56:21
In reply to Re: Suggestion » confuzyq, posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 19:20:23
> Simple first session Oh I met someone named xxxxxxx on the internet that said she went to school with you the therapist's answer that's nice . Do you know who . I said no only by the name of xxxxxx. Old posting name to be inserted here first name only a quite common one like suzie. Is that clearer I hope so. Phillipa For me to say the old posting name would be discloser of info from this site.
Ok do I understand correctly:
You mentioned a posting name only but didn't expect it to be something that the therapist would somehow connect to the actual person. But it was?
Posted by Honore on August 15, 2007, at 20:01:03
In reply to Re: Suggestion » confuzyq, posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 19:20:23
So you're saying that the babbler in question told you that she went to school with a T that you had never met with before? And you had told her his name, and she mentioned, casually, that she knew him from school?
And then all you said was "I know someone" and then you said the person's posting name, which was a common first name-- which presumbly was her real name, since your T believed that he knew her. And also your old T, whom you were seeing at the time that the babbler used a common first name, is the same T that you're seeing now?
Because I thought you were seeing a new T, with whom you started fairly recently, and the babbler in question hasn't been using a first name that's a common name for at least a year.
Honore
Posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 21:39:12
In reply to Re: Now, I don't understand » Phillipa, posted by Honore on August 15, 2007, at 20:01:03
New therapist first session but I haven't known the person I speak of for a year. As the person didn't have a strange name. Does that mean someone not me made a mistake? Or that the person isn't telling the facts of the length of the realation or the length of time of using that name. Hummm interesting to say the least. I didn't have a therapist a year ago this one I've seen four times. Phillipa
Posted by OzLand on August 15, 2007, at 21:40:40
In reply to Re: Suggestion » confuzyq, posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 19:20:23
Here's the thing. In my opinion, unless you used a first and last name, your therapist would not know who you were referring to especially since you say your therapist said she was one year ahead or behind OzLand in school.
Posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 21:55:22
In reply to Re: Now, I don't understand » Phillipa, posted by Honore on August 15, 2007, at 20:01:03
She said oh that's nice we're here to talk about you not your husband or anyone else we must stay on track . We only talk about you and no I don't want to talk to your husband in the waiting room. When with a client you must stay focused. Homework to do. See her every three weeks she isn't kind at all just work oriented toward the client and their needs. My poor husband wasn't even allowed to say hello. Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 22:13:22
In reply to Re: Suggestion » Phillipa, posted by OzLand on August 15, 2007, at 21:40:40
I said that not her. Yes I said Ozland went to school with you but was a year behind you. If I'd said that I'd be locked up right now. Night. Phillipa a lot of buying to do tomorrow.
Posted by confuzyq on August 15, 2007, at 22:40:13
In reply to Re: Suggestion » OzLand, posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 22:13:22
> I said that not her. Yes I said Ozland went to school with you but was a year behind you. If I'd said that I'd be locked up right now.
Is the bottom line that:
1. however you referred to this person (by first name, posting name/s, both, or whatever), the therapist did end up knowing who you meant in reality? (Yes or no.)
2. since you apparently did mention posting name (whether former, current or both), did you also mention babble specifically? (Yes or no.)
Maybe these two could help towards clearing up remaining confusion, or at least towards lending perspective.
Posted by RealMe on August 15, 2007, at 22:43:24
In reply to Re: Suggestion » OzLand, posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 22:13:22
> I said that not her. Yes I said Ozland went to school with you but was a year behind you. If I'd said that I'd be locked up right now. Night. Phillipa a lot of buying to do tomorrow.
How would you know I was a year behind her when I don't even know who your therapist is???? Yes; this is me, OzLand.For some reason when I posted, it posted under my old post name, and I think I have it all fixed now. I let Administration know this in another post.
So, what school are you even talking about? I don't even know that for sure. I am guessing Menninger's but don't know for sure. Again, how would you know I was a year behind your therapist in school. You have never told me your therapist's name. I just don't understand your whole thread beginning in Psychology and saying your therapist knows me and then saying you don't have a therapist and never did and then saying you do now. I have no idea your therapist's name, and so how could I say I was a year behind this person. How would you know that????
And, yes you knew and have know my real name and my posting names as they have changed over the past two years. You even emailed (yes emailed not babblemailed) me in July of this year to say you knew it was me as OzLand, in part because of my writing style. With the thread on Psychology after I was upset about you saying your therapist knew me, you emailed me twice and addressed me by my name (at my other email address). We also emailed up until mid April of this year, 2007. I don't have anything to hide. I am feeling very hurt, angry, and you name it as I have also learned what you have said about me in emails to others. Of course Dr. Bob has all that too. So, I really would appreciate it if anyone gets an email or babblemail from you that says something derrogatory about me or anyone else that it would go straight to Dr. Bob. I should think this should hold true for anyone who says malicous things about someone else here.
