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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 49 to 73 of 77. Go back in thread:
Posted by (((((zazenduckie)))) on December 1, 2006, at 18:28:20
In reply to What do you want zazenduckie? » zazenduckie, posted by madeline on December 1, 2006, at 18:25:02
Posted by ((((zazenduckie)))) on December 1, 2006, at 18:49:41
In reply to World Peace ;) You? (nm) » madeline, posted by (((((zazenduckie)))) on December 1, 2006, at 18:28:20
I would like to know
1 if it is okay for anyone to say he feels manipulated at any time or if Dr Bob is saying that only for that poster in that situation.
2 if it is okay to say I feel attacked?
3 if it is okay to say I feel emotionally blackmailed?
4 if it is okay to say I feel scapegoated?
I thought I feel words should not imply someone else has done something. Doesn't I feel manipulated imply something negative about another? That someone else is a manipulator? ( I would feel extremely upset if someone said that to me!)
But if that is okay are all the other examples I gave also okay?
This is an administrative question and I would just like to know how the rules would apply in those instances.
Thank you.
Posted by Dinah on December 1, 2006, at 19:00:59
In reply to I feel moderately upset » clearskies, posted by zazenduckie on December 1, 2006, at 16:56:41
Well, I said I wasn't offended.
I also said I was crying.
I'm not sure you can get not upset from that.
But I give up.
Posted by Dinah on December 1, 2006, at 19:01:51
In reply to Re: I feel moderately upset » zazenduckie, posted by Dinah on December 1, 2006, at 19:00:59
Sorry. I meant to say that I don't think I would say that I was not upset when I was in fact crying.
Posted by Dinah on December 1, 2006, at 19:02:54
In reply to Re: I feel moderately upset, posted by Dinah on December 1, 2006, at 19:01:51
That was just a syntax correction to correct something that upon re-reading might be misinterpreted to mean something other than what I intended.
Posted by madeline on December 1, 2006, at 19:02:57
In reply to World Peace ;) You? (nm) » madeline, posted by (((((zazenduckie)))) on December 1, 2006, at 18:28:20
People to be honest.
Posted by (((((zazenduckie)))) on December 1, 2006, at 19:40:54
In reply to Re: World Peace ;) You?, posted by madeline on December 1, 2006, at 19:02:57
Posted by muffled on December 1, 2006, at 20:01:30
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » muffled, posted by Dr. Bob on December 1, 2006, at 15:49:21
Whats a troll?
I have heard that term used before but I have never acyually known what it meant?
Thanks,
Muffled
Posted by (((zazenduckie))) on December 1, 2006, at 20:11:17
In reply to Question, posted by muffled on December 1, 2006, at 20:01:30
I think Deneb posted some very moving posts about her painful experience being called that name on another board. Dr Bob subsequently declared it an uncivil word. You might try a search in the archives.
I think was originally used as a reference to trolling in fishing as in posting something in search of replies. But that's what we all do really isn't it?
I think it is a shame the word has come to have negative connotations on the internet I always think of those little troll dolls with the wild hair @@@@@:o)
I feel very upset after realizing the proximity of your question about trolls to my posts. But my feelings are my problem to deal with and I have my babble shields up so I guess I'll be okay.
Posted by muffled on December 1, 2006, at 20:24:02
In reply to Re: Question » muffled, posted by (((zazenduckie))) on December 1, 2006, at 20:11:17
> I think Deneb posted some very moving posts about her painful experience being called that name on another board. Dr Bob subsequently declared it an uncivil word. You might try a search in the archives.
**Yeah, i remember now. I KNEW i'd heard it somewhere.
>
> I think was originally used as a reference to trolling in fishing as in posting something in search of replies. But that's what we all do really isn't it?***It IS what we do. So I STILL don't understand why people get upset by it?
>
> I think it is a shame the word has come to have negative connotations on the internet I always think of those little troll dolls with the wild hair @@@@@:o)**Trolls are back! I saw them at wallmart.
>
> I feel very upset after realizing the proximity of your question about trolls to my posts. But my feelings are my problem to deal with and I have my babble shields up so I guess I'll be okay.**Yeah, sorry, I been having a rough day, and I was reading thru this thread , and owndering WHY I was feeling \agitated, and that word popped in my head cuz I KNEW I'd heard it. Sorry, I should've posted it separately.
Sorry, no offense intended.
Feelings.
I hate feelings.
I hate feeling.
I hate me.
Muffled
Posted by (((zazenduckie))) on December 1, 2006, at 20:27:09
In reply to Re: Question » (((zazenduckie))), posted by muffled on December 1, 2006, at 20:24:02
Posted by henrietta on December 1, 2006, at 20:33:44
In reply to I think most people are honest , you don't? (nm) » madeline, posted by (((((zazenduckie)))) on December 1, 2006, at 19:40:54
I offer support. I think you're an amazing voice. I value your voice. You speak for many who for whatever reason can't. You are not alone.
Thank you. I honor and admire your courage. (not to mention your wit!!!)
henzen
Posted by henrietta on December 1, 2006, at 20:42:10
In reply to ZZD: Can't offer education, but, posted by henrietta on December 1, 2006, at 20:33:44
Posted by gardenergirl on December 1, 2006, at 22:19:09
In reply to I feel moderately upset » clearskies, posted by zazenduckie on December 1, 2006, at 16:56:41
> > Wow, if someone said this to me I would be really upset!
>>
> I DIDN'T say it to you.Hence her use of the word *if*. Clearskies is quite an empathetic gal.
gg
Posted by SLS on December 2, 2006, at 7:04:32
In reply to Re: I feel moderately upset » zazenduckie, posted by Dinah on December 1, 2006, at 19:00:59
> Well, I said I wasn't offended.
>
> I also said I was crying.
