![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 118. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by gardenergirl on May 8, 2007, at 19:35:40
Dr. Bob,
You've never asked the deputies to "hold down the fort" indefinitely. You've not provided the deputies with adequate tools and resources to do so. You've made no formal (or otherwise) changes in policy to increase deputy authority to make up for the void you've left. You have done little to make up for the giant deficit of support for the deputies while continuing to rack up a greater "support debt".
With the seemingly precious, minuscule amount of time you have found to devote to Babble recently, you use that time to talk about surveys, address a name change, and answer one specific question about a block (not that those issues are not also worthy of attention). But have you noticed anything else going on here recently? Read any emails? This is how you prioritize your time?
How absolutely shameful and self-centered.
(Belated note to self: Duh! Why in the world would someone with this personality type give a rat's *ss? Rolls eyes and shakes head at the rampant idealism.)
It's true this is finger-pointing and accusing. There is no hedging or compassion for whatever internal state is driving the narcissism. There are, with intention, no "I" statements in this post, because it's all about you and your behavior, Dr. Bob. This behavior speaks volumes about what and who you value.
In case you're unaware of the tone of the message your behavior is sending, here's a hint: It's not flattering.
gg
Posted by tofuemmy on May 8, 2007, at 19:42:44
In reply to Surveys, and names, and I statements, Oh my!, posted by gardenergirl on May 8, 2007, at 19:35:40
GG - You forgot! He also found time to post his new photo. ;-)
em
Posted by karen_kay on May 8, 2007, at 19:47:50
In reply to Surveys, and names, and I statements, Oh my!, posted by gardenergirl on May 8, 2007, at 19:35:40
:) (that's for your post. i did like it)
i am rather fond of mister bob you know. i may feel the need to defend his honor.
but, perhaps it's just his way of easing back in?
take care of yourself gg. and please don't think i'm being smarmy dear. maybe after a long break, it's just rather difficult to just pop back in giving out blocks and taking on such serious issues all at once? (i know i wouldn't want to)
Posted by Quintal on May 8, 2007, at 21:06:12
In reply to Surveys, and names, and I statements, Oh my!, posted by gardenergirl on May 8, 2007, at 19:35:40
Posted by scratchpad on May 8, 2007, at 21:33:56
In reply to Surveys, and names, and I statements, Oh my!, posted by gardenergirl on May 8, 2007, at 19:35:40
As per usual, I had my 2 cents to add to GG's superlative job on this post:
> Dr. Bob,
>
> You've never asked the deputies to "hold down the fort" indefinitely.
You just leave indefinitely without notice.> You've not provided the deputies with adequate tools and resources to do so. You've made no formal (or otherwise) changes in policy to increase deputy authority to make up for the void you've left.
Hello! Crises on chat! ISP provider information!
> You have done little to make up for the giant deficit of support for the deputies while continuing to rack up a greater "support debt".
>Is there a repayment plan in place to spread the load amongst the staff of deputies? Hmmm.... thought not.
> With the seemingly precious, minuscule amount of time you have found to devote to Babble recently, you use that time to talk about surveys, address a name change, and answer one specific question about a block (not that those issues are not also worthy of attention). But have you noticed anything else going on here recently? Read any emails? This is how you prioritize your time?
>Would you care for some input as to what issues require highest priority? Because I am good at filing, you know, a soul of a secretary I always say, and can quickly sort out your What's Hot and What Not piles. Unrelated to your personal preference, you understand.
> How absolutely shameful and self-centered.I'm afraid so.
>
> (Belated note to self: Duh! Why in the world would someone with this personality type give a rat's *ss? Rolls eyes and shakes head at the rampant idealism.)I fervently join you in the rolling of mine own eyes and shaking of head.
>
> It's true this is finger-pointing and accusing. There is no hedging or compassion for whatever internal state is driving the narcissism. There are, with intention, no "I" statements in this post, because it's all about you and your behavior, Dr. Bob. This behavior speaks volumes about what and who you value....AND, IT"S ABOUT TIME SOMEBODY SPOKE ALOUD ABOUT IT. Thank you so very much, GG.
