Psycho-Babble Administration Thread 775653

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Re: Please be civil - I wish to address this PBC

Posted by Fivefires on August 13, 2007, at 17:54:58

In reply to Please be civil » Fivefires, posted by Deputy 10derheart on August 12, 2007, at 18:01:49

> >I feel there's 'an attack' in your statement.

I did not say, 'There's an attack in your statement'. I said, 'what I felt’, and I further suggested I did NOT believe it was the poster's intention to attack.

> > There wasn't a problem very acutely visible to others until you reacted.
>

What I meant here is ‘I and any others, who weren't involved in the situation occurring, and didn't have knowledge of the level of privacy there was in this poster to poster relationship' would have been less drawn to pay any attention if the poster had not responded, but instead chosen to use the babble feature if possible, or notified administration. I understand it's so hard not to react; I do it way too much. But here online, we have time 'to think' before we hit the send button. These two posters have been across the wires from me for years, so I know they've been across the wires from each other for years, and I wished, out of the length of the relationship at least, the poster had chosen one of the latter options. There would have been less pain and less publicity.

> > You may deserve to be and feel angry, but afa I understand, we're not allowed to attack one another here.
>

The poster used the other poster's name and spoke to others about how she felt angry towards her in at least one post. The definition of attack is 'to speak or write against another'.


> Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down, and please don't jump to conclusions about others.
>
> If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
>
> Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
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> Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
>
> 10derHeart, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob
>
>
>
>
>
>

 

Re: I cannot post here ever again » Fivefires

Posted by sunnydays on August 13, 2007, at 18:04:05

In reply to Re: I cannot post here ever again, posted by Fivefires on August 13, 2007, at 12:17:35

Never mind. My life is going downhill faster than I can say. I can't deal with this anymore right now. I'm sorry you feel I was lecturing you. Not my intention at all. And my intention in saying you're entitled to offer an idea was more to acknowledge for myself that everyone's allowed to have their own ideas even if I don't agree with them. Nothing more. I'm sorry if I've hurt or offended you. I'm just having an incredibly hard time today and I won't be replying anymore to this thread. Just not worth the stress to my mental health.

sunnydays

 

Re: I cannot post here ever again

Posted by Fivefires on August 13, 2007, at 18:24:45

In reply to Re: I cannot post here ever again » Fivefires, posted by sunnydays on August 13, 2007, at 18:04:05

Well thank you, and I apologize as well.

I hope you're still here.

No, you know what? I thought you were very articulate and made perfect sense about privacy and you could maybe even write something up here for the site.

I guess I was taking it a little too, sort of, at me, or, well, personally. (I hate that word.) See that was supposed to be sort of funny, but, no, I'm not in the mood for laughing either. I'm having an incredibly hard day as well. I'm very depressed and Pdoc hasn't responded to 3x calling.

It's difficult w/o inflection here and I'm not sure that we've known one another very long. I joke around quite a bit.

This was a very bad situation for everyone.

I hope you feel better.

5f

 

Re: Accomplished the Goal

Posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:25:05

In reply to Re: please be civil » gardenergirl, posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2007, at 18:02:25

Well I accomplished what you wanted I stopped the thread but I never disclosed info to my therapist about another poster. Said it to stop the thread and hopefully calm you all down. The only person I know of is Dr. Bob who is using babble as a research tool for the University of Chicago I think. And his presentations. I have pics posted by babblers of themselves and others sent them to me or other posters sent them to me. Now put on google and write in med checker and use the internet google. Babble comes right up. Phillipa ps I've send an e-mail with my therapist's name to Dr. Bob and how to reach her. So that will clear things up as you have nothing to fear from me. I'm just trying to learn and help other people feel good about themselves as can't nurse anymore too many medical problems back and auto immune. Sorry that you all got so upset.