>
> I'm not sure you can get not upset from that.
>
> But I give up.
I am disappointed to hear that you should need to give up. I am not disappointed in you. I am just disappointed that you should feel frustrated and perhaps hurt by your interaction here.Is there another way that you could approach this situation that would not leave you exasperated? I just worry that it may not be good for your mental health to act in a quasi-deputy role. Perhaps you can choose to discontinue your interaction at a point sooner in time that is healthier for you.
You don't have to fix everything, Dinah.
I apologize if I have overstepped a boundary or two. It's hard not to care about a person like you. Of course, I could be very off-target with my comments.
- Scott
Posted by Dinah on December 2, 2006, at 8:50:43
In reply to Re: I feel moderately upset » Dinah, posted by SLS on December 2, 2006, at 7:04:32
Thanks Scott. It's not really my deputorial role that was frustrating me.
I don't need everyone to like me. I'm quite reconciled to the fact that any number of people in all areas of my life don't care for me much at all.
But sometimes I get stuck in trying to convince someone I'm not really so bad. To stay open and accepting and vulnerable. And with my therapist's help I've decided to do my darndest to give up. :) It just takes a while for feelings to catch up with resolve.
Posted by zazenduckie on December 2, 2006, at 11:13:13
In reply to ZZD: Can't offer education, but, posted by henrietta on December 1, 2006, at 20:33:44
I do get so much support from you. Although I'm always a little embarassed for you to see I'm still hanging around here!
I always think of you as the wise woman of babble and I admire you too and like you and hope you are ok and staying warm with all the winter storms blowing.
(((( henzen))))
I'm on your side too even when I'm not around.
Thanks again
Posted by (((zazenduckie))) on December 2, 2006, at 11:27:35
In reply to Re: I feel moderately upset » zazenduckie, posted by gardenergirl on December 1, 2006, at 22:19:09
> > > Wow, if someone said this to me I would be really upset!
> >
>
> >
> > I DIDN'T say it to you.
>
> Hence her use of the word *if*Yes that's also what I thought! Thanks for offering your thoughts too. It's always nice to find my opinions shared by others!
.
>Clearskies is quite an empathetic gal.
>
Indeed she is quite empathetic. Lovely quality that-and whimsical too with the little babble
shields-lovely lady-an ornament to the board!WB?
Posted by muffled on December 3, 2006, at 22:01:47
In reply to Re: please rephrase that, posted by Dr. Bob on December 1, 2006, at 16:18:45
> > Are any of those OK? Is there one thats better than others? If so, why?
>
> Thanks for working on this. How about just "I feel manipulated" instead of "I feel like I am being manipulated"? I think that might be a better I-statement because it focuses more on you.
>
**OK.
I reckon that makes sense?
If I say 'I feel manipulated' I am owning the fact that this is a feeling I have personally.Its all about me.
When I add the 'being', then that puts it more outwards toward someone else, cuz I am saying it( the feeling of being manipulated) is comming from an external source.
I think?
SEEMS logical.
Thank you.
I find this very complicated...
But then I find people very complicated,
Hell I find all of life complicated.
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by zazenduckie on December 5, 2006, at 10:18:33
In reply to Re: Ohhh puhlease » zazenduckie, posted by karen_kay on December 1, 2006, at 11:11:08
I didn't mean to imply that you had. I was trying to apologize to you.
> i certainly don't want to add to any feelings of being treated like garbage (i can't think of a better way to word it, sorry). i'm honestly sorry if i have.
Posted by karen_kay on December 5, 2006, at 17:05:13
In reply to I'm sorry there was no need to apologize » karen_kay, posted by zazenduckie on December 5, 2006, at 10:18:33
lookit, i'm having some communication problems today. and it's hard for me to tell if you're being sarcastic or what (granted, i8t probably has to do with my mood and i'm not accusing you of a thing my dear. and, i have been known to presume things on ocassion.) i spend roughly 2 hours a day arguing with kids (and i take it the old 'because i say so' won't work here.) and haven't the energy to even argue with my husband when he gets home (and trust me, i'm saving it for when i get to feeling better.) so, i'll just sit this conversation out, ok?
Posted by zazenduckie on December 5, 2006, at 17:40:49
In reply to Re: I'm sorry there was no need to apologize » zazenduckie, posted by karen_kay on December 5, 2006, at 17:05:13
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20061018/msgs/704202.html
No I'm not being sarcastic.
I was apologizing for posting the above please be sensitive to you.
I would choose a different and more direct way to support FDB next time rather than posting to you.
You never made me feel like garbage. The word brought back memories but that certainly wasn't your fault.
I'm sorry you don't have the energy to argue with your husband. Maybe you could throw something at him. (Something small and soft enough not to hurt him which would be against the rules to suggest.)
Sorry you're having a rough day.
No need to reply.
> lookit, i'm having some communication problems today. and it's hard for me to tell if you're being sarcastic or what (granted, i8t probably has to do with my mood and i'm not accusing you of a thing my dear. and, i have been known to presume things on ocassion.) i spend roughly 2 hours a day arguing with kids (and i take it the old 'because i say so' won't work here.) and haven't the energy to even argue with my husband when he gets home (and trust me, i'm saving it for when i get to feeling better.) so, i'll just sit this conversation out, ok?
>
Posted by muffled on December 5, 2006, at 18:09:59
In reply to No I was serious » karen_kay, posted by zazenduckie on December 5, 2006, at 17:40:49
Posted by zazenduckie on December 5, 2006, at 18:17:09
In reply to who is FDB? (nm), posted by muffled on December 5, 2006, at 18:09:59
Posted by muffled on December 5, 2006, at 18:32:44
In reply to the poster whose 128 posts were deleted (nm) » muffled, posted by zazenduckie on December 5, 2006, at 18:17:09
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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