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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by zazenducky on November 1, 2006, at 8:05:33
In reply to Re: please be civil » Deneb » ElaineM » Racer » zazenducky, posted by Dr. Bob on November 1, 2006, at 7:55:41
I was not being sarcastic. I think it's good advice. It was a general statement not an accusation or a put down. Why would you choose to read something negative into it? Please explain.
Thanks for choosing to support Deneb. Would you prefer that people stick to that rather than offering advice on your site?
Thanks>
> > When people choose to be unkind or unhelpful or seemingly to judge you or reject you, sometimes it helps to remember that it's probably because of their own problems not because of you.
> >
> > zazenducky
>
> Please don't be sarcastic or post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
>
> But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're bad people.
>
> If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please first see the FAQ:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforce
>
> Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
>
> Deneb, I'm sorry if you feel left out.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Bob
Posted by zazenducky on November 1, 2006, at 12:11:09
In reply to Bob what's the problem? » Dr. Bob, posted by zazenducky on November 1, 2006, at 8:05:33
Good job trying to show empathy! I like the new Bob and appreciate your efforts. However please keep in mind when using feeling words that it is not permissible to merely substitute feel for think. In the instance below "left out" is a thought not a feeling. Possible substitutions might be feel lonely or feel isolated.
In addition when using feeling words it is a good idea to be sure that the word does not contain a supposition about cause which might be uncivil. For example "left out" makes necessary an assumption that others are acting to leave someone out.
Would you like to be civility buddies? You could have a go at rephrasing my statement above if you'd like. I'd appreciate it.
Your buddy
zazenducky
> > http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
> > http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforce
> >
> > Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
> >
> > Deneb, I'm sorry if you feel left out.
> >
> > Thanks,
> >
> > Bob
>
>
Posted by sunnydays on November 1, 2006, at 17:30:46
In reply to Please rephrase Dr Bob, posted by zazenducky on November 1, 2006, at 12:11:09
:) zazenducky, I must say, I had that reaction too. How nice of you to offer to be Dr. Bob's civility buddy. :)
sunnydays
Posted by zazenducky on November 6, 2006, at 17:53:30
In reply to Please rephrase Dr Bob, posted by zazenducky on November 1, 2006, at 12:11:09
> > >
> > > you feel left out.
> > >
> > > Thanks,
> > >
> > > Bob
> >
Since you have declined to rephrase I am going to go ahead and block you.
But please don't take this personally, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person.If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please first see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceYou might want to consider asking another poster to be your "civility buddy" and to preview your posts before you submit them.
Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
PS: According to the new system:
previous block: 3 weeks
period of time since previous block: 2 weeks
uncivil toward a particular individual or group: yes
particularly uncivil: no
different type of incivility: no
clearly didn't understand PBC and made effort to reply: no
provoked: no
uncivil in multiple posts at same time: no
already archived: noIf we take 2 weeks, divide by 10, and round down, that's a reduction of 0 weeks. If we apply that to your previous block, that's 3-0 = 3 weeks. And if we triple that, that's 9 weeks. And if we double your block for posting while blocked that's 18 weeks.
Posted by zazenducky on November 6, 2006, at 18:01:01
In reply to Re: Please rephrase Dr Bob » zazenducky, posted by sunnydays on November 1, 2006, at 17:30:46
Posted by zazenducky on November 7, 2006, at 13:51:26
In reply to Bob what's the problem? » Dr. Bob, posted by zazenducky on November 1, 2006, at 8:05:33
> >
> > > When people choose to be unkind or unhelpful or seemingly to judge you or reject you, sometimes it helps to remember that it's probably because of their own problems not because of you.
> > >
REPHRASEWhen I percieve the actions of others as not what I might have hoped for, I have found it useful to attribute their actions to themselves and not to me. I have found it useful to practice being nonjudgmental and look only at their actions and not speculate on their motivations or take on responsibility for someone else's actions.
>
>I am ********** after you ignored my request to be civility partners.
Your friend
zazenducky
Posted by muffled on November 7, 2006, at 15:14:39
In reply to I try to rephrase alone. Feedback requested., posted by zazenducky on November 7, 2006, at 13:51:26
This is the end of the thread.
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