>
> In case you're unaware of the tone of the message your behavior is sending, here's a hint: It's not flattering.
>
> gg
>
>
Posted by wishingstar on May 8, 2007, at 21:57:21
In reply to Surveys, and names, and I statements, Oh my!, posted by gardenergirl on May 8, 2007, at 19:35:40
Posted by fayeroe on May 8, 2007, at 21:57:26
In reply to Surveys, and names, and I statements, Oh my!, posted by gardenergirl on May 8, 2007, at 19:35:40
> Dr. Bob,
>
> You've never asked the deputies to "hold down the fort" indefinitely. You've not provided the deputies with adequate tools and resources to do so. You've made no formal (or otherwise) changes in policy to increase deputy authority to make up for the void you've left. You have done little to make up for the giant deficit of support for the deputies while continuing to rack up a greater "support debt".
>
> With the seemingly precious, minuscule amount of time you have found to devote to Babble recently, you use that time to talk about surveys, address a name change, and answer one specific question about a block (not that those issues are not also worthy of attention). But have you noticed anything else going on here recently? Read any emails? This is how you prioritize your time?
>
> How absolutely shameful and self-centered.
>
> (Belated note to self: Duh! Why in the world would someone with this personality type give a rat's *ss? Rolls eyes and shakes head at the rampant idealism.)
>
> It's true this is finger-pointing and accusing. There is no hedging or compassion for whatever internal state is driving the narcissism. There are, with intention, no "I" statements in this post, because it's all about you and your behavior, Dr. Bob. This behavior speaks volumes about what and who you value.
>
> In case you're unaware of the tone of the message your behavior is sending, here's a hint: It's not flattering.
>
> gg
>
BRAVO!!!!! xoxoxo pat
>
Posted by Happyflower on May 8, 2007, at 23:00:18
In reply to Surveys, and names, and I statements, Oh my!, posted by gardenergirl on May 8, 2007, at 19:35:40
I am sure he is doing the best he can. This isn't his real job, so maybe things in his real life needs him more than here. Babble seems to be working fine on its own. Not much has changed.
Posted by Deneb on May 8, 2007, at 23:06:10
In reply to Surveys, and names, and I statements, Oh my!, posted by gardenergirl on May 8, 2007, at 19:35:40
Hey Bob,
I love you just the way you are. ((((hugs))))
Deneb*
Posted by gardenergirl on May 9, 2007, at 8:25:22
In reply to Re: Surveys, and names, and I statements, Oh my!, posted by tofuemmy on May 8, 2007, at 19:42:44
> GG - You forgot! He also found time to post his new photo. ;-)
>
> emAh yes. What does that say? ;)
Good to see you.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on May 9, 2007, at 8:41:00
In reply to uh oh! » gardenergirl, posted by karen_kay on May 8, 2007, at 19:47:50
> :) (that's for your post. i did like it)
Thanks. :)
>
> i am rather fond of mister bob you know. i may feel the need to defend his honor.I know, and it's good that he has someone to step up for him.
>
> but, perhaps it's just his way of easing back in?That may be true. Still, it says something about either his priorities or his ability to manage priorities.
>
> take care of yourself gg. and please don't think i'm being smarmy dear.Nope, I don't think you're being smarmy. In fact, I've been impressed with the wisdom I see shining through your posts since you've been back (not that you haven't always been wise, of course...) ;)
> maybe after a long break, it's just rather difficult to just pop back in giving out blocks and taking on such serious issues all at once? (i know i wouldn't want to)
I'm sure it is. But there's more to it, you see. We've had no communication from him. We have no future formal communication scheduled. We have communication structures in place that should be useful for him in focusing in on what's going on with the boards, should he wish to use them. He could take two minutes to email us saying, "Hi. Thanks. I'm hoping to be _____ by ______." Easing back into the boards, if that's indeed what he's doing, is one thing. Communicating with and gasp! dare I say *working with* the folks who volunteer to help out is another. And right now, it sure as heck feels and I'm sure looks as if he's just using the deputies as tools for his own needs. Pretty dehumanizing, not to mention just plain bad behavior if you ask me.