 

Re: Accomplished the Goal

Posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:38:54

In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:25:05

How strange this time it doesn't come up under med checker also tried vivactil as was researching so not the right name. My apologies on that but the rest of the post is true. I'm going to try a few more. Phillipa

 

Re: Can't find to late tonight

Posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:43:19

In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:38:54

Sorry I can't find it tonight can't figure out what I put into the search anyway I'm a clutch with computers. So my apologies again. Phillipa

 

Re Gone

Posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:56:59

In reply to Re: Can't find to late tonight, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:43:19

Gone can't figure out what I entered. I'm sorry. Phillipa goofed again.

 

Re: Accomplished the Goal

Posted by mike lynch on August 15, 2007, at 1:03:03

In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:25:05

> Well I accomplished what you wanted I stopped the >thread but I never disclosed info to my therapist >about another poster.

Didn't Dr. Bob say something about "not posting information you know not to be true" Was that quote in doctor bobs quote yours or not? I don't understand why you apologize, then insist that you did nothing wrong?? When the quote suggests otherwise

 

Re: Accomplished the Goal » Phillipa

Posted by RealMe on August 15, 2007, at 1:08:15

In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:25:05

To me it seems you are contradicting yourself from what was posted from you before to OzLand and also from what is on Dr. Bobs post. I don't understand this at all. Did you forget what you said before?

 

Re: Accomplished the Goal » Phillipa

Posted by Quintal on August 15, 2007, at 2:23:01

In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:25:05

>Well I accomplished what you wanted I stopped the thread but I never disclosed info to my therapist about another poster.

Phillipa, why are you saying this now? If this is true, then why did you say this at the beginning of the thread?:

>Oz I forgot to tell you my therapist does remember going to school with you although you were a year apart should make you feel good. And glad the theraphy is going well. Makes the long early ride worth it. Love Phillipa
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070807/msgs/775483.htm

Q

 

