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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 27. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rainbowbrite on August 25, 2005, at 2:19:19
I hope im not being repetitive here...
why don't we have the option to delete what we write? they are our thoughts...
It seems to me that this being a psych board there should be some consideration taken regarding the different 'states' of people posting. If someone posts when very upset, intoxicated or whatever....shouldn't they have the option of removing something (via Dr Bob)if they reveal too much?
yes we take that quiz to begin and yes we accept everything BUT BUT BUT.....this is our lives, if someone reveals too much in a bad state and it could come back and haunt them???
Am I alone with this?
Posted by Empathy on August 25, 2005, at 2:40:03
In reply to And another issue - post deletion, posted by rainbowbrite on August 25, 2005, at 2:19:19
I think that is a MOST EXCELLENT IDEA.
Posted by cubic_me on August 25, 2005, at 5:22:43
In reply to Re: And another issue - post deletion, posted by Empathy on August 25, 2005, at 2:40:03
You are not alone - I would like to have this option too.
Posted by Dinah on August 25, 2005, at 6:39:40
In reply to And another issue - post deletion, posted by rainbowbrite on August 25, 2005, at 2:19:19
I wouldn't mind it if it were through Dr. Bob.
If it were otherwise, it would be a bit crazy making.
(Nice to see you again. If I'm reading your posts correctly are you perhaps suffering from Babblers remorse? If you'd like to Babblemail me about it, feel free.)
Posted by Sonya on August 25, 2005, at 6:50:05
In reply to And another issue - post deletion, posted by rainbowbrite on August 25, 2005, at 2:19:19
Posted by Tamar on August 25, 2005, at 8:43:44
In reply to And another issue - post deletion, posted by rainbowbrite on August 25, 2005, at 2:19:19
> It seems to me that this being a psych board there should be some consideration taken regarding the different 'states' of people posting. If someone posts when very upset, intoxicated or whatever....shouldn't they have the option of removing something (via Dr Bob)if they reveal too much?
> yes we take that quiz to begin and yes we accept everything BUT BUT BUT.....this is our lives, if someone reveals too much in a bad state and it could come back and haunt them???Hmm... I think on balance I'm not in favour of deleting posts. I think if we reveal something that could identify us (like real name, place of work or whatever) then perhaps we can ask that information to be deleted from the post. And I think that has happened from time to time.
But I prefer that whole posts aren't deleted. For me, there's a security in knowing who I'm interacting with (not their identities, but how they tend to conduct themselves or express themselves). And actually, apart from revealing personal information, I don't see that there's much need to retract a post. I've noticed that most people here can read between the lines and realise when someone's in a bad state... and then they can be supportive.
But maybe I'm not thinking of the same kind of situation as you... can you give a hypothetical example of the sort of revelation you'd want deleted? (You don't have to if you don't want to, of course!)
Tamar
Posted by Tamar on August 25, 2005, at 8:43:44
In reply to And another issue - post deletion, posted by rainbowbrite on August 25, 2005, at 2:19:19
This is the third time I have tried to reply to this thread and I can't seem to make it work...
I think it would be a good thing to be able to delete specific information that could identify us. But I prefer it if whole posts are not deleted because then it can seem as if there are big gaps in the discussion.
Tamar
Posted by cubic_me on August 25, 2005, at 11:52:00
In reply to Re: And another issue - post deletion, posted by Tamar on August 25, 2005, at 5:37:39
I know that we preview posts before they are posted, but sometimes I post a post then realise in the next few minutes that I have phrased something wrong or made a series of spelling mistakes. Other boards allow you to modify a post (either indefinately or for half an hour or so after the origional was posted) which I find really useful.
Posted by AuntieMel on August 25, 2005, at 11:59:20
In reply to What about post modification, posted by cubic_me on August 25, 2005, at 11:52:00
What if someone posts something that I find particularly offensive and I react badly? Then that poster revises the post. Wouldn't I look like an idiot for reacting so badly?
And if several other people also react badly? Wouldn't it look like we're all ganging up on that poster for no reason?
Posted by rainbowbrite on August 25, 2005, at 14:05:10
In reply to Re: And another issue - post deletion, posted by Tamar on August 25, 2005, at 5:31:49
>But maybe I'm not thinking of the same kind of situation as you... can you give a hypothetical example of the sort of revelation you'd want deleted? (You don't have to if you don't want to, of course!)