I am beginning to have a very difficult time as a result of all this. I was starting to feel better and probably should not have looked at your posts as I started to feel very upset all over again once I did look. I apologize to anyone who may be upset by my post. I probably am more upset than anyone at this point.
The RealMe
Posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 22:52:43
In reply to Re: Suggestion » Phillipa, posted by RealMe on August 15, 2007, at 22:43:24
So now I have no idea who you are but you did recommmend the therapist from a website I sent to you. I have the e-mail and would be glad to send it to you. As above Denise referred to you as xxxxx and xxxxxx so I I knew you a year ago I don't know who you are. I could also post the e-mail here? Your choice. Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 22:58:55
In reply to Re: Suggestion » RealMe, posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 22:52:43
Google says you were xxxxxxx back last year on the EMSAM thread. Now I'll check the date of the first e-mail or babblemail from xxxxxxx. thanks for the archives. Phillipa
Posted by Gabbi-2 on August 15, 2007, at 23:11:18
In reply to Re: Suggestion » RealMe, posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 22:52:43
Phillipa I don't believe what you're saying. And I mean, 'I don't believe it' in either way that can be taken.
Posted by RealMe on August 15, 2007, at 23:11:25
In reply to Re: Suggestion » RealMe, posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 22:52:43
> So now I have no idea who you are but you did recommmend the therapist from a website I sent to you. I have the e-mail and would be glad to send it to you. As above Denise referred to you as xxxxx and xxxxxx so I I knew you a year ago I don't know who you are. I could also post the e-mail here? Your choice. Phillipa
What is this all about, Phillipa? I just told you in my last post that I was OzLand, and now I see you are telling everyone what name I first used. Perhaps you did send me a website; I have all the emails you ever sent me and I sent you, and I will check. You also emailed me this past Saturday and used my real name. Dr. Bob has those emails as well as the one from July.You did not have my permission to post my old name. If Denise used my old names on posts, I am not sure how she knew that OzLand was previously known under other names. I guess she would have to speak to that. Regarding your therapist, I still to this day do not know who you have been seeing. And, no it is not okay for you to post emails here. You can send it to Dr. Bob if you like. I do not appreciate one bit what you are saying about me. Please stop.
Posted by Deputy Dinah on August 15, 2007, at 23:30:18
In reply to Re: Suggestion, posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 22:58:55
> Google says you were xxxxxxxxx back last year on the EMSAM thread.
Please don't post previous posting names without the permission of the poster involved.
You've been warned before about this issue, so I'm going to block you from posting for a week.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
Dinah, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 16, 2007, at 7:44:22
In reply to Re: Suggestion » Phillipa, posted by RealMe on August 15, 2007, at 22:43:24
RealMe writes:
>
> And, yes you knew and have know my real name and my posting names as they have changed over the past two years. You even emailed (yes emailed not babblemailed) me in July of this year to say you knew it was me as OzLand, in part because of my writing style. With the thread on Psychology after I was upset about you saying your therapist knew me, you emailed me twice and addressed me by my name (at my other email address). We also emailed up until mid April of this year, 2007. I don't have anything to hide. I am feeling very hurt, angry, and you name it as I have also learned what you have said about me in emails to others. Of course Dr. Bob has all that too. So, I really would appreciate it if anyone gets an email or babblemail from you that says something derrogatory about me or anyone else that it would go straight to Dr. Bob. I should think this should hold true for anyone who says malicous things about someone else here.
>If it weren't against policy to divulge the content of babblemails on the boards, I think this whole thing could be laid out into the open very quickly and with great certainty about what Phillipa knew about Ozland's real-life identity, whether Ozland had a former posting name, and whether Phillipa knew the link between the two posting names.
Don't think this is an isolated incident either. This could happen to any of you.
Judging the number of cc'd email addresses in my last email from Phillipa (email, not bmail) She has passed on (inadvertantly?) the names and e-mail addresses of at least fifty babblers to one another.
I didn't ask for your personal information, and I'm willing to bet that you didn't ask for it to be passed on to LlurpsieNoodle. Now you'll have to trust me and the other hundred-something people cc'd on that e-mail that we won't abuse it.
It takes trust though. One person can undermine trust.