I'm sure he's got some sort of reason for it. I'm sure should I choose to, I could find compassion for him about it. But I'm not choosing to just now. And frankly, it can be awfully hard to be on target with empathy for narcissism, and I just don't feel like working that hard.
Probably way more than you asked, but there it is.
Love ya, KK. :)
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on May 9, 2007, at 8:42:53
In reply to Well said dear :-) (nm) » gardenergirl, posted by Quintal on May 8, 2007, at 21:06:12
Thanks. I'm reminded of something you said in a babblemail awhile back (regarding expression) that I disagreed with. I'm not so inclined to disagree now, apparently. Freedom feels pretty darned good, actually. :)
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on May 9, 2007, at 8:52:56
In reply to Re: Surveys, and names, and I statements, Oh my! » gardenergirl, posted by scratchpad on May 8, 2007, at 21:33:56
> As per usual, I had my 2 cents to add to GG's superlative job on this post:
Thanks.
>
> > Dr. Bob,
> >
> > You've never asked the deputies to "hold down the fort" indefinitely.
>
>
> You just leave indefinitely without notice.Yep. Though for awhile it reminded me of how my husband described government work: "Two weeks. Two weeks. Two weeks." Always two weeks more. Never ending.
>
> > You've not provided the deputies with adequate tools and resources to do so. ...
>
> Hello! Crises on chat! ISP provider information!Or even, gee how 'bout I handle these few specific things that currently you don't have the resources to do. And y'all work on what you do have resources to handle. Just email me with these specific requests. That certainly couldn't take that much time, could it? Of course, that would require trust in the deputies ability to decide what they need help with and what they can handle on their own. Shyeah.
>
> > You have done little to make up for the giant deficit of support for the deputies while continuing to rack up a greater "support debt".
> >
>
> Is there a repayment plan in place to spread the load amongst the staff of deputies? Hmmm.... thought not.lol
>
> > ... This is how you prioritize your time?
> >
>
> Would you care for some input as to what issues require highest priority? Because I am good at filing, you know, a soul of a secretary I always say, and can quickly sort out your What's Hot and What Not piles. Unrelated to your personal preference, you understand.You are good at that, and you know what? That would be so helpful, don't you think? Wouldn't it be nice for someone to have a "punch list", so to speak, prepared for them if they've got way too much to sift through? Of course, that would require placing trust in the preparer and giving up some degree of "control". Can't have that!!
>
>
> > How absolutely shameful and self-centered.
>
> I'm afraid so.
>
> >
> > (Belated note to self: Duh! Why in the world would someone with this personality type give a rat's *ss? Rolls eyes and shakes head at the rampant idealism.)
>
> I fervently join you in the rolling of mine own eyes and shaking of head.Thanks. Hope it doesn't exacerbate the headache. :(
>
> >
> > It's true this is finger-pointing and accusing. There is no hedging or compassion for whatever internal state is driving the narcissism. There are, with intention, no "I" statements in this post, because it's all about you and your behavior, Dr. Bob. This behavior speaks volumes about what and who you value.
>
> ...AND, IT"S ABOUT TIME SOMEBODY SPOKE ALOUD ABOUT IT. Thank you so very much, GG.You're welcome. Next show at 11:00. Please be sure to tip your servers. ;)
Thanks for your support, sp. It means a great deal.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on May 9, 2007, at 8:54:01
In reply to 100% agreed. thank you gg. (nm), posted by wishingstar on May 8, 2007, at 21:57:21
Posted by gardenergirl on May 9, 2007, at 8:55:11
In reply to Re: Surveys, and names, and I statements, Oh my!, posted by fayeroe on May 8, 2007, at 21:57:26
I hope the weather has let up. It sounds like it's been very scary for those in the path of the storms.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on May 9, 2007, at 9:04:08
In reply to Re: Surveys, and names, and I statements, Oh my!, posted by Happyflower on May 8, 2007, at 23:00:18
> I am sure he is doing the best he can. This isn't his real job, so maybe things in his real life needs him more than here.
I have no doubt he's got other more pressing issues, and I can certainly relate to that. I also have no doubt he's doing the best he can, though it's not enough. And I have no doubt that he is and has been taking advantage of the deputies, which is bad behavior and frankly, feels like sh*t.