Re: Accomplished the Goal » Phillipa

Posted by Glydin on August 15, 2007, at 6:56:47

In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:25:05

> Well I accomplished what you wanted I stopped the thread but I never disclosed info to my therapist about another poster.

~~~ Uh, does the information you're posting here directly conflict with previous posts after a warning about posting false info?

I'm confused.

 

Re: Accomplished the Goal » Phillipa

Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 15, 2007, at 7:49:11

In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:25:05

> Well I accomplished what you wanted I stopped the thread but I never disclosed info to my therapist about another poster. Said it to stop the thread and hopefully calm you all down.

So did you, or did you not disclose information about another poster to your therapist? I'm confused.

>I've send an e-mail with my therapist's name to Dr. Bob and how to reach her. So that will clear things up as you have nothing to fear from me.

Did you give your therapist a release form signed by you that Dr. Bob has access to the content of your session/s? If not, then giving Dr. Bob your T's contact information is useless. They are bound by strict confidentiality. I'm not sure that this is the best way for you to allay fears. What if Dr. Bob doesn't have time or energy to figure out exactly what you did or didn't say to someone? Wouldn't it be more straightforward if you just told us the truth yourself?

>I'm just trying to learn and help other people feel good about themselves as can't nurse anymore too many medical problems back and auto immune. Sorry that you all got so upset.

Phillipa, I didn't realize that you weren't going to be going back to nursing. I thought that this was a goal of yours? I'm very sorry to hear that you've had to give up on it. I hope a day will come soon when you have a little more strength and can get out and make a new dream for yourself.


-Ll

 

Re: Accomplished the Goal » Phillipa

Posted by planetzero on August 15, 2007, at 8:56:25

In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:25:05

> Well I accomplished what you wanted I stopped the thread but I never disclosed info to my therapist about another poster.

No, not accomplished, but thanks for trying. What is true or isn't - I don't think I'll ever know.

>Said it to stop the thread and hopefully calm you all down.

So what you said is false?

>The only person I know of is Dr. Bob who is using babble as a research tool for the University of Chicago I think. And his presentations.

Dr. Bob doesn't use this site for research anymore, unless you know something the rest of us don't. Again, this is false information, phillipa.

>I have pics posted by babblers of themselves and others sent them to me or other posters sent them to me.

That's nice. Do you have any info you got through a third party (another babbler) - ie not from the original sender. If you do, I would hope you would delete them.

>Now put on google and write in med checker and use the internet google. Babble comes right up.

Maybe for you, but not for me.


>Phillipa ps I've send an e-mail with my therapist's name to Dr. Bob and how to reach her.
So that will clear things up as you have nothing to fear from me.

Really how? They are bound by laws of confidentiality.

>I'm just trying to learn and help other people feel good about themselves as can't nurse anymore too many medical problems back and auto immune.

That is a laudable thing to do - trying to help others, but spreading info you know to be false, or personal, or exagerrated is not helpful. You have posted contradictory information and I don't know (or will ever) what's true.

>Sorry that you all got so upset.

Me too.


 

Re: Accomplished the Goal » LlurpsieNoodle

Posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 10:14:39

In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal » Phillipa, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 15, 2007, at 7:49:11

No I did not disclose any info. At the time I forgot gg wasn't acting as a deputy anymore and thought I must do what she asked. Hence the post. Again I'm sorry for any fear you may have and don't know what else I can do. Any suggestions? Phillipa

 

Re: Accomplished the Goal » Phillipa

Posted by Honore on August 15, 2007, at 10:58:49

In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:25:05

Hi, Phillipa. You said in your apology. http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20070702/msgs/775820.html

"I'm very sorry for disclosing info about {xxx, named deleted by me] to an unnamed therapist."

So I think you did actually disclose information about a babbler to someone who knows the babbler IRL, but didn't know that s/he was on babble.

Also as we know and it's important to say, Dr. Bob is not and has said he is not conducting experiments on Babble. It's important because some other babblers are very comfortable about the idea that he might be. It's important not to say things that aren't true, and that disturb the feelings of safety of other babblers. I'm sure you wouldn't want to do that, so I wanted to remind you that he isn't doing any research here.

I'm repeated this in the interests of keeping things clear, because some people have said they're confused about what did and didn't happen.

Honore

 

Re: Accomplished the Goal » planetzero

Posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 11:21:50

In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal » Phillipa, posted by planetzero on August 15, 2007, at 8:56:25

Well if the therapist needs a signed release form for Bob how did this worry even occurr as that would mean if I had but didn't disclose info that it couldnt be given out to others hence how could the other parties job, life etc be impacted? As for babble not being used for education no I didn't know as I don't go to admin unless I have to as I never go to politics, grief, eating, newbies, was invited to psychology by another poster but thought it was about things like CBT. Took me a while to figure out what people posted about. I can see why so many are sensitive. Again there is nothing I can do but apologize for any hurts others perceived about personal infor being given out. And no I'm in the process of grieving my life as I am too old to go back to my love nursing. Unfortunatately I have autoimmune diseases which have created other problems in my body. Nothing I can do about them in herited. And then the chronic lymes still test positive always will I think as one doc said that. Oh well. My life is about over anyway so I best keep trying. Phillipa

 

Re: Accomplished the Goal » Phillipa

Posted by ClearSkies on August 15, 2007, at 11:35:06