If any of you receive babblemails that you believe are abusive, passing along false information about another poster, passing along confidential information about another poster, derogatory remarks about another poster- well it's really your duty to report it. It might be YOU next time. really.
-Ll
Posted by planetzero on August 16, 2007, at 8:54:30
In reply to Re: Suggestion)Phillipa, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 16, 2007, at 7:44:22
How did she get your e-mail?
Did you give it to her? - I have been e-mailed with questions like, who are you, what was your previous posting name - where do you live, what do you do? Sometimes the sender gives me their name and e-mail address - they want to be pen-pals, I guess.
I just delete, delete, delete. I don't know you, didn't ask for the info, I don't want the info & I definitely do not want to give you mine. Isn't there some rules about netiquette somewhere?
I guess, point is - don't give out personal info, including e-mail addy's. Having someone come on to you is just that - a come on. See it for what it is. Too many hard lessons have been learned.
Posted by Fivefires on August 16, 2007, at 11:05:27
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 10:14:39
> No I did not disclose any info. At the time I forgot gg wasn't acting as a deputy anymore and thought I must do what she asked. Hence the post.>
>What exactly did you feel you were being asked to do by one whom you thought was a deputy? Can you explain in more detail? Maybe you feel you can't? How are you feeling? RU feeling like exiting stage-left off babble and never coming back? All this arguing is personally making me very ill.
>Again I'm sorry for any fear you may have and don't know what else I can do.>
>You've apologized. You're giving babblers an opening here to respond. But, I feel like everyone's 'digging around trying to understand this discombobulated situation'.
But Phillipa, can you explain it any other way than you already have? Is it wearing on you? I say because I feel you keep saying the same thing over and over, and I'm wondering if you feel we don't believe you? Aren't you just exhausted? If you've said all there is to say, that's all you can do, and you've apologized as well.
Phillipa, you are always here (Maybe you miss a few days a month!?), probably post more than anyone, never leave anyone lonely, come up w/ clever connections in threads, and manage to be all over the site everyday. Do you think maybe you began to feel 'more like a part of the crew than the cast'? (Do I have that backwards?)
If I were in your place, I might very likely come to feel some responsibilities which truely weren't my responsibility here.
Do you think maybe this happened?
>
Any suggestions? Phillipa>
>Contact administrators.
No, really. (You've already done so haven't you?)
Just a few days ago, I learned from a deputy, I cannot speak to them about another babbler. I wanted to tell one of them of a babbler who seemed in trouble and share that maybe someone could respond. I was told, "I cannot speak about any babbler with any other babbler. Use the *contact administrators* option to do this."
Can you do anymore than you're doing right now Phillipa? Hang in here. Hopefully, we'll hear from a deputy or Dr. Bob.
I still like the whole 'hemolele' idea myself. We're just humans un-beings afterall; okay I'll speak for myself.
Please deputies, or Dr. Bob, if there is something all of babble need not know, just say so, or vice versa.
I don't feel this is fair to the babble community. We can't take care of ourselves all by ourselves; okay I'll speak for myself again.
I'd like Oz to return when comfortable and we can just all get along.(?) Sorry Oz. I wasn't mad AT you & way DON'T dislike you. I think I felt a little taken aback at a side of you I wasn't familiar with. You are always the one w/ the off-the-wall jokes I only wish I could tell as well. Come back funny one.
W/o some intervention, this is going nowhere.
I've been typing this for hours now. You're prob' all gonna' skip it becuz' you've already resolved this whole discombobulated issue(s)! :(
5f
Posted by sunnydays on August 16, 2007, at 15:33:34
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Fivefires on August 16, 2007, at 11:05:27
Just a note that Phillipa can't respond to you right now because a couple posts above in this thread she was blocked for a week. Just wanted to let you know so you weren't concerned if she didn't respond.
sunnydays
Posted by Gabbi-2 on August 16, 2007, at 15:49:04
In reply to Re: Suggestion)Phillipa » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by planetzero on August 16, 2007, at 8:54:30
I've managed to nip that sort of thing in the bud too. I just hate gossip. I hate it. Everyone has a friend or two they share things with, but that's a bit different.
I think sometimes though when people are feeling low, or lonely, they may let their guard down a little, so it's good to be warned, especially about "global" emails. Even if you give out your email addy, it may not occur to you that someone would feel free to attach it to a letter with 20 other names on it.
Posted by Fivefires on August 16, 2007, at 15:52:31
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal » Fivefires, posted by sunnydays on August 16, 2007, at 15:33:34
Thoughtful. Thank you so much.