> Babble seems to be working fine on its own. Not much has changed.
It would depend on how you define "working fine." Dinah and Racer are working their *sses off to keep things going and to try to keep things unchanged. This takes a toll. I don't know if I could adequately explain the costs, but they are real, and they are additive, and they are pretty much unacknowledged.
I can't tell you how much that sucks, though I've been trying.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on May 9, 2007, at 9:05:52
In reply to Re: Surveys, and names, and I statements, Oh my!, posted by Deneb on May 8, 2007, at 23:06:10
Having someone's love is a gift. It's touching you are generous with your love, Deneb. You're very sweet.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on May 9, 2007, at 9:08:27
In reply to Re: Surveys, and names, and I statements, Oh my! » Deneb, posted by gardenergirl on May 9, 2007, at 9:05:52
Posted by one woman cine on May 9, 2007, at 9:57:38
In reply to Surveys, and names, and I statements, Oh my!, posted by gardenergirl on May 8, 2007, at 19:35:40
In my recent experience with Babble, more value has been placed on google-ability & keyword searches within posts -
with little value placed on me or my safety IRL.
It's really sad -
Posted by Happyflower on May 9, 2007, at 12:24:39
In reply to Re: Surveys, and names, and I statements, Oh my! » Happyflower, posted by gardenergirl on May 9, 2007, at 9:04:08
Gardengirl,
If you really want to help with the load of the deputies, why not come off leave? If they are suffering that bad, I would do it if I could.
I realize you are frusterated with Dr. Bob, but saying he has a personlity disorder probably won't help much. Actually if I felt that strongly about Dr. Bob, I wouldn't want to be a deputy for him. So maybe you are better off staying on leave even if Dinah, and Racer need you.
As far as what I am frusterated with about the boards, I was told by a deputy that we are not longer allowed to post about it, that it had to be done directly with Dr. Bob.
I believe we need less admin anyways the way rules are enforced. We either need more supervision, but everyone being treated fairly no matter who they are, or we need less admin. actions. IMHO
Posted by scratchpad on May 9, 2007, at 12:40:37
In reply to Damn, Dinah. This freedom's addictive! :^) (nm) » gardenergirl, posted by gardenergirl on May 9, 2007, at 9:08:27
GG, are you still on unpaid deputy leave?
sp
Posted by Phillipa on May 9, 2007, at 12:49:45
In reply to Re: Damn, Dinah. This freedom's addictive! :^) » gardenergirl, posted by scratchpad on May 9, 2007, at 12:40:37
Sorry I promised but I knew something was going on and I will help in any way I can. I don't know how to redirect and haven't seen one in ages. Has anyone else. I could have missed them? Good for you gg to speak your peace. Love Phillipa
Posted by NikkiT2 on May 9, 2007, at 12:54:00
In reply to Re: Damn, Dinah. This freedom's addictive! :^) » gardenergirl, posted by scratchpad on May 9, 2007, at 12:40:37
I think we all understand that Bob sometimes needs time away.. has more pressing issues, or simply needs a break.
BUT, he has to communicate this - atleast to his deputies.
Even I am feeling annoyed at his lack of action around here. Its simply not professional behaviour at the very least, and I find it ethically dangerous.
Nikki
Posted by Deneb on May 9, 2007, at 13:11:08
In reply to Re: Surveys, and names, and I statements, Oh my! » Deneb, posted by gardenergirl on May 9, 2007, at 9:05:52
Posted by gardenergirl on May 9, 2007, at 13:16:22
In reply to Re: Surveys, and names, and I statements, Oh my! » gardenergirl, posted by Happyflower on May 9, 2007, at 12:24:39
> If you really want to help with the load of the deputies, why not come off leave?I haven't been writing about "helping with the load" of the deputies. I've been writing about shabby treatment. It's this treatment that has contributed to the load. Me coming off leave, even if it were the right thing to do for me at this point in time, would do nothing to change that condition.
> I realize you are frustrated with Dr. Bob, but saying he has a personlity disorder probably won't help much.
Thanks for that tip. I'll be sure to continue to avoid doing that.
gg
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