My thinking goes along the lines of someone getting access to you screen name, someone you dont want to have it. Then that person has the ability to read everything about you. SO where I have the problem is with things I dont ever say IRL being up here, things I really dont want people to know. I think at that point your idenity has been revealled and we have a right to protect ourselves by (via Dr Bob) deleting, whether its a post or a word or a thread. I think there should be room for this in the rules.
And then there is the whole issue about revealing personal info....I just want the option :-(
Posted by rainbowbrite on August 25, 2005, at 14:07:11
In reply to Re: And another issue - post deletion » rainbowbrite, posted by Dinah on August 25, 2005, at 6:39:40
yes, something like babblers remorse lol
thanks :-)
Posted by Toph on August 25, 2005, at 16:01:02
In reply to Re: What about post modification, please no, posted by AuntieMel on August 25, 2005, at 11:59:20
Hi mel,
If another person were to post a response, that would render the original post unmodifyable (if that's a word).
Posted by cubic_me on August 25, 2005, at 16:16:21
In reply to Re: What about post modification, please no » AuntieMel, posted by Toph on August 25, 2005, at 16:01:02
>
> If another person were to post a response, that would render the original post unmodifyable (if that's a word).Yes, that is usually what happens (always a good thing) and if (an unreplied to) post is modified there is a message at the bottom of the post saying 'post modified at 9.25am' or whatever.
This is the only board I go on where I don't feel I have control over what I have written once I have written it, and it's one reason why I have gone to other boards when I am feeling vulnerable.
Posted by chemist on August 25, 2005, at 17:24:07
In reply to And another issue - post deletion, posted by rainbowbrite on August 25, 2005, at 2:19:19
hello there, chemist here...not repetitive: you have been tapped for the job.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050823/msgs/546553.html
in your reply to Dr. Bob in re: board that is not viewable to everyone:
``umm, I guess so. But I will need more than a link...ill need a detailed map to get around I think. could that be arranged? Ill go take a look.''
all the best in your efforts, chemist
> I hope im not being repetitive here...
>
> why don't we have the option to delete what we write? they are our thoughts...
>
> It seems to me that this being a psych board there should be some consideration taken regarding the different 'states' of people posting. If someone posts when very upset, intoxicated or whatever....shouldn't they have the option of removing something (via Dr Bob)if they reveal too much?
> yes we take that quiz to begin and yes we accept everything BUT BUT BUT.....this is our lives, if someone reveals too much in a bad state and it could come back and haunt them???
> Am I alone with this?
Posted by Tamar on August 25, 2005, at 18:40:51
In reply to Re: And another issue - post deletion » Tamar, posted by rainbowbrite on August 25, 2005, at 14:05:10
> My thinking goes along the lines of someone getting access to you screen name, someone you dont want to have it. Then that person has the ability to read everything about you. SO where I have the problem is with things I dont ever say IRL being up here, things I really dont want people to know. I think at that point your idenity has been revealled and we have a right to protect ourselves by (via Dr Bob) deleting, whether its a post or a word or a thread. I think there should be room for this in the rules.
> And then there is the whole issue about revealing personal info....I just want the option :-(I guess if you ONLY say things at Babble that you don't say IRL there's no problem because people can't connect those things with you. Perhaps the problem comes when there's a mix of stuff that people know about you AND stuff you want to keep private.
It's a tough issue, and it bothers me a bit too. I try to reassure myself that (a) I use a false name; (b) it's unlikely that people who know me will come here; and (c) if people who know me did come here they probably wouldn't recognise me unles they were specifically looking for me. I think the only person who might recognise me is my ex-therapist, and I doubt he has time to read here.
I suppose I'm confident enough that my life story isn't so unique as to be recognisable to a casual observer. My best friends would recognise my writing style, but I don't think mere acquaintances would ever guess my identity. Unless you were to post some very identifiable things you're probably anonymous to those who know you IRL.
I dunno... I have felt some anxiety about some of the things I've posted, but I still think that deleting posts isn't the ideal solution. Though as you say, sometimes people could be in a bit of a difficult place and post things they regret later. Perhaps posts could be deleted if people felt their safety was compromised (e.g. if they feared an abusive partner)...
I think the ideal solution would be to have a board that wasn't public so that people could post private things (Babblemail isn't quite the same, as you can't have the same open discussion via Babblemail.) But that's just my view.