In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal » planetzero, posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 11:21:50

> Well if the therapist needs a signed release form for Bob how did this worry even occurr as that would mean if I had but didn't disclose info that it couldnt be given out to others hence how could the other parties job, life etc be impacted?

Sorry to jump, in, but thought I might help to clarify:
By NOT having a signed consent (also known as a "release"), you are disclosing information without having the other person's permission - and this is what is unethical.

You would not have been able to get a signed consent from Dr Bob, since he is not maintaining the site for research purposes. By disclosing information about other people without their consent, written, spoken or otherwise; a breach of trust is implied. Also, a trust formed by friendship on the internet has been broken. This, to my understanding, is the crux of the problem. That
1) you did not ask for permission to pass on information about another poster to your therapist, and
2) that you posted about divulging that information here on the boards.

I hope that this is clear and (gulp!) also that I am correct.

ClearSkies

 

Re: Accomplished the Goal » ClearSkies

Posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 11:49:41

In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal » Phillipa, posted by ClearSkies on August 15, 2007, at 11:35:06

Clear Skies but I didn't discuss anyone with my therapist can't afford this and why? And I thought babble was for research??? I just get more confused taking a break out for the day. Love Phillipa

 

Re: What can I do? » Phillipa

Posted by planetzero on August 15, 2007, at 11:56:05

In reply to Re: What can I do?, posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2007, at 0:12:53

> Ps I don't have a therapist. Phillipa never did

OK - one example -

here you say you don't have a therapist - but then again, you say you do -

which is it - yes or no?

 

Re: Accomplished the Goal » Phillipa

Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 15, 2007, at 12:07:07

In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 10:14:39

Phillipa,

If you are confused, I recommend you look in the archives of the thread in which you posted. Read exactly what you posted, and then read everything that you've posted since then.

That's what you always suggest that I should do- look something up in the archives. Well, if you can't remember something, why not go back to your original words?

I know it's important to you that people trust you, but until these contradictions are resolved, it's hard to move forward.

-Ll

 

A different take

Posted by Glydin on August 15, 2007, at 14:12:00

In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal » Phillipa, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 15, 2007, at 12:07:07

While the lastest dustup certainly brings up some uneasy feelings for me, I am finding myself feeling upset over a repeated guideline crossing of "knowingly posting false information".

If one posts polar opposite information, is it not rational to think AT LEAST ONE has to be false?... And knowingly posted as being false? This is turning into a question of accountiblity and consequences for me... and a question, yet again, of Adm. actions to the governing of the guidelines and why are some posters not held accountable while others are...

 

Re: Accomplished the Goal

Posted by Honore on August 15, 2007, at 14:53:28

In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 10:14:39

> No I did not disclose any info. At the time I forgot gg wasn't acting as a deputy anymore and thought I must do what she asked. Hence the post. Again I'm sorry for any fear you may have and don't know what else I can do. Any suggestions? Phillipa

But Gg didn't tell you what to say, and I would hope you wouldn't say anything untrue in responding to a request by a deputy (or someone you thought to be a deputy) to answer a pbc.

Honore

 

Re: A different take » Glydin

Posted by Dinah on August 15, 2007, at 15:16:45

In reply to A different take, posted by Glydin on August 15, 2007, at 14:12:00

To my knowledge, statements that contradict one another have not been made *since* the PBC for posting false statements. Dr. Bob did not specify which statement was false.

In other words, if I said I was married, then said I wasn't married, then got a pbc for posting something I knew was untrue because I can't be both married and unmarried, and afterwards posted only that I wasn't married, there is no way for Admin to know if that statement is true or untrue. Yes, it contradicts an earlier statement, but one of the two that was made *before* the PBC.

Any information about truth or untruth of statements after that PBC should be sent using the Notify the Administrators function, and not posted on board, as per new site guidelines.

 

Please use the Notify Administrators Function

Posted by Deputy Dinah on August 15, 2007, at 15:23:49

In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by mike lynch on August 15, 2007, at 1:03:03

If you believe a post is not in compliance with civility guidelines, please use the Notify the Administrators function as per new board guidelines, since bringing it up on board may lead other posters to feel accused or put down.

Dr. Bob has advised that this function has now been around long enough that not using it and instead posting on the board will be considered a violation of the civility guidelines.

Before posting on this topic, or any similar topics, it might be wise to read the FAQ.

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil

*If you believe a post is uncivil, please use the Notify the Administrators Function. Do not post your belief on board.*

Also, Dr. Bob requires that all posts be civil according to site guidelines. So please do not post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.

Dinah, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob

 

Re: A different take » Dinah

Posted by Glydin on August 15, 2007, at 15:41:03

In reply to Re: A different take » Glydin, posted by Dinah on August 15, 2007, at 15:16:45

> To my knowledge, statements that contradict one another have not been made *since* the PBC for posting false statements. Dr. Bob did not specify which statement was false.
>

~~~ In my preception, it has.


> Any information about truth or untruth of statements after that PBC should be sent using the Notify the Administrators function, and not posted on board, as per new site guidelines.

~~~ Done previously before I posted anything on the board. I also posted here due to a general Adm. concern I had.


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