5f
Posted by confuzyq on August 16, 2007, at 16:25:29
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Fivefires on August 16, 2007, at 11:05:27
5f, have you read the entire thread, back from where it started on the Psych board? Thought maybe you didn't since at one point you said you hadn't seen any PBC to you (did see it later); and in a recent post you didn't realize Phillipa had been blocked just a couple posts above.
Anyway if you haven't read the whole thing yet, doing so might shed more light for you on the things you are wondering about regarding the reactions, handling, etc. of this matter. (Re the thread not getting anywhere, myself I think it did. Altho of course strong emotions remain.)
On the other hand, you said that the "arguing" was making you feel ill, so you may very understandably not want to read the whole thread going back to Psych and carrying over here. But we all know the classic answer to that, don't read any of it if it is upsetting you. The main parties in this may also be able to begin healing better without the additional weight of others becoming upset because of it too, unless as voluntary participants they've accepted the fact that they are taking responsibility for that themselves, because it's worth it to them.
> > No I did not disclose any info. At the time I forgot gg wasn't acting as a deputy anymore and thought I must do what she asked. Hence the post.>
> >
>
> What exactly did you feel you were being asked to do by one whom you thought was a deputy? Can you explain in more detail? Maybe you feel you can't? How are you feeling? RU feeling like exiting stage-left off babble and never coming back? All this arguing is personally making me very ill.
>
> >Again I'm sorry for any fear you may have and don't know what else I can do.>
> >
>
> You've apologized. You're giving babblers an opening here to respond. But, I feel like everyone's 'digging around trying to understand this discombobulated situation'.
>
> But Phillipa, can you explain it any other way than you already have? Is it wearing on you? I say because I feel you keep saying the same thing over and over, and I'm wondering if you feel we don't believe you? Aren't you just exhausted? If you've said all there is to say, that's all you can do, and you've apologized as well.
>
> Phillipa, you are always here (Maybe you miss a few days a month!?), probably post more than anyone, never leave anyone lonely, come up w/ clever connections in threads, and manage to be all over the site everyday. Do you think maybe you began to feel 'more like a part of the crew than the cast'? (Do I have that backwards?)
>
> If I were in your place, I might very likely come to feel some responsibilities which truely weren't my responsibility here.
>
> Do you think maybe this happened?
>
> >
> Any suggestions? Phillipa>
> >
>
> Contact administrators.
>
> No, really. (You've already done so haven't you?)
>
> Just a few days ago, I learned from a deputy, I cannot speak to them about another babbler. I wanted to tell one of them of a babbler who seemed in trouble and share that maybe someone could respond. I was told, "I cannot speak about any babbler with any other babbler. Use the *contact administrators* option to do this."
>
> Can you do anymore than you're doing right now Phillipa? Hang in here. Hopefully, we'll hear from a deputy or Dr. Bob.
>
> I still like the whole 'hemolele' idea myself. We're just humans un-beings afterall; okay I'll speak for myself.
>
> Please deputies, or Dr. Bob, if there is something all of babble need not know, just say so, or vice versa.
>
> I don't feel this is fair to the babble community. We can't take care of ourselves all by ourselves; okay I'll speak for myself again.
>
> I'd like Oz to return when comfortable and we can just all get along.(?) Sorry Oz. I wasn't mad AT you & way DON'T dislike you. I think I felt a little taken aback at a side of you I wasn't familiar with. You are always the one w/ the off-the-wall jokes I only wish I could tell as well. Come back funny one.
>
> W/o some intervention, this is going nowhere.
>
> I've been typing this for hours now. You're prob' all gonna' skip it becuz' you've already resolved this whole discombobulated issue(s)! :(
>
> 5f
>
Posted by RealMe on August 16, 2007, at 21:16:48
In reply to Re: Suggestion)Phillipa, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 16, 2007, at 7:44:22
I would only add that emails be passed on to Dr. Bob too. He asked for those as well as babblemails.
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 17, 2007, at 0:09:13
In reply to Re: Please be civil - I wish to address this PBC, posted by Fivefires on August 13, 2007, at 17:54:58
> > I feel there's 'an attack' in your statement.
>
> I did not say, 'There's an attack in your statement'. I said, 'what I felt’OK, but saying you feel that can lead others to feel accused. Could you say how you felt in terms of what your emotional state was like after you read her statement?
Bob
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 17, 2007, at 0:09:19
In reply to Re: Suggestion » Phillipa, posted by Gabbi-2 on August 15, 2007, at 23:11:18
> Phillipa I don't believe what you're saying.
Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please first see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
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