And speaking of regrets: apologies for my double post above. I was using a different computer and didn't get the confirmation message so I kept trying! Apparently two of my posts made it through, though I couldn't see them when I refreshed the screen.... And computers are supposed to be our friends!
Posted by alexandra_k on August 25, 2005, at 19:08:33
In reply to And another issue - post deletion, posted by rainbowbrite on August 25, 2005, at 2:19:19
Yeah, I'm ambivalent...
On the one hand I'm glad that Dr Bob is very hesitant to delete posts. There are a lot of threads where people post stuff (about suicide, relationships etc) that they may come to feel a little silly about having posted later.
But having those threads in the archives may be of use to other people (incl. lurkers) who may be feeling the same way. If those kinds of posts were deleted then little sense could be made of the responses to that post as well...
On the other hand identifying information is hard. And what is identifying might change over time. I regret posting some things (because it is identifying) some times. Other times I guess I feel that it is more important for me to get it out.
So it is a hard one...
I don't know.
I guess I think that the optimal way around this issue would be to make small boards non-googleable and only viewable to members.
- It don't think it is the case that people will invariably choose private over publicly viewable. If that was the case then everyone from here would move over to PC (where all posts are non-googleable). Or over to Kali Munroe's site (where all posts are only viewable to members).
- I think that people will continue to post to the main boards especially with respect to requests for information and socialising with a wider audience.
- I think that that would be a terrific outlet for people who are concerned about posting stuff that may be identifying.
But I've said this before...
Posted by alexandra_k on August 25, 2005, at 20:12:09
In reply to Re: And another issue - post deletion » rainbowbrite, posted by alexandra_k on August 25, 2005, at 19:08:33
I'm extremely ambivalent...
Sometimes I really don't care and I just post as I feel the urge (and I wish to god I didn't have such a problem with impulse control)
:-(
Small boards being non-googleable and non-viewable to members would give me a place (that is not perfectly safe - but comparatively safer) where I can get it out...
I really do beat myself up severely sometimes for the things I post...
But then I just keep doing it
:-(
Probably because I figure that the harm...
Has already been done.I'm not sure that I am making things worse with that respect than they already are.
I don't know.
Its a hard one.
Babble helps me so much
But I am concerned about the day where all that might come back to severely bite me on the *ss
Posted by rainbowbrite on August 25, 2005, at 20:51:34
In reply to Re: And another issue - post deletion » rainbowbrite, posted by Tamar on August 25, 2005, at 18:40:51
>I think the ideal solution would be to have a board that wasn't public so that people could post private things (Babblemail isn't quite the same, as you can't have the same open discussion via Babblemail.) But that's just my view.
exactly, I really think its needed.
>I guess if you ONLY say things at Babble that you don't say IRL there's no problem because people can't connect those things with you. Perhaps the problem comes when there's a mix of stuff that people know about you AND stuff you want to keep private.
This is the problem. If a person knows your screen name then they know EVERYTHING. I am just suggesting there be exceptions to the rule.
I dont know...I know what you mean about lives be similar etc its just when your name is known....:-( and then its too late to change.
Posted by Phillipa on August 25, 2005, at 21:58:22
In reply to Re: And another issue - post deletion » Tamar, posted by rainbowbrite on August 25, 2005, at 20:51:34
Rainbowbrite you are reading my mind. For a few days now I have definitely regreted posting my E-mail publicly. If I E-mail Dr. Bob do you think he'll delete it? I would if I could. I usually use Babblemail to do this . I made a mistake but to err is human. I don't want to be stalked! Just like pictures. Privately okay but not on the Boards! And some have now used my real first name but that's okay since my last names not included. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by rainbowbrite on August 25, 2005, at 22:05:18
In reply to Re: And another issue - post deletion » rainbowbrite, posted by Phillipa on August 25, 2005, at 21:58:22
Hi Phillipa!
Im sure he will delete it, send him a babble mail or maybe he will read this and ask him to XXX it. I bet he will.
Rain
Posted by Tamar on August 26, 2005, at 4:10:07
In reply to Re: And another issue - post deletion » Tamar, posted by rainbowbrite on August 25, 2005, at 20:51:34
> This is the problem. If a person knows your screen name then they know EVERYTHING. I am just suggesting there be exceptions to the rule.
> I dont know...> I know what you mean about lives be similar etc its just when your name is known....:-( and then its too late to change.
I suppose the question that comes to my mind is: how would someone know your screen name? Unless you tell them… or if you tell one person and then they tell someone else… Or if you post from a public computer and they access the site after you, perhaps there might be a way of finding out.
I was thinking… one way to keep your identity hidden is perhaps to post occasional misdirections, like for example saying you live in a city that you don’t actually live in, or referring to partners or friends by name, but not their real names. (I’ve got a devious mind, eh?) But that involves constructing aspects of a different identity and it can be hard to sustain! And it would be all for nothing if you ever actually tell someone your screen name.
I dunno… I guess it’s theoretically possible to undo things you’ve said on Babble by deleting posts. But it’s not possible to undo things you might have said IRL, like if you’ve ever told someone your screen name. And maybe that’s the significant issue.
It sounds to me as if you’re feeling quite unsafe and anxious, and I don’t know your circumstances so I don’t know the whole story. But I would say that if you think someone knows your screen name it might be a good idea to change it so that you can feel confident about future posts. And I don’t know if you’re in therapy, but if so it might be worth talking about the possible consequences of people you know IRL learning very personal things about you, and about your fears concerning people’s knowledge of details of your life. But I think I’ve digressed away from the original topic…
Posted by rainbowbrite on August 26, 2005, at 13:01:27
In reply to Re: And another issue - post deletion » rainbowbrite, posted by Tamar on August 26, 2005, at 4:10:07
>I suppose the question that comes to my mind is: how would someone know your screen name? Unless you tell them… or if you tell one person and then they tell someone else… Or if you post from a public computer and they access the site after you, perhaps there might be a way of finding out.
easy, if you forget to turn off conputer, if someone uses it right after you when you dont expect it. People jsut have to take a peek in history and your screen name sometimes saves in the system.
>But it’s not possible to undo things you might have said IRL, like if you’ve ever told someone your screen name. And maybe that’s the significant issue.
I havent told anyone, never would. But there are ways that people can get it.
>It sounds to me as if you’re feeling quite unsafe and anxious, and I don’t know your circumstances so I don’t know the whole story. But I would say that if you think someone knows your screen name it might be a good idea to change it so that you can feel confident about future posts.
I am. There is a story to this that is too complicated to write but I feel really unsettled and i wish Dr Bob would consider the option. :-( Im not sure changing my name would make a diffenece...
>And I don’t know if you’re in therapy, but if so it might be worth talking about the possible consequences of people you know IRL learning very personal things about you, and about your fears concerning people’s knowledge of details of your life. But I think I’ve digressed away from the original topic…
Its fine for certain people to know things, but when info gets in the wrong hands then :-o, which is my concern.
Posted by rainbowbrite on August 26, 2005, at 13:13:11
In reply to Re: And another issue - post deletion » rainbowbrite, posted by alexandra_k on August 25, 2005, at 19:08:33
I thought I replied to this?
Im ambivalent as well but...when you have put too much..ugh>I guess I think that the optimal way around this issue would be to make small boards non-googleable and only viewable to members.
agreed
- It don't think it is the case that people will invariably choose private over publicly viewable. If that was the case then everyone from here would move over to PC (where all posts are non-googleable). Or over to Kali Munroe's site (where all posts are only viewable to members).
PC is non googleable??? hmmm
- I think that that would be a terrific outlet for people who are concerned about posting stuff that may be identifying.
Yup
Posted by gardenergirl on August 26, 2005, at 15:11:25
In reply to Re: And another issue - post deletion » alexandra_k, posted by rainbowbrite on August 26, 2005, at 13:13:11
rainbowbrite,
I understand concern about people connecting your screen name to you. I have told a certain number of folks my real name, and have had that backfire at times. It does make you want to go back in time and be even more discreet.You're safe with me, btw. You handsome man, you. ;)
gg
Posted by Phillipa on August 26, 2005, at 17:19:08
In reply to Re: And another issue - post deletion » rainbowbrite, posted by Phillipa on August 25, 2005, at 21:58:22
Rainbowbrite, Thanks for that suggestion of E-mailing Dr. Bob he sent me a response today and once I provided the number of the post he deleted it! So thanks again. I do love Dr. Bob Fondly, Phillipa
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